SB Nation User Blog: moni

It's AK Hair Intervention Time aka It's an Off-Day

moni — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 11:25:28 -0000

I originally meant to do something like this--Great Moments in Suns Hair History--but a rudimentary trip through the ol' archives pretty much killed that notion.

[To wit:
Karl Malone: receding hairline-->shaved head.
Jerry Sloan: black hair-->white hair, but same hair.
John Stockton: same hair for 19 years.
Horny, Ostertag, Russell, Eisley, Keefe, Eaton, Boozer, Harpring, Memo*, KK*...you get the idea.

*Memo and KK both once sported horrid frosted tips, but they were, respectively, a Piston and 76er at the time.

I could have devoted a post to the wonders of Phil Johnson's magnificent mustache, but that would have been a short one.]

So anyway, the lone standout was AK-47. And given the bowl cut he's been sporting lately--

--I feel that it is Hair Intervention time. Let's offer AK a helping hand.

[Ed. Note, 12/15/09 2:22 PM MST ] The link for the jump comes after the poll.

Option A: I call this the "Baby AK." The style he was sporting in the early years in Utah, his hair is soft, yellow, and downy like a baby chick.

Option B: Baby AK grew out into this Euro-fashiontastic somewhat-metro highlighted spike-slick look (clearly, I am making this up as I go; I have no idea what you call this). I think AK made it work though.

Option C: My personal favorite. The mojohawk is badass and it rocks the house. I have absolutely nothing to back the following statement up with, but I am absolutely certain that if AK brings this back, his play on the court will immediately revert to that of '03-'04 AK. Hence, the mojohawk.

Option D: Let's call this short, spiky cut the Standard AK--it's the one that we're most familiar with and most used to seeing.

Option D also comes in Option D-1: Now with frosted tips!

Option E: The Superman. AK showed up at training camp this season with a new slicked Dean Cain Superman look that I quite like, and that:

--KOC called "more mature"
--AK said was the result of having no time to get a haircut
--Jerry said he wouldn't comment on because he wasn't going to marry AK lol.

Option F: "The KK with Product"--during the preseason Europe trip, AK toyed with combing his bangs forward. It looks a lot like what KK's hair would look like if he put hair product in it.

So, what do you think?

Poll

AK should bring back...

Fes' first boss was Michael Scott, and his first job was network admininistrator.

moni — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 13:47:25 -0000

Fes' first boss was Michael Scott, and his first job was network admininistrator.

jazz and jazz fan me being heckled on nat'l radio

moni — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:52:24 -0000

jazz and jazz fan me being heckled on nat'l radio

thought i'd share this--
so when i said in the game thread "i hate the jazz for making me be subject to freaking laker fan gloating for the rest of the day," i wasn't kidding. ..

my laker fan friends were on the national airwaves just now heckling the jazz, me, and calling dwill "duh-ron" because they know it bugs me. (it went on for 6+minutes, but i cut it down to 3). they're somewhat amusing, i suppose. haha.

Jazz F Harpring not returning - NBA - Yahoo! Sports

moni — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 01:02:56 -0000

Jazz F Harpring not returning - NBA - Yahoo! Sports

SALT LAKE CITY (AP)—Utah Jazz forward Matt Harpring(notes) says his comeback attempt to play this season is over and his career may be as well.

Have the last five games changed anything (in your mind)?

moni — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:02:22 -0000

With yet another interminable 3-day layover stretching out in front of us, this seems as good a time as any to poll the current sentiments of SLC Dunkers.

They say that winning cures all ills, and a good 90% of our ills this past year have either had to do with Boozer, or he is regarded as the party responsible. In light of the past five games, namely this:

Poll

How has your view on the world/Jazz changed?

Boozer never did anything wrong. Why shouldn't the cornerstone and leader of this team speak his mind? (aka I want him on this team now and always aka my name is David Locke)

16 votes

I'm all about forgiving and forgetting. (aka I wanted a trade this summer/earlier in the season, but I've changed my mind)

77 votes

Boozer remains on my list of enemies, but...gah! Confusion reigns within me. (aka I don't know! I...I just...I don't know!!)

59 votes

Boozer is dead to me. (aka He needs to go ASAP)

21 votes

Other (fill in in comment section below)

12 votes

185 votes | Poll has closed

gay mocking ronnie b and utah

moni — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:10:21 -0000

gay mocking ronnie b and utah

Williams a chip off Sloan's block

moni — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:15:10 -0000

Williams a chip off Sloan's block

Boozer/KOOF for Bell/Wallace?

moni — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:32:04 -0000

I'm not one to propose trades because I definitely don't know as much about matchups/rotations/salary cap issues as the next guy, but here goes my very first trade proposal ever:

It's clear that a front line of Memo+Boozer = waving a white flag. It simply does not work (or, on the flip side, works wonderfully for the opposing team). It's also clear we need some veteran leadership.

Enter Raja Bell. The Donaghy book excerpts had this to say:

A defensive specialist throughout his career, Bell had a reputation for being a "star stopper." His defensive skills were so razor sharp that he could shut down a superstar, or at least make him work for his points. Kobe Bryant was often frustrated by Bell's tenacity on defense.

And then there's the news that a couple of nights ago, Vince Carter actually requested to come off the bench so he didn't have to match up against Bell.

So to sum up, in Bell we get a vet that:
1) plays D and makes 3s
2) is familiar with the Jazz system
3) a good locker room guy (Nash after the Suns/Cats trade: "All I can say is that he’s my best buddy and my best friend. The guys loved him, and Boris, too.")

That addresses one of our needs. We also need to get rid of #5. Enter Gerald Wallace. I first started thinking about this when there was a trade rumor two summers ago regarding Crash/May for Boozer. The more I thought about it, the more I liked it. Imagine having the RBs (Brewer/Bell) defending the perimeter and having AK/Wallace/Fes playing alongside each other or offsetting Memo on the inside. I salivate at such a prospect.

(Nothing against the Koof; his inclusion is just to make the numbers work so Shums, don't hate me.)

Anyway, I know that this trade wreaks horrible financial havoc on the Jazz, but I got so excited about this lineup that I jumped out of bed to run it through the ESPN trade machine. Yeah, I'm thinking about the Jazz even when I'm half asleep and yeah, I probably need professional help. Thoughts (on the trade, not my mental state)?

Deron Williams Has No Idea Why The Jazz Are Losing | Dime Magazine (www.dimemag.com) : Daily NBA News, NBA Trades, NBA Rumors, Basketball Videos, Sneakers

moni — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:29:45 -0000

Deron Williams Has No Idea Why The Jazz Are Losing | Dime Magazine (www.dimemag.com) : Daily NBA News, NBA Trades, NBA Rumors, Basketball Videos, Sneakers

interview with dime

Dime: You have never demanded a trade, but is there pressure in your eyes for management to build a championship contending team in the next two years in order to keep you?

DW: It’s too early to be even talking that. I’m in the first year of my new deal, so it’s not going to happen.

Manu's gay elf defense!

moni — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:26:12 -0000

Manu's gay elf defense!