Marlins fans, now is the time to get excited.

We have a great, I repeat, GREAT young baseball team. Our lineup should be solid all the way through, our bullpen is loaded with guys who can be very effective, and we have seven starting pitchers with serious potential.

In 2010, the Florida Marlins can absolutely challenge for the whole enchilada. Let us compare the Marlins with last year's champ, the New York Yankees.

Continue reading this post »

So we just witnessed Rich Harden, the player with the most strikeouts per nine innings in the major leagues, and another quality starting pitcher, Chad Gaudin, get traded to Chicago for "Sean Gallagher, outfielders Matt Murton and Eric Patterson and minor leaguer Josh Donaldson."

Harden's pitching was beautifully described by Buck Showalter on ESPN, who said his "stuff is wipe-out filthy."

Here are some fun facts about the players Harden and Gaudin were traded for.

Murton was a former top prospect for the Cubs, but he's shuttled between Triple-A Iowa and Chicago the past two seasons. He's hitting .250 in 40 at-bats.

Gallagher is 3-4 with a 4.45 ERA in 12 games.

Patterson was hitting .237 with a homer and seven RBIs in 38 at-bats with the Cubs.

Donaldson, a catcher for Class A Peoria, was hitting .217 with six homers.

Where is the prize prospect a team should be required to give up for a young ace like Harden? Gallagher is the best player in the deal for the A's, and his numbers are much worse than Gaudin's!

So here's my question.

So we just witnessed Rich Harden, the player with the most strikeouts per nine innings in the major leagues, and another quality starting pitcher, Chad Gaudin, get traded to Chicago for "Sean Gallagher, outfielders Matt Murton and Eric Patterson and minor leaguer Josh Donaldson."

Harden's pitching was beautifully described by Buck Showalter on ESPN, who said his "stuff is wipe-out filthy."

Here are some fun facts about the players Harden and Gaudin were traded for.

Murton was a former top prospect for the Cubs, but he's shuttled between Triple-A Iowa and Chicago the past two seasons. He's hitting .250 in 40 at-bats.

Gallagher is 3-4 with a 4.45 ERA in 12 games.

Patterson was hitting .237 with a homer and seven RBIs in 38 at-bats with the Cubs.

Donaldson, a catcher for Class A Peoria, was hitting .217 with six homers.

Where is the prize prospect a team should be required to give up for a young ace like Harden? Gallagher is the best player in the deal for the A's, and his numbers are much worse than Gaudin's!

So here's my question.

Tigers better, but for how long?
by Rob Neyer
Wednesday, December 5, 2007

jrfelix, buddy,

Please don't post someone else's entire article, I get in big trouble if they (ESPN) see it. And believe it or not, they do read FishStripes from time to time. Go figure.

You can copy and post parts of it "under fair use" but not the whole thing. So copy and post the parts of Neyer's article that best make your point and fill in the gaps with your paraphrasing of what he said about the rest.

Sorry about that but ESPN can out lawyer me.

Thanks.

craig

Here is the link to the article: Tigers better, but for how long?

For the record books, this is a conversation I had with Mike over a year ago that I just found on my old website (freewebs.com/newforum).

More football talk (1/3/06)

Because I hate to waste anything I spent over five minutes writing, I decided to post the UF/UM discussion I had with a guy from a Marlins site I frequent (fishstripes.com.) Without any further ado:

What up Mike,

I'll take this paragraph by paragraph.

" I deleted all of the college football comments on FishStripes (the ones I wrote, that you wrote, and that Wiggins wrote). We've gotten into plenty of college football discussions in the past, but I think we'd all really prefer to keep the talk to baseball and Marlins related stuff on FishStripes. "

I like that. Always better to be a uniter than a divider, eh?

 "Other than that, I think you missed my point about the Miami - Florida stuff. Gators are good at talking plenty of smack. I know I've heard plenty of it. The recruiting titles are the new talk with Meyer leading things in the Swamp. This is just like it was when Zook first took over. There were mythical national recruiting titles coming in left and right. I'm waiting to see the Gators do it on the field though. The Gators haven't beaten the Canes in football since 1985. You might count football titles since 1996. That seems to be how all Gators do it, but that's not reality (I was impressed though that you didn't start rattling off SEC titles, as most Gators seem to do; at least you realize that national titles are the only ones worth talking about). "

Zook's class was never as good as this (this is supposedly our best class ever), and I NEVER liked Zook. I thought he was a mistake from the get-go. And like I said, I know UM has 4 titles from '80 to '91 or whatever it is, but I was like 5 years old for the last of them. To me, that stuff is ancient history...we might as well talk about Yale and Harvard's title days.

 "Yes, the Gators beat the Canes in basketball a few weeks back. The Canes won in Gator country last year (and why is it that UF is saying they'll only continue the basketball series with Miami if the games can be played at a neutral site?). "

I remember that game last year. Thats why I was so fired up about this years game, because UM came into our house and took us. And I brought it up because you said, "when is the last time the Gators beat UM in something," when the answer occurred one week previous. As for the neutral site, I have no clue; thats just weird.

 "What about baseball though? Do you not want to talk college baseball? You mentioned the Gators College World Series appearance this season. How many CWS titles have the Gators won? I believe it's zero. The Canes have won four."

I only mentioned baseball to add to the litany of the Gators recent accomplishments. I dont follow college baseball, so I dont really follow our team that much, only been to one game. I will say that our man LaPorta is sick though.

" I'm sorry to get into this. I really didn't want to or intend to when I started joking around with Wiggins. I have little patience for Gator-smack. I heard quite a bit of it last year in Atlanta prior to the Peach Bowl. Then after the game no Gator wanted to talk about anything -- even in a calm, rational discussion. That's always the case. In 2000, after the Sugar Bowl, Gator fans wanted to talk about the pre-game brawl (on Bourbon street). In 2002, there were no Gator fans to talk to after the game, because they'd all left the Swamp in the middle of the third quarter. In 2003, I heard the funniest talk of all from Gator fans: they talked about how Miami shouldn't feel good about the win because their barely beat the Gators. "

Before the Peach Bowl last year, I discussed the game with my friend Eric, a UM student. I said I just couldnt see UM scoring on our D. He told me (accurately) that the Canes D and special teams would win the game. That was that for me. Our season was in ruins at that point anyway. In 2003, I definately was making that same argument you mentioned, regardless of how relevant it was. Because I was at the game, and it was painful to think about how bad we blew it. I could not give the Canes any credit, because of how infuriated I was with Zook. All I could think was that they were lucky our coach was so terrible. 2000 cost me about twenty bucks and much pride with my friends, but I cant even rememeber 2002.

