SB Nation User Blog: grungedave

Tracy McGrady's family must be really, really bored

grungedave — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:22:46 -0000

about 1 month ago: Houston Rockets' Joey Dorsey, left, and Tracy McGrady sits on the bench during a NBA basketball game against the Portland Trail Blazers on Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009 in Houston. (AP Photo/Bob Levey)

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So, uh, the NBA released the first round of vote totals for the All-Star Game.

You have your usual suspects... including Tracy McGrady. WHA?!?!?

Just to be clear, here are T-Mac's stats for 2009/10:

0 games played
0 games started (ask Allen Iverson, this one is important)
0.0 ppg
0.0 rpg
0.0 apg
1 times put on uniform

Look, I know there is a long history of players being voted into the All-Star Game who haven't even played that particular season. Hell, Magic Johnson had HIV (past tense), and had already retired - yet he was voted into the game - and he even won the MVP award. On multiple occasions, Yao Ming has been voted into the game when he was injured. So, I'm not necessarily surprised that McGrady has received a few token votes this year.

But, come on, it's Tracy McGrady. Are you seriously telling me there are fans/people that look at the ballot... see the names "Bryant, Kobe", "Paul, Chris", "Roy, Brandon", "Nash, Steve" and "Williams, Deron" at the guard position... and then somehow decide that McGrady deserves to receive their vote instead??? Really!?!?!?!

To make it even crazier, this might have made more sense if Yao were once again the leading vote-getter at center. But he's not even on the ballot. Yet McGrady is?

The only conclusion I can draw? T-Mac's family is very, very dedicated.

Yes, LeBron is in town tonight... No, don't get used to it.

grungedave — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:25:56 -0000

More photos » by Amy Sancetta - AP

about 1 month ago: FILE -- This May 28, 2009, file photo shows Cleveland Cavaliers basketball player LeBron James during Game 5 of the NBA Eastern Conference basketball finals, in Cleveland. James tells a newspaper that a cancer scare earlier this year was "nerve-racking" and had him on edge for a few days. (AP Photo/Amy Sancetta, File)

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Richard Justice is at it again. Instead of writing about something interesting (or writing about Vince Young for the 436,849th time)... he is taking the opportunity to "pitch" the city of Houston to LeBron James. Who just happens to be in town tonight to take on the Rockets.

Hey, while you are at it Dickie, why not just ask for a raise... or for a $50M car... or for the Texans to trade Mario for VY (Oh, wait, bad example)?

For the last time, people - The Rockets have a 0.00000% chance of signing LeBron this summer. It's not going to happen and making public pleas for the impossible reeks of desperation. Not to mention a lack of ideas when it's your job to write about the Rockets.

I mean, how hard must it be to come up with interesting topics for tonight's game?

I know the mere mention of the name "LeBron" generates page views/hits, and it usually makes for good headlines. But there are soooo many more interesting topics for tonight's game. In fact, off the top of my head, here are 5:

1. Chuck Hayes vs. the FatAss. Will Shaq mistake Chuck for a donut and try to eat him? We're talking about the biggest player in the NBA versus what may be the smallest starting center in the history of the league. And the smaller player is better.

2. If only Tracy McGrady were healthy, today would have been one of the three days all season he would play real, actual defense! (He only plays hard on defense when facing LeBron or Kobe).

3. What the hell is up with Mike Brown's glasses? Did he get a special discount if he ordered frames that covered every shade in the spectrum of colors?

4. Can Trevor Ariza and Shane Battier shut down LeBron the same way Shane and Crazy Pills did last year in Houston? (sidenote: I miss Von Wafer. So much.) The Rockets' beat-down of the Cavaliers last year was one of the best games I've ever watched. Can a repeat be in the making?

5. Without Yao Ming available, we miss out on what may be one of the final Yao/Shaq matchups. And as much as I like the make fun of the FatAss, his games with Yao have always been epic.

See, there's five topics that are far more interesting than the drivel Justice published this morning. And I'm not even a journalist (nor do I want the title). I'm sure Tom has even better suggestions for Dickie - considering that Tom is actually good at journalistic stuff.

Oh, and...

GO ROCKETS!!!

update: Looks like Feigen and I were on the same page! Cool.

