SB Nation User Blog: mf37

Sh*t Vs. Giggles: The Slapfest at Scotiabank Place

mf37 — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:14:24 -0000

Rotoworld is reporting that Ottawa Senators Jason Spezza and Chris Neil "fought" each other at practice today.

No word on whether the contents of their purses were spilled during the incident.

Update: Here's video footage of the scrap:

"I don't know what happened," [Spezza] said. As teammates, sometimes you get into it. It was just a (spitting) match. I'll buy him lunch today. But I knew when he dropped the gloves, it was time to get out of there. Just stay at arm's length."

- Allan Panzeri, Ottawa Citizen

Too bad for Spezza that there weren't any linesmen on the ice or Neil would never have engaged.

Jonas Gustavsson on IR, Joey MacDonald Recalled

mf37 — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 15:02:14 -0000

Fan590 is reporting that Jonas Gustavsson has been placed on IR with a groin pull. Joey MacDonald has been called up on emergency recall (doesn't have to clear waivers).

It's estimated that Gustavsson will be out for at least one week.

blurr update - Hot off the presses, the Canadian Press is now reporting the same:

The Toronto Maple Leafs placed Jonas Gustavsson on injured reserve Thursday morning with a groin injury and recalled fellow goaltender Joey MacDonald from the Toronto Marlies of the AHL.

Gustavsson, nicknamed The Monster, is expected to miss at least one week.

PPP Update: Chemmy and I have been tossing around ideas on how to deal with this news. Here is what we have:

How to commit suicide quickly and without a lot of fanfare

Cut femoral artery in a hot tub
Jump off of a bridge into ottawa traffic
The Wellwood - Try to eat as much as Kyle Wellwood

What ones can you come up with?

Possible 3 team deal for Kessel: Leafs - Rangers - Boston

mf37 — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:25:19 -0000

From Eliotte Friedman's Twitter feed

Interesting: Boston Globe pushes idea of Kessel/Dubinsky/Toronto/Boston/Rangers 3-way

Boston Globe is here:

With Burke willing to surrender his pair of first-round picks, he conceivably could flip one of those picks and possibly a prospect to the Rangers for Dubinsky, who last year connected for 13 goals and 41 points for the highly-mediocre Blueshirts. Burke then could turn around and offer Chiarelli the first-rounder and Dubinsky, the 60th pick overall in the 2004 draft, for Kessel.

Follow Friedman on twitter here.

Boney M, Kerry Fraser and the Leafs: 5 Questions

mf37 — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 20:01:46 -0000

More photos » by Darren Calabrese - AP

Toronto Maple Leafs goaltending legend Johnny Bower watches Jason Allison get lapped yet again.

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As I type this, Elton John’s "Sad Songs" is trapped in my head like a fruit fly slowly drowning in a glass of wine.

Earlier today, one of my kids somehow managed to lodge "I Believe I Can Fly" in my brain pan. That dirge was like a poor mouse caught in the toxic glue-like sticky-trap that is my brain.

When author and mountaineer Joe Simpson broke his leg 26,000 feet up a mountain and was left for dead, dehydrated and hallucinating he said the worst part of his ordeal was he couldn’t get Boney M’s "Brown Girl in the Ring" out of his head.

Why is it that if a song is going to get stuck in your head, odds are it will be a bad one? Why can't it be a great song that takes root, putting a smile on your face?

After the jump, it's the training camp style return of five questions - an exhibition match of sorts featuring bad music, bad decisions, great goals and hair so bad it's good (or is it hair so good it's bad?)

It's no "Brown Girl in the Ring" but when the New York Rangers won the Stanley Cup in 1994, breaking a 54 year drought, the AV system at Madison Square Garden launched into "These Are Days" by ~~hockey arena favourites~~ The 10,000 Maniacs followed by Tina Turner's "Simply the Best"

Not a pretty sonic combination nor the ideal songs that I want to associate with such an important and frankly historic hockey moment. Now, I'm not saying the Leafs are going to win the cup, but thinking about possible high lights in the Leafs' season...

1. What's the one piece of music that the ACC staff are likely to play that would absolutely ruin a great Leafs moment for you?

