Game six of the World Series got postponed due to rain, so I needed something to do tonight. So, I decided to go on Omegle and see what they think about the World Series and rain.

 

 

When it rains, you fuck bitches.

via i44.tinypic.com

 

Technology Thief.

via i44.tinypic.com

 

An actual baseball fan! Bet he visits Lookout Landing. (Click the picture so you can actually read it.)

via i39.tinypic.com

 

What a bitch.

via i40.tinypic.com

 

I'm just saying...

via i40.tinypic.com

 

 

Bono is a douche.

via i40.tinypic.com

The Angels are two and half games back and some people are starting to worry. Why? Why are you worried? We have been leading the division for a while now and the Angels really haven’t gained that much ground. We went to the World Series last year, we run this division now. It’s time to get fired up!

So, I went to Omegle for some help…

 

First, I asked for some songs to get us pumped up.

 

via i54.tinypic.com

 

via i55.tinypic.com

 

 

Now it's time for some inspirational quotes, pumpedness and a confusing speech!

 

via i53.tinypic.com

 

via i52.tinypic.com

 

 

 

 

via i55.tinypic.com

via i53.tinypic.com

 

 

 

Omegle always delivers. I'll end this motivational fanpost with the songs Omegle suggested.

 

avenged sevenfold almost easy with lyrics (via turleyere2k8)

 

The Ready Set - Love Like Woe [Official Lyric Video] (via thereadyset)

It's late and I can't sleep. I can't sleep, because something has been on my mind. This question has been dragging me down for weeks. The question is, "Which sport does Omegle prefer? Baseball or Football?"

 

Well, I went on there and tried to find out. Here are the results of my somewhat brief survey.

Nothing wrong with a solid 4

via i55.tinypic.com

 

 

I'll take it.

via i54.tinypic.com

 

 

He wanted no part of the survey.

via i55.tinypic.com

 

Hawt.

via i53.tinypic.com

 

Poof

via i56.tinypic.com

 

 

 

Now it's time for football

via i52.tinypic.com

 

 

The nerve....

via i51.tinypic.com

 

SSS

via i52.tinypic.com

 

I got sidetracked.

 

via i55.tinypic.com

 

Point proven.

via i51.tinypic.com

 

I think it's clear. Omegle enjoys baseball and pussy!

 

 

 

I decided to see if Omegle was excited for the Rangers opening day and they weren't at all. I don't know what it is about them but they act as if baseball isn't life! They need to get right with the world and embrace baseball if they want to go anywhere in life.

 

 

via i51.tinypic.com

 

 

 

 

via i54.tinypic.com

via i52.tinypic.com

 

via i55.tinypic.com

via i56.tinypic.com

 

via i56.tinypic.com

via i54.tinypic.com

 

via i55.tinypic.com

via i55.tinypic.com

Well, go Rangers....I guess. If you want to root for them.

When you first came on the team and you were cool and "leadery" I was like

 

via media.tumblr.com

 

Then you became a super leader and led our sucky ass teams to be a little bit less sucky. I loved you.

 

via media.tumblr.com

 

Dude! You even were MVP of an all-star game. When you hit that triple I was like

 

 

via media.tumblr.com

 

But then you changed man. Everyone was all "Leader this" and "Leader that" and it grew a bit tiresome.

 

via media.tumblr.com

 

Then...you even asked for a trade!

 

via media.tumblr.com

 

But then you got over it and we went to the World Series!

 

via media.tumblr.com

BUT FUCKING NOW YOU ASK TO BE TRADED AGAIN!  LEAD ME TO A FUCKING TRADE!

 

via media.tumblr.com

 

Then the you came at our fine GM and I was like

 

via media.tumblr.com

 

But whatever man it's cool, whatever. Haters gonna hate.

 

via media.tumblr.com

So I figure it's about time to figure out who is the best person on this website. How? Well I'll tell you how and next time raise your hand when you want to ask something. Anyways there will be a series of tasks you need to finish, post your final scores in a comment and who ever has the best scores....wins something. First you'll need to take the typing test, click on one minute and "rules of baseball" so everyone does the same test and post your wpm score. After that play a game of who wants to be a millionaire now don't cheat and keep playing to get a high score. Post your first score. Then the finally leg of the race play deal or no deal post the amount of money you win. Again the first time you play it.

 

So there it is. Here are my results.

 

71wpm.

 

$32,000

 

$250,000

 

 

 

Good luck.

So since Lee still hasn't signed and I've been getting a little antsy I decided to ask Omegle what they thought. They have certainly calmed my nerves. I mean I was worried but Omegle has spoken and well see for yourself what they had to say.

 

via i54.tinypic.com

 

via i56.tinypic.com

 

via i51.tinypic.com

 

via i55.tinypic.com

via i51.tinypic.com

 

 

via i56.tinypic.com

 

via i56.tinypic.com

 

via i51.tinypic.com

 

 

 

 

The Rangers it is. No need to worry anymore folks.

via i53.tinypic.com

Well he basically asked me to do it. So I'm going to write a fanpost about my pic. It's of the Electrician. Who of course is not on the team anymore, which I think makes us all sad. Not only was he an awesome picture but he put the "off" in walkoff because there was certainly something off about the faces he was making. Let's be honest here, he looks fucking scary. He looks like he's going to grab an apple and hold it to his mouth for awhile teasing it. Opening his mouth a few times like he's going to bite into it, but never does. Then after a few minutes he fucking kicks the apple 50 yards and it hits some kid in the head. The kid is alright aside from a little bump but get this the kid never eats fruits again. Which leads to bad health and he ends up having a short life, thanks to the fucking Electrician. He's so insane that I needed someone to come to my house and look at my lights and naturally I flip open the phonebook, guess what? His picture was on the Electrician page. It scared me so much that I fell over backwards in my chair and landed on a straw. The straw got stuck in my lower back and now everywhere I go people think I have a tail. All thanks to the fucking Electrician.

