SB Nation User Blog: ifuwannacrownem

A moment to vent: I don't want these five back here in 2010

ifuwannacrownem — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 22:27:52 -0000

And as I'm writing this, Cutler just got picked off for the third time in the game. Seems like the perfect time to vent. Right in the middle of the biggest asskicking in the Angelovie era.

5. Jerry Angelo- I want to punch the next person in the face that thinks that our O-line is fine. Really? "we like Frank Omiyale" Really? Gaines Adams was a better trade choice than Ernie Sims or Derrick Johnson? I've had enough of you Jerry.

4. Frank Omiyale- Die Frank Die!!!

3. Harry Hiestand- Why doesn't anyone single this guy out? Well I think it's time to right now. Jay Cutler's been beaten up all year, rushing his throws, throwing off his back foot, and forcing passes that aren't there. The Bengals were able to get pressure with four down linemen? All who had injuries???.

And the run blocking? LOOK AT WHAT BENSON'S DOING TO US! WHY COULDN'T HE DO THAT HERE?!?!

2. John Hoke- he was supposed to improve a secondary . hasn't happened. won't happen under Hoke. secondary is still getting beaten like a red-headed stepchild.

1. Ron Turner- Guess what, Dan Pompei? Perception IS reality, you pompous ass! Down 14-0 in the first quarter, Turner wants to call three yard slants to Olsen? HE WANTS TO CALL SCREENS TO FORTE AND CLARK??? no play-action, no nickel and dime throws, no momentum changing plays? That would've made John Shoop ill. I'm done with Turner. Bring in Gruden.

A Moment With Ifuwanna: When Bears Attack

ifuwannacrownem — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:35:20 -0000

The first quarter of the Bears NFL is in the books, ladies and gentlemen. And boy, what a start these Bears have had in 2009. They always say that the first four games of the season determine what to expect from your team. Well, if that's true, then we as Bears fans should expect one of the most interesting season in a long time.

Pro Football Talk (yes, I do like Mike Florio) has the Bears ranked at #7 and pins this rankings jump thanks to Jay Cutler. It's no fluke. In these three victories, Jay Cutler has done more than anybody expected him to do. He's not helping the Bears win games, HE IS winning games. He has picked up the slack of a pedestrian running game, lack of accomplished veteran receivers, and an o-line that just doesn't get it. But let's press on after the jump.

ESPN Pisses Me Off

Last night, I grabbed a four pack of Natty Ice, two cans of Tilt, that white cheddar popcorn in the black bag (you all know which one's I'm talking about) and some Sunny D to go with my vodka. I was gonna have a good time watching MNF against the Packers-Vikings. Needless to say, I went to sleep with nine minutes left in the first half.

The Network just destroyed this game before it even started. I was so disgusted with the Brett Favre lovefest. Seriously, how many times are they gonna show Favre Mic'd talking to Pat Morita up or show one of his ridiculously insignificant stats or his Skelator looking wife, or his monday night game after his father died?

ESPN took a good thing, and dipped it in Favre goo. I will never forget how they ruined the first Monday night game I've been able to watch all season. So screw you ESPN! Screw Stuart Scott and his retarded ebonics, and screw their "experts" who don't have a damn thing to say about Jay Cutler now after blasting him all season long.

I Could Just Imagine

After Knox deciding to drop the ball again before hitting the end zone for the second straight week, I bet the coaches were furious with him. None more than Ron Turner. I could just imagine Ron Turner dragging Knox down Halas hall, bullwhip in hand.

Around the League

JaMarcus Russell is not good at all. Is that such a surprise? He played at LSU.(winks at GeauxBears)

Speaking of the Raiders, they still suck. Think teams will start raiding their locker room for good players?

Cedric Benson is back for the first time in Cincy, ranking 4th in the NFL in rushing yards while averaging 4.4 yards per carry. I remember when I wrote a piece awhile back about the Bears bringing back Benson. That post was met with alot of criticism and laughter. Well, who's laughing now? Hehe. ME!

Another former Bear, Kyle Orton is continuing to shine in a Broncos uni, but I still don't miss him. Too bad though, they just got jinxed.