☆ ☆ ☆

On Saturday, Brian Murray and Doug Wilson worked out a deal for disgruntled winger Dany Heatley. San Jose sent promising winger Milan Michalek and has-been Jonathon Cheechoo to the town-that-fun-forgot in return for Heatley.

Since scoring 56 goals in 2006, Cheechoo's stats line looks like an earnings report from Nortel. He put up 12 goals in 2008-09, one shy of $4.2 million dollar man and new team mate Mike Fisher. Combined, Fish and Cheechoo earn $7.2 million and produced all of 25 goals last season. With numbers like that it's a shame they aren't a foot shorter and 50 lbs lighter or else Murray could likely trade the pair to Bob Gainey for a pretty handsome return.

Michalek is a fine young talent and will be an excellent addition to the Sens. He's been a threat to score 25 the last three years but the bigger question remains:

2. Will Michalek and Cheechoo combine to score more goals than Dany Heatley this year?

☆ ☆ ☆

Earlier this summer, fellow Leafs blogger Leaf and Lion posted what he thought might be the greatest Leaf goal of all time.

I don’t know if his choice even cracks my top five, possibly even my top 10:

Lanny McDonald eliminates the New York Islanders in OT
Bobby Baun wins the Cup on a broken ankle in 1964
Doug Gilmour’s double wrap-around against St. Louis
Mike Krushelnyski's New Years Eve shoot-out goal againt Moscow Dynamo in 1990
Mats Sundin’s 500th against Calgary
Rick Vaive becomes the first Leaf to score 50 goals in a season
Andy Wozniewski banks one in off the back boards against Atlanta
Borschevsky eliminates the Red Wings
Wendel Clark’s hat-trick goal to force OT against the Kings
Any of the 128 goals Mike Foligno scored that bounced in off his ass (followed by that spectacular leap of his - funny how Don Cherry never brought up that particular post-goal celebration routine)

Leaf and Lion poses an excellent question with no right answer but...

3. What, in your opinion, is the greatest Leaf goal ever scored?

☆ ☆ ☆

The price for Kessel is rising faster than the scales under Kyle Wellwood. The latest rumours have the Leafs offering two (2!) first round picks, in addition to a second and a third rounder.

This begs the question(s):

4. How quickly do you want the Leafs to field a competitive team? And do you think efforts to compete sooner rather than later might make the Leafs competitive but prove so costly as to prohibit them from developing into an elite team?

☆ ☆ ☆

Kerry Fraser has announced that he will retire as a NHL referee after the 2009-10 season.

An argument could be made that this comes about 17 years too late.

Thinking of his unique blend of skills, blindness and hair...

5. What occupation do you think Fraser is best suited for once his work as a NHL referee comes to an end?

Kessel: Point, sort of Counterpoint

mf37 — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 01:48:45 -0000

More photos » by Charles Krupa - AP

Kessel leaves the Boston locker room, possibly for the last time.

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The secret transcript has become a staple of the blogosphere. There are a few men out there who have no secrets, one visit to a chatty cathy bloodbath knows Chemmy is one of these men.

Late yesterday afternoon, a twitter feed from AM640's Greg Brady touched off a frenzy of speculation as to where Bruins RFA Phil Kessel might be headed.

What follows is a transcript of an IM session between Chemmy and MF37 discussing the merits of Kessel and the potential cost to the Leafs.

The chat took place over two sessions, the first while Mf37 was making dinner for his kids and the second while Chemmy was watching an NFL game. In other words, the matter didn't exactly have their full, undivided attention.

The revealing of the not-so-secret transcript and an exchange of semi-formed ideas after the jump...

Chemmy: I'm thinking about this Kessel RFA rumour and the draft picks the Leafs would have to give up to get him.

MF37: A 1st, 2nd and 3rd round pick to the Bruins. The perfect fodder for a MacLean's side-bar article in 2021.

Chemmy: Next year's draft is supposed to be total garbage after Taylor Hall and Kirill Kabanov; however, the 1999 draft that saw Stefan go first overall was supposed to be an excellent draft and everyone from that draft stunk. A lot.

I think the Leafs will finish somewhere between 8th and 10th in the East, meaning their top draft pick in an allegedly soft draft will be in the teens - not exactly a sure fire pick that inspires a ton of confidence. We could end up with a Louis Leblanc.