 

He's dangerous. One of my buddies said he was going to the restroom one day and he started to feel horny so he pulled out his playboy, and found this picture.

 

via i55.tinypic.com

It scared the fuck out of him. It scared him so much that he ran outside with his pants undone and his semi-hard dick sticking out. He tripped over something and his dick landed right in an ant pile, and wouldn't you know it 500 ants started munching on that thing. He has a rash that hasn't left since, sadly no girl believes his "ant" story. The Electrician is fucking insane. After all that you'd think there couldn't be more, right? It's not the case. There is something even more insane. The Electrician told me the Rangers were going to the world series this year.

 

The Electrician is fucking insane.

via nimg.sulekha.com

 

 

Fuck you. Fuck you Price. We came to your ballpark and fucking dominated you for two games, and we were somewhat respectful to your awful crowd. Then you come to our ballpark and yeah you win two games. You wanna mock our fans, though? Maybe you weren't mocking. Maybe you just felt bad that you and your fans don't have that same connection. I mean if your fans wanted to do the claw and antlers, they'd need to get over that arthritis they got. Most of them don't even know they're at a baseball game. The bus just took them to your stadium because the bingo house was full. B 07 does not get you the blackout on your card. It's just your starting pitcher who is starting the game. Maybe you could do a new thing with him, you know instead of stealing ours. Maybe you could do the cane tip. Here is an illustration.

 

 

 

via www.theblazingcenter.com

 

 

As you see you just kind of point your cane to the field. Used for when someone gets a good hit or something. Which won't happen much considering Cliff Lee is on the mound for us. I didn't believe we could win this game, but this has got me fired up. Looking through google pictures and seeing every idiotic face Price gives, and their manager who thinks he's in the beatles. I know their fans will say "Get off our lawn" to our rangers, but the fact is they can't! It's not even a fucking lawn. So get ready Yankees the Rangers are coming for you, antlers and all.

 

 

As you all know or most Jim Knox took a tumble over the weekend, and well let's just say it took off on youtube. Being the third most viewed youtube video of today. So I thought "there has to be some great youtube comments" I took some time to go through, and pick out the best.

 

 

JIM GOT KNOX'D OVER

 

- w4arrior94

hahahahhaha fucking rednecks

-berlin45ers



that guy always gets fucked up youtube the video of him a kstate

- snoid88



this...is...gay

- jymz213

 

OH MY FUCKING GOD HE GOT LEVELED!

With a heel trip...shut the fuck up...if you dont suck balls you dont need to name your video stupid shit. Just say the fucker got tripped.

 

- rdrakken

 

 

The fat fuck who larded Knox to the turf should get the Golden Corral award for best use of 50 extra pounds of frat boy.

 

- Sierra688

 

That poor bison. He was obviously not enjoying himself at all. I know I wouldn't be happy if I got thrown into a crowd of screaming and shouting people (who probably are monsters from the bison's viewpoint), with all these belts strapped across my body, being forced to run around like that. Man's indifference to the lives of his fellow man and beast never ceases to appall me. Will we ever learn? It's no wonder our planet is dying...

- missbatman

 

I would love to watch MissBatman run through a screaming crowd with belts and men strapped to her. Now THAT'S entertainment.

 

- Dubbybongrips

 

Now let's enjoy these Knox highlights. Once again Knox we love you. The playoffs will surely miss you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

via i777.photobucket.com

via i777.photobucket.com

Thanks to goET for the gifs and Knox for the laughs.

Texas Rangers games are fun to watch for many reasons. A lot has to do with the team, and how they play. They play like a bunch of kids, and you hear that get thrown around a lot. "They're like kids out there, bob" well it's true when it comes to them. When they get to first on a hit the first thing they do is a claw. Not look at the third base coach for  signs, no. They do the claw, and if you watch the games maybe they should be looking at the third base coach a little more. Anyways the point is the Texas Rangers are fun to watch, but not all because of the team. A big part of that is the announcers that call the game, and the Texas Rangers have the best in the business. To me it's not even close, because they get it. Josh is the only announcer who can make you get excited about a pop-fly to right. You've been watching the game for years and you know that ball is in no way going over the fence, yet you get excited because he is excited. When his true brilliance shines is when an actual exciting play is going on. The Molina triple for instance. That call may be one of the greatest of the year, and it's all because of how Josh and Tom announce the game in a fun exciting way. They act how all fans would react in that moment. We were all screaming at our tvs "RUN BENGIE GO GET THERE"

 

Not only is he exciting, but Josh is a funny dude. A lot of people hate on his jokes not me, though. I love them. The game wouldn't be the same without them. They find stuff during the game that no other announcing crew would, and it makes the games that much more enjoyable. If the rangers are losing 10-1 in the bottom of the 7th, and you're thinking "Why am I still watching?" then Josh and Tom go on some tangent about how Tagdon'ttweet and you find yourself laughing. Your team is getting their ass whipped, but you're laughing. It's because of Josh and Tom. The way Tom will just leave Josh hanging after one of his jokes that don't go over is just amazing. The awkward silence for 15 seconds followed by Tom changing the subject to cookies, and thanking everyone who brought them to the booth. They go together like Neftali Feliz and strikeouts. Like Josh Hamilton, and baseball. Like Ron Washington, and awesome sound bites. You can make a highlight reel after the season of all their brilliant moments, and make it into an hour special. I'd watch every minute of it. When you hear "Ballgame!" you know the rangers just won, and you know you're sleeping easy that night. When you hear "And we go to Jim Knox" you know something very awkward is about to happen, and you'll get to hear Tom's laugh.

 

They're the best crew in baseball, and there is no doubt in my mind about that. You have the greats like Vin Scully, of course. Still If I had the choice I would choose Tom, and Josh over anybody in the game. I can't wait till Josh yells "ballgame!" followed by "and the rangers clench the west!"