Off topic: WTF is up with the Houston Texans?

grungedave — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:03:27 -0000

Yes, I know this is a Rockets blog... but I'm allowed to go off-topic when I want.

That said: what the f--k is going on with the Houston Texans???

I have three basic questions.

(1) Why the f--k is Chris Brown throwing a halfback pass near the goalline? First of all, there actually has to be a legitimate threat of a run before that play works. Chris Brown sucks as a RB, so that should have negated this, but... noooooo! Secondly, Chris Brown is not a QB and based on the last time we played JAX, everyone should know he can't hold onto the ball. What makes people think he can throw a football? (What we got was a modified shot put. Ugh.)

(2) On the last drive, why are we blitzing the QB and playing pass routes? There was exactly a 0.0000000% chance that anyone other than MJD was going to be running the ball on every f--king play. So 11 guys should have been running at MJD (and tackling - but that's a whole different issue). More stupid f--king play-calling.

(3) Why the f--k was Chris Brown not cut back in week 3 - aka, the last time we played Jacksonville; aka, the game where Chris Brown fumbled the ball at the goalline costing the team yet another "W". Jimmy Johnson would have cut his ass right away just to prove a point and scare the team into not f--king around. Kubiak apparently is too nice to be a head coach. He lets this linger and the players get sloppier as the season progresses.

F---------k!!!!!!

Rockets come back to edge "San Francisco" Warriors 111-109, move to 11-8 on the season

grungedave — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 17:02:56 -0000

More photos » by Marcio Jose Sanchez - AP

11 days ago: Houston Rockets' Aaron Brooks shoots past Golden State Warriors' Stephen Curry during the first half of an NBA basketball game in Oakland, Calif., Thursday, Dec. 3, 2009. Houston won 111-109. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)

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I'm conflicted about last night's game.

On one hand, the third quarter was highly entertaining. If I didn't have a rooting interest in the game. Golden State simply did not miss when they attempted to put the ball in the basket from behind that arbitrary semicircle painted 24' from the rim. The midget wearing red/white did his best to answer right back - and was admirable in his attempts - but the Warriors turned a 7 point halftime deficit into a 6 point 4th Q lead. The Rockets' 3rd Q defense was non-existent. As a Rockets fan, this is bad. Very bad.

On the other hand, the Rockets showed heart and grit by overcoming a 10 point deficit with 9 minutes and change left to go in the game. At times it even seemed like it was 5 on 8... with Brooks and Lowry getting pushed around but no whistles to follow. (An argument could also be made that it looked like it was 4 on 9 given that Trevor Ariza did whatever he could to kill the Rockets' momentum with turnovers and bad shot selection.)

In the end, the Rockets pulled through... made timely free throws, and escaped with the all-important W. I guess that is all that matters. So there's your game recap. But then..........

This Rockets team is troubling to me. They simply are not that good.
There. I said it.

Coach Sleepy employs a typical 9 man rotation. Of these 9 players, none would be a first or second option on offense for any of the other likely playoff teams. Don't get me wrong -- I love the contributions made by Brooks, Scola, Landry, Lowry, Ariza (sometimes), and Battier. I'm also really impressed by the Albino Shadow's first 19 games as a rookie. But this is an 11-8 team that often looks out-of-sorts on the court.

Yes, the Rockets can beat teams like Golden State. And the Clippers. And the Durants... blah, blah, blah. When faced with legitimate competition, however, the Rockets simply cannot match up. The one win against the Lakers came only after Artest challenged the power of karma. Beyond that, there are bad losses to the Spurs, the Mavericks, the Hawks and the Suns. And a totally unexplainable loss to the freakin' Kings.

90% of the time, the Rockets' offense consists of the following: Brooks or Ariza takes ill-advised shot... Scola/Landry/Hayes or Lowry gets offensive rebound and a quick put-back against a surprised defense. 2 points. Very rarely do I see much of a set-play being run. I see a lot of running and a lot of hustle and energy. But I don't see much in the way of organization. This is why the Rockets simply can't match up against the Spurs or Mavericks. Those teams have a gameplan, and they execute it. They know exactly what they are doing when they get the ball. And on defense, they are far less likely to allow the Rockets to get offensive rebounds (the Rockets' #1 ranking in offensive rebounding has been acquired by beating up on bad teams.)

