After all we've seen over the last few days (and last postseason), a couple of things come to mind.

First, I was living in Boston in 2004. I saw that team face adversity for an entire season. I saw them make an unpredictable, inexplicable trade at the deadline. Almost everyone in the MSM saw Nomar's departure as a sign that the Red Sox ownership had given up on the season. People n Boston couldn't believe that the trade had happened.

Fast forward three months and look at what happened. The Cubs fell apart. They miss the playoffs. The Red sox find themselves in a 3-0 hole and win one game. Then another. And two more. I would guess that it was February before the Cardinals realized what had hit them in the World Series. After what that team had been through, there was just no way anyone was going to beat them. No one.

Last year, these thoughts ran through my mind as I stood there watching the Cubs lose game 3 at home. I was there that day. It felt awful. After I had some time to think about it, I again went back to the Red Sox. They didn't complete the journey their first time, either. They lost in 99. Aaron fn Boone happened. They were down 3-0. They won a world series.

So, even down 0-2, I had some hope for tonight. I thought, maybe, last year's sweep would rally this team. I thought, maybe, the sting of that early exit last year would affect the team the way Aramis' poor performance affected his at bats this year. If you don't think there's a correlation between his o-fer in the NLDS last year and his newfound discipline at the plate this year, you just weren't watching.

So, this week when we saw what essentially amounted to Zambrano's prematurely speculated game 4 start at Wrigley which was preceded by Dempster's worst game of the year, it was as if nothing had changed. It was as if, somehow, in spite of last year's seemingly invaluable lesson about what NOT to do in the playoffs, they forgot. All of them. Lou, Lee, Ramirez., Soriano. All of them.

They all hung their heads in the dugout. None of them had any expectation (minus Lee in the 8th tonight) that they even had a chance. Gone was the resiliency we've seen appear several times this season. Just 3 weeks ago, we saw the cubs overtake a 4 run lead against the Brewers. It didn't surprise any of us. That's just what this team did this year. They made these things happen. Until October.

There will be a countless number of questions asked about how this could happen over the next few weeks. Each one of us will try to figure it out. Me, I'll look at the 2004 Red Sox. I'll remember how they were unflappable. I'll remember each game in the comeback. I'll remember how they made all of Boston keep hoping. Then, I'll look at this Cubs team and I'll remember how they hung their heads. I'll remember how visibly they lost their faith. I'll remember that they didn't take anything away from last year.

I'll see how our veterans -- our  supposed clubhouse leaders -- failed this team on a level that each and every one of us would be in jeopardy of losing our jobs for. And I'll find myself wondering is it Lou? Is it the clubhouse? None of us will be ever be privy to that information. However, I can tell you that if this is how our team leaders run the team, that we will not win with those leaders in place. This, obviously, was not a culture of winning. It wasn't last year either.

In my honest and entirely irritating opinion, if you want to fix this, you get rid of that chemistry. You remove those ghosts from the equation. You get rid of, gasp, Derrek Lee. You get rid of his fading numbers. You get rid of his inability to energize a talented, excitable clubhouse full of guys that look to veterans for support and leadership. Striking out on a ball in the dirt and then throwing your bat in the middle of a do or die playoff game doesn't inspire your team. It doesn't inspire confidence, hope, or resiliency. Negativity is contagious and there's no doubt, if you look at any shot of our dugout tonight, that the guys sitting in it thought they were going to lose.

If we want to win, we need to change the attitudes in our clubhouse. If our veterans are the ones who lead this team, then they've done our team and our fan base a disservice two years running. Professionals? Not quite.

I think, in all of this, what really hurts the most is that none of us got to see #34 take the mound this week. That's character. That's heart. It is a shame that we didn't see much more of it this October.

For the rest of you that are already tired of fretting about tonight's game, I thought it might be a welcome distraction to get a thread going about the progress of the cruel, heartless NLCS ticket lottery. Hopefully, the emails go out earlier than 8:50PM this time.

From cubs.com

NLCS REGISTRATION PERIOD ENDS:
12 noon CT, Monday, 9/29/2008

NLCS RANDOM DRAWING:
Monday, 09/29/2008

NLCS WINNERS NOTIFIED VIA E-MAIL:
Thursday, 10/02/2008

NLCS SALE FOR WINNERS:
12 noon - 6 p.m. CT, Friday, 10/3/2008