True story: Ktown and I were shopping at the Goodwill clothing store. Ktown checked the scores on his phone and yells out "Damn. San Fran just shut out the Rams 35-0. They're so good this year, they don't even need Crabtree" There was a tall built guy behind us in the line. He yells "MAN F**K THIS S**T!" and runs out weeping. I swear that guy looked familiar. Anyway an hour later, we hear Crabtree's on a plane heading to San Fran. Jeez, I wonder where he was when he found out about that game.

Stafford>Sanchez. If Stafford went to the Jets, he'd be a league MVP candidate.

If the Bears need a WR by year's end, I'm almost certain we have a chance of getting Braylon Edwards in the offseason. I just hope he's not jealous of the '85 Bears. I wouldn't want him trying to knock out Matt Suey. If he heads to New York, he'll certainly be jealous of the Yankees, and try to knock out Matsui.

Forgot to add the weekly video: Hitler Wanted Cutler in D.C. BAD!!!!

A Moment with Ifuwanna: Training Camp Edition

ifuwannacrownem — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 18:32:51 -0000

I don't know about anyone else, but for me, This marks the start of the 2009 NFL season. so what better wAY TO KICK OFF THE 2009 (Whoops! didn't know I hit the Caps lock. what was I saying? oh yeah) season by sitting up at 1:30 A.m to type some stuff up? By the the way, If ya'll get confused with this post I got three words. Drunk. Last. Night. Well, let's get to it.

Random Pondering (and other things):

Why are we workin the Wildcat? really! How could we stoop so low? You know what I think the wildcat is? Garbage. Hot Garbage. Wrapped in a pancake like pigs in a blanket.

Michael Vick is the NFL's equivalent to that guy you knew in high school who comes up to you like "remember me?" and then asks for a couple dollars for gas, only that his real intentions are to use those two dollars to:

A. finish Paying off his child support

B. buy some bubble gum

C. save enough to change out for a crisp dollar for the strip clubs (yet, he can never save enough)

D. Buy a can of 2-11

Well actually, D comes first and A,B, and C never happen.

Brett Favre's The NFL's equivalent to the high school bimbo. I don't need to elaborate

Gatorades G campaign was done in honor of Zach Bowman. This guy should be a starter week one. There's something special about him. I don't know what, but it's there.

Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch.

Watched Urlacher doing the drills. He looks slow. There's also all this talk by teammates that he's in the best shape of his career. With all the steroid issues out there, it would be best to quell that talk right now.

Obviously, Lovie still hasn't solved the issue a safety. If he thinks rotating Manning and Steltz at FS is a good solution, it's making the situation worse. Not only is he hindering Seltz's progress, he's also confusing Manning even further.

Kia Forte or Sony Visio? I'm at the crossroads right now. Let me hear what ya'll think

No interesting moments at my job this week, besides the hillbilly who called me sugarlips (god, I hate the south)

Ifuwanna's Bear Of the Week

Chris Zorich will always be my first favorite Bear. A very underrated player, Zorich to me, is the last great Bear who was a native of Illinois. A Standout at Notre Dame and a pro bowler in the 1993 season, Zorich was a true predecessor of a three technique DT. He was enshrined in the College Football Hall of fame last year. Here's to you, Chris Zorich, my Bear of the week.

Video of the Week

Johnny Knox. My pick for offensive rookie of the year.

Making Noise

Allie, who has been doing swell job of keeping us updated with the tweets. Good work, HalfBlind!

Keeping Quiet

Haightminow. We're preparing for battle! Where is our fearless leader?

Kay guys. stay tuned next week when we march towards Buffalo to battle Terrell Owens, Marcus Stroud and the Bills.

A Moment With Ifuwanna: Back by popular demand

ifuwannacrownem — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:38:18 -0000

So I was looking at a few comments and noticed a few wanting my segment to make a return. So here It is. New topics such as my interesting encounters at my job will be included. I will also address the member I think is making noise around WCG, and those who've been too quiet lately. And lastly, my Bear of the Week, a current or former Bears player who gets their time in the Limelight.

Anyways, let's get to it.