 "Time will tell which school's future football prospects were better. Florida was 9-3 this year, just like Miami. The Gators have had great recruiting classes before and great hope because of new coaches. The Canes have had dissension and turnover in the coaching staff and among players pretty regularly. In time we'll see how things shake out for everyone. I'm sure that it's a more comfortable position for Gator fans right now, as the Canes aren't on the schedule for the next few years. Regardless, I'm glad that I'm a Cane. "

My current assessment of UM is this: The Canes should fire Larry Coker...right now. I think he was lucky to have about thirty first rounders that Butch Davis stocked the cupboard with. All hes done since then is pick up recruits who come just because its 'the U'. Not for him. Not for any brilliant schemes that he draws up. I honestly feel that me and a group of my friends could coach as well as he has. The Canes have had too much talent to lose as much as they have. If I were a Cane fan, my dream scenario would be Davis coming back and giving Coker the boot. The man is a nonentity.

As for my team...only time will tell. I think Leak is atrocious. In fact, I wrote this: http://www.alligator.org/pt2/050920column.php telling my entire school just that. And like I said in that column, we havent really seen what Urban can do yet...but I'm willing to bet he'll net us a title at some point. And with the players he just picked up (see Tebow, Tim) he has a real fighting chance.

That's just my two cents. :-)

Take care and have a great day!

 - Andrew

In case anyone forgot, Florida Gators--2006 BCS Champions. Oh, and the basketball titles were nice too, but since this is my senior year at UF, what I'm really looking forward to is the crowning glory - back-to-back football national championships. How bout them Gators?

And in case anyone cares, my new website is
www.theandrewmeyer.com

Mahalo Hombres

I hope everyone's been reading up on the Marlins Centerfield Battle, or MCB, because it's Pop Quiz time!

The MCB has six possible answers, none of which may be right! So, depending on how you look at it, this is either the easiest or the hardest test question in your life!

Yo Maverick, can you tell us about Borchard and Ross's defense abilities, or lack thereof?

With Johnson and Tank out to start the season, the 25 man roster is pretty easy to work out.

C Miguel Olivo, Matt Treanor
1B Mike Jacobs, Aaron Boone
2B Dan Uggla
SS Hanley Ramirez, Robert Andino 3B Miguel Cabrera
RF Jeremy Hermida, Joe Borchard
CF Alfredo Amezaga, Cody Ross
LF Josh Willingham

No matter what Fredi says, Alfredo is our starting CF, splitting time with Cody Ross. Alex Sanchez was never in contention, as he is awful.

SP Dontrelle Willis, Scott Olsen, Anibal Sanchez, Ricky Nolasco, and Yusmeiro Petit.

Petit is the logical choice to finish out the rotation, and he could be there all season, since as soon as we get Josh Johnson back Anibal will get hurt.

RP Kevin Gregg, Henry Owens, Renyel Pinto, Matt Lindstrom, Randy Messenger, Paul Mildren, and Sergio Mitre.

Gregg will close, because he's the most experienced guy back there, with Owens, Lindstrom, and Messenger holding down the 7th and 8th. Pinto is our lefty, and he will be solid. Mitre gets the spot starter/long relief role, and Mildren gets to  ride the back of the pine until Tank is ready.

So what can we expect from this squad? Our strength is still the rotation. I see Dontrelle having a big year, Olsen progressing nicely, Sanchez tearing it up before he gets injured, Nolasco holding it down until we can move him to the bullpen next year, and Yusmeiro (he really needs a nickname; Big Y?) having a solid rookie campaign.

The bullpen might be the best we've had in a while. I really like the arms we have back there, especially Gregg, Pinto, and Owens. Owens will probably get hurt as well, based on his delivery and the earlier report about his shoulder (elbow?), but whenever he goes down, Tank will be up.

We still are stacked with pitching prospects, with Jose Garcia, Gaby Hernandez, Sean West, Chris Volstad, Aaron Thompson, Ryan Tucker, Jacob Marceaux, Brett Sinkbeil, and Rick Vanden Hurk starting the year in the minors. I see Garcia, Hernandez, and Vanden Hurk all seeing some big league action this year.

Our lineup will be about the same as last year, but expect a big boost from Hermida, but some regression from Uggla and Ramirez. The defense should be a year better, but our depth is worse (so long Wes Helms!)

This team has a lot of potential, but plays in the NL's toughest division. The Mets will win the division again, but we can grab the wild-card spot. Our main competition is the Phillies, so hopefully it comes down to the last week of the year, so we can sweep those dirty chokers again, a la 2003. I think next year is our year to be quite honest, but it's baseball, so who knows. I can't see us pulling off any major deals, but here's to Dontrelle for Rocco Baldelli. We're losing the D-Train soon anyway, we might as well plug our biggest hole with him.

In the event that none of what I predicted comes to pass, I was tripping on acid when I wrote this.

Thank you Larry Beinfest, and GO MARLINS!!!

http://www.minorleagueball.com/story/2006/12/23/225355/26

Unlike Maverick, John still includes Tankersley and Pinto on his list, even though they've made the show. Their lists are very similar, but not entirely. Maverick's number 15, Torre Langley, doesnt even get an honorable mention from John. Other Marlins hitters such as Chris Coghlan and Tom Hickman also get little respect. Paul Mildren, our Australian lefty, gets the biggest boost.

Maverick, care to comment? Please?

In my opinion it's Larry Beinfest, but this isn't about me, and besides, my opinion might be just a little skewed, considering I LOVE THE FLORIDA MARLINS.

Anyway, there are 32 GMs, and only 10 slots in the poll, so I'm going to eliminate a few fringe candidates right here.

Walt Jocketty's Cardinals may have just won the World Series, but the man still traded Dan Haren (and Kiko Calero and Daric Barton) for Mark Mulder. Atrocious. He also paid good money for ex-Marlins Juan Encarnacion and Braden Looper, when any bleacher bum in our stadium could tell you that they $%&#ing suck.

Omar Minaya only knows how to do one thing: spend the Mets money. Granted, he's done it fairly well (Delgado, Pedro, Beltran) but I don't think he knows how to do anything else. The man set the Expos/Nats back five years by trading Grady Sizemore, Cliff Lee, and Brandon Philips for half a year of Bartolo Colon. What a jerk.

Terry Ryan made one ENORMOUS trade, I'll give him that. A.J. Pierzynski for Francisco Liriano, Joe Nathan, AND Boof Bonser might be the most one-sided deal of all-time. But other than that, what has he done? The Twins are a product of an amazing farm system. Meanwhile, Ryan has done little to augment his team's stellar young talent, adding scorching bats such as Luis Castillo, Rondell White, Nick Punto, Shannon Stewart...you get the picture. I refuse to include him in the poll.

Ned Colletti just gave Juan Pierre $45 million. I'll repeat that. Ned Colletti just gave Juan Pierre FORTY FIVE MILLION DOLLARS. Enough said.

Brian Sabean: on the other end of that Liriano deal.

Jim Hendry. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Thanks for Dontrelle Willis!

Josh Byrnes almost made the cut, and then I remembered he let the Marlins have Dan Uggla for $50,000.