 

 

Thank you Josh, and Tom. Thank you for making baseball even more enjoyable than it already is.

 

"He couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat"

 

- Tom Grieve.

So here is the video of the press conference that happened a little after 12 am. August 4th and 5th was filled with so many highs and lows. It was unbelievable how the process was going down, and I never thought I'd be so into a freaking bankruptcy hearing. I followed pretty much all day which says two things about me. I don't have much of a life, and I love the Texas Rangers. Both of which I will admit to very proudly. Congrats to Nolan and Chuck, and no hard feelings towards Cuban.

 

Of course though. Fuck Tom Hicks.

 

 

Greenberg wins! (via iorange55)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: Hello.

You: Pleasure to meet you.

You: My Name is Elvis.

Stranger: same to you

Stranger: a rather unique name

You: No not elvis presley.

You: I make joke

You: It really is Elvis, though.

You: What's your name?

Stranger: owen

Stranger: not quite as interesting a name lol

You: Like the actor with the weird nose!

Stranger: oh, owen wilson?

You: Yes!

You: Check this out man

You: The other day

You: I dyed my hair gold.

You: And I think it was a mistake

You: But I can't get it out.

Stranger: hmm, ive never used hair dye, so not sure how that can be resolved

You: I could cut off my hair, but if you knew me you would know that wouldn't be good. Although I'd get girls either way.

You: I have an accent.

Stranger: lucky you :P

You: It's easy.

You: You're telling me.

You: Anyways I got to check out. I'm going to buy new kicks.

You have disconnected.

 

 

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Katy Perry?

You: I got back-up ho's hotter than her

Stranger: Shakira?

You: No way out of my league.

Stranger: Beyonce?

You: She's married. Don't you respect the laws of marriage?

You: AHAHHAHAAH

You: Kidding

You: I don't.

You: I've slept with more cougars than a Mountain Lion.

Stranger: cameron diaz?

You: Her tits are as small as

You: something that is small.

You: I hold balls in my hands for a living.

You: I need some non-gay fun things to squeeze on to at night.

Stranger: miley cyrus

You: Ask me next year.

Stranger: lol

You: Aye man  I got one for you.

Stranger: ok

You: Hilary Clinton?

Stranger: joe jonas

You: No I have limits. If i'm going to gay.

You: I'd take all the Jonas brothers in some huge orgy.

You: Just one wouldn't do it.

You: When I do it.

You: I do it big.

You: Just ask your mom.

You: Aye man I gotta check out. ttyl.

You have disconnected.

 

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hii

Stranger: asl?

You: Aye I'm Elvis. 21/m/tx

Stranger: patrice f 19 us

You: So

You: That's a beautiful name

You: Let me ask you something

You: I know this girl.

Stranger: k

You: And she's really special to me. I want to do something nice for her, but I don't know what. She's always been there for me.

Stranger: nd thank u

You: She deserves something.

You: It's my mom I might as well say. She's just really amazing.

Stranger: what does she like

You: She likes to collect salt shakers

Stranger: alright

Stranger: buy her some

You: But I'm thinking

You: I could bedazzle a regular salt shaker

You: Kind of homemade

Stranger: orsend her on a tri[

Stranger: ya

Stranger: u can

You: Yeah. That's what I'll do.

You: Thanks for the help.

Stranger: k question r u gay? no offense but bedazzle

Stranger: no problem

You: Oh no. I like woman. I get that a lot though. I'm sweet to my mom, and my hair is dyed gold.

You: I'm not gay, though.

Stranger: kewl ur just like my X boyfriend i dumpted his ass for cheatin

Stranger: but u seem nice

You: I tell you what this is what my mom told me.

You: "Cheaters never win"

Stranger: yea thts true well my uncle slept around for a year on his 1st wife then 3 month on his second nd got her preg

Stranger: my fams exotic

You: He had it coming. I respect the laws of marriage.

Stranger: yea so will i some day

You: Check it though. I gotta go. You keep staying sweet, okay? Okay. ;]

You have disconnected.

 

 

Michael Young

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hey.

Stranger: Horny f?

You: Me?

Stranger: Yes

You: No. What is your problem?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hey.

Stranger: 아 시발 쪽팔려디지겠네

Stranger: hi

You: Fuck you Colby Just because you were in fucking Japan doesn't mean you can show off your knowledge.

Stranger: asshole !

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: asl?

You: What is that?

Stranger: age/ sex/location

You: Why do you want to know my age?

Stranger: why wouldnt i?

You: Well I don't know you.

You: You're asking me questions.

You: Do you know who you're talking to?

You: I'm michael

You: Mike

You: Mikey

You: The mikster

You: Mike and ike

You: Mike the gold glover

You: Mikeintosh

Stranger: mike the douche bag? yup.

You: Mike is not a dyke

You: Hey

You: You listen to me

You: When you're a fucking great person like I am

You: Then come talk to me

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

 

 

Ian Kinsler

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hey

Stranger: hey

Stranger: asl?

Stranger: girl horny?

Stranger: hey

Stranger: r u

Stranger: ??????????

You: My wife hasn't been horny since we had our kid. Why do you think I've had so many errors?

Stranger: haha

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: IM A UNICORN.

You: NO YOU'RE NOT.

You: Fucking kids.

Stranger: yes i am

Stranger: im 18

You: And you think you're a unicorn?

You: Get a grip.

You: I live in a fuckign rich neighborhood. Drive a nice car.

Stranger: umm i am

You: And i'm only 27

You: what are you doing with your life?

Stranger: ummm im livin a unicorn life?

You: Do you have a horn?

Stranger: yes..

You: Is there one or two?

Stranger: 1

You: That was a trick question.

You: Cause you have none.

You: Oh burn.

