SB Nation User Blog: oblique

Holliday: Trade Him At The Deadline!

oblique — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 20:30:11 -0000

I've decided to toss my hat into the popular song relyricization ring. But, there's a twist -- this time I've actually recorded the song, so, clearly, even more apologies are due.

I apologize to Whitfield and Strong for messing with their excellent song, I Heard It Through The Grapevine.
I apologize to Marvin Gaye for messing with his awesome rendition of said song.
I apologize to karaoke-version.com, from where I purchased the karaoke track.
I apologize for the stupid trade proposals, but submit this work as evidence that rhyme structure is not an optimal measure of minor league talent.
And most of all, I apologize to you, the listener, for not finding a track without background vocals and therefore having to sing over them, but not being able to drown them out completely due to the resulting cacophony (which I apparently didn't manage to avoid anyway); for the terrible recording quality of my built-in Macbook mic; and, last but not least, for subjecting you to this whole thing in the first place.
EDITOR'S NOTE: I apologize to nobody for putting this on the front page. You rock, oblique. Literally. -Nico.

Download MP3

Trade Him At The Deadline

Oo oo, I bet you're wond'rin' what they'll do
When they're past the end of June
With all of these guys, should be winning more
Of all the teams in the West, you know they're number four

They're 10 and 45 after May
What to do with Holliday?
Don't you know that they'll

Trade Him At The Deadline
For some kid whose name is Matt Cline
Oh, they''ll Trade Him At The Deadline
Ain't no extension that he'll ever sign
Honey, honey, yeah

(trade him at the deadline, how much can they get in July, baby)

Now I know the man, he can hit the ball
Make great plays, back against the wall
Without Matt on the team you see
They'll just lose more easily

They could have sold him for more
If they'd moved him long before
Instead they'll

Trade Him At The Deadline
For some kid named Andrew Romine
Oh, they'll Trade Him At The Deadline
Ain't no extension that he'll ever sign
Honey, honey, yeah

(trade him at the deadline, how much can they get in July, baby)

People say they gave half of what he's worth
Others think that it's not so clear
But I can't help bein' confused
Ain't no way they gonna keep him here

They must plan to let him go
For a couple guys tryin' to make the show
Don't you know that they'll

Trade Him At The Deadline
In a deal for Andy Sonnanstine
Oh, they'll Trade Him At The Deadline
Ain't no extension that he'll ever sign
Honey, honey, yeah

WLD 5/31-6/1: Maybe June...

oblique — Sat, 31 May 2008 15:20:47 -0000

As we transition from May to June, let's dwell upon Mays past for a moment.

AAAAAHHHHH!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

AAH! AAH!! AAAH!!

Alright, so May has not been the kindest month to us A's fans of late, so perhaps we should be grateful for a 2008 May that, though sub-.500, was punctuated with a six-game winning streak. Those were the days. The Mays of the A's. Yay.

The A's lost yesterday but the good news was that Carlos Gonzalez hit two doubles in his major league debut.

Gonzalez said he was excited before the game but tried to keep things in perspective.

"It's baseball, it's nothing new," he said with a smile. "It's not like I'm going to play basketball or something. When I got to second base (after his first double), Michael Young and those guys congratulated me. That's something I'm not going to forget."

This WLD has something for everyone. For example, I know we have a lot of spelling sticklers out there. Heck, I'm one of them. It's in my blood. Typo-negative. Anyway, this kid has a future on AN for sure -- one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

For those of you wondering what the A's medical staff has been doing to allow so many injuries to occur all at once, well, they've been busy. It seems NASA called them in, wanting to learn about their experiences with Rich Harden's famous "alarm clock" injury, after the Mars Phoenix Lander had a similar ailment.

As an aging single Indian man, I can't really comment on this, except to point out that the punch line was brought up years ago by Russell Peters (start at about 2:50, up to 3:30).

And for those of you unaware of the historically geeky side of baseball, check out the Bay Area Vintage Base Ball league. I'm a rookie with the San Jose Dukes this season; unfortunately we're off to an 0-6 start, but hopefully we can score our first win when we take on the San Francisco Pacifics this Sunday at 1:00. Some interesting tidbits about the league:

43 oz wooden bats
Baggy wool (blend) uniforms
Hurlers (pitchers) throw from 50 feet
No helmets
Gloves that look (and feel) like gardening gloves, no webbing
7 balls, 3 strikes; fouls are not strikes, and getting hit by a pitch is just a ball

That's all I have. Oh, and if you happen to be going to the Black And White Ball tonight, my vocal group will be sitting in for a song with Dick Bright's SRO in the Veteran's Building Lobby around 11pm.