My conclusion from all of this is that ditching a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd round pick for Kessel makes sense. He's 21 and probably a lock to score 30 goals. Any GM that could guarantee an 18 year old prospect would develop into a 30 goal scorer at age 21 and could be acquired for a 2nd and a 3rd would pull that trigger no question.

So I guess the question is: does getting Kessel start to legitimize the Leafs as a team, or are they jumping the gun? Or are the Leafs just grabbing elite talent when it's available because you just have to?

MF37: That's a lot of questions and I three have more.

Can the Leafs draft a talent that is comparable to Kessel in that slot?
Knowing the expected development cycle of picks, are the Leafs better off with Kessel - who'll be four years into his development cycle by the time the 2010 draft rolls around - or an 18 year old prospect?
With the recent the spike in value of draft picks, is there a third option where they Leafs trade that first round pick later this season for a player close to Kessel's caliber?

Chemmy: I'm not sure the Leafs can develop talent at all, but we drafted Tlusty in the 13 spot. Plenty of game changers have gone from that slot or later; Getzlaf, Richards, etc. The issue isn't "can" someone develop a Kessel from the mid first round: it's "what's the probability?". The probability that we'll develop something equal to Kessel from the mid teens of the 2010 draft is incredibly low.

MF37: I guess what I'm aiming at is that the value of a first round draft pick has never been higher, especially relative to their pay - an all important factor in a capped environment.

Chemmy: Only one first rounder moved at the deadline last year and it was part of the Calgary trade for Jokinen. It was the 20th overall pick so it would seem like you can get big bang for your money moving your first at the deadline. That said I think Kessel is worth a bit more than Olli Jokinen. This is an interesting comparison to occur naturally though; both are talented players who have been described as "locker room cancer".

MF37: But look at how well that turned out for Calgary...oh, wait.

Chemmy: The value of first round picks might be at an all time high, but I don't think any team would give up a 21 year old sniper for a mid first round draft pick, especially because the offer sheet sets their value higher, the offer sheet says an RFA is worth an exact amount.

MF37: True enough, but the Leafs are also going to lose a 2nd rounder (that's a Dominic Moore or Nik Antropov right there) and a 3rd rounder (I have no idea what a 3rd round pick is worth, Matt Stajan with a full head of hair and faster reaction time to stray soccer balls?).

If the Leafs hold on to those three picks the players drafted in 2010 won't make an impact with the club until 2013, if not later. They may play in 2011 or 2012, but the earliest they're going to make a difference is 2013. They will likely be on entry level deals through to 2014.

To put that in perspective, Bozak and Hanson are UFAs in 2011.

Kadri and Schenn are RFAs in 2012 (when one will be signed to an RFA offer sheet by the Bruins after Chiarelli keeps Burke on hold for 35,000 hours).

Colton Orr and Mike Komisarek are the only current player under contract in 2013.

This is a long rambling (and likely boring) way of getting at what I really want to know: what's Burke's expectation for this team's development cycle? Signing Kessel certainly expedites the Leafs' return to competitiveness, but what does adding Kessel mean in terms of building a truly elite team?

Chemmy: Based on the offer sheet rules Kessel will probably get a 5 year contract. He'll be 26 when that contract ends and just about to hit his peak as a player. We'll also have a 23 year old Nazem Kadri, 26 year old Jiri Tlusty and a 25 year old Luke Schenn.

Most NHL prospects don't crack the league at 18 and make noise by 21. Kessel will be in sync with our current crop of rookies. If he costs a ton of money to lock up because he's been excellent for his five years that's a problem we're happy to have. If we don't give him a NMC/NTC his fifth year we trade him for a king's ransom if we can't lock him down.

I think adding Kessel helps develop our centers. Giving Kadri, Bozak and Grabovski the option of dishing to a pure sniper allows them to showcase their playmaking skills and break games open.

MF37: I hope it's five years. If Kessel signs for three years, he'll make the Leafs competitive, but he'll be gone before the Leafs youngsters mature enough to make this team a real threat.

The other big question of yours is one I can't answer but would love to ask half-a-dozen GMs: do you grab elite talent when it's available because you just have to? Or, do you have to have more patience and take timing/term/cap and multi-year plans into account?

