Normally I hate these sorts of things, yet here I went and put one together...

Ralph "Ralphie" Parker (Texas A&M) wants only one thing for Christmas, a Red Ryder BB Gun (the SEC). While using various schemes to try to get him this gift he continually bumps into objections from others. Ralphie will do anything to not have to make nice with the Pink Bunny pajamas (Longhorn Network).

Scut Farkus (Texas) is the neighborhood bully. He is an enemy to everyone, even toadie Grover Dill (Texas Tech), who gets his shoulder punches in once in awhile but is careful not to cross the line and will stick by Farkus hoping to ride Farkus' coattails wherever he goes. Toadie Grover Dill (Tech) only hopes that Farkus does not choose to go independent, leaving Dill with nowhere to turn. Scut Farkus (Texas) has little actual connection to the Pink Bunny pajamas (LHN) because they were really created and developed by Aunt Clara (ESPN), but Farkus would not hesitate to use the Pink Bunny pajamas (LHN) in any way possible to further bully Ralphie (A&M).

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