Stains

jebushchrist

  • joined May 24, 2008
  • last login Jul 29, 2014
  • posts 117
  • comments 6873

I like toast.

A Fan Of...

  • MLB Boston Red Sox
  • NFL Indianapolis Colts
  • NCAAF Iowa Hawkeyes
  • NCAAB Iowa Hawkeyes
  • NASCAR Ernie Ernie
  • MMA Gina Carano
  • Boxing Vai Sikahema
  • Cycling Evel Knievel
User Blog

THE EMPEROR WEARS FAT CLOTHES

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Butter... he'd be good slathered in butter... NUM NUM NUM NUM It's common knowledge that I don't like Notre Dame or the Irish [the last part is pure self-loathing, Jebus is extremely...

COUNTERPOINT: MORE BAD NEWS

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Fuck. This is not what I needed to see today. Many of you may remember Amari Spievey as a highly touted recruit for the Hawkeyes in the fall of 2006. He was having a little trouble with the books...

BLOGPOLL: WEEK 8, SHAKESPEARE EDITION

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Les and Dennis in happier times Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. -–King Henry IV, Act III, Scene I, Line 31This has been a season like no other. I can think of 30 teams to rank between...

FanPost
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WELCOME PAGE

Welcome PageFirst off, welcome to Black Heart Gold Pants! We're glad you found us. And since you're new here, we've got a few tips and ground rules for your participation.I'm JebusHChrist, one of...

INITIAL BLOGPOLL: WEEK 8

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The wheel keeps turning. I'm no more clear where we're headed now than I was 8 weeks ago. I do know this: there is no superior team, nor is there a superior conference, this season. This isn't...

IT'S GO TIME: WHERE AM I?

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I'm drunk, I'm landscaping, and all I can think about is picking winners. Call your accountant, we're going perfect this week.[winners in bold.--ed]Oklahoma @ Iowa State (+30)This isn't so much a...

EXCELSIOR!

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Here at Black Heart Gold Pants, we're simple men with simple needs. We love football and we write about it, it's what we do. We're like cobblers really; we just cobble away and prepare shoes, for...

BLOGPOLL: WEEK 7, TOM PETTY EDITION

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This college football season is exactly like Tom Petty. It's ugly, it doesn't sing well, it doesn't play well, but despite all of that there's a certain unmistakable beauty about it. It's so ugly...

HEISMAN WATCH OR: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE HEISMAN

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The Heisman doesn't really mean much to the general public these days. Through a series of unfortunate events (Andre Ware) it went from being awarded to "the greatest player" in college football...

ZOOK WEEK 2: THE ZOOKENING

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Z fadin out I finally heard from the Zooker Monday afternoon. He was in quite a state. The conversation:3:43 PMZookHook: Greetings from theheartland!3:44 PMZookHook: Nothin to be afraid of,...

INITIAL BLOGPOLL: WEEK 7

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#1 in the polls, and in my pants The paradigm has shifted. That's what I've learned. You can no longer judge teams based on conference affiliation or the name on their jersey. The only way to...

IT'S GO TIME: A NEW GENERATION OF DEGENERATION

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I talked to a good friend this week and was shocked to hear that many people don't know the terminology and tricks of gambling. We may have an entire generation of sports fans  that don't gamble. I...

IF ANYONE KNOWS THE WHEREABOUTS OF RON ZOOK, LEMME KNOW

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I've been ignoring the Zooker. I'm busy and he's redundant, so that's the long and short of it. But in the early hours of Wednesday morning I got some troubling IMs from him and I'm actually a...

BLOGPOLL: WEEK 6, THE TAO OF FOOTBALL

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"The more you know, the less you understand." --Tao Te ChingCollege football is more than a game, more than a sport; it's a way of life. I'm assigning lessons from Tao Te Ching to teams and their...

IT'S YOUR MOVE, BOWDEN

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I wanted to hurry and post this before I found out it wasn't true. It's all over the internets today that JoePA went off in a road rage incident. I cannot tell you how happy this has made me. In...

HERE'S THE THING: PLEASE DON'T BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM

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It's no secret that our offensive game plan is small-minded and slow moving. Coupled with that is an offensive line that can't pass protect and a QB who can't get the ball to his playmakers....

IT'S GO TIME: A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE

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[Editor's Note: JebusHChrist couldn't be here tonight, so filling in for him is his friend Poop Socks.] Jebus couldn't make it so I'm pinch hitting. Maybe we can make you some money this week. The...

BLOGPOLL: WEEK 5

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Rank Team Delta 1 LSU -- 2 Southern Cal -- 3 California 2 4 Ohio State 2 5 South Florida 9 6 Cincinnati 5 7 Wisconsin 8 8 Hawaii 8 9 Kentucky 8 10 Boston...

INITIAL BLOGPOLL: WEEK 5

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I have no idea. Rank Team Delta 1 LSU -- 2 Southern Cal -- 3 California 2 4 Ohio State 2 5 South Florida 9 6 Cincinnati 5 7 Wisconsin 8 8 Hawaii 8 9 Kentucky 8 1...

DECISION TIME

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Make no mistake, I'm pissed off right now. I hate losing to anyone, particularly to a habitually bad program like Indiana, twice in a row. I heard the words "that loss hurt" about a million times...

GAMEDAY OPEN THREAD: NOW FEATURING YOU!

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Alright, Hawkeye fans, here's the open thread. Post your comments, opinions, and rants right here, throughout the game and post-game. I'll be stopping by to join in. Also, today I'm asking for your...

IT'S GO TIME: I'M SORRY, MOMMA

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Mistakes were made. So, you lost momma's house last week? How was I supposed to know Texas Tech was going to fire their DC? What do you want from me? This is a dirty business. Who got you momma's...

AROUND THE LEAGUE (BIG 10 NOT INCLUDED)

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This just in: the Big 10 is not good. You'll be happy to learn that there's other football out there and I read about it as often as possible. I don't think that makes me immoral or disloyal, just...

BLOGPOLL: WEEK 4

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Rank Team Delta 1 LSU -- 2 Southern Cal 1 3 Oklahoma 1 4 West Virginia -- 5 California 2 6 Ohio State 2 7 Oregon 2 8 Rutgers 2 9 Florida 4 10 Texas 1 11 C...

INITIAL BLOGPOLL: WEEK 4

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There are only 3 teams in the country this year with an offense and a defense, and they're resting comfortably at the top of the poll. The rest? Explosive offenses with no D, or the reverse. I...

HERE'S THE THING: THE SEX CANNON EDITION

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The pressure of a National Championship is off, Hawkeye fans, so we can just settle in and grind out a Big 10 title. I'm not kidding about either of those things. We're in a BCS conference, we...

IT'S GO TIME: YAARRRRRR!!!!!

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Let me start out by acknowledging your thanks for the Indiana pick last week. I know, I know, momma's got 4 houses now and when momma's happy, everyone's happy. But danger lurks this week. I saw a...

AROUND THE LEAGUE

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You thought I was kidding about the Alvarez photo? It's official, there are exactly 1 million college football blogs. It's simply not possible to read them all, I've tried. Thankfully, 2 of the...

BADGER BLOG

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I need your help. In my constant need to research our opponent and read about college football I've been trying to find a Wisconsin football blog. I'm not having a lot of luck. Don't make me read...

BLOGPOLL: WEEK 3

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Rank Team Delta 1 LSU -- 2 Oklahoma -- 3 Southern Cal -- 4 West Virginia -- 5 Florida 1 6 Penn State 1 7 California 2 8 Ohio State 4 9 Oregon 1 10 Rutgers 9 11 T...

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