No_glue_2

papigrande

  • joined Jun 14, 2008
  • last login Oct 28, 2011
  • posts 55
  • comments 6062

My name is Joe, I'm 17, and I live in Missouri. I have been clean since... oh, wait, wrong... yeah, nevermind.

It would be appropriate after reading that horrible Alcoholics Anonymous-parodying opening sentence and my Spinal Tap-referencing signature to assume that I am somewhat of a class clown on MHR. I have a tendency to hijack posts with van-related hijinks, and I like to make references to absurd early-nineties Saturday Night Live sketches (If Ed Hochuli were a hot dog, would you eat him?) and forgotten 1980's hair metal power ballads (my upcoming pieces: "Livin' on a Prayer: The Kyle Orton Saga," "I've got More Than a Feeling About Knowshon Moreno," "Good Times Really Bad Times: An Investigation of Mike Shanahan's Draft Strategery," and "Jay Cutler, Just Go Home Sweet Home.").

I also used to play football for my high school, but it took too much time away from my ninja training and my heavy metal band Poetic Injustice, in which I play the drums. Currently my skill level is like if John Bonham and Neil Peart had a son somehow, but he was retarded from having two dads and no mom so he couldn't play the drums. The band? Like if you crossed Boston with Anthrax.

In my free time I enjoy replaying my way through The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. My favorite temple fluctuates between the Forest and Spirit Temples. My least favorite is the Water, which once took me seven hours (straight, with three bathroom breaks) to beat. My favorite boss is either Twinrova or Volvagia, and I always hated Bongo Bongo. He's scary.

Also, I win at fantasy football and I am the bane of Zappa's existence. And finally....

O o
/¯________________________________
| I'MMA FIRIN' MAH LAZOR BLAAAAAGH!!
\_¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

A Fan Of...

  • MLB St. Louis Cardinals
  • NBA Denver Nuggets
  • NFL Denver Broncos
  • NHL Colorado Avalanche
  • NASCAR Ricky Bobby
  • Tennis Maria Sharapova is hot.
  • MMA Taylor Layne W (pleasedon'tkillme)
User Blog
FanPost
30

Pre-Draft Open Thread, Anyone?

Is anyone else completely at a loss for what to do for the next three hours? I can't find anything to do with myself at all. I've tried eating, sleeping, watching South Park, but I'm stuffed, I...

"Everybody knows how Al Davis is. What people and fans don't realize is when I did sign that...

4

"Everybody knows how Al Davis is. What people and fans don't realize is when I did sign that contract, I offered to give it back. So that's the thing people need to realize and need to hear is that I don't take money just to take it. [...] When I was in Oakland, I offered to give that money back, and they said 'no.' "

Javon Walker, free agent bust
FanPost
16

MOCK DRAFT! (Just Kidding, It's Another Uniform Concept)

I was originally going to post this as a comment on Orange Crush'd's post, but it got too long and I didn't want to hijack his thread. So anyway, here's the backstory: I was perusing them internets...

WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE WRONG OFFSEASON TO QUIT SNIFFING GLUE?!?! Seriously though, I haven't...

6

WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE WRONG OFFSEASON TO QUIT SNIFFING GLUE?!?! Seriously though, I haven't seen a computer in a week and a half and this is what I come back to? I really thought Brandon had changed. Guess he played all of us. Man, between this and the Rev dying, this has been a suckish week. *Sigh* Back to the Van to do some glue with my future self and those four tranny midgets he picked up at the Home Depot... Damn Broncos...

FanPost
20

Open Season on Trolls!!

This is going to be one of those "how to make MHR better" posts, and it deals with trolls and how to fight them. I'll try to keep it short and sweet. We've been experiencing a substantial amount of...

FanPost
28

The enigma of our defensive line; a look at what we already have

Josh McDaniels and company caused a lot of controversy this weekend by not adressing what many of us armchair experts proclaimed was our biggest need: defensive line. Instead, we loaded up on...

FanPost
11

In the Spirit of Draftivus- Because What We Need Right Now Is More Mock Drafts!

I made my original mock draft a few weeks ago, and for obvious reasons it has become obsolete. (Damn you Jay Cutler! Damn you!!) Like everyone else, I decided to revamp my mock to include our new...

It's the dawn of a new era. The Fourth Age of the Denver Broncos: The Era of Neckbeard.

3
Orton

It's the dawn of a new era. The Fourth Age of the Denver Broncos: The Era of Neckbeard.

Got Spleen? 2009 Broncos starting QB Chris Simms.

7
Prod

Got Spleen? 2009 Broncos starting QB Chris Simms.

FanPost
26

Jumping on the Bandwagon: Another Mock Draft to Pass the Time

This was originally going to be a comment on HT's Depth Craft post, but after a few minutes of draft research I got a little carried away and realized that I would have made the longest comment...

This is Darren McFadden's car. This is what he drives around in. In public. Actually, now that I...

8
6a00c22529b8c0604a00cd974288f44cd5-500pi

This is Darren McFadden's car. This is what he drives around in. In public. Actually, now that I think about it, this wouldn't seem out of place at all in Oakland.

FanPost
52

Mile High Report Dot Com.

I'm putting this post up for a number of reasons. One is to vent; I use this site to let off steam. Another is because I feel like I need to get something off my chest, something that I think has...

IMO, a pretty accurate description of what's going on right now. I wish this idiocy would just end,...

+
Caption-contest

IMO, a pretty accurate description of what's going on right now. I wish this idiocy would just end, along with the media clusterf**k that came along with it. Oh, and I think the fans are supposed to caption this, or something. So if you think you know what Jay and McD are saying to each other and it's really, really funny, go to iwantmyrocky.com and submit it.