Chemmy: Yeah. My gut instinct is you grab elite talent when it's available and build around it. It's a more concrete strategy than hoping Rico Fata ends up on your first line.

MF37: I'll throw in a caveat - I think you grab elite talent if the acquisition and compensation costs don't jeopardize on-ice success. Teams need a certain amount of cap room/flex and a steady influx of entry-level talent as a form of salary control.

My biggest concern in all of this remains whether or not Kessel is the real deal. For some reason, I've always doubted it. What if it turns out he's just the next Rob Brown?

Chemmy: The next Cheechoo.

MF37: Don't say it.

Chemmy: Kessel finished 12th in the NHL in goals as a 21 year old clearly a lot of that is Savard but Kessel only played 70 games.

MF37: Yeah, not having a Savardian set-up man is a big deal. Who's going to pass this guy the puck. It isn't going to be Grabovski, that's for sure. I doubt Kessel is dying to play on a line centred by Stajan, Primeau or Mitchell. Maybe Jason Alison is the ace in the hole. By the time Kessel is healthy enough to play in November/December, Allison will have hopefully built up enough speed to crossing the red lie and heading towards the offensive zone.

Chemmy: I've always liked Kessel.

I liked him in the NCAA. I think he's a bit of a baby but he's incredibly intense on the ice. He's from Wisconsin, he knows that Minnesota-UW is a big stage and he snipes this goal and taunts the whole crowd in their building that's the kind of player I like. Listen to 20,000 people boo a kid in his rookie year in the NCAA as soon as he gets the puck

MF37: I wonder about his attitude. It was widely noted how bad his attitude was in his draft year.

Chemmy: Bad attitude? Burke and Wilson with Team USA make me not worried. In the words of Gilmore Tuttle: "we'll straighten you out, you little prick".

MF37: I still have too many unresolved questions to be completely down with Kessel. Is he healthy? What's the prognosis for his surgery? Is he the real deal or the next Cheechoo?

Why do I have the feeling that if the Leafs sign him he'll be the next Bryan Bradley, but if he goes to Colorado he'll be the next Joe Mullen?

Chemmy: What's the old saying? Who dares wins? This is a salary cap league. If as an organization Toronto decides to be completely risk-averse we're never going anywhere. I think all indicators, such as Kessel only missing eleven games when they cut off one of his testicles and going through chemo while playing, say Kessel's a pretty rugged kid. He played through his shoulder injury through the last part of the season much like Marian Hossa. No one's worried about Hossa coming back and playing his game.

MF37: If I were a Hawks fan, I'd be worried about Hossa's health, just like if I were a Rangers fan I'd be worried about Marian Gaborik's tissue-paper groin and oragami hip...As The Meatriarchy has pointed out, the Leafs have invested in a number of players who are all coming off big injuries...

I think we're pretty much in agreement here. If the acquisition cost isn't crazy - say a 1, 2, and 3rd round pick - the Leafs should pull the trigger.

If this goes the trade route (sign and trade, or Leafs acquire Kessel's RFA rights) what's the price point at which you can't get behind this deal?

Chemmy: I think the price for a trade won't exceed a 1st, 2nd and 3rd because otherwise someone will just offer sheet Kessel and be done with it. If the Bruins go "sign and trade" I think teams will just wait a week for Boston to have to dump salary. Bruins fans on HFBoards, that bastion of well informed trades, were already hoping for Schenn which is obviously never going to happen.

If the Bruins wanted something like a 1st, 3rd, and Stajan I'd do that in a heartbeat but I'd say guys like Tlusty, Stefanovich, DiDomenico, Mitchell (Dale and John) are somewhat untouchable in that trade. I basically consider a 3rd round pick expendable and a 2nd round pick a total gamble. If those two things are all that stands in the way of flipping a 1st for a 21 year old elite player then Burke better get offer sheetin'.

Dany Heatley Word Cloud

mf37 — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 01:32:50 -0000

From a transcript of Heatley's remarks during last week's media call.

Who would have guessed Dany Heatley and his tricky pal "think" could spend that much time together?

HT to Wordle for the cool service.

Five Questions for the Dog Days of Hockey Season

mf37 — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 17:23:36 -0000

More photos » by Mark J. Terrill - AP

Defenseman Francois Beauchemin checks the clock to see how much time is left before Leaf camp opens.