Stranger: it was

Stranger: i do have 1

You: Yeah and I have more than one homerun this year.

Stranger: i play pop ball

You: That's all I hit is pop-ups.

You: I'm like a fucking childrens book.

Stranger: YOU ARE A MEANY BUM

You: You're a fantasy.

Stranger: I know.

You: Best of luck to you.

You have disconnected.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: heya

You: Hey

You: My name is Ian.

Stranger: nice to meet you, Ian

Stranger: I'm Ryan

You: I have a friend named Ryan

You: can I ask you something?

Stranger: go for it

You: Do you think i'm a snob?

Stranger: how the hell would I know?

Stranger: we've exchanged 2 sentences

You: Wow get off your high horse captain hank.

You: I'm having a emotional breakdown.

Stranger: what for, kid?

You: I can't hit the ball the other way

You: I pull everything

Stranger: um...

You: Even push-in doors.

You: I play baseball

Stranger: ah

You: Perv.

You have disconnected.

 

 

C.J. Wilson

 

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: two girls here

Stranger: kate 17 f

Stranger: and Amy 19 f

Stranger: do you want to see us on cam?

Stranger: http://doiop.com/girls69

Stranger: go to that link and click chat

You: You're degrading yourselves as women.

You have disconnected.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hey my name is C.J.

Stranger: my name is cs

Stranger: asl

You: 29/m/us.

You: May I ask you something

Stranger: ??

You: Do you drink?

Stranger: noooooooooo

You: Awesome

You: See

You: I live a straight-edge lifestyle

You: You hear of it?

Stranger: never heard of it

You: No alcohol. No drugs. No sleeping around.

You: It's all about living a clean poison free life.

Stranger: it's a nice life

You: Yeah. I look down on people who live otherwise.

You: It's hard not to.

You: I see bums on the street

You: chugging down a 40

You: Fucking losers.

Stranger: haha

Stranger: i dislike them too

You: They're living on a fucking highway and they're drinking! It's like if I went to a door

You: And just walked right into it over and over

You: Morons.

You: Ever watch lost?

Stranger: no

You: I'm obsessed with it.

Stranger: what do u do now?

You: Play baseball. And read over old scripts.

Stranger: u like history?

You: Twitter it up with my tweeps.

You: I love anything that makes me smarter than you.

Stranger: like what?

You: Politics.

Stranger: n?

You: Lib.

Stranger: lib?

You have disconnected.

 

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: horny?

You: No I'm straight-edged.

You: We don't get horny till we're in a relationship.

Stranger: haha! witty response. xD

You: You should think about changing your lifestyle. You can get STD's not to mention aids.

You: If you're gay its more of a risk. If you're gay you're already a problem, though.

Stranger: how do you know this is my lifestyle? what if i'm just playing a prank on people?

You: You could be.

You: If that's the case

You: I apologize and applaud your effort to make fun of those below us.

Stranger: lol, thanks

You: No problem.

You: Do you watch lost?

Stranger: arg, i've seen only the first couple eps (my friend forced me too). my friend generally explains the rest of the plot to me tho

You: I'm obsessed with it.

You: Besides baseball and making fun of people. It's my life.

Stranger: oh, can i send you a video someone made of it then? :D

You: Sure.

You: It'll probably suck, but sure.

You have disconnected.

 

 

 

The argument has been on here for years it has seem. Is the ballpark too far from any major cities like Dallas? The answer is an outstanding yes. Before the ballpark was built I never went out of the Dallas county line. Heck I didn't even know there was a county 10 minutes from me. It turns out there is, and it's called tarrant county. The ballpark is in tarrant county. Yeah not even in the same county as me. So I went to mapquest to see the distance between Dallas, and Arlington. 21 fucking miles, and 29 minutes to get there. Can you believe that shit? With traffic its probably at least 45 minutes and that is if you don't get stuck behind one of those tractors that drive on the road. Fuck you farmer john drive on the fucking grass like your tractor was made for. Fucking rednecks.

 

 

You know from Arlington I can't even see any high rise buildings! None! How the fuck am I supposed to know which way is north, and which way is south? You know what else? I can breathe out there without inhaling a plume of smoke! Fucking shit. The first day I went to the ballpark I got lost for an hour, and ended up in some city called Burleson. I was the only one there who had A/C in their car. I tried to ask for directions and they had no fucking idea what I was asking. Sorry I don't sound like a country redneck. I actually use words like direction, and juxtaposition. Finally some guy came around who was also lost, and we finally figured out how to get there. Not before seeing way too many muffin tops, and asscracks. I did an actual drawing of how far the ballpark is from Dallas.

 

via i48.tinypic.com

 

As you can see galaxy travel is required. I don't know about you, but I don't want to have to fire up my spaceship just to get to the game. They have to do something about this. It's just a matter of fact they are losing business, and not only that they're embarrassing themselves with the far out rednecks that neighbor the ballpark. I don't expect any changes because they probably don't get internet at the ballpark, but if someone could mail this to them it'd be greatly appreciated.

 

 

Thanks for your time, Sincerely a concerned city fan.

I wanted to start my own Texas Rangers campaign, and try to get people to root for them. I don't own a bullhorn so I couldn't go around town talking loudly, and plus most people living around Dallas are probably already Texas Rangers fan. So I thought how could I try to get more people to root for The Rangers all around the world! So I thought about omegle it's a website where you are instantly connected to random strangers all around the world, and you chat with them. So I did just that trying to pimp the Rangers, and well as we all know. Pimpin' ain't easy. Here are the results.

 

 

He likes girls

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: What up. You like baseball?
Stranger: hi
Stranger: no
You: why?
Stranger: m/f
Stranger: i like girls
You: m
You: so you like softball, then?
Stranger: ya
You: they're the same thing.
Stranger: ohhhhhhh
You: Would you be interested in rooting for the Texas Rangers this year?
You: They could use your support
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Failed attempt.