In contrast, does anyone really think Brooks or Lowry has a "plan" when they set up the offensive possession? To me it seems they just want to run, create chaos and hope that they find someone open. This often results in turnovers. (Which is how the Warriors built that 10 point lead to begin with.)

Basically, the Rockets look like a high-school JV team looking to impress the coach of the varsity team by playing hard. This works periodically... and the Rockets have just enough talent to compete against mediocre teams. It especially works early in the season when everyone is happy and healthy. I'm enjoying it while I can.

What concerns me is when the grind of the 82 game season starts to set in. This is when the bumps and bruises begin to add up... players stop hustling 100% of the time... mental errors become more frequent... and the inability to have a fundamentally-sound offensive set comes back to bite you in the rear. This is also why I still think the Rockets finish 35-47. If this keeps up, when they start playing more division rivals and the elite teams of the East - the Rockets are going to be exposed. And this makes me sad.

... it's not like we expect Battier to block six shots every game. Or do we?

Is a certain Rocket being haunted by the Ghost of Christmas Past?

grungedave — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 06:06:20 -0000

We're going to play a little game. It could be fun, depending on your point of view of course.

Here are five stat lines from various Rockets players... the trick is to identify which player the respective stat line belongs to. See, I told you it would be fun! And here we go - take your best guess!

Player A: 37.9% FG, 32.7% 3pt FG, 69.2% FT
Player B: 37.5% FG, 36.3% 3pt FG, 73.4% FT
Player C: 39.4% FG, 35.1% 3pt FG, 71.5% FT
Player D: 37.0% FG, 34.8% 3pt FG, 78.9% FT
Player E: 38.5% FG, 34.1% 3pt FG, 74.1% FT

okay... can you guess who the various players are? Tougher than it looks, I know! Take your best guess anyway, and we'll see how you did in a bit.

[insert Jeopardy! theme music here]

You give up? Okay, okay... the answers to today's quiz are below the jump.

And the answers are:

/Interwebs drumroll please!

Player A: Rafer Alston, 2005-06
Player B: Rafer Alston, 2006-07
Player C: Rafer Alston, 2007-08
Player D: Rafer Alston, 2008-09 (w/ Rockets)
and
Player E: Trevor Ariza (!?!?!), 2009. Yes, it's true.

Now, before Trevor Ariza came to the Rockets and turned into a gunner with no aim, he carried career averages of 45.7% shooting on standard FGs. Granted, he's never been anywhere near the 3 point shooter he appeared to be in the playoffs last year (and anyone expecting him to shoot 45% from deep this season was delusional to begin with).

Nevertheless, Trevor Ariza is eerily becoming what I never want any Rocket to be - and that's a Rafer Alston clone on offense. Even worse, for all the shit we gave Rafer when he was here, at least he could dribble the basketball and not turn it over. Trevor, however, is giving it away at a ridiculous rate of 2.6 TOs a game and he's jacking up a Rasheed-esque 7.0 3pt FGs every game. And missing almost five of them every outing. This is bad, bad, bad basketball.

To this I say:

Trevor, I want to like you. I really do.
But for this to actually happen, stop shooting it so f--king much!!

Now, if you insist on shooting the basketball (which Coach Sleepy and resident boy genius Daryl Morey apparently want you to do), that's okay. Just take it to the basket. Layups and dunks are your friend. Your mid-range jump shot is mostly useless because you take forever to wind up. Your three-point shooting is abysmal unless you are stepping into the shot and someone kicks it out to you from the post. Never, ever should you be shooting off the dribble. It's a worse idea than the Jump to Conclusions Mat... and yes, I know you have your own prototype and everything. It's still horrible, this idea.

Please reconsider your approach, Trevor. Being the next Rafer is NOT something anyone should aspire to be. Unless you like being a useless cog in an 0-18 machine.

Now, Trevor, if you tell me that you feel haunted by the ghost of Rafer Alston -- that would make a hell of a lot more sense. Though I'd still suggest you not shoot as much, just to be safe.

Rockets take advantage of karmic gift - come back to beat Lakers by double digits

grungedave — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:04:46 -0000

The Rockets started slow tonight. Real slow. As in, 16 quick points without much resistance for the Lakers.

Then Ron Artest pissed off the basketball gods.

