papigrande
Jun 14, 2008 Dec 09, 2009 51 5804
My name is Joe, I'm 17, and I live in Missouri. I have been clean since... oh, wait, wrong... yeah, nevermind.
It would be appropriate after reading that horrible Alcoholics Anonymous-parodying opening sentence and my Spinal Tap-referencing signature to assume that I am somewhat of a class clown on MHR. I have a tendency to hijack posts with van-related hijinks, and I like to make references to absurd early-nineties Saturday Night Live sketches (If Ed Hochuli were a hot dog, would you eat him?) and forgotten 1980's hair metal power ballads (my upcoming pieces: "Livin' on a Prayer: The Kyle Orton Saga," "I've got More Than a Feeling About Knowshon Moreno," "Good Times Really Bad Times: An Investigation of Mike Shanahan's Draft Strategery," and "Jay Cutler, Just Go Home Sweet Home.").
I also used to play football for my high school, but it took too much time away from my ninja training and my heavy metal band Poetic Injustice, in which I play the drums. Currently my skill level is like if John Bonham and Neil Peart had a son somehow, but he was retarded from having two dads and no mom so he couldn't play the drums. The band? Like if you crossed Boston with Anthrax.
In my free time I enjoy replaying my way through The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. My favorite temple fluctuates between the Forest and Spirit Temples. My least favorite is the Water, which once took me seven hours (straight, with three bathroom breaks) to beat. My favorite boss is either Twinrova or Volvagia, and I always hated Bongo Bongo. He's scary.
Also, I win at fantasy football and I am the bane of Zappa's existence. And finally....
O o
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| I'MMA FIRIN' MAH LAZOR BLAAAAAGH!!
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email:
a fan of
St. Louis Cardinals
Denver Nuggets
Denver Broncos
Ricky Bobby
Maria Sharapova is hot.
Colorado Avalanche
Recent activity
Commented That hurts. Harris is one of the best. on Ryan Clady selected to USA Football/NFLPA 'All-Fundamentals' Team on Mile High Report - 12/08/09 9:06 PM EST
Voted for Earn 1st place wild card spot on Mile High Report - 12/06/09 11:30 PM EST
Voted for ...end with the same regular season record as SD this year. on Mile High Report - 12/04/09 11:13 PM EST
Voted for Jeremy Bates on Mile High Report - 12/02/09 4:51 PM EST
Commented That can't possibly be right. on A little perspective on the Bronco offense: Barring a scoring deluge over the next 5 weeks,... on Mile High Report - 11/30/09 11:36 PM EST
(1 reply)
Voted for It's hard to achieve, but they're trying on Mile High Report - 11/29/09 11:50 PM EST
Commented Thanks Arch and Raven! on The Kansas City Chiefs look to extend their winning streak to three games when they visit the San... on Arrowhead Pride - 11/28/09 9:53 PM EST
(1 reply)
Commented Totally with you on the Broncos. I think they'll come out and make a statement. on John and Friends Predict....Week 12 in the NFL on Mile High Report - 11/28/09 9:44 PM EST
Commented I like Dexter McCluster on Encouraging signs for the 2010 NFL Draft. on Mile High Report - 11/28/09 9:06 PM EST
Commented Go.... Chiefs? on The Kansas City Chiefs look to extend their winning streak to three games when they visit the San... on Arrowhead Pride - 11/28/09 6:47 PM EST
(1 reply)
Commented A note on Spikes: on Second Broncos Mock Draft, with a Projected Trade on Mile High Report - 11/28/09 6:33 PM EST
(1 reply)
Commented I don't care about the 12 TD passes, personally. on Second Broncos Mock Draft, with a Projected Trade on Mile High Report - 11/28/09 6:30 PM EST
Voted for 10 on Mile High Report - 11/28/09 12:39 PM EST
Commented I like the players you pick on Second Broncos Mock Draft, with a Projected Trade on Mile High Report - 11/27/09 10:51 PM EST
(2 replies)
Commented Polumbus was right back in as well. on Denver Broncos 26 - New York Giants 6 - Post Game Discussion Thread on Mile High Report - 11/26/09 11:38 PM EST
(1 reply)
Commented Wasn't here for the open thread festivities.. on Denver Broncos 26 - New York Giants 6 - Post Game Discussion Thread on Mile High Report - 11/26/09 11:37 PM EST
(5 replies)
Commented It looked like a stinger to me on Denver Broncos 26 - New York Giants 6 - Post Game Discussion Thread on Mile High Report - 11/26/09 11:36 PM EST
Voted for 10 on Mile High Report - 11/23/09 3:50 PM EST
Voted for Play him. Denver must keep the lead and the tie-break over SD to make the playoffs. on Mile High Report - 11/20/09 4:02 PM EST
