
papigrande
Jun 14, 2008 Nov 10, 2009 51 5764
My name is Joe, I'm 17, and I live in Missouri. I have been clean since... oh, wait, wrong... yeah, nevermind.
It would be appropriate after reading that horrible Alcoholics Anonymous-parodying opening sentence and my Spinal Tap-referencing signature to assume that I am somewhat of a class clown on MHR. I have a tendency to hijack posts with van-related hijinks, and I like to make references to absurd early-nineties Saturday Night Live sketches (If Ed Hochuli were a hot dog, would you eat him?) and forgotten 1980's hair metal power ballads (my upcoming pieces: "Livin' on a Prayer: The Kyle Orton Saga," "I've got More Than a Feeling About Knowshon Moreno," "Good Times Really Bad Times: An Investigation of Mike Shanahan's Draft Strategery," and "Jay Cutler, Just Go Home Sweet Home.").
I also used to play football for my high school, but it took too much time away from my ninja training and my heavy metal band Poetic Injustice, in which I play the drums. Currently my skill level is like if John Bonham and Neil Peart had a son somehow, but he was retarded from having two dads and no mom so he couldn't play the drums. The band? Like if you crossed Boston with Anthrax.
In my free time I enjoy replaying my way through The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. My favorite temple fluctuates between the Forest and Spirit Temples. My least favorite is the Water, which once took me seven hours (straight, with three bathroom breaks) to beat. My favorite boss is either Twinrova or Volvagia, and I always hated Bongo Bongo. He's scary.
Also, I win at fantasy football and I am the bane of Zappa's existence. And finally....
O o
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| I'MMA FIRIN' MAH LAZOR BLAAAAAGH!!
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email:
a fan of
St. Louis Cardinals
Denver Nuggets
Denver Broncos
Ricky Bobby
Maria Sharapova is hot.
Colorado Avalanche
Recent activity
Voted for 12 or more on Mile High Report - 11/10/09 3:48 PM EST
Commented Just a quick question on Horse Tracks 11/9/09 - Chargers cut Broncos' AFC West lead to 1.5 games; Denver hosts Pittsburgh... on Mile High Report - 11/09/09 11:17 AM EST
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Commented Depth, methinks. on Broncos add Ty Law, pending physical on Mile High Report - 11/06/09 4:06 PM EST
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Voted for No! Give us our colors back on Mile High Report - 11/06/09 4:01 PM EST
Voted for Hey, I'm on board with whatever Josh McDaniels does! on Mile High Report - 11/06/09 4:00 PM EST
Voted for If half of it disappeared, I'd hardly notice on Mile High Report - 11/04/09 9:57 AM EST
Commented Something to consider: on The Lynch Perspective - Week 8 on Mile High Report - 11/02/09 4:44 PM EST
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Voted for Slightly Concerned on Mile High Report - 11/02/09 4:43 PM EST
Voted for They simply lost to the better team on Mile High Report - 11/02/09 3:55 PM EST
Commented epic win on Denver Broncos at Baltimore Ravens Pre-Game Discussion Thread on Mile High Report - 11/01/09 12:54 PM EST
Commented Because everyone else is doing it.. on Denver Broncos at Baltimore Ravens Pre-Game Discussion Thread on Mile High Report - 11/01/09 12:41 PM EST
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Voted for You are no more crazy than I already believed you to be. on Mile High Report - 10/31/09 1:12 AM EDT
Voted for Doom leads the League in sacks near season half mark. on Mile High Report - 10/30/09 3:54 PM EDT
Commented We should resign Chad Mustard now that we have a Berger. on Horse Tracks 10/27/09 - Broncos replace Kern with former CU Buff Mitch Berger; Dawkins and LK Smith... on Mile High Report - 10/27/09 4:04 PM EDT
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Recommended Interlude (Cue Girl From Ipanema Muzak) on Mile High Report - 10/27/09 3:58 PM EDT
Commented I can see the headlines now: on Horse Tracks 10/26/09 - Broncos lead down to 3 games after Dolts pound Chefs; Jokeland smoked... on Mile High Report - 10/26/09 5:18 PM EDT
Commented raiders fail 3 straight times from the 1 yard line and keep the shutout alive on NFL Week 7 - Late Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/25/09 6:54 PM EDT
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Commented That didn't take long. on NFL Week 7 - Late Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/25/09 6:53 PM EDT
Voted for Vikings @ Steelers on Mile High Report - 10/25/09 4:20 PM EDT
Voted for 2-1 on Mile High Report - 10/22/09 5:20 PM EDT
Commented Most. Epic. Thing. Evar. on Image FanShot on Mile High Report - 10/20/09 5:33 PM EDT
Voted for 12 or more wins on Mile High Report - 10/20/09 3:54 PM EDT
Voted for My expectations were a little more tempered, but I'd have to say yes, based on the evidence. on Mile High Report - 10/20/09 3:54 PM EDT
Commented JD? on Keep on Keepin' On - Denver Broncos Find A Way to 6-0 on Mile High Report - 10/20/09 12:45 AM EDT
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Commented Kyle locked in on Eddei there on Denver Broncos at San Diego Chargers - 4th Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/19/09 11:20 PM EDT
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Commented Bear!! on "As for how Orton feels, he is in heaven. He's playing behind an offensive line that gives him... on Mile High Report - 10/19/09 5:59 PM EDT
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Commented You haven't seen Animal House, have you? on Some motivation for tonight......
