SB Nation User Blog: manphibian

C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog, Hamburger

manphibian — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:05:27 -0000

C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog, Hamburger

MILWAUKEE—The Brewers' playoff push has run afoul of an unusual distraction, as sources close to the organization confirm that newly acquired husky starting pitcher C.C. Sabathia and sizable power-hitting first baseman Prince Fielder continue to visualize one another as a 6'7" chili cheese dog and a 260-pound hamburger with all the trimmings, respectively.

Team insiders say the problem has become a serious disruption, with numerous incidences of each player tying a bib around his neck, holding a knife and fork in their outstretched hands, and chasing the other around the ballpark.

"I should have noticed something was wrong weeks ago, when Prince, who has always had a certain fascination with the sausage races, expressed delight that we had 'signed Cleveland's huge chili cheese dog' and welcomed C.C. to the team by coating him liberally with celery salt and mustard," said manager Ned Yost. "And in his very first start, C.C. praised the way our 'great big hamburger' was hitting, and kept trying to pick off runners at first base by throwing ketchup and extra cheese to Prince."

Although both Fielder and Sabathia are major factors in the Brewer's playoff plans, their teammates admit that their recent displays of appetite have been a bit unnerving.

"Usually, the other players step in before one of them takes a bite out of the other," said Brewers reliever David Riske. "But the whole thing is pretty unsettling. Sabathia and I were getting our arms rubbed the other day, just kind of stretching them out across the massage table, when suddenly an empty jar of relish rolled by. I looked up, and Prince had put a huge hot dog bun and all the trimmings on Sabathia's arm when he wasn't paying attention. C.C. pulled himself out at the last minute, but when Prince's teeth came together, it made a chomping sound you could hear throughout the clubhouse."

Sabathia responded by chasing Fielder around the clubhouse with a pair of giant salt and pepper shakers.

On Monday, Yost announced that any player who attempted to devour another, no matter how delicious they seemed to appear, would be subject to disciplinary action. However, like many disciplinary measures involving athletes, the decree seemed only to make those involved more cunning.

"I was using the hot tub to ease some soreness the other day with Prince, who had nodded off, when C.C. came in carrying these grocery bags," said third baseman Bill Hall. "I had just noticed that something smelled really good when I realized that C.C. was cutting up vegetables and throwing them in the hot tub with Prince, alongside plenty of noodles and spices, to make some sort of hamburger casserole."

Luckily, Fielder woke up before the mixture thickened and retaliated by attempting to trap Sabathia in the steam room along with a bag of mesquite-flavored grilling charcoal.

"This has to end," Yost admitted to reporters as the Brewers readied themselves for a four-game series against St. Louis. "We can't have players trying to eat one another, even in Milwaukee, so we're taking steps. We've already talked to both players, explaining that while they are big, they are not food. And as a provisional measure, we've gotten Ray Durham from the Giants in the hopes that both Prince and C.C. will think he's a giant ham and leave one another alone."

Orlando Hudson Just Striking Out To Crack Up Teammates

manphibian — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 04:24:49 -0000

Orlando Hudson Just Striking Out To Crack Up Teammates

PHOENIX—Arizona Diamondbacks second baseman Orlando Hudson has been intentionally striking out in an effort to make his teammates laugh, team sources told reporters. Hudson, who struck out in every plate appearance Tuesday against the Oakland A's, was overheard saying "Check this out" to teammates Justin Upton and Chris Young before intentionally taking a third strike during his first at-bat; swinging wildly high and wide at a pitch thrown low and inside; swinging several seconds after the ball had been caught by the catcher for a third strikeout; and during his fourth appearance at the plate, dropping his bat and starting to remove his batting gloves before the pitcher had even thrown the baseball. Upon walking back to the dugout, Hudson reportedly pretended to be disappointed with his performance by yelling, "Jeez, I just don't know what's wrong with me lately," causing his teammates further amusement. Following the game, Diamondbacks manager Bob Melvin told Hudson that he could see what Hudson was doing and that he had better cut it out.

Minor leaguer traded for 10 bats

manphibian — Sat, 24 May 2008 05:30:16 -0000

Minor leaguer traded for 10 bats

Jamie D'Antona

manphibian — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:14:49 -0000

Some off day discussion, from The Baseball Analysts blog today;

Jamie D'Antona is hitting .430 for Arizona's Tucson affiliate in the Pacific Coast League (AAA). Yes, FOUR THIRTY.
YEAR   G  AB   H  2B  3B  HR  BB  SO  AVG  OBP  SLG  
2008  40 142  61  17   0   6   3  19 .430 .445 .676
Primarily a third baseman, D'Antona has also played first base and catcher this year. At worst, he profiles as a backup corner infielder and emergency catcher for a major league team. A second-round pick out of Wake Forest in 2003, D'Antona led the short-season Northwest League with 15 home runs that summer, then hit .315/.353/.531 in a half-season at high Class A Lancaster in 2004. Promoted to AA, he struggled (.211/.233/.282 in 73 plate appearances) for the first time, showed minimal progress (.249/.322/.385) at the same level in 2005, repeated at Tennessee as a 24-year-old in 2006 and rebounded to hit over .300 with 17 HR.

The 6-foot-2, 220-pound free swinger moved up to AAA last season and put up an .861 OPS. Blocked by Mark Reynolds and Conor Jackson, he returned to Tucson and is drawing more attention than walks for his eye-opening batting average. However, D'Antona is hitting .470 on balls in play in a favorable ballpark and league environment. I think he is a tweener but, in light of the fact that journeymen Luis Maza and Terry Tiffee are also hitting over .400 in the PCL, I would discount D'Antona's batting average quite a bit and classify him more as a suspect than a prospect at this point.

I have heard some mention on here about D'Antona as a possible long term replacement for Hudson, not because he can actually play 2B but because of that crazy BA this year in AAA. As the article points out, he's got a .470 BABIP and plays in an incredibly favorable park and league, so I think people are getting a little too excited about his bat. It probably will not be good enough to make up for a complete lack of defensive ability (or at least experience) at 2B.

What do others here think? Is he a legitimate big league slugger in waiting, a guy we need to find a spot for? From people who have actually seen him play a decent amount, is there any chance he can handle 2B, or is he too slow/unathletic/whatever?