Voted for San Diego on Mile High Report - 11/19/09 3:58 PM EST
Voted for I have NO idea on Mile High Report - 11/19/09 3:57 PM EST
Commented I agree with kentucky. on Redskins 27 - Broncos 17 Post Game Discussion on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 4:21 PM EST
Commented Are you happy, Orton haters? on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 4th Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 3:59 PM EST
Commented Dude, on the play action the linebackers bought it and he had 2 guys open underneath. on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 4th Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 3:53 PM EST
Commented Running game is hot. on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 4th Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 3:34 PM EST
Commented That's what I never understood. on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 4th Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 3:31 PM EST
Commented BUT HEY!! HE CAN THROW THE BALL 70 YARDS!!! on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 4th Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 3:30 PM EST
Commented See how much we miss Orton now, haters? on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 4th Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 3:30 PM EST
Commented It's almost like Dan Dierdorf wants him to get hurt. on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 3rd Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 2:39 PM EST
Commented Am I the only one that thinks that we have nothing to worry about with Orton? on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 3rd Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 2:39 PM EST
(3 replies)
Commented We need to fix the special teams. on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 3rd Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 2:32 PM EST
(1 reply)
Commented I love that drive at the end of the half. on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 3rd Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 2:31 PM EST
Commented MY THIRD GRADE COUSIN COULD HAVE THROWN THAT PASS! on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:31 PM EST
(3 replies)
Commented WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:31 PM EST
Commented >_< on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:30 PM EST
(1 reply)
Commented WTH. on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:25 PM EST
Commented How about another TD?? on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:20 PM EST
Commented Yay! Ball on the 40! on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:20 PM EST
Commented MUKATSUKU!!!! on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:19 PM EST
Commented Are we missing McBean that much? on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:18 PM EST
(1 reply)
Commented Well, that was shitty. on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:17 PM EST
Commented Meh. He only threw it 50 yards. on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:07 PM EST
(6 replies)
Commented BOOM! on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:06 PM EST
(1 reply)
Commented I think Knowshon will have a big receiving game today to help set himself on the right track. on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:01 PM EST
Commented TAAAAKE IIIIITT!!!! on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 1:01 PM EST
Commented "Eddie Royal is a very talented return man." on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 12:56 PM EST
(1 reply)
Commented password is listed on the site on Denver Broncos at Washington Redskins 1st Quarter Open Thread on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 12:55 PM EST
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Voted for Broncos dominate in all facets (including the scoreboard) on Mile High Report - 11/15/09 12:52 PM EST
Voted for Dallas on Mile High Report - 11/14/09 6:10 PM EST
Commented IT might be that you get fined in proportion to your salary on Cutler fined $20,000 for abusive conduct toward official on Mile High Report - 11/14/09 6:09 PM EST
(1 reply)
Voted for Playoffs. on Mile High Report - 11/13/09 4:02 PM EST
Voted for 12 or more on Mile High Report - 11/10/09 3:48 PM EST
Commented Just a quick question on Horse Tracks 11/9/09 - Chargers cut Broncos' AFC West lead to 1.5 games; Denver hosts Pittsburgh... on Mile High Report - 11/09/09 11:17 AM EST
(1 reply)
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