Bill Stoneman is just all over the place, Tim Purpura is just a punk, and I just don't like Doug Melvin. Maybe it's the moustache.

And that leaves us with our field of ten! I think the top contenders are Beinfest (obvious), Billy Beane (even more obvious), and Schuerholz (won 79 straight division titles...but only one WS. nyah, nyah braves fans), with Epstein and Cashman sure to draw a lot of votes thanks to know-nothing Red Sox and Yankees fans. Let the voting begin! UPDATE: Actually, Doug Melvin is probably more valuable than Kevin Towers. I'm still not putting Melvin on the list, so I'm just going to change the spot to "OTHER", but should you vote that way, I DEMAND an explanation.

There are a lot of chips left to fall, but right now, I would say the Marlins are having the best offseason of any team in the sport. "But we havent done anything!" you say. Precisely. It seems that just about every contract handed out is AWFUL.

$136 mil to Alfonso Soriano? No thanks.
$50 mil to Gary Matthews Jr.? Um, pass.
$45 mil to Juan Pierre. Hmm. (Snicker, snicker). WAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

And we've barely got started on the pitchers! $24 mil to Adam Eaton! Adam Eaton! He would have to fight with Ricky Nolasco for the LAST spot in the Marlins rotation. I'm excited to see what Barry Zito gets. $100 mil?

I love, repeat LOVE the way the Marlins operate. The moves we make are under-the-radar, cost-efficient, and usually very effective. Every year we seem to find a closer on the scrap heap, and turn him into a class-A free agent the next year. This year already, we have Kevin Gregg, Henry Owens, and maybe even Matt Lindstrom ready to step in and drop 30/40 saves out of nowhere. For a fraction of the cost of signing Danys Baez.

I love the Marlins. We stay out of the fool-hardy free agent market, saving money and finding bargains. Why sign an outfielder when we can probably find a starter or two in the rule V draft? LARRY! LARRY!

Baseball Prospectus Top Ten Prospects

Henry Owens and Rick Vanden Hurk are both going to make contributions in the bullpen this year. I also would not be too surprised if one of the top five (very young) players on this list make the leap near the end of the year. Tell me which one.

My other question is, Where is Gaby Sanchez on this list?

[Edit by craig] If you click on the comment link, you can vote in the poll designed by Jrfelix.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2545634

Heroin. That's what happened to him. I'm not judging him - in fact I have a friend with a similar problem. Get well soon Jeff. If he ever makes it back to baseball, his story will be about a million times more important than The Rookie (it already is anyway).

Hey John,
    Sorry in advance for the profane language scattered throughout this letter. This site is about as close as it gets to the heart of the sportsblog nation, so posting here is basically mandatory (plus, your book always sits right next to my toilet, so I already feel like we have a good rapport.) Anyway, I'm just trying to get this to Bill Simmons.
    Thanks,
    THE Andrew Meyer
Dear Bill Simmons,
BEAT YOU TO THE PUNCH ASSHOLE!!!!

That's right, two can play this game. After spotting this story

http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/wbc2006/columns/story?columnist=katz_andy&id=2528801        

on espn.com at 3:36am, Gainesville time, on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 (a now historic date due to this correspondence) I constructed a rough outline of what Team USA's roster will look like.

    dwight    howard       
    chris    bosh       
    brad    miller       
lebron    james        elton    brand
carmelo    anthony        amare    stoudemire
bruce    bowen        antawn    jamison

dwyane    wade        chris    paul
gilbert    arenas        kirk    hinrich
shane    battier        joe    johnson
        Coach K!!!    CUT   
            SHAWN    MARION
            LUKE    RIDNOUR
            ADAM    MORRISON

And now, I will completely dissect it, Bill Simmons style. You see Bill, it's not that I can write exactly like you. It's that you write EXACTLY like me. Well, with way more movie references. I don't always feel like injecting a pop culture phrase that any jabroni can recognize. Do you smeeeeeeellllllllll what The Andrew Meyer is cooking?

(Heheheheh. Yeah, I laugh at my own jokes. And you know what else, "When this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour ... you're gonna see some serious shit."

Anyway, when your column finally appeared in ESPN the Magazine, I ended my subscription to Sports Illustrated forever. I had finally found a writer with MY voice, and I was amazed. Let me put it to you this way:

When I was a kid, I read the Miami Herald sports section daily, so the first voice of reason I discovered in sports journalism was Dan Le Batard, and as I'm sure you've seen for yourself on PTI, he can't quite fill Kornheiser or Wilbon's shoes. Kornheiser and Wilbon are the best. LeBatard, as much as I like him, just doesn't cut the mustard. The LeBatard corollary (as you would call it) definitely applies to Steve Rushin and Rick Reilly. Cut the mustard? Shit, they aren't fit to clean the dust mites in your keyboard with their tongues. Anyway, this is The Andrew Meyer's take on Team USA's current roster.

(And bear in mind, in the past year, I have called A) the Heat winning the championship BEFORE THE SEASON STARTED, both B) the Gator basketball team's early success and C) their successive romp through the tournament, including D) an exact 15 point margin of victory over `Nova. Andrew knows basketball. But more than that, I know MY teams. And the Heat and the Gators are definitely MY teams. Speaking of which, I also knew that Nick Saban would turn the Dolphins around, and that the Marlins would be sick this year.

{Wow, Andrew, you sure know a lot.}

Damn straight. Ask me what else I know.

{What else do you know Andrew?}

I know that the Marlins are the smartest team in baseball, and that Red Sox fans don't know shit. Trust me, I've met enough of the filthy bastards.)

POINT GUARD

As you've said before, Chris Paul is indeed the point guard of the future. But in my opinion, he is also the point guard of the present; the best in the world - right now. He simultaneously took a miserable Hornets team to the brink of the playoffs - in the West, no less - and opened up legendary miser George Shinn's legendarily miserly pocketbook. Coincidence? I think not. The kid is good, real good. Who around can tell him he's second best? (I'm with you Bill, Steve Nash and Jason Kidd are white and can't play defense).

Besides, there are two other white point guards out there better suited [read: Americans who don't kiss anything during free throws] for Team USA than both of them. No, not Jason Williams a.k.a. White Chocolate a.k.a. the man who started 10-10 from the field during the Heat's series-clinching Game 6 victory over that team from Detroit which was recently dismantled. (I may be a Heat fan, but I'm not a Heat fanatic. You see, real Heat fans - not those Johnny-come-lately bandwagon whores you saw in the arena - are pragmatists [read: mostly Jewish]. We knew from the start how special Dwyane Wade was...but we also know that J-Will can't cut the mustard on this squad.) No, the two white point guards of which I speak are Mike Bibby and Kirk Hinrich.