Browse more photos »

These are indeed the dog days of summer for hockey fans.

The big UFAs have been signed, execs have been fired and their replacements hired, the pre-season schedule has been announced but it seems further away than Dany Heatley doing the right thing.

Four weeks until Tomas Kaberle's trade window closes.

Nearly eight weeks until Leaf training camp opens.

Nine weeks until the first pre-season Leaf game.

Ten weeks until Van Ryn's first injury.

Twelve weeks until the puck drops on the Leafs 2009-2010 season.

After the jump, five questions to help us pass the time so there's just seven weeks and four days until the Leafs open camp...

I’m way late to this one, but it’s not like there’s much going on in the world of hockey to talk about, so let’s turn our attention to Michael Jackson and celebrity deaths.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I was never a Michael Jackson fan. To my mind, the discovery that Ola Ray (the co-star of the Thriller video) had appeared in Playboy was far more influential in my young development than anything Michael Jackson ever accomplished.

Some folks are clearly fans but, to paraphrase a review of the Smith’s Meat is Murder, "he’ll never convince me one man's nut loaf isn't another man's baked nosepickings."

If a poll was conducted on June 25 on the general public's perception of Michael Jackson, I’m guessing the results would be almost entirely negative. If that same poll were conducted on June 27, one-day after the singer's death, the findings would be the exact opposite.

Has a celebrity death ever been more transformative? Has a celebrity ever gone from alleged pedophile to saint in a shorter time-span? Such a transformation makes me wonder…

1. Who do you think the most despised NHL personality is, and if they were to pass-away, do you think their character would undergo a Michael Jacksonesque post-mortem transformation?

Would Sean Avery be known as a passionate athlete who’d do anything to win?

Bettman, a dedicated lawyer with a vision for a struggling league?

# # #

Veteran news anchor Walter Cronkite passed away last week, he was 92.

Cronkite presided over the evening news at CBS from 1962 to 1981, announcing major historical milestones from the death of President Kennedy to the moon landing. The Beatles did their first American Broadcast with him.

Media critic Howard Kurtz noted that Cronkite’s career cast such a long shadow because it came during a time of limited media channels and an overwhelming trust in the media.

Since Cronkite’s retirement in 1982, the media has become more splintered than the remains of a whittling contest and more contradictory than my mother in-law on her fourth glass of wine.

As is evidenced on this site (and so many others throughout the Barilkosphere and beyond) trust and faith in the mainstream media may be at an all-time low.

I was reading an old interview with Cronkite the other night and he admitted his real dream wasn’t to be a journalist, but rather:

I've always thought one of the great things in life would be to entertain people with songs and dances and funny sayings. But it's just a fantasy. Another Walter Mitty dream.

For those of you under 35 or who haven’t seen the classic cartoons, Walter Mitty was a fictional character created by James Thurber (one of the early contributors to the New Yorker) who spends most of his time daydreaming about adventures and triumphs. Cronkite continues:

Oh, my dreamworld personally is to just take off on that boat of mine and not have to worry anymore about the affairs of mankind, and about reporting them, and taking the slings and arrows from all sides as we do today, since we can't seem to satisfy anybody. After ten years of it here in this particular spot, it gets tiresome. I'd like to be loved, like everybody else.

2. What do you think your favourite sports journalist’s Walter Mitty moments are? Does Working Class Howard dream of driving a limo for the Dallas Cowboys? Does Damien Cox dream of a centre court triumph at Wimbledon or perhaps laying waste to MLSE and the ACC like the Joker going after Gotham General Hospital?

# # #

Sticking somewhat with the theme of death, Not Quite What I was Planning is a collection of six-word memoirs from the famous and obscure. Smith Magazine asked people to submit their own six word memoir and the magazine has collected some of the best in a book, which can be read in about forty-five minutes. Despite the slender size adn content, it demonstrates just how powerful six well chosen words can be. A small sample:

"I still make coffee for two."

"Found true love, married someone else"

"Adopted? Are you fucking shitting me?"

"Brought it to a boil, often" (Mario Batali)

"Well, I thought it was funny." (Stephen Colbert)

3. In six words or less, try to sum up your relationship with the Leafs (remember "Kerry Fraser's Hair" uses up 50% of your allotted words).

