I didn't want to mess up the mojo of the last thread, but there were, like, lots and lots of comments there.

Mod power, activate!

Welcome back for another week of Caption This! Last week I updated you all on the fact that 49ers players are doing things related to football. It's true. They're wearing uniforms and helmets and everything. But that was just a sample size of one. It could have been a fluke. I know how statistics work, after all, and one update about 49ers players doing things related to football hardly represents a trend.

So I dug deep to find confirmation, and I'm happy to report for a second time that 49ers players are doing things related to football. This is wonderful news for those of us who like the 49ers and/or football and/or players doing things. If I extrapolate this out, they'll probably keep doing things related to football just about every week from now until the end of time. I graphed it out to make sure, and the data seems solid.

Here we have Trent Baalke, Alex Boone, and Anthony Davis all being entertaining in some way. In my imagination, Baalke is telling them a story. It's a gripping story, because look at how he's gripping the air in front of him. Alex Boone is shocked by this story, but Anthony Davis knows all too well how something like that could happen. I could fill in the details for you, but it would probably require explicit language and additional graphs to get the whole thing out.

What do you think is going on in this photo? Give us your best captions for this one down in the comments section, and rec any that give you a laugh. Last week, I tied with Virginia9er for most recs. This week, it could be you.

At long last, we have new photos of 49ers performing some approximation of playing football. It's been a while. It really has. Things get desperate in the offseason. Every new week, I check for new photos, and every week I'm disappointed. The Combine offers a brief respite, but even those aren't really 49ers. Not yet. But the rest of the time, that's when the searches start. Sure, it all starts with a harmless search for cats, but then by midnight I'm typing b-r-e-t-t-f-a-v-r-e into the search bar while sweating vodka and chewing coffee grinds. If there's a better way, I haven't found it.

But we have new photos! What a frabjous day!

So here we have Jason Slowey and... uh... good old... number 6...? Good old Redshirt Six, we'll call him.

I don't know who that is. I can't find him on the roster. Maybe he just snuck in. Maybe he's Jason Slowey's friend. Whoever he is, it looks like the two of them have cooked up a killer dance routine. A possible rendition:

Slowey: "I don't wanna. The routine's not ready yet."

Six: "We're doing this, Jason. The team wants to see what we've been working on."

Slowey: "It's not ready yet!"

Six: "This is gonna be so great. Oh man, the music's starting. This is so great!"

Slowey: "I don't wanna."

Six: "So, so great. Just dance, Jason!"

Slowey: "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh."

Six: "This is awesome!"

Now, I don't want to suggest that number six is happy to be there, but, yeah... he's pretty darned happy to be there.

Give this photo the caption it deserves. Head down to the comments section to play, and rec any comments you see that make you laugh. Last week, mrg80 got the most recs. This week, it could be you.

I'll be honest: There probably won't be any runs in this thread.

Welcome to the most groundbreaking Caption This yet!

Okay, okay. I apologize for that. I do. I was scraping the barrel there, and not on account of need. I have this entire spare barrel full of comedy goo. I just so hate breaking a new seal before I'm sure that I got the most out of the last one.

Maybe if I water down the old goo I can get more out of it....

Nobody even has to know...

At the groundbreaking ceremony for the 49ers new Santa Clara stadium, Denise DeBartolo tells Jed and John York to take this job and shovel it.

Perfect. Demolition Man references never go out of style, just like the three shells method. Heh. See, I did it again. Maybe this ol' barrel has some mileage left in her after all.

I held back from using the groundbreaking photos in this feature for a while, but I just kept coming back to this photo. What is Denise DeBartolo looking at? Is it a spaceship? Why can't she even be bothered to strike the shoveling pose? Is the spaceship that amazing?

You tell me. Take a moment to head down to the comments section and give us the best caption for this photo. While you're there, rec any you see that make you laugh. 49erLou took home the most recs last week.

With the draft officially in the books, I wanted to make sure that we initiated at least one of our new, young studs into the Caption This game. In the process of doing this--and much to my surprise--I realized that we already have. And as I went though the picks, from the first round forward, I began to despair. AJ Jenkins? No funny stuff. LaMichael James? I mean, those uniforms could get a few laughs, but...