Hinrich, who's Bulls are now unquestionably the #2 team in the East, is a perfect, perfect, PERFECT fit for Team USA. He distributes the ball, attacks the basket, and PLAYS DEFENSE. And he can shoot! And he's white! Did I mention he fits this team perfectly?

Gilbert Arenas does not fit this team perfectly...until you change his position. Arenas is a shoot-first point guard, so Team USA will probably change his position and let him do what he does best: shoot first. To this end, Joe Johnson becomes the #3 point guard, and Arenas drops down into the next category.

SHOOTING GUARD

And what an excellent category it is. But not because of Gilbert Arenas. He's only the second best at this spot. Do you know why? I'm sure you do, but let me clue you in anyway.

Before the 2003 NBA Draft, I remember reading a few blurbs about Dwyane Wade in the Herald, among other places. And do you know what I kept hearing? "He plays like a young MJ." What? A young Michael Jordan? Impossible. Why would a player like that not go in the top 3? I couldn't understand it then, but I do now. Dwyane Wade slipped to the Heat because most NBA general managers are fools, just like most MLB general managers, and most NFL general managers, and most Pizza Hut general managers, and most general managers in general.

It's simple when you think about it. The reason most GMs are bad at their jobs, despite being in such important public positions, is that they are human. And most humans, for the most part, are pretty stupid. We are not logical creatures and, for the most part, we don't make logical decisions. So, if most humans are illogical creatures making illogical decisions, does it come as any surprise that most sports teams are run illogically? Of course not! I would be shocked as hell if sports entering the equation actually DID make people smarter. The people who excel at sports are typically LESS intelligent than the average man, not more. So we have stupid athletes who eventually become stupid coaches who, if they work hard enough, can become stupid GMs. And you're surprised Isiah Thomas is an idiot? I'm surprised there aren't many more like him.

Fortunately, the man who makes decisions for my team is Pat Riley. And Pat Riley is no fool. Let me give you a quick history lesson: Pat Riley built the Miami Heat. He took our infant franchise, which had done exactly NOTHING before he got here, and made us into winners. He brought us Tim Hardaway, Alonzo Mourning, and FOUR STRAIGHT DIVISION TITLES. I repeat: Pat Riley MADE this franchise. If anything, he was screwed by Zo's kidney and Michael Jordan. Isn't it fitting then, for this man, who developed our infant franchise, to have a young MJ and a rejuvenated Zo dropped right in his lap? Isn't it fitting, that the franchise he previously coached to four NBA titles gave him the player he needed to win a championship with his new team? Yes, yes it is. So fitting, in fact, that I saw it coming a year away.

So why couldn't you, Bill? Too caught up in Riley's "bad karma," were you? No worries. You're still a great writer, and one of the few hard-core NBA fans left, right? So, I'm glad then, that you were here to tell everyone about how Dirk was the unstoppable player in the playoffs before his "choke-job", and how David Stern paid off the refs, or whatever it is you need to tell yourself to avoid acknowledging that you COMPLETELY OVERLOOKED THE BEST TEAM IN THE NBA. You and Marc Stein. (Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd be writing.)

Oh, and Shane Battier is an excellent defensive backup.

SMALL FORWARD

Carmelo Anthony is easily one of the top 20 players in the NBA. On this team, that makes him LeBron's understudy. Yes, King James is probably the best player in the NBA (but I'll still take Wade and a title, thank you very much.)

Oh, and Bruce Bowen is an excellent defensive backup.

POWER FORWARD

As you saw first hand this season, Elton Brand has become easily one of the top 10 players in the NBA. He looks nigh-unstoppable, and he deserves to start at power forward for Team USA. But then again, doesn't deserving to start at power forward for Team USA basically mandate that you are nigh-unstoppable? Fun stuff.

Just like that microfracture surgery. Or am I the only one who noticed that Amare Stoudemire MADE THE TEAM? Where the hell did that come from? I need to hear more about this....Andy Katz, are you listening?

Oh, and Antawn Jamison is an excellent...Wizard.

CENTER

Dwight Howard should start at center, with Chris Bosh and Brad Miller as his backups. If only we had a coach smart enough to recognize this....

COACH

Oh wait, we do! Now this is what gets me excited. The one, the only, Coach K. If I could have picked anyone to run this team, it would have been him. In fact, he's so special, so uniquely suited to run this team, that for Team USA purposes only, I think I'll call him Special K. Now that's the stuff.

CUT

Luke Ridnour and Adam Morrison were the last cuts according to this report. But make no mistake, Shawn Marion was cut too. He can cry injury all he wants, but Special K and I know the truth. Marion was the last big name to be cut - for his ex-injured teammate coming off microfracture surgery no less - and nobody wants to make headlines that way. So Special K, classy guy that he is, let Marion fake an injury. Everybody wins. Marion gets to save face, the media still get their story, and best of all, Team USA gets the best roster possible. Thanks Special K!

OUTCOME

With Special K running the show, is it even in doubt? Gold, diamonds, platinum, whatever there is to win, the U.S. isn't losing in basketball for the next 4 years at least.

So Bill, with all that said, there's just one question left:  How exactly did you steal my style? The public schools plant devices in our heads when they "check for lice", don't they? DON'T THEY!?

Oh, and just for kicks, I decided to edit the second half of Andy Katz's excellent and thorough report:

Morrison's coach at Gonzaga, Mark Few, was in attendance and said the forward knew going in he would have a hard time making the squad.

In other news, fast food is unhealthy. Also, birds can fly and the sky is blue.

Ridnour told ESPN.com that while he hadn't been told he definitely wouldn't be going to Asia, he anticipates he'll receive the news. "I'm here for the experience, and if it doesn't happen this summer then I've got two more years,'' Ridnour said. "When they called me during the season they told me that there were a lot of veterans and it would be tough to make it. But I've got a bright future, and I'm excited about it.''

Well that makes one of us.

Ridnour is caught in a logjam at point. Chris Paul of New Orleans/Oklahoma City is expected to compete for starter's minutes. USA coach Mike Krzyzewski of Duke also talked about Hinrich's ability to play pressure defense and finals MVP Dwyane Wade's ball handling skills.

Actually, this is getting pretty boring...END REPORT.

Andy Katz is a senior writer at ESPN.com.
And The Andrew Meyer will be appearing soon on CollegeOfficial.com

Oh, and P.S. Bill -

If you ask me real nice, I'll tell you, and the entire Simmons flock all about what my friends have dubbed: The Meyer Scale. And remember, you may be The Sports Guy, but I'm

THE Andrew Meyer.

Dear Bill Simmons,
BEAT YOU TO THE PUNCH ASSHOLE!!!!