 

Dutch Oven

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: What up. You like baseball?
Stranger: yeah i played it for 3 years
You: Oh, straight?
You: What position?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: 3rd base
You: Hot corner.
You: Texas Rangers, you know them?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: yes
You: My favorite team.
You: Going all the way this year.
Stranger: im for the indians
You: Yeah. That Grady dude
You: he's pretty hot.
You: I mean good
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: are you from taxas?
You: Yeah.
You: You from ohio?
Stranger: no from the netherlands
You: Oh wow.
You: Good bobsledding team.
Stranger: yeah and baseball
Stranger: weve got some dutch players over there
You: Any make it to the MLB?
Stranger: some i belive
Stranger: thre's one dutch guy for the yankees
You: Damn Yankees.
You: We have this one guy
You: Named Derrek Holland.
You: We call him the Dutch Oven.
Stranger: oven means stove
You: Tomato means tomado.
Stranger: tomaat
You: So if the indians don't make it to the playoffs. will you root for the rangers?
Stranger: ofcourse
You: Thanks man! Pleasure talking to you. Bye.
You have disconnected.

Success.

Hank fucking Blalock.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: What up. you like baseball?
Stranger: hi...yeah i do
You: Sweet. Texas Rangers are my favorite team
Stranger: Tampa Bay
You: Ah! They're cool.
You: Y'all have Hank Blalock now
You: He's gonna have a lot of injuries. Just a warning
Stranger: yeh
You: He gets hurt more than an episode of Americas Funniest home videos.
Stranger: great first baseman tho
You: He's better at third.
You: He gets hurt so much though he had to be moved somewhere we didn't have to move.
You: Anyways though before I go
You: if the rays don't make the playoffs. Will you root for the rangers?
Stranger: D'backs im afraid..
You: Fine. :{ you've made me sad. At least think about it though. Goodbye.
Stranger: lol i will, bye
You have disconnected.

Failed?

 

Perv

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hot girl?
You: Where?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Success.

Angry American

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: What up. You like baseball?
Stranger: No. it's a stupid american sport.
You: What? People play it all over the world.
Stranger: no they dont. where?
You: Mexico, Canada, Brazil, Netherlands.
Stranger: but it's still an american sport.
You: So you don't like America?
Stranger: no, and I am in american. i live in europe now.
Stranger: its better here.
You: It's not so bad here.
Stranger: yeah it is. all you here is stupid sterotypes and stuff from there. and the media i see on here. on digg, and fark.
You: That's just the media. There are good people here. There is bad people here, but there is bad people everywhere.
Stranger: Well I've tasted the life in europe, and it's better.
Stranger: do you drink?
You: No.
Stranger: whatever.
You: Seriously.
Stranger: well you have to be 21 there to buy a drink. stupid.
You: So you're saying that europe is better because you get to buy drinks at a younger age?
Stranger: no just an example of laws.
You: Well anyways. If you did like baseball you'd root for the Rangers right?
Stranger: i just know the mets and yankees.
You: I'll take that as a yes. Bye.
Stranger: well then.
Stranger: bye I guess.
You have disconnected.

Failed attempt.

 

Woo!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: What up. You like baseball?
Stranger: mm
Stranger: not really
Stranger: :(
You: darn :[
Stranger: sorry!
You: but if you did
You: you'd root for the rangers, right?
Stranger: um sure
Stranger: of course
You: SWEET!
Stranger: hahah
You: thank you best friend.
Stranger: mmhmm
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Success.

 

Snarky "Aussie"

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: What up!
Stranger: 'ello mate
You: Aussie?
Stranger: are you from australia
Stranger: I am
You: sweet.
You: do you like baseball?
Stranger: what's baseball?
You: it's a sport
You: you have a bat
You: and a ball
You: guy throws ball at bat, and other guy tries to hit ball.
Stranger: oh, that american game with the little white ball
You: exactly
You: what do you play there?
You: surf?
Stranger: why does he throw the ball at a bat, what is the bat going to do?
You: it's going to hit it
You: hopefully far
Stranger: on its own? wtf
You: no!
You: a guy is holding the bat
You: and he swings it
Stranger: oh, well you didn't say that
You: i apologize.
Stranger: I don't have much free time, my parents own a safari business for tourists
You: oh thats cool.
You: kangaroos?
Stranger: what about them?
You: are they part of the safari?
Stranger: we have roos here is thats what your asking...
Stranger: sometimes, we just drive around and hope to see gaters and stuff
You: do you wrestle them?
Stranger: we drive through the wild, not some reserve
You: oh excuse me.
Stranger: your american aren't you
Stranger: not everyone in australia is steve irwin
You: I am american.
You: You just said you went to see gators
Stranger: though he was badass
Stranger: yes, see is not equal to wrestle
You: well it might be down under.
Stranger: I can see them without dying
You: that's a relief
Stranger: your moching me aren't you
You: no!
You: I love it there. I want to go one day
Stranger: well, maybe you can wrestle a gator when you get here
You: possibly. is it dangerous?
Stranger: is that a rhetorical question?
You: yes.
Stranger: good
Stranger: so do you wrestle bears in america, if yes then a gator should be no problem
You: Nah.
You: No bear wrestling
You: I wrestle people though
Stranger: is it dangerous?
You: if they have rabies
Stranger: do they often have rabbits?
You: depends on if they're from oklahoma
Stranger: where's oklahoma?
You: Above Texa.s
Stranger: are you from oklahoma?
You: No way
Stranger: or texa?
You: Texas.
Stranger: well, whatever, you said texa.s, are your from texas
You: I made a typo, and accidentally put a .
Stranger: yes, I figured that out,
You: so you were being smart?
Stranger: I don't understand what you mean?
You: nevermind
You: anyways
You: I gotta go eat
You: and wrestle people
Stranger: do you eat gators?
You: nope. just wear them.
You have disconnected.