And then Cam Johnson came through again. This guy, he's not only a hard worker with a good motor, etc., etc., but he's also a great Caption This prospect. His early resume is certainly impressive and, if given the opportunity, I feel good about his chances to eventually be a Caption This star.

Just to the easy one out of the way early:

Despite showing great focus in the NFL Draft Combine Chicken Dance Tournament, defensive lineman Cam Johnson gets sent off the field before even getting to clap.

Now it's your turn. Give Cam Johnson the proper Caption This welcome. As always, use the comments section to provide your captions, and rec any that give you a chuckle. mcwagner got the most recs last time.

We have more gamethreads now than the Giants have runs.

In the midst of an otherwise slow week (raise your hands if you really want to caption a photo of Tebow at a Yankees game--yeah, easy target, but yeeeeesh), Rex Ryan was good enough to permit photographers to catch him looking deeply uncomfortable. He has saved us!

I, for one, love the inner monologue possibilities that accompany this photo. What could Rex Ryan be thinking here? He could be thinking anything! What is he watching? He could be watching anything!

"You know, they call it football, but you never see any actual feet. I wonder why that is..."

"Do I really need to sit here and watch this Mark Sanchez highlight reel? Well, at least it's not going to take very long..."

"I wonder how mad Michelle will be if I sneak off for a hot dog or two. Ah, never mind. Never stopped me before. God, I'm hungry."

The possibilities are endless!

Have fun with this one. Give us your best captions down in the comments section, and rec' any captions that give you a laugh. Last week, I made out with the most recs. Don't let that happen again!

It took me a while, I'll admit. It took me a long time, but I'm finally interested in the 2012 NFL Draft. It was tough. I had the basic knowledge. I knew who Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin Jr. III were. I knew when the 49ers first round pick would be. And I knew... I knew that for once we had no glaring holes to fill in the starting lineup. Sure, a guy could be expected to come in and compete for a job, but there's something about the first round pick who you know is going to be sliding right into the starting lineup that is just plain more exciting.

So I struggled. I couldn't get into it the way I have in past years. It's not actually a bad thing--it's because the 49ers roster is in such good shape right now that I'm not, for once, poring over these prospect lists desperate to spot the guy who is going to fix things.

But I'm coming around. I get to thinking about what Baalke and Harbaugh did in last year's draft and that gets me excited. These guys can draft, and that's pretty exciting.

So to celebrate the steady march toward the draft, Caption This is getting in the spirit: And with the first pick in the 2012 Caption This Draft, howtheyscored selects Andrew Luck, and his hilariously high jump squat. I'm going to leave the heavy captioning to the experts: you guys; but before I do that I am just going to leave this one thing here...

Invisible Toilet

There. I did it.

Have fun with this one. Rec any captions that give you a laugh. Last time, Giant Voodoo and moto9er took home the most recs. This week, will it be you?

In light of Alex Smith's Nike photo, it only seemed right to use Caption This to show off a little something from his audition shoot.

"Okay, Alex: Now, give us your angry face. Good, good. I like where you're coming from, but can we have more Devil eyes? Yeah, Devil eyes. You know, that demon-possession look? No. Well, just work on it. That's something we really want to see at the official shoot. Great. Okay, moving on. Can you put both your arms at your sides, but not right at your sides? Yeah, hold them away from your body just a little bit. Oh, wow. You're really a natural with the arms. That's... that's just perfect. You should have seen the trouble we had getting Tebow to do the arm thing. And don't get me started on the Devil eyes! Oh, man. Okay, that's great. Now, can you take off the sweatshirt? Right. Good. Just like that. Just a little slower. Slower. Slower. No, slower. Okay, just put it back on so we can try again. Now... slooooowly..."

Or, at least, I assume that's how Alex Smith's audition with Nike went. That's how mine went, and they probably do it the same for everyone. Probably. Yeah, totally.

Almost definitely.