Random Pondering

Is it me, or does Brett Favre's recent villainous actions remind you of Stone Cold Steve Austin's heel turn at Wrestlemania?

Derrick Mason's retirement is being called one big bluff by Mike Florio. If that's what it really is, can Mason be the Favre to the Bears' Jets?

Big Ben is the subject in what is about to become a very ugly series of events that might spill into the regular season. He's been accused of sexually assaulting a casino attendant in Reno. The Madden curse seems to have stuck early, hmmmmm? Seriously though, I don't like the guy, but I still can't see him raping a woman.

Has Glenn Earl been cut yet?

Instead of cutting Adrian Peterson, why don't we convert him to fullback? I'm being serious.

Does anybody really think Vick is still "NFL good"? Seriously? (put your hand down, Gesiakob)

If I have sex with my night manager while on shift, then tell my boss she told me to have sex with me, and I have to always listen to my managers, you think I could get a promotion?

Interesting Encounter at my job

A man was wearing a Brett Favre TD record breaking shirt. By his accent and his wildly unkempt hair, I could tell he was a native Wisconsin resident. I told him that as a Bears fan, I'm just sitting back and watching it all go down. He said that as a lifelong Packers fan, he's lost all respect for Brett. He also said if he does join the Vikings, the Packers will never retire his jersey.

Sheesh! Never? That's the same chance that apples will grow on my mango tree. I'm sorry, but no way does Green Bay not retire that man's number. He almost single handedly brought the NFL's greatest franchise (I should hang myself for typing that) out of the dark ages and became one of the most recognizable athletes in the last quarter century. Now, If he joined the Bears...

Ifuwanna's Bear of the week

I have no clue why this man is not talked about more amongst Bears fans and the NFL in general, but Willie Thrower is a true football trailblazer. The first African-American Quarterback, Willie never became a star, or even became a full-time starter, but a black quarterback was an oddity, especially for his time. The league wouldn't see another black QB for 15 years. Here's to you Willie, my first ever Bear of The Week. For more information on Thrower, visit Williethepro.com.

Making noise

Gesiakob. Say what you want about him, but he's earned my respect by putting out a new FP every day. His unorthodox presentations keep me reading, even if I've read the topic before. Keep up the good work, Gesiakob.

Being Quiet

Tempchad. Where the Hell is Tempchad? I need more "Carry my bags rook!"

Thanks for reading, everyone. see you next week.

Editor's note: You can read previous installments of this series here and here. Both links pop like corn.

I want everybody to listen to this song every day for the next two months. I know some of you are...

ifuwannacrownem — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 11:18:35 -0000

I want everybody to listen to this song every day for the next two months.

I know some of you are familiar with this tune...

Jay Cutler: "I'm 100 percent happy with what we have."

ifuwannacrownem — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:57:25 -0000

with all the offseason talk of who will be catching passes from Bears QB Jay Cutler beginning week one in Green Bay, we have yet to hear any word from Cutler himself... until now. From a David Haugh article out of the Chicago Tribune, Jay Cutler spoke to reporters after OTA's today. He answered questions about his current wideouts on the roster and two receivers rumored to be on the radar in Halas Hall.

On current Bears WRs

"We have everything we need out there," Cutler said. "We're going to be more than fine out there. I'm 100 percent comfortable. I think we have more than enough to compete."

On Brandon Marshall

"He's a great player [and] I played with him for three years and put up some big numbers with him. Wherever he ends up, I'm sure he's going to be successful," Cutler said. "Whether or not it's here, it's up to the guys upstairs. As of right now, I'm 100 percent happy with what we have."

On the possibility of Burress joining the Bears

"If it happens, it happens," Cutler said of Burress. "I'm not going to speculate whether we're going to get him or not. The guys that we have right now I'm 100 percent confident in and comfortable with."

he also reiterated that he feels Devin Hester is a true number one receiver. this is my take on it. I don't think that Cutler is just giving the media the same old Lovieisms just to pacify the masses. I really do think that he likes what he has right now. And, his comments toward Marshall weren't really glowing with hope and enthusiasm.

What do you guy's and gals think?