Now, as much as I love you Crazy Pills - when Trevor Ariza lost his shoe and you intentionally threw it into the crowd - that probably wasn't the best idea. Karma is a bitch, dude.

Plus, you now owe Trevor Ariza breakfast, as that was a dick move.

Did I miss the song??

grungedave — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 05:05:29 -0000

More photos » by Pat Sullivan - AP

about 1 month ago: Oklahoma Thunder's Etan Thomas (36) tries to block a shot by Houston Rockets' Chase Budinger (10) during the first half of an NBA basketball game Friday, Nov. 6, 2009 in Houston. (AP Photo/Pat Sullivan)

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Chase Budinger: 6-10 FG (2-4 3pt), 16 points, 3 rebounds, 2 assists and 1 block tonight.

sing it again, rookie beyotch!!!

Who is to blame for the loss to the Lakers? You may not like the answer.

grungedave — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:21:40 -0000

The Lakers were an overwhelming favorite heading into Wednesday's game. The Rockets, however, surprised and confused the defending champs by playing aggressively and not backing down to anything. Not even with significant height disadvantages at every position.

Yet in the end, it came down to Kobe Bryant simply being better than everyone else. And he may have had an additional edge that none of the currently healthy Rockets had...

"What is that?" you may ask. Well... it pains me to say, but we might have to lay a bit of blame on the namesake himself. Yes, Hakeem Olajuwon spent part of the summer tutoring Kobe on sophisticated post moves and footwork. Things which Kobe used to shred the Rockets' 4th Q defense on Wednesday.

It makes me happy that Kobe would seek out Hakeem's help.

But it makes me sad that these trade secrets would be used against Hakeem's hometown team.

Oh, I can't stay mad at you, Hakeem! You rule.

The Sports Guy's phone call to Daryl Morey (the secret recording)

grungedave — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:40:07 -0000

[scene: Daryl Morey at the office hard at work reviewing box scores, 100 page spreadsheets and his own super-secret player ratings formula. It's his version of coffee and the morning paper... ]

Daryl Morey: [looking at the Rockets/Lakers box score] F--king refs! How do we not get a single free throw attempt in the fourth quarter on our home court?!?! F--k!!!

suddenly the phone rings.
[Morey looks at his caller ID - the number is 213-SPORTS-G]

Morey: *sigh* [answers phone] What do you want, Simmons? I'm kinda busy right now.

Bill "the Sports Guy" Simmons: Yo, what up, Dork-E? Tough game for you guys last night. I DVR'd "America's Next Top Model" so I could watch. Um, I mean, I made the Sports Gal put it on DVR. Gotta pull rank sometime, am I right? But seriously, you need to front Kobe Bryant there at the end. You just can't let him beat you. Letting the Lakers win is almost like a loss for the Celtics, am I right? Did you see the Celtics are 6-0? I never doubted KG!

Morey: [interrupting] Did you just call me "dorky"? And how did you get through? I thought I had your number blocked last week?

Simmons: Ahhh, no way brah - I said "Dork-E", like the letter "E". It's "Dork Elvis" shortened, you get it? It's funny. I give all sorts of crazy funny names to all my friends... Hench, J-Bug, Hopper...

Morey: [overtly annoyed] Bill, the Elvis thing wasn't funny the first time you said it. Nor the 100th time. Don't you have a book to shill or something?

Simmons: Yeah! Did you see? My book is #11 at Amazon! I check this every day you know...

Morey: I'm sure you do. Bill, I'm kinda busy, what do you want?

Simmons: I wanted to know if you read my book! I sent you a free copy! Did you read it?

Morey: [stares at unopened box in corner of office....] Uhhh, yeah, ummm, I'm still in the middle of it. It's kinda long, you know.

Simmons: [boastfully] It's over 700 pages long! It can stop a bullet too! Or as I like to say: it's the Bill Russell to a bullet's Wilt Chamberlain. I wanted to make BIll Russell the #1 player of all time in my completely arbitrary ranking system, but my editors wouldn't let me put that in my book, so I just went with Michael Jordan.

Morey: [dismissive] Well, you know, Michael Jordan is by most statistical observations the best player of all-time. By far. It's not even really much of an argument. Besides, Bill Russell played in a league with only 8 teams and a de-facto racial quota system in place.

