SB Nation User Blog: kidbourbon

How to Taunt a Georgia Fan

kidbourbon — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 18:03:50 -0000

How to Taunt a Georgia Fan

This is a Fanshot linking to a Fanpost I just did on a different SBNation blog, DawgSports. It was inspired by this DawgSports article: http://www.dawgsports.com/2009/6/29/929975/your-mascot-is-so-ugly-how-to, which set me adrift on memory bliss.

Has this ever been done before? Is the spactime continuum fixing to unravel?

How to Taunt a Georgia Fan

kidbourbon — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:56:25 -0000

Disclosure: I am a UT fan. 1998 was my freshman year at UT. We played UGA in Athens, but I didn't make it down for the game. We won that game. We won all our games that year.

So, the UT/UGA game in Knoxville in 1999 was my first ever UT/UGA game. Before I go any further, I should make two points:

1) I am one of the best hecklers I know. I love talking smack. I still love talking smack even though I am well beyond the age of it being considered condonable. So, you can imagine me at age 19.

2) Rightly or wrongly, I was absolutely and totally confident that UT would win this game. Georgia hadn't beaten UT since the Reagan administration, and I just considered UGA to be mediocre to UT's elite. And this actually wasn't unreasonable in 1999.

I talked so much smack before that game to UGA fans. I don't know why...maybe I was just in the mood. Of course, I would mention that they hadn't beaten us in their last nine tries. But I didn't find that to be totally effective in enraging the gentlemen clad in red pants.

What really really really got under their skin is when I started going into my "Herschel" routine. I didn't even need to be clever about it. Just yelling "HERSCHEL" in a particular mocking tone was just as effective as asking a UGA fan "is Herschel coming?" or sarcastically telling them that the UT defense was really concerned about this Herschel kid.

The implication in this mean-spirited heckling that I participated in was that the UGA fans were still living in the past and clinging on to memories of Herschel Walker. It might not work as well today. But in 1999...good lord I made some UGA fans very very angry. Some of my best heckling ever. And, at the time, DEFINITELY the most effective way of taunting a UGA fan.

Zach Fulton -- New OL Commit ($)

kidbourbon — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:12:52 -0000

Zach Fulton -- New OL Commit ($)

Zach Fulton, the OL out of Illinois who was named best OL at our camp, is now a Vol. I'm sure this information will be free before too long.

The King of Pop, dead at age 50

kidbourbon — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:52:28 -0000

The King of Pop, dead at age 50

He played a concert at Neyland, so, yes, this is relevant. Has there ever been another concert at Neyland?

Lane Kiffin Show with Nick Saban

kidbourbon — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:33:21 -0000

Lane Kiffin Show with Nick Saban

Some people think these things are stupid. But I actually think they are kind of funny.

This drops a wordy dird or two. My mistake if that isn't allowed.

My Basis for Believing Kiffin Will Succeed -- A Response to Kyle

kidbourbon — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 17:11:07 -0000

Good morning, Blutarsky constituents! See also this morning's 3 reasons to believe Lane Kiffin can succeed.

Note: I hastily posted this as a comment to this DawgSports article (There Simply is No Basis for Believing Kiffin Will Succeed). I must have been typing unusually fast in my haste, because a lot of words came out. And I hate it when words go unread. So I decided to plagiarize myself....if that is even possible (I did edit out a typo and a sentence I didn't like).

Overdramatic Intro:
I met a very interesting person today. A time traveler. He had traveled all the way to December 2012, and was an avid college football fan. At first he seemed quite reasonable. He intelligently articulated clearly defined parameters for "success" vs. "failure" and then engagingly asked me whether I thought Lane Kiffin would be a success or a failure in his coaching stint at UT. Before I could answer, though, this time-traveling stranger got very hostile. He pulled out a loaded gun, pointed it right at my temple, and repeated the question. Answer correctly, I live. Answer incorrectly, I die. Oh yeah, and he gave me three seconds to answer. I chose success. I felt like it gave me the best chance of, you know, not dying.

Proceeding to the non-fiction Aisle:
Okay, so that story was fictional and we’ll never know whether I lived happily ever after or whether the janitor had to stay late and bring an extra mop. But the choice I gave in the story is the choice I would give if faced with that scenario in real life.

Why? Well here goes…..

We don’t know much about Lane Kiffin, but we know a little. Enough, I think, for this young attorney to reasonably infer that Kiffin is more likely to succeed as a coach than fail.

(1)
We know that Kiffin had great success as an offensive coordinator at USC. This is fact. It is not open for debate. But you, and every other Kiffin contrarian, and every other Kiffin’s contrarian’s cousin can barely contain yourselves right now. You are dying to toss out two counterpoints. Likely something along the lines of:
(a) We really don’t know what Kiffin’s role in that offense was. Was he only co-coordinator, remember? It isn’t clear whether he was calling the plays, running the practices, or doing any of that other important stuff.
(b) My brother’s six year old kid could have had success with an offense featuring Bush and Leinart.