Failed attempt.

 

Red Sox fan.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: What up.
You: you like baseball?
Stranger: YES
Stranger: OMG.
You: I love the Texas Rangers
Stranger: omg no way.
Stranger: i hate them.
Stranger: lol.
Stranger: i was gonna pretend to be really ghetto, but i'll just be regular.
Stranger: im a sox fan
Stranger: red
You: Ah :[
You: i'm afraid we can't get along
You have disconnected.

Failed attempt.

 

Miles?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: i am depressed.
Stranger: why?
You: Well my girlfriend dumped me, and I am stuck in fucking Ohio.
Stranger: well, dont be
Stranger: im stuck in a city
Stranger: tht has 2500 citizens
Stranger: and 1500 are elders
Stranger: 600 are adults
You: That's a precise census.
Stranger: and 300 are boys
Stranger: of youger generation
You: Ohio is just full of shitheads.
You: I love the Indians though
You: baseball team
You: used to like the rangers
You: But I switched sides
Stranger: we dont have nything here
You: anyways. I gotta go to the arcade now. bye.
You have disconnected.

Failed attempt.

 

And finally what sums up baseball?

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey!
You: first word that comes to your mind when you think of baseball?
Stranger: Bat
You: thanks.
You have disconnected.

 

Failed attempt.

I just wanted to post a link to my new blog that has now gone global. I had some time in my hands this Saturday, so I thought I'd throw together something real quick for my blog. I previewed the AL west. I know the Rangers are in this division, and this is a Ranger blog as we all know. I hope it's alright if I post it here? If not just let me know, and I will continue to contribute to this site with my comments, and expert insight. If you like it please subscribe to it, or bookmark it because more stuff is coming. Let me know what you think. Cool.

 

 

My blog

 

Thanks, guys. Go rangers.

The truth behind lonestarball 
 
 
 
 
The truth behind lonestarball if you are new to this blog, or still trying to figure things out this will help you a lot. I've been on here for almost two years it'll be two years in may, I believe. Now a lot of people have been on here longer, and lets call them the senior members of this blog, but we need to separate them into two different groups. There are the Alpha senior members. They think that because they have been here longer they know more than you, and no not just about baseball, but about the life you live. If you wanna know the right way to do your taxes they will tell you, and they'll be right about because they are the Alpha senior members. They also tend to be a bit grumpy because they have been around here longer. They are not kind to newbies. They love old jokes, and they love to argue about anything, and their opinions are facts that you haven't heard of yet. Basically they are Chuck Norris is what I am saying.

You've also got the Old timers senior members. Now these people think they know everything too, but they're more subtle about it, and not as harsh. I think its because they have more of a life outside of lonestarball, so they are not as grumpy. They are a little more understanding of newbies, and by that I mean they just don't talk to them. Instead of cussing them out for not knowing what OPS is they just don't talk to them, till they figure out. They also love old jokes, and love to argue but they pick their battles wisely, and don't get into insult related arguments. 
 
  Do not try to come between the Alpha senior members, and the Old timers senior members. The Alpha senior members protect the Old timers senior members because they share something in common, being here the longest. It's kind of like the old people you see sitting on a bench doing nothing but sitting there. Lonestarball is their bench, and you're their bitch (whether you really are, or not. Trust me you're their bitch, don't argue with me. Just accept it! You are their bitch) 
 
 
 

 

Now we move onto the middle of the roaders. You have the middle of the roaders who are standing on the road with their barefeet while its 100 degrees outside. So as you can imagine they are fucking pissed. Their feet are burning, and they want to take it out on anyone, well not anyone. The angry middle of the roaders will not go after any of the senior members, but anyone else is fair game. Now unlike the Alpha senior members who will argue with you. The angry middle of the roaders will just start something. They don't need a reason. You could say "Feliz is the greatest pitcher ever" and they'll list a bunch of reasons as to why you are a jackass. To be fair it is a bit early to say he is the greatest pitcher ever, but you were obviously just making a comment out of excitement. Not really stating a historical fact. The angry middle of the roaders are probably the worst out of Lonestarball.

Then we have the know it all middle of the roaders they are like the Angry middle of the roaders just not angry, so everything about the angry middle of the roaders applies to them except they are nicer about it. Then you have the Follow the leader middle of the roaders. They basically have no opinions of their own they scope out what is the general consensus, and agree with it. Then if you argue with them about it, bring up valid points they'll wait for an angry middle of the roader to come to the rescue with some hurtful line. Everyone will say "rec it" and the comment will go green. There are a small group of middle of the roaders who are nice, and usually just are good people for the most part. Although It's kind of like looking for a piece of gold through a lot of piles of shit. The shit being the angry middle of the roaders for you slow people. 

 Then we have the newbies. You have the completely clueless newbies. Now I am usually understanding of newbies, and even if they are completely clueless about all things internet I try to help them out. Because I realize there are still people out there that prefer real life to the internet. The completely clueless newbies usually don't stay for too long because everyone tries to throw the best insult at them. You also have the newbies who got their feelings hurt, and now they are here solely to annoy people and start random pointless fights. They usually don't last long because eventually they, and everyone else gets bored with it (except for Josey Wales, but this is not about him). The other newbies usually gradually become one of the middle of the roaders, although it takes awhile they'll be standing on the road with their barefeet soon enough. 
 
 
 
 
For all the newbies who are planning on sticking around here are a few ways to survive Lonestarball. Don't take things too seriously because the people on here don't know you, so if they something that makes you mad or hurts you, let it go. They are just being jackasses. Let it go, and say something back! If you're not clever enough then just let it go because if you come back with a stupid insult then you are really going to get it. Judge things for yourself. I see a lot of people who just go with the norm, and follow the majority. You came on this blog so you could express YOUR opinions about baseball, and the Rangers, so don't come on here, and just follow what everyone else is doing.