That's right, two can play this game. After spotting this story

http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/wbc2006/columns/story?columnist=katz_andy&id=2528801        

on espn.com at 3:36am, Gainesville time, on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 (a now historic date due to this correspondence) I constructed a rough outline of what Team USA's roster will look like.

    dwight    howard       
    chris    bosh       
    brad    miller       
lebron    james        elton    brand
carmelo    anthony        amare    stoudemire
bruce    bowen        antawn    jamison

dwyane    wade        chris    paul
gilbert    arenas        kirk    hinrich
shane    battier        joe    johnson
        Coach K!!!    CUT   
            SHAWN    MARION
            LUKE    RIDNOUR
            ADAM    MORRISON

And now, I will completely dissect it, Bill Simmons style. You see Bill, it's not that I can write exactly like you. It's that you write EXACTLY like me. Well, with way more movie references. I don't always feel like injecting a pop culture phrase that any jabroni can recognize. Do you smeeeeeeellllllllll what The Andrew Meyer is cooking?

(Heheheheh. Yeah, I laugh at my own jokes. And you know what else, "When this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour ... you're gonna see some serious shit."

Anyway, when your column finally appeared in ESPN the Magazine, I ended my subscription to Sports Illustrated forever. I had finally found a writer with MY voice, and I was amazed. Let me put it to you this way:

When I was a kid, I read the Miami Herald sports section daily, so the first voice of reason I discovered in sports journalism was Dan Le Batard, and as I'm sure you've seen for yourself on PTI, he can't quite fill Kornheiser or Wilbon's shoes. Kornheiser and Wilbon are the best. LeBatard, as much as I like him, just doesn't cut the mustard. The LeBatard corollary (as you would call it) definitely applies to Steve Rushin and Rick Reilly. Cut the mustard? Shit, they aren't fit to clean the dust mites in your keyboard with their tongues. Anyway, this is The Andrew Meyer's take on Team USA's current roster.

(And bear in mind, in the past year, I have called A) the Heat winning the championship BEFORE THE SEASON STARTED, both B) the Gator basketball team's early success and C) their successive romp through the tournament, including D) an exact 15 point margin of victory over `Nova. Andrew knows basketball. But more than that, I know MY teams. And the Heat and the Gators are definitely MY teams. Speaking of which, I also knew that Nick Saban would turn the Dolphins around, and that the Marlins would be sick this year.

{Wow, Andrew, you sure know a lot.}

Damn straight. Ask me what else I know.

{What else do you know Andrew?}

I know that the Marlins are the smartest team in baseball, and that Red Sox fans don't know shit. Trust me, I've met enough of the filthy bastards.)

POINT GUARD

As you've said before, Chris Paul is indeed the point guard of the future. But in my opinion, he is also the point guard of the present; the best in the world - right now. He simultaneously took a miserable Hornets team to the brink of the playoffs - in the West, no less - and opened up legendary miser George Shinn's legendarily miserly pocketbook. Coincidence? I think not. The kid is good, real good. Who around can tell him he's second best? (I'm with you Bill, Steve Nash and Jason Kidd are white and can't play defense).

Besides, there are two other white point guards out there better suited [read: Americans who don't kiss anything during free throws] for Team USA than both of them. No, not Jason Williams a.k.a. White Chocolate a.k.a. the man who started 10-10 from the field during the Heat's series-clinching Game 6 victory over that team from Detroit which was recently dismantled. (I may be a Heat fan, but I'm not a Heat fanatic. You see, real Heat fans - not those Johnny-come-lately bandwagon whores you saw in the arena - are pragmatists [read: mostly Jewish]. We knew from the start how special Dwyane Wade was...but we also know that J-Will can't cut the mustard on this squad.) No, the two white point guards of which I speak are Mike Bibby and Kirk Hinrich.

Hinrich, who's Bulls are now unquestionably the #2 team in the East, is a perfect, perfect, PERFECT fit for Team USA. He distributes the ball, attacks the basket, and PLAYS DEFENSE. And he can shoot! And he's white! Did I mention he fits this team perfectly?

Gilbert Arenas does not fit this team perfectly...until you change his position. Arenas is a shoot-first point guard, so Team USA will probably change his position and let him do what he does best: shoot first. To this end, Joe Johnson becomes the #3 point guard, and Arenas drops down into the next category.

SHOOTING GUARD

And what an excellent category it is. But not because of Gilbert Arenas. He's only the second best at this spot. Do you know why? I'm sure you do, but let me clue you in anyway.

Before the 2003 NBA Draft, I remember reading a few blurbs about Dwyane Wade in the Herald, among other places. And do you know what I kept hearing? "He plays like a young MJ." What? A young Michael Jordan? Impossible. Why would a player like that not go in the top 3? I couldn't understand it then, but I do now. Dwyane Wade slipped to the Heat because most NBA general managers are fools, just like most MLB general managers, and most NFL general managers, and most Pizza Hut general managers, and most general managers in general.

It's simple when you think about it. The reason most GMs are bad at their jobs, despite being in such important public positions, is that they are human. And most humans, for the most part, are pretty stupid. We are not logical creatures and, for the most part, we don't make logical decisions. So, if most humans are illogical creatures making illogical decisions, does it come as any surprise that most sports teams are run illogically? Of course not! I would be shocked as hell if sports entering the equation actually DID make people smarter. The people who excel at sports are typically LESS intelligent than the average man, not more. So we have stupid athletes who eventually become stupid coaches who, if they work hard enough, can become stupid GMs. And you're surprised Isiah Thomas is an idiot? I'm surprised there aren't many more like him.

Fortunately, the man who makes decisions for my team is Pat Riley. And Pat Riley is no fool. Let me give you a quick history lesson: Pat Riley built the Miami Heat. He took our infant franchise, which had done exactly NOTHING before he got here, and made us into winners. He brought us Tim Hardaway, Alonzo Mourning, and FOUR STRAIGHT DIVISION TITLES. I repeat: Pat Riley MADE this franchise. If anything, he was screwed by Zo's kidney and Michael Jordan. Isn't it fitting then, for this man, who developed our infant franchise, to have a young MJ and a rejuvenated Zo dropped right in his lap? Isn't it fitting, that the franchise he previously coached to four NBA titles gave him the player he needed to win a championship with his new team? Yes, yes it is. So fitting, in fact, that I saw it coming a year away.

So why couldn't you, Bill? Too caught up in Riley's "bad karma," were you? No worries. You're still a great writer, and one of the few hard-core NBA fans left, right? So, I'm glad then, that you were here to tell everyone about how Dirk was the unstoppable player in the playoffs before his "choke-job", and how David Stern paid off the refs, or whatever it is you need to tell yourself to avoid acknowledging that you COMPLETELY OVERLOOKED THE BEST TEAM IN THE NBA. You and Marc Stein. (Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd be writing.)

Oh, and Shane Battier is an excellent defensive backup.

SMALL FORWARD

Carmelo Anthony is easily one of the top 20 players in the NBA. On this team, that makes him LeBron's understudy. Yes, King James is probably the best player in the NBA (but I'll still take Wade and a title, thank you very much.)

Oh, and Bruce Bowen is an excellent defensive backup.