# # #

Since the trade deadline, Brian Burke has traded three players and acquired six, most of whom are known for their, ahem, sunny dispositions.

There has been loads of discussion, emails, web-rumours and hopes of adding a top six forward either through free agency or by dealing one of the 38 D-men currently on the roster.

4. Given the 50 contract limit, the potential for the cap to constrict and the need to clear lanes for developing players in the next few years, why the push for the Leafs to add another player to the mix now? Is the push for a top-six forward a sign of Leafs Nation’s impatience? Is this urge for another top six a signal a move towards winning more now or just a pragmatic solution for the log-jam on D?

# # #

I have no idea why, perhaps it’s something Chemmy or another New England Patriots fan could explain to me, but Elton John has been named the Pats' honorary captain for the NFL game in London this October. I presume it’s because Prince Edward and Boy George had other commitments.

5. With the Leafs scheduled to play the Flyers in London (Ontario), what celebrity do you think should be named honorary captain for the Leafs and who should get the nod for the Flyers?

Let's help fans out there feel the love tonight. Go Flyers.

Jeremy Williams Signs with Detroit

mf37 — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:58:43 -0000

Jeremy Wiliams, the man with the million dollar shot and five cent legs, has signed on with the Detroit Red Wings. Term and contract status (one or two-way) were not annouced but Faceoff.com lists his salary as league minimum. FWIW, Michigan Live has this categorized as a Grand Rapids transacation.

Given all of the layoffs and cost cutting at CBC, the HNIC guys and Don Cherry can simply re-run all of the early season talking-head footage from last year and dub ~~Mr. Black~~ "Williams" over "Wellwood" and "Red Wings" over any mention of the Canucks. That extra effort will save us all a bunch of time and hassle.

NHL UFA Season: Five Questions to Cover You Like Sherwin Williams

mf37 — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 14:20:10 -0000

More photos » by Graham Hughes - AP

Brian Burke, general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs, doesn't give a rats-ass about your five questions.

Browse more photos »

Ah, the first day of UFA season.

If the NHL trade deadline is the equivalent of Christmas and the draft is a significant birthday, then July 1 is like finding a long forgotten wad of $20 bills in an old pair of jeans just as you're heading out on the town with your best mates.

Some will see this windfall as a bonus to be metered out responsibly. Others will throw their money around but watch the talent go home with somebody else. And a few others will awake to find their pockets empty, their memories hazy and their stomach twisting as they realize that there’s a sleepy Jason Blake is in their kitchen wearing nothing but a Leaf jersey while making some eggs and announcing that the moving truck has arrived with all his stuff. Let’s hope Burke acts responsibly these next few days…

After the jump, this week's five questions:

There was some discussion this week as to the top five worst post-lockout trades (I can only conclude Gainey was so inspired by that fanpost that he made his pitch to Sather accordingly).

Given that this is the start of the silly season, I thought it was only fitting that we turn our attention to bad UFAs contracts. For full effect, I think we need to consider term, cap hit, performance (past and potential), cost of buy-out and how much you hated the player to begin with.

1. What’s the worst post-lockout UFA signing?

# # #

Speaking of bad UFA signings, I have the feeling that one or two of Burke’s potential free agent signings might cause a stir amongst Leaf fans, a group who can’t seem to agree on much these days. Consider, Todd Bertuzzi is in Toronto as we speak...

2. Looking at the list of potential UFAs, what is the one deal you don’t want Burke to make this free agency season? Is there a signing that’s so malodorous that you’d question your support of the Leafs?

# # #

There are certain words that seem to only exist in type. Words that you rarely, if ever, hear spoken in the course of normal conversation yet encounter on the printed page or computer monitor. I’m thinking of words like "thus" "hence" or "ergo." For what it’s worth "tumescent" is another word that I’ve never heard a person say, a happenstance I’m hoping to keep alive for a good long time.

One word that pops up in the sports pages, which I don’t think I’ve ever heard a hockey fan say aloud, is "élan." It’s a great word and it’s often used to describe the type of player that brings Montreal Canadiens fans out of their seats. Think Kovalev when he’s really on his game, former great Jean Beliveau or Guy Lafleur. I think it’s safe to say that fans of the blue, blanc, et rouge love them a talented guy who brings a little extra elegance on the ice.