You are going to get in arguments, and people are going to insult you. There are way more jackasses here than there are good people, but if you can get past that and learn to have fun with it, and talk baseball. Then it's worth it because even with all the jackasses this place knows baseball and if you want to learn about baseball, and the Rangers this is the best place to come. When the day comes when the Rangers make the playoffs again you can bet that this is the place you will want to be.

Poll

Who are you?

6%

Alpha

7 votes

18%

Old Timers

21 votes

5%

Angry middle

6 votes

10%

Know it all

12 votes

10%

Follow the leader

12 votes

27%

Piece of gold

32 votes

22%

Newb

26 votes

116 votes | Poll has closed

str8edgeracer    anyone on FB who wants to join my baseball advice forum...I just created a group for you! http://bit.ly/6OIaId

That is from C.J's twitter he has started a facebook group. C.J. is a pitcher for the Texas Rangers if you don't know, and loves baseball, but baseball isn't his only love. He loves racing, and just living life. A straight shooter, and edger, and loves an adrenaline rush. He's also the only person who got away with tossing a ball at his boss.

 

 

The group info reads

"Hi this is CJ Wilson and this is a page on FB for those of you youth and amateur baseball players who seek advice on stuff related to your baseball career. I get a lot of questions that I think would benefit all of the kids who follow me on here and instead of just giving it out one at a time, figured I could help more people!"

 

It's a really nice gesture of him, and he really does put a lot of effort to connect with the fans, and give advice. So anybody who is looking for advice that is the group to join. I found a few reviews of the group

 

 

 

"I love it so much! I'm a freshman in HIgh School, and was having doubts about my abilities, but after joining star pitcher C.J. Wilson's facebook group I get compared to a young Nolan Ryan! It's free, and easy to use. He's like a magic eight ball ask him anything!"

 

Bryan in Comanche Texas.

 

 

 

"Okay all you people who want advice on baseball look no further than C.J. Wilson's facebook group. I used to be an average pitcher who probably wouldn't make it out of college, but now scouts go to my game, and my little brothers friends ask me for an autograph. I'm already a hometown hero! Thank you C.J."

 

Brian in Colleyville Texas.

 

 

 

"How many times have you been sitting around your house wondering "How do you throw a gyro ball?" Well now you have the answer, no don't ask google. Go to C.J. Wilson's facebook group, and ask him! He taught me how, and people are amazed at the movement on the ball. It's ridiculously amazing! Even if you're not a fan of baseball I'd join the group just on shear awesomeness alone!"

 

 

Byron in Corpus Christi Texas.

 

Link

As you know Adam and Ben are connected they are what brothers should be they love each other, and it shows. Even through here it shows I sit and think sometimes "How come my brother can't love me like that?" So I was looking back on lonestarball, and found this E-mail Ben wrote to Adam one day, and it was so sweet because it was for no reason, it was just to let his brother know what he was doing.

 

 

 

 

Hey Brother it's your Brother here (Ben) just wanted to tell you I was missing you, and thinking about you. I know we're grown now and we can't spend as much time together, but I think back to when we were younger, and when we would watch tv late at night just to spite our parents, and when they would yell we'd just grin to each other. We knew we would get punished, but we knew it would be together, and being grounded is not so bad when you have your brother with you to play a game of battleship with I cry every time I hear someone say "I sank your battleship" cause I know we are no longer punished together. So yeah, I just decided to message you I went to the store today, and when I was buying the stuff for my jerky I saw this guy there with an angels hat on, and I thought "I know my brother Adam would make some funny remark here, and we'd laugh all the way down the cereal aisle, then we'd realize we were in the cereal aisle, and we'd reminiscence about how the toys in cereal boxes were way better when we were kids, and how you just wanted to eat the cereal, and all I cared about were the toys. I must say you like to eat Adam, but I mean you're not some skinny ass ferret you're my big teddy bear brother, and I love you for that.

 

 

 

 

Like I said though we're no longer punished together, and well I just got punished you know the dude in the angels hat? Well I made a not so tasteful remark about his stupid hat, and one thing led to another and I was beating him over the head with a stale loaf of french bread. There were kids staring in awe like someone had just unmasked barney, and ripped off Santa's beard at the same time. People called the cops, and I was arrested, and well we weren't punished together, but I'm kind of hoping you can come bail me out. They wouldn't let me use the phone, so I'm having to e-mail you, but we all know we're both computer nerds so an e-mail is probably better anyways. Please come fast, because the battleship isn't the same here, and it doesn't end with "I sank your battleship" it ends with "My penis head is fighting with the depths of your buttholeshit" don't make me the buttholeshit Adam, we're brothers.

 

 

 

I love you.

 

Love, your brother (Ben)

 

I've got tears, how about you?

Well the Angels have clinched the West, and with one boston win, or Rangers loss the Wild Card will be theirs. So the playoff chances are over now, and I know some of you are like "Yes Orange we've been telling you that for 3 weeks now" Well fuck you, okay? We still had a chance. I had so many emotions this season back in May we were flying high 4.5 games up in our division feeling like we could win the west, and kick godzilla's ass at the same time. Then slowly over the months that feeling has changed. It's gone way down, and then way back up before finally staying way down.




When asked was this season a disappointment I don't know what to say really. You know we weren't expected to be this good this season, so that must make it a step in the right direction, but then again this season could have been so much more. We had plenty of chances and sucked when the pressure came on. Part of that may be due to the fact it's a really young team who has never been under this kind of pressure before now. Then again our veterans didn't play too great under pressure either. But if I had to choose an answer I'd have to go with it was a step in the right direction. No matter how many chances we blew it was still a step in the right direction. This season showed us how good we MIGHT be next year. Feldman has been fantastic, and Holland for his first season wasn't too bad. He had moments of brilliance, and weeks of bad pitching. Feliz well he basically was some sort of magical human who was so good it didn't seem real.