POWER FORWARD

As you saw first hand this season, Elton Brand has become easily one of the top 10 players in the NBA. He looks nigh-unstoppable, and he deserves to start at power forward for Team USA. But then again, doesn't deserving to start at power forward for Team USA basically mandate that you are nigh-unstoppable? Fun stuff.

Just like that microfracture surgery. Or am I the only one who noticed that Amare Stoudemire MADE THE TEAM? Where the hell did that come from? I need to hear more about this....Andy Katz, are you listening?

Oh, and Antawn Jamison is an excellent...Wizard.

CENTER

Dwight Howard should start at center, with Chris Bosh and Brad Miller as his backups. If only we had a coach smart enough to recognize this....

COACH

Oh wait, we do! Now this is what gets me excited. The one, the only, Coach K. If I could have picked anyone to run this team, it would have been him. In fact, he's so special, so uniquely suited to run this team, that for Team USA purposes only, I think I'll call him Special K. Now that's the stuff.

CUT

Luke Ridnour and Adam Morrison were the last cuts according to this report. But make no mistake, Shawn Marion was cut too. He can cry injury all he wants, but Special K and I know the truth. Marion was the last big name to be cut - for his ex-injured teammate coming off microfracture surgery no less - and nobody wants to make headlines that way. So Special K, classy guy that he is, let Marion fake an injury. Everybody wins. Marion gets to save face, the media still get their story, and best of all, Team USA gets the best roster possible. Thanks Special K!

OUTCOME

With Special K running the show, is it even in doubt? Gold, diamonds, platinum, whatever there is to win, the U.S. isn't losing in basketball for the next 4 years at least.

So Bill, with all that said, there's just one question left:  How exactly did you steal my style? The public schools plant devices in our heads when they "check for lice", don't they? DON'T THEY!?

Oh, and just for kicks, I decided to edit the second half of Andy Katz's excellent and thorough report:

Morrison's coach at Gonzaga, Mark Few, was in attendance and said the forward knew going in he would have a hard time making the squad.

In other news, fast food is unhealthy. Also, birds can fly and the sky is blue.

Ridnour told ESPN.com that while he hadn't been told he definitely wouldn't be going to Asia, he anticipates he'll receive the news. "I'm here for the experience, and if it doesn't happen this summer then I've got two more years,'' Ridnour said. "When they called me during the season they told me that there were a lot of veterans and it would be tough to make it. But I've got a bright future, and I'm excited about it.''

Well that makes one of us.

Ridnour is caught in a logjam at point. Chris Paul of New Orleans/Oklahoma City is expected to compete for starter's minutes. USA coach Mike Krzyzewski of Duke also talked about Hinrich's ability to play pressure defense and finals MVP Dwyane Wade's ball handling skills.

Actually, this is getting pretty boring...END REPORT.

Andy Katz is a senior writer at ESPN.com.
And The Andrew Meyer will be appearing soon on CollegeOfficial.com

Oh, and P.S. Bill -

If you ask me real nice, I'll tell you, and the entire Simmons flock all about what my friends have dubbed: The Meyer Scale. And remember, you may be The Sports Guy, but I'm

THE Andrew Meyer.

I posted recently at John Sickel's Minor League Ball: http://www.minorleagueball.com/story/2006/6/27/134519/808

And I seriously have LOTS of news/stories/opinions coming. Sorry craig, I would have posted part 3 but I haven't had time for SHIT recently. I've been getting my life in order. Oh, and I've been working at Miami Ink.

toodles,

jrfelix

by the way, has anyone thought about how badly we fleeced the cubs? this is on par with mulder for haren, calero, and daric barton. at least mulder is worth something. pierre is a TERRIBLE player. he cant hit, he is bad at defense, and he gets caught stealing all the time. if the cubs had only given us Nolasco, we would have ripped them off. But we got 2 other useful young pitchers as well! Larry Beinfest is the man. Oh, and I was at the game tonight, heckling Rocco Baldelli and Russell Branyan, and I will be back tomorrow. Good times.

In my opinion, it's the Marlins. Willis, Josh Johnson, Scott Olsen, and Ricky Nolasco have been filthy of late, and Anibal Sanchez, who will replace Brian Moehler in the rotation once Larry Beinfest fleeces Omar Minaya for Lastings Milledge, just shutout the Yankees for 6 innings in his first major league start.

But that's just my opinion. You're entitled to pick a team other than the Marlins. You're just wrong.

So it looks like the Marlins will probably be staying in south florida. But what will our team look like in a couple years? chief among my concerns are willis and cabrera. what are the chances we lock up both long-term? will the marlins be stupid enough to trade willis because of a WBC-induced poor start? is there any chance the marlins could resign cabrera after his arbitration years are up, or have their lowballing ways guaranteed he will be a yankee in 200X (when does he become a free agent, anyway?) will the marlins fleece the mets again, trading renyel pinto and change for lastings milledge? whos sticking around, and what positions need change? here is my outlook on what the team will look like when a stadium is finally built:

1B Mike Jacobs - His bat is coming around again, and this time I think its for good. If he finishes the year with a line close to .330/.450 (obp/slg), then he will be with us for the long haul. Possible replacements: J.T. Restko, Brian McCann's brother Brad, Jason Stokes (unlikely).

SS and 2B - Hanley and Uggla are going to be with us for a long time. Thank you Larry Beinfest.

3B - Grant Psomas. Miggy's gone. I dont think theres any way he stays with us after the way management has treated him. Every other young star in the game gets a guaranteed contract for his arbi. years (Harden, Sizemore, etc. etc.), but the Marlins stick Cabrera with the minimum allowable every year. God I hope they change their ways fast, or we'll be seeing him in pinstripes before the decade is over. Anyway, Psomas seems to  have some good OBP and SLG, and could turn out to be a late bloomer a la Dan Uggla. It's not like I can project the Marlins to spend money.

C - Gaby Sanchez. Baseball analysts devoted an entire post to describing his hitting prowess. I can only hope he develops into half the players Bryan Smith thinks he is.

LF - Hammer McWillingham (woo-hoo!) And yes, I stole that name from Maverick's site. It was funny enough to be worth stealing. Arent you glad the Marlins didnt call him up sooner, thus delaying his service time?(yes.)

CF - Lastings Milledge. You know its going to happen. The Mets have given us all the rest of their prospects. One of these days, Beinfest is going to offer Omar Jason Vargas and Carlos Martinez, and the Marlins will have themselves a bona fide CF prospect. Barring that, I can see the Marlins using the #1 pick in the 2007 draft to fill this position. I have no idea if there are any stud OFs worth taking there, but its a convenient way to fill this hole.

RF - Robo-Hermida. Once the Marlins give him a bionic hip, he'll be good to go.

SP1 - Willis. I think the Marlins will be smart enough to lock him up. He's the face of the franchise, and maybe the most marketable pitcher in the big leagues. He's not going anywhere.