Of course, the whole reason we're here is for the captions. So go right down to the comments sections and propose your ideal funny caption for the above photo. If you see any that make you laugh, give them a rec. The last time we gathered together, madmatt took home the most recs. Will it be you this time?

Caption This would like to extend a warm welcome to one of the newest members of the 49ers: the esteemed Mr. Randy Moss. It only makes sense, I think, to welcome him to the fold in much the same way that we will likely bid him farewell: with a laugh. It also only makes sense, I think, to point out how much I've been using one of my favorite punctuation marks in this paragraph: the colon.

The colon, coincidentally, is also an apt metaphor for one of the newest members of the 49ers: that still-esteemed Mr. Randy Moss. So you see, we've come full circle.

Randy Moss is actually a pretty photogenic guy, which is why this photo is such a gem. It's just not often that you catch Randy Moss on film trying out for quarterback without having trimmed his face tentacles while practicing Fur Elis on his air piano. He usually keeps that stuff out of the media. He's a very private squidface.

Now it's your turn. How would you caption this photo? Let's give Randy Moss the welcome he deserves. And if you see any captions in the thread that amuse you, give them a rec. Pat Willie got the most recs last week. Will it be you this time?

The NFL Pre-Draft Combine is a goldmine, and we all enjoy it for different reasons. Scouts and GMs enjoy having the opportunity to see many of the most interesting college players in person, whether working out on the field or showing off their interview skills behind the scenes. Fans enjoy being able to track the prospects of their favorite young players, and being able to watch unfettered athleticism on display for no reason better than displaying unfettered athleticism.

Me, I like CombineFace. And believe me, there is no shortage of CombineFace. None.

Today's Caption This: CombineFace of choice is defensive lineman Cameron Johnson. In this photo, is defensive lineman Cameron Johnson A) Running Drills, B) Doing a Little Dance, C) Breaking Wind*, or D) All of the Above?

Because I can't figure it out. Probably C, though. Or maybe a Post-C B. I sometimes do that, too....

Anyhoo, have fun with this one. Cameron Johnson needs captions, and you're the only ones who can give them to him. If you see a caption idea that makes you laugh, give it a rec. bignerd won the last Caption This handily. Will it be you?

*Yes, I used the Britishism as LondonNiner bait.

For those of you who may not habla la lengua de golf (that means: the lengua of golf), that's a little golf joke hidden in the headline. But it's not just a golf joke. Let me explain.

Here we have a photo. Jerry Rice is in the photo. If you look to the background, Jim Harbaugh is also in the photo. Now, I don't know about you, but I imagine Jim Harbaugh standing at the edge of the bunker jeering any player unlucky enough to land in the sand trap. He just stands there, waiting. It's what he does in the offseason. Really, the man is lost without football.

Anyhoo, there he stands, waiting for sand shots. And, oh, the inner smile he feels when he sees Jerry Rice saunter into his zone (too stoic to show it on the outside). Oh, yes. Oh, he's been waiting for this. He's been waiting for this longer than you can imagine. He's so excited that he almost wastes it on a practice swing.

But he waits. Patience is his game.

And just at the moment that Rice reaches into his backswing, a sound soars across the heavens, majestic in its clarity, tone, and timing. "Jerry... SLICE!" Harbaugh yells, pulling Jerry's mind out of the swing just enough. The ball skips away, deeper into the sand. Harbaugh can't help but smile now, the corners of his mouth spreading across his face. He has another chance. He's ready. He waits...

Now: The name of the game is captions. We'll all use this thread to make them for this photo. If I see any that make me laugh, I'll rec them. And you should, too.

But as an added bonus this week, if I see any that fill in the blank of Harbaugh's coming taunt in my imaginary narrative above, I will personally rec it automatically whenever I make it back to the thread. Last week, Eyeblack22 took home the most recs. Will it be you this time?

Ron Jaworski never lost his love for playing the game. Since retiring, he's never stopped missing being a football player in the National Football League, feeling that deep sense of camaraderie with a close-knit group of football players. Whether in Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Miami, or Kansas City, it's safe to say that the one thing that kept Ron Jaworski going was playing football. He never lost his passion for strapping on the pads. He never lost his competitive fire. He never lost the burning desire to prove that he could still play football in the National Football League.