This season has had some of the most rangertastic moments ever. The sweep of the Angels, The sweep of the Red Sox. All the walk-offs, Holland one hitting the Angels. Feliz striking out his first four batters as a major leaguer, and of course Elvis making fantastic play after another. It's been an amazing season, and the first season in awhile where we could actually scoreboard watch into September. Everyone involved with the rangers was apart of the playoff race in 2009, and that is giant leap into the right direction. There are no guarantees next year, but you'd think the young guys we have now will just get better, and if thats the case the Angels might be the ones looking out onto the field as we celebrate clinching the 2010 division.

 

This one is for you Biguns

 

 

 

 

 

Where is the hope guys? WHERE IS THE FAITH? Okay I know where it is it's in the toilet along with other dumps of shit the rangers took this week. I've thought it was over this week I've been close to just giving up on the playoffs all together, but we can be 5.5 games out tomorrow. If we somehow stop shitting, and sweep the Angels we're 2.5 games out with 4 more to play with them. Then it basically would be in our hands. The likelihood of a sweep is not good. I mean our winning against the Angels has to stop, right? Well maybe. But maybe we honestly do have their number, and maybe we honestly do only play well against good teams. But that might be just good enough.

 

 

People talk about how we would need to go like 15 and 2 if the angels went 8-9 or something. When you look at it that way sure it doesn't look good at all. But if we won 6 out of the remaining 7 against the Angels our wins would be their losses. Thats 6 right there, and say they lose 2 to the Yankees thats 8, so they'd need to go basically undefeated against the rest of the games they play. I'm just saying if we sweep this weekend then this season looks entirely different. Don't give up hope till after this series these games still mean something they mean a lot they mean our season, so let's get into it a little, and not be so mopy.

 

 

Did you expect Kenny Chesney to finally admit he's gay? No! But it happened.

 

Did you expect Global Warming was going to take over the world, and make us all.........warm? No! But it happened.

 

Did you expect Tony Romo, and Jessica Simpson getting married and having two kids named Tito and Billop? No! But it happened.

 

Did you expect our offense to suck this season? No! But it happened.

 

Did you expect Scary movie 5 to be good? No! But it was hilarious.

 

Did you expect Brett Farve to come back from retirement? Yes!.......And this is a very bad example.

 

 

Don't lose the hope.

 

 

 

 

 

I'll leave you with a quote from our great leader

This team is finished, and it is time to look to 2010

 

I've never wanted someone to get bit in the ass more than I do now. Let's go rangers.

So, I made this video for you Frankie you can put it on your iphone, or whatever. It's just a way for you to get fired up before you come into close. Your beeping sound noise just ain't cutting it, so you know take an iphone out to the bullpen, and when you hear the phone ring. Press play and watch. I hope it helps I really love you, and I want you to get as many saves as possible.

 

It's really sad to see, I mean last season he started off pretty good he was doing fine and getting the job done. But after that ball toss I just don't think he's ever been the same and the warning signs are just right there infront of our faces it's crazy. He's not upset, he has lost touch with reality. I have proof too. If you study his myspace you'll see it, I'll give you some things to look for.

 

 

One as you can clearly see on his profile there is a huge picture of him and there's this boy standing in front of him and the boy has writing on his forehead while C.J. is behind him smiling with a marker in his hand. Writing on people's foreheads and then mocking them behind their backs is one sign.

 

 

If you look at his playlist you will see he has a song called "just dance" by lady gaga. I'll leave it at that.

 

 

If you look at his age it says he's 109 I think we all know he's not 109 so the fact that he believes he is 109 is very sad.

 

 

The warning signs are out there folks. Just open your eyes, this is no time to be bashing C.J. saying he's upset. Shut up okay? You don't know him and really I don't know if he knows himself. Please stop the judging I don't see how you guys can read one of his blogs and think you know his feelings. LOOK AT HIS PROFILE. LOOK AT IT! You'll see it too.

 

 

 

We love you C.J.

Poll

Dogs or cats?

13%

Checkers

11 votes

40%

Chess

32 votes

45%

Yes.

36 votes

79 votes | Poll has closed

http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200807153137316

 

 

LMAO wow it looked like he was pissing Justin off he was like a 10 year old watching his favorite player live for the first time.

 

Random words.

 

Apple apple apple apple apple apple apple

 

Archery archery archery archery archery

 

Apricot apricot apricot apricot apricot.

 

Baseball baseball baseball baseball

 

Zebra zebra zebra zebra zebra zebra

 

Plum plum plum plum plum plum

 

back back back back gone

From DMN

 

That's right. Matt Harrison is coming to the big leagues to pitch against the AL West Division leaders. Eric Hurley's left hamstring felt better today, but during some fielding drills it wasn't quite at 100 percent and the Rangers don't want to take any chances.

So Harrison gets the call. The lefty has split time between Double-A Frisco and Triple-A Oklahoma and is a combined 6-3 with a 3.43 ERA in 15 starts (84 innings) this season. He gave up one earned run in six innings in his last outing on July 3. He had five strikeouts and two walks.

The Rangers will wait until after the game to figure out what corresponding move they have to make to put Harrison on the roster.

http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200806142929984

 

Slippin' and a slidin', peepin' and a hidin', been told long time ago,
Slippin' and a slidin', peepin' and a hidin', been told long time ago,
I been told, baby, you been bold, I won't be your fool no more.

Oh, big conniver, nothing but a jiver, done got hip to your jive,
Oh, big conniver, nothing but a jiver, done got hip to your jive,
Slippin' and a slidin', peepin' and a hidin', won't be your fool no more.

Oh Malinda, she's a solid sender, you know you better surrender,
Oh Malinda, she's a solid sender, you know you better surrender,
Slippin' and a slidin', peepin' and a hidin', won't be your fool no more.