GO BRONCOS! on Mile High Report - 10/19/09 5:57 PM EDT
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Commented CAUSE WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH........................... on Some motivation for tonight......
GO BRONCOS! on Mile High Report - 10/19/09 5:39 PM EDT
Commented Kyle Orton touchdowns: 7 on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 11:46 PM EDT
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Commented +1 on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 11:44 PM EDT
Commented W.T.F. on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 11:40 PM EDT
(2 replies)
Commented Orton's really shouldn't count as a turnover. on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:49 PM EDT
Commented Dort #1... on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:45 PM EDT
Commented Listen to this from ESPN: on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:30 PM EDT
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Commented 3.5 on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:27 PM EDT
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Commented I feel sorry for the 80,000 people that bought tickes to that. on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:27 PM EDT
Commented wow... on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:21 PM EDT
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Commented Especially Tennessee. on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:20 PM EDT
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Commented There's a new thread on the main page on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:17 PM EDT
Commented on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:13 PM EDT
Commented Is it over? on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:10 PM EDT
Commented Me in 40 seconds: on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:06 PM EDT
Commented on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:04 PM EDT
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Commented Jesus... This whole game just... on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 8:01 PM EDT
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Commented on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:59 PM EDT
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Commented OMG on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:58 PM EDT
Commented I'm guessing you missed Kansas City-Washington. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:56 PM EDT
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Commented Interception..... on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:55 PM EDT
Commented I say it ends in a safety. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:53 PM EDT
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Commented Yeah, he could start for at least half of the teams in the league. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:52 PM EDT
Commented Hey, but they get Rice Krispee treats. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:49 PM EDT
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Commented For the love of God. on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:48 PM EDT
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Commented How many dorts for Huckdort Cutler tonight? on Sunday Night Football Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:45 PM EDT
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Commented I thought it was a SNF game?? on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:30 PM EDT
Commented Knowshon could steal the momentum with a huge game tomorrow. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:25 PM EDT
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Commented I think it's Vince Young's mom's turn to pass them out this week. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:20 PM EDT
Commented This is like one of those games on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:18 PM EDT
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Commented Haha epic fail. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:13 PM EDT
Commented And pitch a shutout. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:10 PM EDT
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Commented I really want to see the Pats put up 60. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:10 PM EDT
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Commented Andy Reaid is actually a genius of a clock manager. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 7:07 PM EDT
Commented Nope, just kidding.. they were a yard short. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 6:58 PM EDT
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Commented Go for it, apparently. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 6:56 PM EDT
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Commented That'll help. on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 6:52 PM EDT
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Commented The Titans just put in Vince Young on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 6:47 PM EDT
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Commented TOOOUUUUUCHDOOOWWWNNN PATRIOTS on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 6:43 PM EDT
Commented The Pats have a first and goal at the TEN 1 on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 6:39 PM EDT
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Commented But don't forget on NFL Week 6 Early Game Open Thread on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 6:35 PM EDT
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Voted for Wait, there's football on when the Broncos don't play? on Mile High Report - 10/18/09 11:56 AM EDT
Voted for In as a wild card or division champion on Mile High Report - 10/16/09 8:58 PM EDT
Voted for Shannon Sharpe on SBNation.com - 10/15/09 4:18 PM EDT
Voted for No on Mile High Report - 10/12/09 7:55 PM EDT
Voted for Denver on Mile High Report - 10/10/09 9:37 AM EDT
Voted for No, sit a year and get some rotational experience. on Mile High Report - 10/10/09 9:33 AM EDT



