That's why Ron Jaworski still takes every opportunity he can to lace up a pair of cleats and step back out on the gridiron. Ron Jaworski isn't afraid to get a little dirty. When Ron Jaworski steps out on the turf, he'll take on anyone. Brian Urlacher? Bring it. Mike Singletary? Ron Jaworski says yes. Patrick Willis? Justin Smith? Ed Reed? Bring 'em on! Small children? Abso-frickin'-lutely!

And let me just tell you one thing, one thing about the legend that is Ron Jaworski, one thing that you simply may not know: When it comes to playing football, he can still enjoy beating the crap out of small children.

Oh, Ron. You're so enthusiastic about stuff. You almost make it too easy.

Now it's up to you, good readers. The photo is there. All you need to do is give it a caption. If you see a caption that makes you laugh, give it a rec. mcwagner and David Fucillo tied last week for the most recs.

I tend to hold myself to a few guidelines when choosing where to go with a new week's Caption This. One of those guidelines is that I don't like posting photos of fans. Notable exceptions included "Blind Refs" around Halloween, because those guys were great, and "Weird Family Sitting on a Dead Lawn Celebrating Big Ben's Wedding" back whenever he got married, because those people deserved it.

Well, this guy deserves it. For one, that hat is a crime. I'm pretty sure it's the hat he's being arrested for, though the official line I saw was "disorderly conduct." For another... well, okay. It's mostly the hat.

I'm also still bitter about that whole "not being in the Super Bowl" thing. So take that random midriff-bearing Giants fan.

Caption away on this one. What's the hidden story behind that arrest? What's the hidden story behind that hat? These are questions that I can't answer, but that your captions may be able to. And if you see a caption that gives you a laugh, give it a rec right back. It's just the right thing to do. Last week, mcwagner took home the most recs.

The truth is, Caption This could probably subsist entirely on photos of people hugging. Take a hypermasculinized environment, mix in a dash of emotional embrace, add cameramen... and bingo: Caption Magic. This photo is no exception. Now, I liked this photo enough to use it in this segment despite the facts that 1) it has Tim Tebow, and 2) it only comes in the small size, and it really serves all of our best interests if I tell you why.

Okay, here's why.

The original caption for this photo--the default, pre-assigned caption--was this (emphasis mine):

Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, right, hugs Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, left, while on the NFL Network set at the Super Bowl XLVI media center Thursday, Feb. 2, 2012, in Indianapolis. The New England Patriots will face the New York Giants in Super Bowl XLVI Feb. 5. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

Now, looking at the photo, let me just get one thing straight here: I am--we are--supposed to believe, based on the evidence, that Cam Newton is the one doing the hugging in this photo? Sometimes you have your suspension of disbelief tested, and sometimes you just plain realize that the reinforced cable suspending your disbelief snapped with that satisfying twang of having a great tension released before you even finished the sentence.

A more appropriate caption might read:

Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, left, lovingly embraces Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, right, while on the NFL Network set at the Super Bowl XLVI media center Thursday, Feb. 2, 2012, in Indianapolis. The New England Patriots will face the New York Giants in Super Bowl XLVI Feb. 5. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

Had this been a scene in a movie, perhaps:

INT: Super Bowl XLVI Media Center.

TIM TEBOW and CAM NEWTON meet at the NFL Network set, after corresponding by e-mail for the last several weeks, swapping football stories and strategies. This correspondence began when the two realized that, as football players, they had things in common. Like how they play football.

CAM NEWTON: Hey man, at the Pro Bowl I decided to try out some of the things you suggested. I completed less than 50% of my passes, just like you said. I made sure that despite my completion percentage, I still had almost 200 yards by the end. And we LOST! What the hell, man? You said it was a sure thing.

TIM TEBOW: BEST FRIEND! HUUUUUUUUUUUUUG!

