Before I start, many many apologies, including Toho, the creators of Godzilla, Blue Oyster Cult, who wrote the song I'm about to destroy, and everyone at AN who have done song parodies before me.  Here goes:

Godzilla (to the tune of Blue Oyster Cult's original)

They work out a contract and give him a pen
He happily signs and so it begins

Ownership smiles, the offense reborn
He's handing a writer Japanese porn

Foreign reporters, Japanese fans
And maybe some better food in the stands?

Oh no, Mt. Davis has to go
Go Go Godzilla!

Dear God, Did Geren bat him leadoff?
Go Go Godzilla!

Watch where you throw - he has a black belt in Judo*
Go Go Godzilla!

Pitch inside, he'll rope it down the line
Go Go Godzilla!

Oh no, reporters love him so
Go Go Godzilla!

Did you know he had a cameo
Against Mechagodzilla?

A decent signing this time of year, bringing Oakland holiday cheer
Godzilla!

Add pop to the lineup however they can, they're trying to put some butts in the stands
Godzilla!

A new DH to put runs on the board, let's sign that guy Beltre and bring in some more
Godzilla!

Put playoff baseball back in the East Bay and watch the Giants fans fade away
Godzilla!

*Matsui was once slapped by one of his junior high school managers after he had angrily thrown a bat at an opposing pitcher who refused to challenge him.  He made a vow to his father at age 14 to never say or do a hurtful thing to another living human being ever again.  Hideki probably wouldn't use his Judo skills on the guy, but he is 6'2" so I wouldn't throw at him anyway.

Yes, I'm excited, maybe a little too much, by this signing.  But anyone out there who wishes to read up on our new DH should check out "The Samurai Way of Baseball: The Impact of Ichiro and the New Wave From Japan" by Robert Whiting.

Not too much going on today, but we can't live without the DLD.  And no, that's not an attempt to mooch $10.

We lost last night, but our beloved A's will be looking to rebound at 5:11 (5:11? Where did they come up with that one?) tonight.  Colby Lewis will be making his debut against John Danks.

There was talk about Giambi the last few days, and while MLB discussed it, they're not going to meet with him yet.

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I'm a fan of the DLD, and I always wanted to make one.  I guess I could have made one all along, but I never felt like I had enough to say.  Well, here goes.

Happy Birthday to:

Jet Li,
Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins of TLC,
Jordana Brewster,
Channing Tatum,
. . . and malikot!

Please excuse the cheesiness of the photo.  That's a pre-game shot of me advertising my favorite in game snack while giving my best Filipino smile.

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I'm sorry if I am simply repeating something that has already been posted.  Is there any way someone can post a key to all the frequently used statistical terms here on AN?  I guess I'm a bit of an "old school" fan when it comes to stats.  While I get the gist of a player's VORP, I probably wouldn't know the difference between a WHIP and a LOOGY if they both pulled up a barstool and bought me a shot.  Perhaps there is a link to another site that has these explained.  But if not, can someone please post the terms, what they stand for, and how they're calculated?