SP2 - Scott Olsen. He's good. He's cheap. He's not going anywhere. Take your Joey Gathright and shove it.

SP3 - Josh Johnson. Currently the only starter on the team pitching consistenly well, Johnson should develop into one of the better middle-rotation guys in the league. i like his stuff, and i like his style.

SP4 -  Yusmeiro Petit. Look at the man's stats. He knows how to pitch; and I dont care what any scout has to say about him.

SP5 - Anibal Sanchez. And the Beckett trade comes full circle! Sanchez breaks into the bigs in a big way down the road. And hey, if he doesnt, who cares? Chris Volstad, Aaron Thompson, Ricky Nolasco, Gaby Hernandez, and many others would love to take this spot. No pressure, Anibal.

Well then, I hope everyone can see why I really dont mind watching the Marlins blow every other game this season. With a nucleus of really good young hitters who will remain cheap for a while, and a stash of pitchers developing as we speak, the Marlins look to have the inside track on the 2010 World Series. Now lets just pray they dont win it in San Antonio.
 

tomorrow - or today, technically - i will be tailgating at the marlins game, and then yelling at the opposing team like a/as an drunken idiot. In case you cant recognize me by the screaming, I'm also six feet tall, and will undoubtedly be sporting my signature Beckett jersey with matching beard. I usually go over to right field or the third baseline, but since there might be about twenty people there tomorrow, I could end up anywhere. I just got down from Gainesville, so this is my first home game of the season. GO MARLINS!!!!!!

p.s.: my formal story will destroy those prom stories. give me some time and i will reveal all.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GO GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will return with more elaborate thoughts on this situation at another, more sober time. Good night.

One-line diaries are prohibited on FishStripes. Give your diary a bit more thought, then give it another shot. If you have nothing to add to your proposed diary, then it probably belongs as a comment under another appropriate thread.

The U.S. lost to Canada today by two runs. This is an excerpt from the AP story:

Canada had seven left-handed hitters in the lineup, a situation that played perfectly into the hands of lefty U.S. starter Dontrelle Willis, the first player to commit to playing for the Americans last summer.

But the Canadians (2-0), who had to rally in the ninth Tuesday night to beat South Africa 11-8, were patient, hit Willis hard and scored in each of the first five innings.

"I just didn't do anything right today," Willis said. "It's just one of those games."

...

The United States didn't allow a runner beyond first base in its 2-0 victory over Mexico on Wednesday, but Willis was ineffective and allowed five runs and six hits in 2 2/3 innings. He was relieved by Al Leiter, who surrendered two runs on three hits in two-thirds of an inning.

....

Willis having a bad outing outing doesnt concern me nearly as much as the fact that AL LEITER was brought on in relief. Isn't it just perfect that the difference in the game - 2 runs - is the exact amount that Leiter gave up in TWO THIRDS OF AN INNING. The U.S. lost today because of Al Leiter, not Dontrelle Willis. Willis deserves to be a WBC starter. His having a bad day is something that can happen. Leiter, on the other hand, shouldn't be allowed to wear a baseball jersey EVER AGAIN.

so im sitting here, looking at john's list of upcoming top 20s, and finding myself getting very anxious about not seeing the marlins coming up anytime soon. it was then i realized, my god, im an idiot. why dont i just buy his book? not only am i not getting the full player descriptions anyway, but i am literally craving his marlins top 20 list, which i can own by buying his book and putting next to my toilet permanently.

has anyone else here not bought john's book? am i the only straggler?

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2323116

sorry Jack. It seems as if the Reds want to go with a winner from that club of winners, the Orioles.

One-line diaries are prohibited on FishStripes. Give your diary a bit more thought, then give it another shot. If you have nothing to add to your proposed diary, then it probably belongs as a comment under another appropriate thread.

how similar do you guys think johns 50/50 list will be with Baseballanalysts.com top 75 prospect list? how are they similar as critiquers and how are they different?

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I read this a couple weeks ago, just stumbled upon it again, and realized you guys might enjoy it as well. Without any further ado:

http://www.slate.com/id/2132511/?nav=navoa

Trading Up
The Florida Marlins' ingenious roster-gutting.
By Justin Peters
Posted Friday, Dec. 16, 2005, at 1:58 PM ET

Some people like a little rough trade
In less than a month, the Florida Marlins have traded away their starting catcher, first baseman, second baseman, third baseman, and center fielder; their primary setup man; and Josh Beckett, the starting pitcher who led them to their 2003 World Series title. In return, they've received several prospects, some magic beans, and Sergio Mitre.

The Marlins will likely field the majors' youngest, least-experienced team in 2006. The trades have alienated fans still smarting from the team's 1998 dismantling as well as the city of Miami, which is now less likely than ever to build the baseball-only stadium the team covets. In PR terms, the trades are colossal failures. In baseball terms, they're the smartest moves the team could have made.

The "fire sale"--a rapid sell-off of a team's established players--is the sort of disreputable tactic historically employed by baseball's cheapskate owners. Like a shoe company moving its factory to Mexico to take advantage of cheap labor, teams exchange albatross contracts for younger, less expensive players and/or cash considerations.

One early practitioner was Philadelphia Athletics owner/manager Connie Mack, who had no qualms about selling off the team's "$100,000 infield" to save some dough. (Mack needed the money to spend on high-backed chairs and collar starch.) After winning 99 games in 1914, the team went a putrid 43-109 in 1915 and didn't have a winning season for another decade. During the 1976 season, flamboyant A's owner Charlie Finley tried to sell Vida Blue to the Yankees and Rollie Fingers and Joe Rudi to the Red Sox for a total of $3.5 million. Although the deals were ultimately voided, Fingers and Rudi left via free agency anyway; Blue was traded two years later. The A's went 87-74 in 1976, then 63-98 in 1977; the team didn't return to prominence for a decade.

By the 1990s, MLB's desperation traders wised up. When the Padres traded Gary Sheffield, Bruce Hurst, Tony Fernandez, and Fred McGriff for prospects and no-names in 1992 and 1993, fans turned away in droves. They came back in 1998 when San Diego reached the World Series, with much of the credit going to Trevor Hoffman and Andy Ashby, two players they received via their desperation deals. (They also recovered with a little help from the Marlins' 1998 fire sale, which netted them Kevin Brown.) Likewise, the 2003 World Series champion Marlins relied heavily on Derrek Lee, A.J. Burnett, and Braden Looper--all players acquired in the team's late-1990s purge. And the Indians' 2002 sell-off, which got them Travis Hafner, Coco Crisp, Cliff Lee, and Grady Sizemore, looks like it will bear fruit in a 2006 playoff berth.

In baseball, just like any other business, the goal is to buy low and sell high. The most competent MLB front offices--the Braves, the A's--do this year in and year out, dumping their overpriced, underperforming veterans for cheap, up-and-coming talent. Prudent yearly pruning means you'll never have to face the requisite years-long drought that comes along with a fire sale. It's also much harder to get equal value for your players after alerting the market that everyone's for sale.