FanPost
38

NFL Draft: Second Primaries

The Combine is done and the final stretch of Draftivus is about to take place. The anticipation for the Final Ceremony is palpable. Just remember not to drink the punch. :) If you recall, a few...

FanPost
13

A Little Fun With Free Agency and the Draft

Remember HarvJNep2n's thoughtful post a few weeks back that enticed us to bust out our crystal balls and think about what would happen in 2009 if we hired the different coaching prospects? Well,...

FanPost
40

The Draft: First Primaries

That magical time of year is upon us: Dravtivus is here at last! Everyone is undefeated, the future is bright, and young stars are about to begin their careers with new teams. Best of all, pitchers...

Horvil Tiki's Tecmo Bowl Recreation of Super Bowl XXXII. This one's for John.... guy.

3

Horvil Tiki's Tecmo Bowl Recreation of Super Bowl XXXII. This one's for John.... guy.

Jeopardy makes fun of Bill Belichick. This is absolutely priceless; however, I think the guy should...

1

Jeopardy makes fun of Bill Belichick. This is absolutely priceless; however, I think the guy should have been counted wrong. He answered, "Who is Bill Belichick?" where the correct answer should have been "What is Bill Belichick?" seeing as he is not human, but a robot devoid of emotion programmed to ruthlessly dominate the NFL by bending the rulebook.

FanPost
153

How Not to Draft- By Mike Shanahan

So the head coaching search is over and the reloading season can begin anew. Completely anew, as hasn't been the case in many a year. (14 years, to be precise.) It is a time when we can pretend to...

FanPost
230

Josh McDaniels Press Conference Open Thread

The Denver Broncos have announced Josh McDaniels as the new Head Coach to replace Mike Shanahan. Pat Bowlen will speak first, followed by Josh McDaniels. McDaniels will answer questions of the...

FanPost
56

VOTE '09: Who do you want to be the next head coach?

I'll keep this short and sweet. Out of all the candidates presented so far, who would you hire to be the next head coach if you were Pat Bowlen? Hopefully all of us already know a little about all...

The Bills will play hard, and I'm not sure what the Broncos will play for, after learning they've...

4

The Bills will play hard, and I'm not sure what the Broncos will play for, after learning they've clinched the AFC West shortly after the opening kickoff.

Peter King's breakdown of Bills-Broncos game More lazy MSM BS. Had Peter King, in all his wisdom, read anything about this game anywhere, he would have noticed that Mike Shanahan is turning off all the TV's with the Chargers game on them so the Broncos will stay focused. I vote that we from now on refer to the MSM as the BSM.

Someone appears to have stolen our domain name.

2

THEmilehighreport.com? Old-School Living For Today’s Man? WTF? 0.o

Ryan Clady Gets MSM Love

1

Thank you, Bucky Brooks, for being the first MSM guy to realize that Clady kicks @$$. You win a prize. Here's a sample from the article: "When the Broncos selected offensive tackle Ryan Clady in the first round of April's draft, few expected the rookie to play at an all-star level during his first season. But after watching the former Boise State star shine during his first year, several scouts are already hailing Clady as a perennial Pro Bowler." HOW EV AH!!! (Stephen A. Smith) the article concludes with: "He has been good, but not great, in my opinion," said an AFC West scout. "He is solid in pass protection, but only a marginal run blocker at this time. I don't see him as a Pro Bowler in 2008, but I can see him developing into a Pro Bowl-caliber player in a year or so." WTF!!!!!!!!! Good but NOT GREAT?!?!?! AFC West scout, my ass. I'll bet that was a faders scout, and that would explain why they SUCK!! Their scouts SUCK!! Or, it was a Chiefs scout, and that is why they SUCK!! Or a dolty dolt scout and that's why they SUCK!! Did you not watch the Chiefs game and see what he did to those linebackers??? Or the Jets game?? Runners going to Clady's side are averaging over 5.5....... you know what, maybe it's not even worth it anymore. Bucky, give me your prize back.

Peyton Hillis, we salute you! Hats off to Peyton and let's see him get ready to be the feature back...

37
Milehighsalute

Peyton Hillis, we salute you! Hats off to Peyton and let's see him get ready to be the feature back next year.

FanPost
27

The Other Tackle Named Ryan

On this site, we all know who Ryan Clady is. We all know that he's having not only a tremendous rookie season, but one of the greatest seasons an offensive tackle has ever had. We all vote for him...

Broncos-Jets Highlights!

+

via nfl.com "That's the way Denver gets points." "That's how you answer a bad call, uh, uhhh, uh, a situation that you can't control. Go back and score" I'm going to say this one last time: fuck the national media. The MSM wanted the Jets to win this game so they could laud Favre and his merry men, and they are blaming the Broncos' hot start in this game on OFFICIATING? I'm sick and tired of this east coast BS. It's BS. Yeah, right. Look down at my other fanshot to see what they have to say about our defense. I wonder if Shanny showed them that video before the game?

NFL Network breaks down the Broncos at the Jets

+

Looks like they were wrong a little bit. A little bit lot.

FanPost
19

MHR Fantasy Football: Week 12

It's week 12, the playoff picture is becoming clearer, and the Wildebeests are dominating everything, ever. So far, they are the only team that has a playoff spot locked down. Here's a look at the...

FanPost
20

MHR Fantasy Football: A Week 11 Breakdown, Part 1 of 2

  Standings Week 11 Recap Albino Wildebeests 80.15, Blue Collar Broncos 73.25 Despite some... questionable...coaching decisions by Papi (Jamal Lewis over Marion Barber?), the Wildebeests...

Showing 1 - 30 of 55 Older
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join SBNation.com

You must be a member of SBNation.com to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SBNation.com. You should read them.

Join SBNation.com

You must be a member of SBNation.com to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SBNation.com. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.