More photos » by David Zalubowski - AP

8 months ago: Philadelphia Phillies starting pitcher Brett Myers delivers a pitch to Colorado Rockies batter Todd Helton in the first inning of a Major League Baseball game in Denver on Saturday, April 11, 2009. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

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Congratulations to d-list darling Rich Harden on his nice new $7.5M deal. At this point it's either the Mariners- a team he would fit extremely well on, with a great defense and a spacious ballpark, and one of the worst teams with which you could possibly sign a contract to rejuvenate your pitching career, the Texas Rangers. Have I mentioned I love and hate Jack Zdurencik?

Now, Brett Myers.

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More photos » by Jim Prisching - AP

Rich Harden sleeps eight hours a night; I guess he's pretty normal in that respect. (AP Photo/Jim Prisching)

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So, what better to follow one of the departure of one of the cleverest and most prolific saber-themed writers on the web, than an intermittent serial themed on injured free agents and named after a Kathy Griffin realty show? The question is rhetorical: This is all you get, and you're going to like it, and you're going to like liking it. Sure, Kathy Griffin and Erik Bedard may have as much in common as baseball and politics, but some people are making that work too. At least the pitcher and the comedian have both been under the knife a few times, which is less than I can say for my next project.

Unbelievable as it may be, RIch Harden has never had TJ, arthroscopic debridement, or any baseball-related surgery. Despite this fact, he has logged more time on the disabled list in his career than your average tommy-john patient, straining his UCL, rotator cuff, and obliques (among other things). He's been the quintessential insanely talented guy who if-he-only-could-stay-healthy. He's struck out more than a batter per inning in his career, broken 100 MPH with his fastball, and has a career FIP of 3.53.

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More photos » by Ted S. Warren - AP

Seattle Mariners starting pitcher Erik Bedard strains his hip flexor while executing a momentary pensive reflection. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren)

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With my Cardinals out of the playoffs, I'm afraid I can't muster the will to write anything about the remaining basta...er...teams in the old Fall Classic. Instead, I'm going to begin writing about the upcoming winter and free agency. There are a few big names that will likely hit the market, including Matt Holliday, John Lackey, and Vladimir Guerrero. In all likelihood, these players will get their money from a small set of large market teams- the more intriguing aspect of free agency is the deal-making that leads to contracts with real value.

In 2009, Russell Branyan signed a $1.4M, 1-year contract on the heels of a decent season where he made the league minimum to man a platoon for Milwaukee. He followed that up with an excellent 2.8 WAR year in which he basically did the same thing he always does: Hit for a ton of power and flail with various levels of ineptitude at breaking pitches, providing a very good deal for his employers. These sorts of contracts happen every offseason, but who is the next Russell Branyan?

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The superhumanly mild-mannered Ichiro earned his only career ejection today, arguing balls and strikes.

via img.imgcake.com

Oh well.

More photos » by Jeff Roberson - AP

This guy used to be John Smoltz. This just in- he still is.(AP Photo/Jeff Roberson)

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With few exceptions, there are two reasons that most professional athletes hang up the spikes and retire: Declining skills and injury. In June of 2008, John Smoltz, then 41 years old, went under the knife and it appeared likely that one of these outcomes had found him in the same way as it had many others. The surgery was performed by Dr. James Andrews, who found damage to the joint capsule and the glenoid labrum. The torn labrum was famously (and somewhat hyperbolically) described by WIll Carroll as such a debilitating injury that, "if pitchers with torn labrums were horses, they'd be destroyed."

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If there is a one word description of the game of baseball, it could be anything. Speed. Grace. Strategy. History. It's an exercise in pointless athletic endeavor, played under a set of generations old rules like balls and strikes, fouls and home runs, and played under a set of constantly evolving economic and political rules; Rule IV, Rule V, CBA. There are the old heroes and villains. There are the fiery young kids in the stands and in the bullpen and in the outfield. There are the moral conundrums. Hard slides. Beanballs. Gambling. Steroids. Some like their players squeaky-clean, and some know the players on their favorite team go straight to the bars after practice. Success is predicated on a million factors, chief among them being two opposite and equally powerful forces:

Talent and luck.

And what's in that word talent? Control. The ability to control the outcome of pitches, at-bats, contract negotiations, player development. Luck is the same. Luck is the absence of control. Perhaps baseball is nothing but levels of control.

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