But if you've screwed up and get saddled with a bunch of big contracts, the fire sale can be your best friend. For one, it forces your team to commit to rebuilding. When most teams talk about rebuilding, they really mean that they're going to play two rookies and a few "veteran presence" retreads like Todd Hollandsworth and Damion Easley. But nothing ever changes if you repeatedly half-ass your way through a season--you just keep on being the Pirates.

The key to a good fire sale is to get value in return for your overrated nonsuperstars. Three of the players the Marlins dealt--Paul LoDuca, Mike Lowell, and Juan Pierre--played pitifully last year, and only Carlos Delgado and Beckett likely have many good years in front of them. But because this year's free-agent crop was so lackluster, teams had a lot of money to spend and not enough players to spend it on. The Marlins were able to create a new, parallel market for teams that needed bodies. Step right up, Omar Minaya! For just a few pitching prospects, all these bad contracts can be yours!

For the contract-shedding team, the fire sale is a backdoor draft--one in which the general manager has a better idea what kind of players he's getting. Many of the prospects the Marlins acquired--Mike Jacobs, Hanley Ramirez, and Anibal Sanchez, among others--are major-league-ready guys who can step in and contribute soon.

The players gained from a fire sale can also become valuable as future trade bait when your team gets ready to contend. The 1998 Marlins got Preston Wilson in a deal for Mike Piazza; in 2002, they parlayed Wilson into Juan Pierre and Mike Hampton. You can also use your prospects to acquire other prospects--in 1999, the Marlins got Lowell from the Yankees for three mediocre pitchers they acquired in 1998. Stockpiling young talent in the present lets you deal from a position of strength in the future.

So, why don't more teams follow the Marlins' lead? The Tigers, for instance, could have received a bunch of quality players this winter for Ivan Rodriguez; instead, they signed Kenny Rogers and will miss the playoffs again. Teams like the Tigers are afraid to signal to their fans that they're giving up. The guys who run MLB's small-market teams are like the Wizard of Oz, frantically pulling levers behind the scenes--a new manager here, a José Hernandez signing there--to project an illusion of competitiveness. All the while, they're hoping that a house will fall on the Yankees.

The Marlins will suck this year, which will disappoint their 17 fans. But it will be a short-term badness. In two years or so, when the Las Vegas or Portland Marlins are ready to get back to spending, other clubs will still be saddled with the bad contracts that Florida dumped on them this year. As the Marlins have deduced, what goes around comes around.

There are always some prospects that seem to me like they are guaranteed sure-thing major league superstars. Miguel Cabrera, David Wright, and King Felix are some good examples from the recent past. What does your cant-miss team look like?

My team (mostly obvious, but can't miss players should be):

C  Josh Willingham (most will put Salty, but I'm a     homer)
1B Prince Fielder
2B Stephen Drew (because Wood is at 2B)
SS Brandon Wood
3B Ryan Zimmerman
OF Delmon Young
OF Jeremy Hermida
OF Carlos Quentin/Connor Jackson (take your pick)
DH Alex Gordon (blocked by Zim)

SP Jon Papelbon
SP Jon Lester
SP Matt Cain
SP Scott Olsen
SP Yusmeiro Petit

SP/RP Francisco Liriano

CL Jon Broxton

I want to set something straight. Jokes like this:

"Now, throw them in the National League East in place of the franchise that used to be the Florida Marlins."

aren't funny. Not only are they played out and not clever, but they dont even make sense. Disregarding the fact that the Marlins have still won more World Series than ANY FRANCHISE NOT NAMED THE YANKEES over the last 10 years, and that all of you would trade what your team has done over the last decade for what the Marlins have done, the Marlins roster RIGHT NOW isnt terrible. They could probably contend in the NL West. I mean, they arent even close to the worst team in baseball (probably the Royals), and there are at least a half dozen other teams whose roster I wouldn't even consider trading with even if there were no more baseball after this season (Rockies, Pirates and co., I'm looking at you.)

So all you bitter Nationals, Phillies, and Diamondbacks (in this instance) fans need to shut your yaps, because it's obvious you're just jealous of the 2008 World Series champs.

Who is voting for the "Marlins on other teams" option in the above poll? Not real marlins fans. Because that would be complete bullshit. I love Beckett, and I hope he does well, but that's pretty much the end of it. I was a big Pavano fan, but as soon as he left, I didnt really give a fuck about him. Same with Benitez, Choi, and anyone else you want to talk about. There is no way that a true Marlins fan will be rooting for Delgado, Lo Duca, etc. over than the 2006 Florida Marlins, even if they are a AAA team. You're telling me that if Delgado comes to bat against the Marlins in the bottom of the ninth with the Mets down a run, you want to see him hit a home run? No fucking way.

Since everyone on the site has been positively clamoring for me to write again, I thought I might bring this to your attention:

Angels request unconditional release waivers on DaVanon - http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/wire?section=mlb&id=2260436

DaVanon is a quality major leaguer, and he can definately fill a hole for us. I would be way more comfortable with him in LF than Chris Aguila.

ESPN has a story up about the Cubs introducing Pierre. http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2259112

A couple of things interest me. One:

"Hendry said he has been trying to acquire Pierre since the end of the 2003 season, when Pierre hit .305 in the regular season and .301 in the postseason as the Marlins beat the Cubs in the National League championship series and the New York Yankees in the World Series."

I wonder what the Cubs offered after the 2003 WS. I cant even imagine how high they perceived his value to be, especially after all the press he and Castillo received for "igniting the offense." Felix Pie, Corey Patterson, Renyel Pinto...the Marlins probably could have taken anything they wanted short of Mark Prior.

Two:

"'When you have a guy that plays 162 games every year, it makes that guy two stools down think twice about taking a day off,' Hendry said.

Pierre is signed only through the end of this season, but both he and Hendry said want to negotiate a longer deal.

'I hope to be here for a long time,' Pierre said."

The Cubs plan on signing Pierre to a long-term deal? Really? I wonder if that means Pie is back on the market... We still have Ron Villone to trade, right?

For real though, if we're gonna deal pitching prospects for a centerfielder, Olsen for Pie makes a lot more sense than Olsen for Gathright.

I think the Marlins have stumbled ass-backwards into a brilliant strategy: signing free agents with good track records, and then trading them away.

think about it - a contending team or team on the verge of contention should sign a good free agent no matter what, if there is an open spot on the depth chart. why? because you can always trade him.

you can keep stud free agent X, and let him live out the life of the contract, if you want.

or, you can use him as a rent-a-player, keeping him as long as you think your window of opportunity is open. when it closes, you can deal him to the mets or the rangers for half their farm system. For $5 mil, you can have an elite player for half a season, and then trade him for top-notch prospects. brilliant!