Conversely it seems Leaf fans love their "pick and shovel" men, as Burke so recently put it.

In the horrific 1980s, Wendel Clark personified the Leafs and remains an all-time Leaf fan favourite. Other blue collar guys like Lou Francescetti and Brad Smith drew fan support that was inversely proportionate to their skill level. It seems odd to me that Leaf fans can love and support Tie Domi while never seeming to warm to Mats Sundin or Alex Mogilny.

Darcy Tucker is still loved even though his declining skills and subsequent buy-out will be carried by this team for years to come.

Gilmour was the quintessential Leaf as he’s one of the few that combined these intangibles with unquestionable talent.

I think this bias for lunch bucket guys shows in the adulation for Luke Schenn and in the polarized reaction to the drafting of Nazem Kardi ahead of Jared Cowen.

I don’t think it’s a nationalism thing so much as it’s cultural or team by team phenomenon. Flyers fans love their bullies, the Oilers like skating and speed.

3. Do you think fanbases have a tendency to prefer a style of play or a type of player? Do you think Leaf fans have a tendency to value hustle and hard work ahead of skill?

# # #

4. When the Leafs ultimately win, do you think the victory will be all the more sweeter because of the drought and all the crap Leaf fans have been through? Or do you just want to win the cup and to hell with anything deeper?

# # #

My love of all things Leaf can be traced back to the early 1970s.

As a kid I played soccer and baseball well into high school. The sound of Mel Allen (the baseball broadcaster, not the master of cartoon voices) or the closing theme to This Week in Baseball transports me back to a time of Pittsburgh Pirate pillbox hats and a fever for all things Willie Stargell.

To spite my father and his support of Joe Theisman and the Red Skins I cheered on the New York Giants.

But basketball was completely foreign to me as a kid. Totally off the radar.

I never played an organized game of basketball until my last year of high school and I don’t know that I ever watched a match until I was in university.

The NCAA final four was likely my first exposure to the sport. I lived with a guy who loved the Duke Blue Devils and another friend was all about the Syracuse Orangemen. I watched the games, learned the players, and lost my money on several brackets, but my knowledge of the sport remained rudimentary at best.

We’d play three on three games on weekends in the lot of the local high school or go shoot hoops to help ward off a hangover (I don’t think it worked) but still I struggled with most elements of the game. Except the trash talking.

If there was one part of sport I enjoyed no matter what game we were playing, talking smack was it.

Once, during a heated game of three on three, I unwisely called one of my opponents "A Dutch boy in the paint."

The game came to a sudden stop.

Puzzled looks were exchanged.

I was asked to repeat what I’d just said.

"Dutch. Boy. In. The. Paint."

It seemed pretty simple to me. I’d heard it a million times in the background of college basketball games and had never really thought much about it other than it rolls off the tongue beautifully, especially if you say it snidely to an opponent.

Say it with me: You Dutch boy in the paint.

It’s certainly not something I’d want to be called.

What I didn’t realize was Dutch Boy is an actual brand of paint and a sponsor of the NCAA.

Dutch Boy in the paint, it turns out, was no smack talk at all it was actually part of an intermission stats segment on rebounding sponsored by Sherwin Williams Dutch Boy paints.

In was the equivalent of calling someone the Home Hardware Home Town Hero or a Got Milk Rookie.

Some 18 years later my friends still bring this up.

I have learned my lesson and simplified things greatly. When engaging in trash talk my preferred epithet is now "cock breath."

Many of my opponents, thinking themselves enlightened, will quickly ask me how I know what cock breath smells like. The easy answer is "I hang out with your mother."

5. Do you ever engage in a little on-ice/on-field/on-court smack talk, and if so, what’s your insult of choice?

I'd love to see a whole new line of these dolls: Kerry Fraser with hair care kit; Gary Bettman with...

mf37 — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 05:06:47 -0000

I'd love to see a whole new line of these dolls: Kerry Fraser with hair care kit; Gary Bettman with wobble head action; Doug Gilmour with dress-up cow tights; Chris Pronger with stomp-action skates...

The possibilities are endless.