Every Time You Post, I Think You Look Like...

ifuwannacrownem — Sun, 24 May 2009 17:33:49 -0000

It's the offseason, and there's nothing else to do...

I've been on this site for a few months now, and from time to time I have this habit of making mental pictures of what most of you might look like. with that said, I'm gonna drop a few that come to my mind more vividly. Sorry GG, HoneyBear, and windycity. I know what ya'll look like :( But play along anyway!

some of them might be off the wall, but worry not. It's all from the twisted skull of yours truly... If anyone else want's in on the fun, drop a few in the comments below, just a couple rules...

1. try not to be crude

2. don't post NSFW material

3. have fun

we'll start off with Da Boss. WCG, I think he looks like Glenn Howerton of It's always sunny in Philadelphia fame

ChiFan looks like Seth Rogan

GeauxBears looks like a real life Pat the Patriot, complete with the outfit(Just don't know why)

Spongie looks like Simon Pegg(yes, because you're from the U.K :} )

Scespy is Jerry Jones

SackMan, Definitely Gordon Freeman from Half-Life

Haight is Kevin Sorbo...just kidding he's Mike Epps

GeoMak is Keith Olbermann something you all can relate to

Tempchad is tazz

Halfblind is Helena Bonham Carter ala Marla Singer from Fight Club

Chitownproduct is Master P

Acreman is Sonny Bono

Ditkavsworld is who else

and lastly, No It All is Stacy King

these are the ones I can remember at the moment, for those feeling left out, don't worry, I have a face for you too :)

Breaking News: Pisa Tinoisamoa to visit Bears!!!

ifuwannacrownem — Wed, 20 May 2009 01:46:06 -0000

Per source of PFT Former St.Louis Rams linebacker Pisa(not Pino) Tinoisamoa will be flying to Halas Hall to visit Coach Lovie Smith and the Chicago Bears.

While only 6"0' tall, Pisa is a great tackler who has experience at both outside Linebacker positions and has led the Rams in total tackles four seasons. Pisa is familiar with Smith, who was his defensive coordinator while in St. Louis.

OK I see it like this; the Bills, or the Bears. which team do you think he's gonna end up signing with? A fourth place AFC East team with a locker room cancer in T.O. who have no relativity as far as playoffs are concerned, Or a team that has made the most noise so far in the offseason?

One things for sure. As soon as he signs(with the right team of course) I'l be shouting "PISA PISA!!!"

Just When You Thought It Was Over...Brett says NAH UH!

ifuwannacrownem — Fri, 08 May 2009 20:46:38 -0000

NFL Networks Scott Hanson has refuted reports by Yahoo Sports reporter Rick Schwartz that Brett Favre has decided to stay retired. Hanson has countered that Favre has not ruled out retirement and that he has actually had conversations with Vikings head coach Brad Childress.

Form what we(as in the whole planet) knows, Favre has not came out publicly to relay his future plans, which in essence, means he's more likely to play in 2009.

And that's just the point. This IS NOT a matter of "mulling it over". If Favre wanted to stay retired, He would have came out and said so long before the rumors blew out of proportion. This is clearly a case of a man with an inflated sense of purpose trying to be the highlight of one of the most suspenseful offseasons in recent memory.

Word of advice: Until he says otherwise, Expect Brett Favre to suit up for the '09 season.

UPDATE: Favre has sent his shoulder X-Rays to the Vikings

Breaking News: William Perry Hospitalized. Listed in Serious Condition

ifuwannacrownem — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:43:20 -0000

From WSPA.com's Clemson sports page

PETE YANITY
NEWS CHANNEL 7 SPORTS
Published: April 21, 2009

Former Clemson and NFL defensive lineman William "The Refrigerator Perry" is listed in serious condition in an Aiken-area hospital after suffering from symptoms from a chronic illness.

A relative says the 46-year-old Perry is expected to recover.

Perry was a star on Clemson’s defensive line from 1981 to 1984 then gained fame with the Bears and played on both sides of the ball in his rookie season, a year in which they won their only Super Bowl.

Please keep the fridge in your thoughts and prayers. Anybody who is a Bears fan knows his place in Chicago sports lore.