What do you think? Give us your best captions for this one, and be sure to hand out a rec' if you see one that makes you laugh. The last Caption This, IRONxMIKE took the show with 29 recs, though mrg80 should get honorable mention for his 28 rec performance.

So, I got this idea in one of the last threads to work on figuring out what the All Alphabet teams would be in MLB history. The work is simple: Put together the best team of players whose last names all start with each individual letter of the alphabet. I've started the project here, and will keep it up every now and then when I have the time. In theory, this will end with two 13 team leagues that can square off in the nerdiest corners of this website*.

My criteria were rough, and simple, which is why I need your help finalizing this roster. I looked for two things: Hall of Famers, and 15+ year careers. That leaves out a LOT of good players, but good golly I can't go through each of these guys individually. I had to give myself something.

The problem with the system is that it's bad. The cool thing about the system is that it makes this team perfect for debate. I'll post the roster that I landed using this methodology, and I challenge you to name guys who need to be on there over one of the guys I have--with a justification, of course.

I also tried to keep guys at their most played positions. Shuffling is fun and all, but this seems better to me.

In some cases, your work will be easy. For instance, your argument for Jeremy Accardo over EMPTY RELIEF PITCHING SLOT is airtight. You just won that case. Good for you! In other cases, it will be a lot more interesting. With no further ado, though, here's the preliminary All-A Team. Hall of Famers are marked by a + sign. The rest should be self explanatory. In this case, we were even able to put together a coaching staff. That may not happen every time.

-

C Sandy Alomar

1B Cap Anson +

2B Roberto Alomar +

3B Dick Allen

SS Luke Appling +

LF Moises Alou

CF Richie Ashburn +

RF Hank Aaron +

-

C Brad Ausmus

1B Joe Adcock

OF Earl Averill +

OF Bobby Abreu

MI Luis Aparicio +

MI Rich Aurilia

-

SP (R) Pete Alexander +

SP (L) Wilson Alvarez

SP (R) Babe Adams

SP (L) Johnny Antonelli

SP (R) Red Ames

-

RP (L) Hank Aguirre

RP (R) Larry Andersen

RP (R) Ted Abernathy

RP (R) Pete Appleton

RP

CL (R) Rick Aguilera

-

Manager: Sparky Anderson

Bench Coach: Walter Alston

1B Coach: Cap Anson

-

*According to BBR, there will be no X team. That is going to make scheduling a real pain.

Justin Smith has something to tell you, but the only clue we have as to what is this photo. It's possible that he's telling us about the Subway commercial he plans to film one day, whether or not Subway asks him to or airs it on television. That's the size of his footlong Italian BMT.

Or maybe... or... maybe... something... else is happening in this pict--

Man, Justin Smith is really eyeing that imaginary sandwich, what with it's toasty sourdough roll, variety of meats, and cheese of his choice. Probably Swiss. Justin Smith doesn't strike me as a Provolone man. Too mild. Look at his face, though. He can just about taste it. All 12 inches of cheap, delicious sub. Our mouths are watering just thinking about it.

Or maybe...

Or maybe you can get this Subway image out of your head and improve on my imaginary scenario for this photo. If you can, give it to us in caption form. It's the name of the game. Then, rec' any captions you see that make you laugh. Last time, afrikabamboodle won the most rec's. Will it be you today?

Welcome back to another round of Caption This. Let me tell you, it's always nice when the NFL gives me choices for this thing, and the past week has offered no shortage. Between the hilarity of Ben Roethlisberger getting pwned in Denver and the absurdity of Mark Davis's haircut, it's almost a shame that I even had to choose. But when push came to shove, Hue Jackson just plain made it easy for me. Well, him and almost everyone else in this photo.

Just scan that photo from left to right. It's very important that you start at the far left with Mr. Impressed-But-Not-TOO-Impressed, and then move past the bemused guy straight on to Mr. Pointing-and-Whistling. Then Hue "ANGRYHAPPY" Jackson right on through to Bemused Guy 2. Only then will you make it to The Human Giraffe, before taking a quick and final stop at Couldn't-Be-More-Bored.

