Whew, that's a mouthful. The flying anime tumbleweed drop or whatever is a great move because it makes literally no sense. I can, to some extent, understand why you'd want to jump on a guy outside of the ring. I can even, sort of, understand why you'd want to land on him with your spine. (No I can't.) But I really can't understand why you'd want to do a cartwheel before you do it.

The frivolity of the move is made all the more bewildering by the fact that Great Sasuke is apparently a huge jerk in real life, and you wouldn't typically thing a guy who kicks subway passengers half to death would be interested in graceful, convoluted sacrifice moves. I have a hard time understanding people sometimes though. The video is, surprise, after the jiggity jump.

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The falcon arrow is a great move for a number of reasons: It's bizarre, distinctly Japanese name, the fact that Hardcore Holly used to do it, and that it's a roided up version of the Michinoku Driver. However, before I saw the video that awaits you after the jump, I had no idea it could be done in such a head-droppy manner. Thank heavens that it can though, as head-droppiness is the thing that makes Japanese wrestling so great.

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Forgive my absence of the past few days, gentle reader, I was dying of the swine flu. Fortunately, I have survived due to the indomitable human will.

The shooting star press is one of the most incredible moves of all time, largely because it's a backflip but facing... forward? How does that even work? It defies all known laws of physics. The video, found after the jump, shows Evan Bourne doing it. Evan Bourne is one of those guys who I don't think will ever botch a move and hurt himself, so it's a pleasure to see him do such a maneuver.

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I'm sure this move has a name but I don't have an earthly clue what it is. Cryme Tyme are extremely awesome though, on that I think we can all agree. Their commitment to making that money money yeah yeah is one I relate to, but I lack their earning potential. In any event, the best double team maneuver since the 3D is after theeeeeeeeeeeeeee jump!

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Oh boy oh boy, it's time for another exciting episode of ECW on Syfy. What amazing things happened? Find out........ after da cut!

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Ah, Germans. Noted for their efficiency and periodic historical brutality, the German suplex is a fine testament to their savage Teutonic nature. This move is especially awesome because it is sometimes done in legitimate mixed martial arts combat. Why not celebrate the return of the Wrestling Move of the Day by giving your mom a German suplex onto the kitchen floor?

Video after the cut!

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What a delight it is to turn on ECW and be in the midst of the Abraham Washington Show! This segment combined all of my passions which are Long Island bashing, Zack Ryder, and Hootie and the Blowfish. So Abraham is saying his crap and garnering some heel heat when Zack Ryder comes out to save the world. He says "bro" and "woo woo woo" and "you know it" and they both agree, correctly, that Shelton is boring crap. Shelt takes offense to this, incorrectly, and it appears as though we have the makings of a Zack Ryder - Shelton Benjamin feud on our hands!

Ezekiel Jackson and his traps beat a jobber with his "uranage" (Judo snob aside: That's not an uranage!) Then Vladimir Kozlov kills the jobber a little bit extra, and thennnnnnnnnnn Ezekiel Jackson kills the jobber again. The sexual tension is so thick, I could cut it with a knife edge chop.

Tiffany and the Bellas discuss some crap, then a ~*~regular girl~*~ tells Tiffany some crap. Then a marauding black box almost kills the regular girl but it is stopped by THE HURRICANE who is mighty. At this point, an unidentified man (possibly Paul Burchill, possibly anyone in the entire world) notes that this is ridiculous. Uh duh.

Next up is a dandy little match between the capable journeyman Goldust and the pale new guy Sheamus. Sheamus is big, I guess, and he doesn't suck. So let's hope good things for him. Sheamus picks up the win with a legpick off the second rope. A pretty awesome end to a decent match, and Goldust extracts his revenge post match. Am I... Am I becoming a Goldust mark? Sure!

Our main event sees the frequently and unfairly maligned Tommy Dreamer versus the "heavyweight" champion of the world, Christian. They have a... match. It was fine but I was hoping for more chaos given the extreme nature of the match. Anyway, Christian wins with the killswitch on a car door which is, I guess, at least a pretty inventive weapon.

That's the show!

I still remember the first time I ever saw the moonsault: It was the 123 Kid's stunning upset of Razor Ramon. I must have been 12 years old or so and I was a huge mark for Razor but I couldn't possibly get mad because I had just witnessed the coolest move I'd ever seen. Nowadays we see moonsaults all the time but they're still pretty amazing! Let's see you do a backflip off some rickety ass little post and land stomach first on some mook.

Here's Zack Gowen doing it, made all the more impressive because homeboy's missing a leg.

Sometimes the simplest moves are the best. I remember as a mere 13 or 14 year old getting scoop slammed by a friend and it knocked the wind out of me so bad. Based on that experience, I can only surmise that there is no more painful maneuver.

The scoop slam also satisfies a primal urge within all of us; to scoop up a man and then slam him.

Who among us does not love the powerbomb? Of all wrestling maneuvers, the powerbomb is almost certainly the one that sucks the most to take. It's such a great move because it looks super impressive even to non-wrestling fans. Here is Eddie powerbombing a woman because he was evil and also was awesome.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/sports_blog/2009/07/fedor-emelianenko-ufc-finalizing-deal.html

This gets a big Missouri booyah from the Show Me State, Jim.

I have always considered the senton bomb to be among the more underrated of jumping-and-landing-on-your-opponent type maneuvers. While there is some give to, say, the underside of a leg or the belly, the lumbar spine is a portion of the body that is rigid and when attached to a somewhat hefty man, I really don't see how it can be performed without genuinely crushing your foe.

Jeff Hardy's senton, in my opinion, sort of deflects the force away from the opponent and for that reason I much prefer Dick Togo's senton where all force is directed straight down onto his victim.

No doubt hilarious commentary will be forthcoming at http://twitter.com/THE_REAL_SHAQ

Diminutive ginger Seth Green inserted himself into the main event of tonight's Raw which was, otherwise, a remarkably uninteresting program.

Beginning with an opening segment in which we learned Seth Green was small, (this was established a number of times throughout the program) Green booked a main event of himself, Triple H, and John Cena vs Randy Orton and his hated contingent of goons, Legacy.

Seth Green actually saw some action in the main event, punching Cody Rhodes right in the maw and then also breaking up a pin on Triple H. However, typical WWE antics ended the match in a no contest which was bad for the business and I expect to read all about the poor sportsmanship on numerous blogs tomorrow.

In other, non Seth Green related news, Chris Jericho announced that he would be picking a new tag team partner. He was then beat up by Mark Henry who is working a jovial bully gimmick. Also, a number of women wrestled while wearing bikinis. I don't know what the hell.

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