Dump away!

DLD 7/23/07: Sometimes, bad is bad

oblique — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 12:15:23 -0000

We all know what happened yesterday, and if you really want to wallow in it, you can click on all three. Or, you could just read what Billy has to say, which is a pretty good indicator of what changes we can expect in July (none):

General manager Billy Beane suggested any answers for his team's lack of production should be found within the current roster, rather than from bringing in new personnel.
"These guys are all capable of hitting better than they are," Beane said. "They know it. Hitting's contagious and sometimes when one struggles, they all struggle."

Translation: "I've got nothing anyone else wants."

It's even affecting other, completely unrelated teams that call themselves the A's, as I learned in this article that I initially thought was about our beloved green and gold.

Today's Master Of The Obvious award goes to The Sporting News, who in this masterpiece outline why it's not likely the A's will rebound. My favorite is this gem:

There'd be no shame here in waiving the white flag.

That's right. Our surrendering has been terrible for the last month -- DFA the white flag!

Ah...the white flag has been claimed off waivers by Lindsay Lohan, who apparently amused herself in rehab by walking around naked. Perhaps she should move to Tennessee and do yardwork, like these women in bikinis.

Of course, as we all hate to hear in times of sorrow, it could be worse. For example, a coach in Arkansas died after being hit in the head with a line drive. A very sad story. I can't help but think that "The Drillers" is not a good name for a baseball team. And hopefully it's not a bad omen that they were playing an Angels affiliate at the time.

Speaking of the Angels, the A's play the Angels tonight at 7:05. Let's hope they can muster even one non-bloop hit, or somehow not bore us to death.

If you do need to stave off boredom, I suggest this game (no, it's not Pinch Hitter 2) that tests whether you are quick enough to hit a major league fastball.

AAARGH! Um...free ticket tonight 7/3

oblique — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 22:41:35 -0000

Because my friends are somewhat flakier than I'd planned...

I'd originally planned to go to tonight's game with a friend of mine, but she has canceled. Now, granted, it's a good reason, which I won't get into, but I still have an extra ticket. Sec 215 Row 12.

Anyone interested?

Extra ticket tonight 6/19

oblique — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 18:49:30 -0000

I have an extra ticket to tonight's game that I'm giving away. It is next to the one that I will be using for myself.

These tickets were purchased from another ANer, back when life was far less complicated from a scheduling perspective. Until about 2 hours ago I was planning to not go at all. But I can't miss the chance to see Hatte again, so I'm going.

Assuming I'm over my minimum character limit (for the diary, not for my personality), I'll stop rambling now. But the point remains -- extra, free ticket. Section 215 Row 12.

The other thing is, I'm in Palo Alto and due to scheduling constraints, I'm planning to get to the park just as the game starts, and might end up being slightly late (though I hope not). So you need to either be able to pick up the ticket from me during the day, or be OK with the fact that you might miss the beginning of the game.

Email me if interested.

Weekend Link Dump 5/19-5/20: I feel so relaxed!

oblique — Sat, 19 May 2007 19:08:55 -0000

Last night was amazing; we had our way with the visiting San Francisco Giants, including ~~two~~ three home runs. I need a cigarette.

Ooh, they just called, and we're seeing them again tonight!!

According to the papers, a healthy Johnson was a key to the success of the evening. Go figure!

Mark Purdy wrote up kind of a glum summary of the event, including some standard insight into the mind of Zito:

You'd think, therefore, that Zito would have ridden his old Coliseum comfort zone to one of his better outings. Instead, he seemed out of sorts and unable to get a handle on his control. In that woeful first inning, Zito had 0-2 counts on two batters - and then chucked up four consecutive balls to put both on base. Zito conceded there were moments when he couldn't get it out of his head that he was pitching to old friends.
"But it's my job to block that out and treat them as normal opponents," Zito said. "I couldn't get that put-away pitch. It's a fine line ..."

Of course, none of this really matters to most Giants fans; the real question is, what about Bonds?

The Giants writers are second-guessing their team's trade of Jeremy Accardo to the Blue Jays.

Alright, enough about the Giants..seriously..this is totally a pattern with me; after one great night I'm obsessing about them...all I want is to see them again...

Meanwhile, in other news:

* Jason Giambi and MLB are having a little spat.