The range of emotions and responses in this photo makes me happy. Heck, the range of emotions and responses in Hue Jackson alone makes me happy. Everything else is icing on the cake.

So give this photo a boost by giving it a caption. Fill in those thought bubbles. As for me, I'm pretty sure that the guy all he way on the left is still just thinking about Mark Davis's absurd haircut. If you see a caption you like, give it a rec'. Last week, IRONxMIKE took home the most rec's in glorious fashion. This week, it could be you.

No, this photo is not being used for Caption This because Brandon Lloyd's backside is more successfully elevated than his head. No, this photo is not being for Caption This because of the way the football is innocently poking out between Brandon Lloyd's legs, which are delightfully askew. No, this photo is not being used for Caption This because Brandon Lloyd's legs are delightfully askew.

No, this photo is not being used for Caption This because nobody else on the field is within a dozen yards of Brandon Lloyd, and yet he's still assuming the "it's better than getting tackled" position. No, this photo is not being used because it reminds us of the long history that Rams receivers have with said position. Isaac Bruce and Tory Holt, I'm looking at you.

Yes, this photo is being used for Caption This because of every reason listed, added together. I'm assured that it is not mathematically possible for the sum of those parts to be greater than all of them put together (welcome to the wonderful world of tautology), and yet here we are.

And also the look on his face. That, "I'm down here, guys. Isn't somebody going to come and touch me to end this play? Anybody? Nobody? Guess I'll just wait here, then." That beautiful, irreplaceable look.

Take a second to propose the perfect caption for this photo. If any captions make you chuckle, give them a rec'. The last Caption This rec' winner was EyeBlack22. Have fun.

Welcome back to another week at Caption This, the fat-free Niners Nation segment that gives you the chance to put your own signature flair to the caption of whatever photo I choose. This week, I chose our photo because of the way it makes me think of Mad Libs, as per the headline. The fact of the photo is straightforward enough, though: Drew Brees, apparently deeply apologetic, shakes the hand of Ragnar, destroyer of things, son of Olaff, after systematically dismantling the football team of his people.

But the whole thing just makes me think of what else Drew Brees might apologetically shake the hand of. This year alone, he would have apologetically shaken the hands of no fewer than three wildcats. He would have found a pirate somewhere and said, "Sorry, man." And don't get me started on his long journey through mountain passes to find the world's last remaining giants. That was just excessive.

He seems like such a nice, young man.

As a side note, the guy who plays Ragnar is apparently the current world record holder for speed-shaving with an axe. Or he was, until Drew Brees apologetically smashed his record. And just look at how smooth those cheeks are.

Use the comments section to provide your captions, and give a rec' to any that make you laugh. Last week, Pat Willie got the most rec's. Don't be too apologetic when you take his crown.

This week, let me just say, was not lacking in possibilities for the Caption This. The Jim Harbaugh sideline reaction shots alone are worth... hang on, I need to do the conversions... at 1,000 words a piece, with 1,000 words equaling between 150 and 275 laughs, plus or minus 10% for extreme Harbaugh faces, carry the two... Ah, yes. The Jim Harbaugh sideline reaction shots alone are worth several thousand laughs.

Now, yes, I understand that this is not necessarily the perfect photo for a Caption This. One guy. Smiling. Only so much to do with that. I get it. But, come on. It's Carlton. He magically appeared in my image feed. There was the Jaguars' new mustachioed owner. There was Harbaugh doing something that I assure you was hilarious. And then there was Carlton. My hands were quite literally tied. And while that admittedly made it difficult to set up this thread, I pulled through by learning how to type with my... wait, this is a public forum... let's just say my feet.

As for context, the headline here pretty much says it all. Apparently, this photo of Alfonso Ribeiro was snapped while he was watching the Giants beat the Cowboys last week. And if the fact that this is Carlton means nothing to you, at least the Cowboys losing should.

So give us your captions, and rec' any that make you smile. Last week's thread got a great turnout, and it took a heroic effort from James Brady to take home the most rec's at 14.