My response to point (a) is that I don’t really know either. But it is much more reasonable to assume that Kiffin did something and wasn’t just Sarkisian’s sidekick. Carroll gave Kiffin the title for a reason, and it wasn’t just to help keep him around as long as possible (a la what UT is currently doing with Orgeron) because Kiffin was not yet a household name and — absent that title — his value on the coaching market would not have been off the charts.

My response to point (b) is that it is possible to not have success with an offense that includes two first round draft picks at the skill positions. Just ask Mark Richt.

(2)
Kiffin has a year and a quarter of NFL experience. And not just as a position coach or a coordinator, but as a head coach. The head coach being the main guy: running the practices, delegating to assistants, being the final decisionmaker….and all the rest of it. Sure, he didn’t have great success in the NFL. But he was not exactly dealt pocket aces either. The Raiders were 2-14 in 2006. In 2007, with Kiffin, they were 4-12. They were 1-4 when he got fired the next year. They ended up at 5-11….winning at roughly the same clip with Kiffin as without him. Did he turn the franchise around? No, he did not. But he did get two more wins in his first year than they got the previous year….the team did improve.

And on top of all that, how many examples of coaches failing in the pro’s but winning in college do we have to see before we all come to the collective conclusion that success at the NFL level is in no way relevant to success at the collegiate level. There are several examples that I won’t list because you already know them.

(3)
Probably because he did not have resounding success with the Raiders, and left under extremely weird circumstances, Kiffin has done everything in his power to ensure that the Vols become a successful program. He has put himself in a position to succeed. He brought in a legendary defensive coordinator. He brought in the best recruiter in the business. He brought in a stable of other very good assistant coaches — who may not be household names like the elder Kiffin and Orgeron — but who are, by all accounts, very good coaches.

(4)
He showed right at the outset that he does have some recruiting chops. If it is impossible to fail running an offense with Reggie Bush (but, of course, not Knowshon Moreno) as your tailback, well then it will be pretty darn tough to fail running an offense with Bryce Brown at the same position.

So, is he a great X’s and O’s coach? Honestly, I really don’t know. But for a guy who has had a had in a great offense before, has had experience running the show at the pro level, and who has enough sense to surround himself with the best coaches in the business….I think it is fair to say he isn’t stupid. Yeah, he pops off. But that doesn’t make him stupid. Heck, my moniker is kidbourbon, but that doesn't mean I swill Jim Beam all day.

In view of the above, I respectfully conclude that Kiffin will succeed as the head coach of the University of Tennessee Volunteers. And let the record show that I would stake my life on that (if forced to).

KB

P.S. -- Joel: are there any recommended guidelines for inclusion vs. exclusion of "The Jump" in a fanpost? I didn't use "The Jump" because I figured any who is reading this has already clicked on one link...why make them click on another. But to the extent that you ever want to bump a fanpost of mine to the main page, feel free to use full discretion in inserting "The Jump." My brother is a journalist, and so I have been well-informed on the importance of page aesthetics.

[Note by Joel, 06/10/09 3:25 PM EDT ] No real rule. Guideline is about 300 words before the jump -- something like that. Enjoyed the post.

Why I Like Lane Kiffin: The Brevity Version

kidbourbon — Wed, 27 May 2009 23:05:21 -0000

Joel and I certainly weren't lying to anybody when we wrote about the ridiculous amount of media attention bestowed upon our esteemed head coach.

Here is an article that posted after my last FanPost (http://www.cbssports.com/collegefootball/story/11789585). I link this not because it's mindblowing, but because I really like Bruce Pearl's take on Kiffin.

Pearl is the guy who advised Kiffin that it's good to be hated. That means you're doing something right in the SEC.

"My goal was to be the least popular coach in the SEC in a year," Pearl said. "He managed to do it in a week.

"I know one of the biggest problems when I took over was the players didn't believe. What I'm saying is, your coach better believe. He's got something different ... I get him. I get him in the sense that, look at how they're recruiting. You have to do that with a certain confidence and a certain swagger. He's probably said some things that other people were probably afraid to say.

The roughly eight thousand or so anti-Kiffin articles written over the last couple months can be pretty well summed up in a single sentence. Something to the effect of: "Kiffin should win a little before he starts talking smack."

Wrong.

The truth of the matter -- which Pearl gets right at -- is that Kiffin has to talk smack before he wins...because it is that very smack talk that is going to help him win. Now I'm not saying that this is a maxim that applies to all aspects of life. I like humility as much as the next guy, and I recognize that superior performance should normally be the horse to self-promotion's cart. But exceptions exist for a reason. UT needed an injection of swagger, not humility. And Kiffin came bearing a syringe full of the former.

That's why I like Lane Kiffin. At least that's the short answer.