* Liberty Media now owns the Braves.

* MLB is giving up on October and looking for some November heroes.

That's all I've got. I have to go call everyone I know, and then start getting ready for what should be a good romp tonight!

Baltimore on May 26/27?

oblique — Wed, 02 May 2007 16:16:14 -0000

It's a long story, so I'm not going to go into it. Basically my response to randomness and unpredictability is to inject more randomness and unpredictability into the system. Life has been kind of random and unpredictable lately, and as a result, I just randomly, unpredictably purchased a ticket to go to Baltimore from May 25 to May 28.

So...before I buy my one ticket for the game, are there any NRAFs in the area that might want to join me at the game on May 26? (update...AND/OR May 27!!)

Poll

What is my deal?

You're crazy.

0 votes

You're creepy.

1 votes

You're nuts.

0 votes

You're injured.

0 votes

You're not Mexican enough.

5 votes

You're a whiny douchebag.

3 votes

You should stop eating puppies.

0 votes

Mmm...puppies.

1 votes

10 votes | Poll has closed

Sigh. DLD 2/6/2007

oblique — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 19:16:03 -0000

As we muddle through another hazy February day, waiting for it to either frickin' get sunny or go into a downpour (come on, weather, have some heart! Be more Mexican!), we have much to celebrate. Yay.

Babe Ruth was born on this day in 1895.

More from Wikipedia:
Axl Rose and Rick Astley, who I'd never have imagined in the same sentence, both share February 6 as a birthday. And Singapore and New Zealand were both founded on February 6.

Former A Aaron Harang, who once had the potential to be a part of the most laughable pitching rotation in history (Harden, Haren, Harang, Halama....), got his self a new contract today.

The San Jose Mercury is not particularly positive about the A's offseason.

DLD 10/10/06: ALCS-a Seltzer To The Rescue!

oblique — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 14:51:35 -0000

Here we go, and as they say, the ALCS is more than just a mountain range in Switzerland!

No link in the world could possibly distract us from the first game of the ALCS. However: I was flipping radio stations last night in the car, and happened upon KNBR just as they said something about "the A's" so I stopped and listened. It was the Damon Bruce show (IIRC, I don't actually know anything about their programming) and he was going on about how A's fans are not passionate, and never "show up." "I'm getting no love from the A's fans tonight! Here I've opened up my radio show to talk about the A's, and...where are they? They don't show up, just like they don't show up in their own stadium!"

In the interest of education, I'd like to educate Mr. Bruce and his listeners who feel similarly on how this new-fangled contraption called "radio" actually works. See, while you are broadcasting your voice and various noises over the air, these noises can only be heard by people who tune a "radio receiver" to a particular frequency. A listener would thus have to be motivated, independently of your immediate content, to tune a "radio receiver" to your frequency in order to even be aware that you are talking about subject matter relevant to them. In other words, they cannot hear you unless they tune to your frequency first.

Earth to KNBR: A's FANS DO NOT LISTEN TO YOU!!

Anyway, random rant over, and the annoyance really only lasted about 12 seconds because THE ALCS STARTS TONIGHT!!

Oh, and I almost forgot: MARCO!!!

Weekend DLD 9/30/06-10/1/06: Stunted Cards

oblique — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 20:57:34 -0000

After having leaned heavily on AN through a season of ups and downs, I'm finally posting my first DLD, taking advantage of the fact that a huge portion of AN is in Anaheim this weekend getting ready for some serious card stunts tonight!

Speaking of stunted Cards, the St. Louis Cardinals are once again the favorites to win the NL Central after rallying from being down 2-0 with three runs in the bottom of the eighth (on a Spiezio 3-run triple, of all things). In our own Central division, the Twins are afraid of the A's, and today resorted to throwing a game against a Chicago White Sox team that attempted to exclude from the line up anyone capable of hitting a home run. The Tigers, meanwhile, would rather feel like the rest of the division, Twins included, is just standing in their shadows.

In today's Chronicle, Susan Slusser admits having been opposed to the trade for Milton Bradley, but thinks it looks better now that she's seen him naked.

"I want to be in a position...where I can have an impact..." Bradley said. "I wasn't swinging...like I was capable of doing...I started swinging it. I've always been able to adapt and...have some speed..., do all those...things."

In Hollister, they feel that the A's have a compelling story.

Joe Morgan hearts someone named Ken Mocha.

And we are all lemur conkers.