Simmons: [defensive] I don't know... Russell was a Celtic, man. And Jordan didn't win 11 rings. Did you know Russell was even the head coach at the end of that championship run?!?! Also, I was talking to Adam Corolla recently and he had this theory about basketball in the 1950s and 1960s........

Morey: Adam Corolla? The sidekick from the Man Show? That fuckin' guy?

Simmons: Hey, he hates it when you call him Jimmy's sidekick. How do we know Jimmy isn't Adam's sidekick?

Morey: Fair enough. Not that I give 2 shits either way. [lengthy pause] Look... Bill.... I gotta get back to this. I have to re-adjust some efficiency formulas today. Then I have to meet with Battier to go over game charts and our plan for stopping Kevin Durant and the Oklahoma City Thunder on Friday.

Simmons: [having a fan-gasm] Ohhh, you can't stop Durant and the Zombies. No way. He's going to lead the league in scoring this year. And he's only 21! There is no ceiling for him.

Morey: Surprisingly, Bill, the recent numbers tell me all we gotta do is dare Durant to shoot from beyond 23 feet... and his +/- ratio suggests he might actually be hurting the Thunder. This is why I am crunching numbers today.

Simmons: No... no.... no. But enough about my man crush - what's this formula you are working on? Maybe we can write a book together about it? I mean... when I'm not scouring box scores and video so I can make my NFL picks!

Morey: Bill, it's secret. I think you can understand that. I only share this information with Shane. And yeah, awesome job going 4-9 with your exemplary research on NFL games last week.

Simmons: Hey, it was an unlucky week for my gambling manifesto. Shane? You mean Battier? What's with the two of you? Are you two dating or something? Come on, what's all this super secret stuff? You should be more like me - I make all my gambling formulas public!! Besides, I promise I won't use your basketball formula against you when I am GM of the Timberwolves. Promise!

Morey: [lauging] You as the GM? I thought you liked Ricky Rubio - why would you want to fuck up his career by being his future GM?

Simmons: Ahh, it's not like I could be worse than David Kahn. And I love Kevin McHale, but... you know. And Ricky would love me... we could watch all sorts of TV shows together that I am way too old to be watching. Couldn't you just see him as a guest star on 90210? Or maybe I could use my connections to get him cast on the Real World during the summer break?

Morey: You have got to stop watching that shit, Bill. I mean, I'm not the man you are at 40 yet, but... even I've grown beyond soap operas masquerading as teenager drama.

Simmons: [nearly in tears] but... but... I want to be cool!! I have to be hip!! It's just like in that movie Almost Famous. How will the other cool kids like me if I don't stay current with what's going on in pop culture?

Morey: [looking for a quick escape] Yeah, ummm, you are exactly like William Miller... you even have the same first name... uhhhhh...

Simmons: I'd never sing "Tiny Dancer" though.

Morey: Of course not.

Simmons: Well, anyway, I wanted to see what Dork Elvis was up to before I had my meetings with all the super-famous directors that are part of ESPN's 30-for-30. I recruited all of them. Me. Myself.

Morey: Seriously, stop with this "dork Elvis" shit. Just stop.

Simmons: [completely unaware] It's funny. It's a funny name. Okay, check ya later, Dork-E!

/hangs up/

Morey: ...... fucking finally. Now I can get back to work. I simply must figure out the proper measurement and ratio for incorporating "incompetent referees" as a variable into my secret formula. Next time we see the Lakers... they won't know what hit 'em. Moneyball can kiss my M.I.T. ass after I perfect this plan. Math, ftw.

Guess who is in first place? That's right!

grungedave — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 14:55:08 -0000

Things I never thought I would be able to say after Opening Day:

Guess who is in first place!!!??

The Houston Rockets!!!!!

Southwest Standings

	W	L	PCT	GB	STRK
Houston	3	1	.750	0	Won 3
Dallas	2	1	.666	0.5	Won 2
San Antonio	2	1	.666	0.5	Won 1
New Orleans	1	3	.250	2	Lost 2
Memphis	1	3	.250	2	Lost 2

(updated 11.3.2009 at 8:56 AM CST)

........... these guys amaze me every single game. I've never been so happy to be so wrong about a team.