The Google News Test: Why I Love Lane Kiffin

kidbourbon — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 03:18:07 -0000

NOTE: I initially began writing this FanPost about two months ago. I stopped in the middle for reasons I can't remember, and then just forgot about it. Then I read Joel's "Talking Points: Lane Kiffin a Material Mill for National Media" post from earlier today, and I decided to pull up the unfinished draft and post 'er up. So, thanks for the inspiration, Joel. And I hope you don't mind me posting this variation on your earlier theme.

The late Rick James famously said "Cocaine is a helluva drug."

As a professional argument-maker who spends a substantial majority of his waking hours in front of a computer with a working broadband connection, I can confidently state that "the Internet is also a helluva drug." Perhaps it is a generational thing, a bad habit, or a bad habit caused and fueled by generational things. Either way, it is an undeniable addiction. Do a little work, check a couple sites. Do some more work, check some different sites. Rinse, lather, repeat. These are the days of my life.

I'm not complaining. I have always been a huge sports fan, and the internet lets me follow sports more closely: read mainstream media articles, read blogs (RTT being blog #1, of course), post on message boards, get analysis and predictions from 360 different angles. I eat it all up.

The internet has let me down before. Specifically, it lets me down most every baseball seasons. I don't follow baseball. I don’t like anything about baseball (exception: going to the games). I definitely don't want to read about baseball. So I don't. One could argue that this is a good thing. One could definitely make that argument if one was my boss. But now that Lane Kiffin has arrived on the scene, such an argument is academic.

With Lane Kiffin around, I will *never* reach the end of the internet. Don't believe me? Try it yourself. Do a google news search on "Lane Kiffin" one a day. See how many articles pop up. You will be astounded. Actually, do it tomorrow because I did it for you today. So, just in case you wanted to do some light reading from any of a variety of sources -- national media, local media (Knoxville and elsewhere in these United States), blogs, scout, rivals -- take your pick from the following. All of these are within the last five or six days. And this isn’t an outlier week. This is pretty much the norm.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4195828
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/football/sec/2009-05-20-lane-kiffin_N.htm
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4181532
http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/the_sporting_blog/entry/view/24552/does_lane_kiffin_understand_sec_football?_hes_about_to,_according_to_todd_helton
http://today.sportingnews.com/sportingnewstoday/20090526/?pg=1
http://www.cbssports.com/spin/story/11772824
http://cfn.scout.com/2/867506.html
http://www.dothaneagle.com/dea/sports/columnists/article/kiffin_has_ut_in_spotlight/73752/
http://blogs.ajc.com/barnhart-college-football/2009/05/26/sec-commish-to-coaches-knock-it-off/?cxntfid=blogs_barnhart_college_football
http://www.al.com/sports/press-register/thicks.ssf?/base/sports/1243242946226050.xml&coll=3
http://blogs.ajc.com/barnhart-college-football/2009/05/21/the-lessons-to-be-learned-from-pahokee-gate/?cxntfid=blogs_barnhart_college_football
http://www.freep.com/article/20090524/SPORTS18/905240488/1053/SPORTS/This+week+s+awards++Niklas+Kronwall++Lane+Kiffin++Michael+Vick+and+more
http://www.arkansasbusiness.com/sports_blog_post.asp?pID=4534
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/183099-lane-kiffins-keys-to-success
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/182879-did-lane-kiffin-collude-with-michael-lombardi-in-the-randy-moss-trade
http://mrsec.com/story/kiffin-and-saban-talk-trash-talk-in-the-sporting-news-today
http://www.teamspeedkills.com/2009/5/21/881777/lane-kiffin-doesnt-like-your
http://tennessee.scout.com/2/866886.html
http://alabama.scout.com/a.z?s=14&p=2&c=867016&ssf=1&RequestedURL=http%3a%2f%2falabama.scout.com%2fa.z%3fs%3d14%26p%3d2%26c%3d867016
http://www.tennessean.com/article/20090525/COLUMNIST0202/905250324/1002/SPORTS
http://www.govolsxtra.com/news/2009/may/20/ut-report-violation-over-twitter-note/

I'm stopping. I could keep going, but there are just so many -- I don't know when the list would end. From this litany of articles it is quite apparent that some writers like to portray Kiffin in a negative manner, while other writers like to give him a positive spin. But they all LOVE to write about him.

In sum, thank you Lane Kiffin for graciously giving me so much reading material when I would otherwise have very little to peruse. For this reason alone, I like you. My boss, on the other hand.....

Cal parting ways with WWW?

kidbourbon — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 22:57:49 -0000

Cal parting ways with WWW?

Cal must think UK basketball is bigger than WWW, which is of course preposterous.

Cal to UK a real possibility

kidbourbon — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 15:17:28 -0000

Cal to UK a real possibility

I don't like the sound of this. This would be bad for UT