The NFL is a regular trendsetting league. I can remember, as a child, doing Merton Hanks's touchdown dance or Ken Norton Jr.'s boxing mime in my spare time, just to be more like my favorite players. Today, these trends go even further: Tebowing has swept the nation - people who don't care about football, who don't even know that Tim Tebow plays football, are getting down on one knee and Tebowing for the camera.

But Tebow isn't the only trendsetter we've seen in the NFL. Let's not forget the lasting impact of former Bears' defensive back Doug Plank.

So in the spirit of trendsetting, I'm here to suggest a new one. We call this Bradying! We've all seen good ol' Tom employ this technique in the middle of a game, but now we finally have proof that he practices it during it week, too! What does this mean for you? Well, everything, of course. Now you can make Bradying a part of your everyday life! Just sit down with your legs out, pretend to cry, and have somebody snap your picture. Slap a little text on the jpeg and post all of your Bradying glory for the entire Internet to see! It may be the greatest trend yet.

Well, this thread is actually for captions. And this photo seems pretty ripe for a few. HOWEVER, if you do take the extra step and post a photo of yourself Bradying, I will rec' the crap out of it. But otherwise, captions are good. And rec's are good, too! Last week's rec' leader was Bigmouth. Enjoy.

While I will admit that it seems only appropriate to devote today's Caption This to some member of the Philadelphia Eagles, I've been attached to this photo of Drew Brees since I saw it earlier in the week. There will always be time for Vince Young and Andy Reid. This photo, though, requires our immediate attention.

The name of the game is context. There are so many things about this photo that don't fit in the football context. The peaceful look on both of their faces. The tender embrace. The guy patting Drew Brees's head. And did I mention the peaceful look on both of their faces?

I like to pretend that this photo is taking place in different contexts. These are two long-lost brothers, reunited on the football field after years apart. They didn't even know that they both played football until this very game. They make Oscar winners that end that way.

That's the one I'm sticking with.

The rest of you have fun. Give us your captions and rec' the ones you like. Last week's rec' winner was InTimmyWeTrust. Will it be you this time?

The first thing I want to say is that I like Anthony Davis. I think he's a fine young man and a talented young player. However, when I looked through the photos from last night's game, I couldn't find him in any of them. Where in the world was Anthony Davis during those plays? The Pentagon is going to get back to me on that one, but I'm not sure even they will be able to give me an adequate answer.

The Ravens' defense was bruising in that game. They made a lot of people look bad, so this isn't a comment on his performance necessarily. A good performance would have looked bad against that defense. But man did he get made to look bad the most. Man. Oh. Oh man oh man did he ever.

It was the kind of abuse that makes me want to do a Caption This! And since I'll be either medicating my cat (not a euphemism, I regret to say - my kitty is allergic to his own teeth) or drinking myself silly (that one was a euphemism) when this post happens to be active, I'll just take a stab at a few pre-emptive captions here in the post. The first, I couldn't help but actually place with the photo. Here are a few others:

The only thing Anthony Davis was blocking last night was Alex Smith from throwing passes.

Not pictured: The brick.

INVISIBLE FROZEN LIGHT POLE.

Pictured above: 49ers' offensive lineman Anthony Davis practices his game face.

So that's the game: Funny captions. Show us yours, and rec' any that give you a chuckle. Last week, LondonNiner reclaimed his crown as the rec' leader. Will it be you this time?

I think my favorite Caption This moments come from photos where I really can't figure out what's going on. Why is Coughlin making that face? Why is he clapping his hands? What is the ref trying to say to him? Why is he being ignored so thoroughly? Why can't that hand be just a few inches lower? Just a few. You know, because a hand on the hip is funnier than a hand on the side. Not because I'm writing NFL fanfiction and need the material. It's for the laughs. I already have all the material I need.

So many unanswered questions. So many possible answers to stand in as captions...

And that's where you come in. This photo needs a caption. You need to give captions to photos. It's a match made in heaven! Use the comments section to do your thing. Rec' any captions that bring a smile to your face. The last rec' winner was tanos135.

