less cowbell, more 'neau

  • joined Jun 18, 2009
  • last login Jul 12, 2014
  • posts 180
  • comments 29334

There's nothing to see here! Move along!
My "total homerism" score ranks second only to 33MorneauMVP!

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User Blog

Twins barbershop quartet


Twins pitchers Mike Pelfrey, Ricky Nolasco, Glen Perkins, and Phil Hughes sing "We're Gonna Win Twins!"

BTBS's 2014 Season Preview: Minnesota Twins


*** Spoiler Alert ***

The Twins need to throw as much spaghetti against the wall as they can to see what sticks so that the fresh meatball marinara sauce of Buxton and Sano, combined with the aged parmesan flavor of Joe Mauer, can produce a Flying Spaghetti Monster in 2015. In 2014, though, it's still spaghetti against a wall without any sauce, so it won't be good.

T.C. heads to Spring Training


This is a video of T.C. Bear getting ready for Spring Training. There, happy now SBN?

The, Baseball Game Will Be Televised

Less Cowbell, More 'Neau discusses the nation's changing blackout policies.

KSTP's Post Game Coverage of Twins 1987 WS Victory


October 25, 1987: The Minnesota Twins moments ago had won game 7 of the World Series. The first for the franchise since 1924 (as the Washington Senators) and the first in Minnesota. Stan Turner, Ruth Spencer, and the entire KSTP Sports team provide team coverage of this historic event.

Sabermetricians Forced To Rethink Entire Sport

Panicked Sabermetricians Forced To Rethink Entire Sport After Discovering They Missed At Bat From Lou Brock On August 3, 1975 PHOENIX—The entire field of sabermetrics was thrown into a frenzied panic Thursday after a previously undocumented at bat from former St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Lou Brock on August 3, 1975 forced sabermetricians to completely rethink their understanding of the sport of baseball. "So if you plug Brock’s 3-2 count and ground out into the OPS formula, the standard deviation and expected value for every single player and team is completely off—goddammit, none of this makes sense now," said visibly anxious Society for American Baseball Research sabermetrician Tony Branham, sweating profusely as he pored over thousands of pages of statistics from the last 30 MLB seasons. "The Total Pitcher Index, Wins Above Replacement, Batter-Fielder Wins, batting averages, ERAs, RBIs—that one third-inning at bat against the Cubs makes all of this stuff meaningless. How the hell does baseball work?" At press time, based on the new understanding of sabermetrics, Braham confirmed that former New York Yankees first baseman Mickey Mantle did not actually exist. From The Onion.

Pirates Activate Francisco Liriano


The veteran lefty will make his Pittsburgh debut Saturday against the Mets.

Manny Being Manny...

1 Taiwan. Maybe we should re-examine the whole "Manny at SS for the Twins" thing.

It was the Blurst of Times...


Twins make Grant Bisbee's "The 10 worst moves" list by signing Kevin Correia to a 2 year deal. Also Delmon Young. Link above

Twins: Could Jim Thome call Target Field his home one more time?


Free agent and future Hall of Fame slugger Jim Thome, whose 612 homers are seventh on the all-time list, is looking for a job. Could the Twins be an option? The Twins had a conversation with Thome's camp about a month ago, according to a person with knowledge of discussions. While there hasn't been recent contact, the sides could pick up where they left off. Thome, 42, played 179 games with the Twins from the start of the 2010 season through August of 2011, batting .266 with 37 homers and 99 RBI and enjoying his time with the club before he was traded to Cleveland. He's working out in Arizona, hoping to get another chance. He told last week that he was serious about about continuing his career. ``My plan is to kind of stay in shape and see what happens," Thome said. ``If a team calls for me, mentally, I want to know I’m ready to go." Twins manager Ron Gardenhire said last week that he would like some thump off the bench. Thome could provide that as a pinch hitter and occasional starter at designated hitter. ``I know we want a little more something off the bench instead of two utility guys and a backup catcher.'' Gardenhire said. ``I’m going to have a better bench and have a little more weapons. So we’re going to do that. whatever that entails, that’s what we’re going to do." The foxsports article indicated that Thome desired a guaranteed roster spot, which might scare clubs off. If Thome is willing to sign a minor league deal with a camp invite and a good chance to make the team, then the Twins, Indians and other teams could increase their interest. By LaVelle E. Neal III at the Strib

More Changes to Twinkie Town Coming?


WANTED! Beta Testers for SB Nation We are looking for regular readers, commenters as well as site editors, moderators, and authors to sign up for our Beta Tester Program. As a member of the program you will be asked at various times to provide feedback and input that will help us build a better user experience.

Pavano ruptures spleen, will miss up to eight weeks


"More health problems for free-agent right-hander Carl Pavano could postpone his signing with a new team, as the former Twins starter ruptured his spleen while shoveling snow on his driveway and will be sidelined for six to eight weeks, according to Ken Rosenthal of and MLB Network. Also per the report, Pavano's agent has declined comment." By Gary Cotton,


Joe Mauer and Maddie Bisanz Married

via via Joe and Maddie got married at Nativity of Our Lord Catholic Church in St. Paul with the reception at The...

VIDEO: Justin Morneau and Josh Willingham shot into space, attacked by aliens!


VIDEO: Justin Morneau and Josh Willingham shot into space, attacked by aliens!

Mauer Golfs While Twins Hot Stove Burns


^^Link to video^ "Well, I've been resting..." Mauer said glibly.

Ozzie Guillen Fired


He still has $7.5 million left on his contract. Ozzie and Gardy get along pretty well. Any positions open? Also if I post this and no one sees it, does it exist?

Morneau, Willingham Likely Done for the Season


Morneau: Morneau said he's physically worn down after playing in 134 games, which is the most he's played in since playing in 135 in 2009. But he added that it wasn't his decision, as he enjoys playing in his native Canada. "I think it's more of the manager protecting his player than anything," Morneau said. Willingham: Willingham, who injured his shoulder trying to make a leaping catch in left field on Sept. 24, is still having trouble swinging the bat. "He can't reach up with his left arm or finish his swing with his left arm, so in my opinion he probably won't be in there the rest of the way," Twins manager Ron Gardenhire said. By Rhett Bollinger /

Pavano Vows to Pitch Again Next Season


"I don't want to go out this way, I know that," he said. Asked if he'd like to return to Minnesota, he said, "Of course." By John Shipley at the PP.

Joe Mauer 2008 All-Star T-shirt for a steal on eBay. Link


Joe Mauer 2008 All-Star T-shirt for a steal on eBay. Link

Brad Radke Sega commercial. Chihuahua!


Brad Radke Sega commercial. Chihuahua!

Head & Shoulders Mane Man of the Day: Joe Mauer


Joe Mauer hits a grand slam and picks off a Royal trying to steal 2nd. No embed code, sorry.

It's (almost) official: Twins to host MLB All-Star Game


Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig is expected in Minneapolis Wednesday to announce that the Minnesota Twins will indeed host the All-Star Game in 2014. A league spokesman in New York declined to confirm or deny Selig's travel schedule, but he confirmed that the game's location will be named Wednesday. I heard it on MPR

Carl Pavano Shut Down for Season After new Diagnosis


OAKLAND, Calif. -- Carl Pavano's season, and maybe his Minnesota Twins career, is over. And he's frustrated. An MRI and examination by specialist Dr. David Altchek of the pitcher's sore right shoulder, bothering Pavano since spring training, revealed a bruise on his humerus bone that requires rest alone to heal. "It's too bad it took three months diagnose that," Pavano said Tuesday, Aug. 21, from New York. "I could have been resting." From John Shipley at PP

Rob Antony Comments on Nishioka, Blackburn


On Blackburn: "I talked to Nick today, let him know and told him, ‘Go down there, try and get straightened out and when September comes we’ll evaluate the situation,’" Antony said. "There’s no guarantees he’ll come back. We could select him and bring him back if we want, or he could not be back this year — whatever we think is the right situation when the time comes." On Nishi: "I’m sure it’s a pride thing for any player," Antony said. "No. 1, it’s tough to be in the minor leagues; but No. 2, when you’re taken off the major league roster and 29 other clubs pass on you, it tells you you’re not doing very well."

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