I don't know who that guy is, but I can't stop looking at him. I want to be that guy. Heck, I want you to be that guy. I want you to be that guy so I can stand next to you and tell people I stood next to that guy. Then, we can switch roles because you should totally be able to tell people you stood next to that guy, too. That guy is awesome. He is what we all want to be. He is the guy on the sideline watching the play who is anonymous enough to make faces. Oh, to be that guy.

That other guy is less cool. His hat is weird. And his beard looks like Josh Cribbs's hair. We don't want to be him.

Now, I'll segue into my wrap-up by apologizing for last week. I took my bye. I couldn't do anything to avoid it, but being away makes me miss the segment. So here's to hoping I've returned for a good week. Caption the crap out of that guy, and rec' any captions that make you smile. NinerFanTucson won the last go. Will it be you this time?

There has been no shortage of comedy to come out of the Jim Schwartz/Jim Harbaugh scuffle, and we would be missing an opportunity here at Caption This if we didn't squeeze it for just a little more. According to the original caption for this photo, the two were arguing at the time this was taken, but I don't see how that can be true. Jim Harbaugh is obviously astonished by the peculiar talents of an out-of-frame family act. And Jim Schwartz is obviously a little constipated. Between those two obvious facts, there is certainly no argument going on.

And what a strange little picture it is. What is Harbaugh yelling at? What is that face Schwartz is making for? Why are they holding hands? I don't know. I just... I don't....

Okay, so I'm pretty sure about the constipation. At least.

As for the rest, I leave that up to the rest of you to decipher. Give this a few good captions, and rec' any that make you laugh. Last week, Franchise55 took home the most rec's. Enjoy!

It's a fine line bringing Al Davis to the Caption This as a show of respect. There's no getting around the fact that the man, particularly later in life, was the subject of some tremendously frightening photographs. And yet if we are able to approach his late-era persona with humor, it is only because we are able to celebrate the legacy that got him that far. So in that spirit, Caption This will bid the cross-town/state mogul adieu by dipping into that legacy instead of taking the easier shots that would fly in just about any other week.

Now, don't get me wrong: We still get to make fun. That's the whole point. It's how we recognize notoriety here. And in that spirit, I have selected a photo that shows Al Davis looking less like the Cryptkeeper and more like Dick Dastardly (after a shave, with his hat at the cleaner's). Or for those of us who weren't as into Wacky Races as I was as a kid, let's just call him your standard, run-of-the-mill Bond villain there.

So, once more with feeling: Give him Hell, kids. Remember: Somewhere right now he's constantly reliving the thrill of three Super Bowl victories. He's too busy with that to care about a few zingers from way down here.

Give us your funniest captions for this one, and rec' any that make you laugh. Last week, redgolddynasty squeaked by Island Niner for the rec' win. Will it be you this time?

Which is to say, comedy gold. Here's a brief transcript from last Sunday's game, provided with some minor narrative flourish.

We now return to the field of play.

"It's alright," Avant announced, breaking off his route. "I say, Dashon, can you really fly?"

Instead of troubling to answer him, Dashon flew around the field, taking the ball on the way.

"How topping!" said Jackson and Vick.

"How sweet!" cried Henery.

"Yes, I'm sweet, oh, I am sweet!" said Dashon, forgetting his manners again.

It looked delightfully easy, and they tried it first from the three-point stance and then from a standing position, but they always went down instead of up.

"I say, how do you do it?" asked Jackson, rubbing his knee. He was quite a practical wide receiver.

"You just think lovely wonderful thoughts," Dashon explained, "and they lift you up in the air."

He showed them again.

Yes. So, that happened. Totally happened. I pulled that transcript straight out of the gameday audio. If you find it and keep listening, things get really interesting. Totally.

And, if you managed to figure that one out, you now have the added bonus of being able to picture Alex Henery wearing an old-timey girl's nightgown. Yay!

Man, Dashon Goldson jumped really high there. Go ahead and write some captions about it. As usual, rec' any that make you laugh and try like hell to get more rec's than LondonNiner, who will be defending his title again this week.