No_glue_2

papigrande

  • joined Jun 14, 2008
  • last login Oct 28, 2011
  • posts 55
  • comments 6062

My name is Joe, I'm 17, and I live in Missouri. I have been clean since... oh, wait, wrong... yeah, nevermind.

It would be appropriate after reading that horrible Alcoholics Anonymous-parodying opening sentence and my Spinal Tap-referencing signature to assume that I am somewhat of a class clown on MHR. I have a tendency to hijack posts with van-related hijinks, and I like to make references to absurd early-nineties Saturday Night Live sketches (If Ed Hochuli were a hot dog, would you eat him?) and forgotten 1980's hair metal power ballads (my upcoming pieces: "Livin' on a Prayer: The Kyle Orton Saga," "I've got More Than a Feeling About Knowshon Moreno," "Good Times Really Bad Times: An Investigation of Mike Shanahan's Draft Strategery," and "Jay Cutler, Just Go Home Sweet Home.").

I also used to play football for my high school, but it took too much time away from my ninja training and my heavy metal band Poetic Injustice, in which I play the drums. Currently my skill level is like if John Bonham and Neil Peart had a son somehow, but he was retarded from having two dads and no mom so he couldn't play the drums. The band? Like if you crossed Boston with Anthrax.

In my free time I enjoy replaying my way through The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. My favorite temple fluctuates between the Forest and Spirit Temples. My least favorite is the Water, which once took me seven hours (straight, with three bathroom breaks) to beat. My favorite boss is either Twinrova or Volvagia, and I always hated Bongo Bongo. He's scary.

Also, I win at fantasy football and I am the bane of Zappa's existence. And finally....

O o
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| I'MMA FIRIN' MAH LAZOR BLAAAAAGH!!
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A Fan Of...

  • MLB St. Louis Cardinals
  • NBA Denver Nuggets
  • NFL Denver Broncos
  • NHL Colorado Avalanche
  • NASCAR Ricky Bobby
  • Tennis Maria Sharapova is hot.
  • MMA Taylor Layne W (pleasedon'tkillme)
User Blog

The newsletter, Arrowhead Pride, goes through the Chiefs' first three rounds of the draft for the...

1

The newsletter, Arrowhead Pride, goes through the Chiefs' first three rounds of the draft for the past seven years. Fifteen players were drafted on defense...which now rates last in the league. What happens? Does an evil genie hand them a magic potion when they get there?

via http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/dr_z/11/19/week.12/index.html?eref=T1

The newsletter, Arrowhead Pride, goes through the Chiefs' first three rounds of the draft for the...

20

The newsletter, Arrowhead Pride, goes through the Chiefs' first three rounds of the draft for the past seven years. Fifteen players were drafted on defense...which now rates last in the league. What happens? Does an evil genie hand them a magic potion when they get there?

Dr. Z's Weekly Power Ranking Column at SI.com And that's why you write FanPosts around here. Because Dr. Z may mention your post on SI.com. Nice work DThomasReigns. -Chris
FanPost
21

MHR Fantasy Football: Week 10

Standings

FanPost
67

Calling Out to the Fans: It is Time to Take a Stand.

Over the last few hours, as I've read the comments of fans and heard the comments of Guru, I've been blindsided by an overwhelming sea of negativity as surely as I was blindsided and potentially...

FanPost
17

MHR Fantasy football, Week 8

Through 8 weeks of the fantasy season, the official MHR Fantasy League's playoff picture is starting to take shape. The Albino Wildebeests, barring a monumental fantasy collapse, are the only lock...

FanPost
46

MHR FFL- Updated with Rankings

 It's week six of the fantasy season, and the MHR Fantasy League has turned into one great big fantasy mosh pit. Looking at the standings, you will see that eight out of the twelve teams are...

FanPost
34

MHR Fantasy Football Rankings and Stats

With Guru's permission, I am going to start doing a weekly update of the official MHR Fantasy Football League on Fleaflicker. After this initial post, I will move the segment to Thursday, as...

"I'm healthy. You're going to have to have me around for a while. I'm fine, really. I take all the...

2

"I'm healthy. You're going to have to have me around for a while. I'm fine, really. I take all the tests four times a year. I get a checkup on everything, echo and all those things. All the blood work, I do that four times a year. My mother, you know, she lived a long time, 103. I hope nothing happens. Because disease is the one thing, boy, I tell you, it's tough to lick. It's tough to lick those diseases. I don't know why they can't. It bothers me they won't let us use -- and it doesn't mean that I'm Republican or Democrat -- the stem-cell. I think it could help.'' --Raiders general partner Al Davis, 79, in a sidebar discussion with reporters after his classic news conference last Tuesday.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/peter_king/10/05/week5/1.html

Spencer Larsen owns Dontrell Savage.

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Spencer Larsen owns Dontrell Savage.

FanPost
11

Random (non loss related) Chiefs-Broncos Musings

Nothing negative here (except I'd like to tell Jay that Ray Charles could have seen that Tony Scheffler was wide open on that second interception and that Stephen Hawking could have thrown a better...

FanPost
10

Do you think they're going to need a helicopter?

To remove that giant freaking orange and blue egg from the middle of Arrowhead Stadium? Honestly, I don't think any of you could see it on TV, but after the game it was practically blocking out the...

FanPost
6

Tales From the Heartland

Before I begin, I would like to preface this post with the fact that it is inspired by, and therefore in imitation of the "Tales From the Sunny Side" posts. Hey, the best form of flattery is...

FanPost
18

Where did the bikini thread go?

For some reason, the bikini thread is not showing up in my "recommended fanposts" window, and I want to know why! Did I miss something? You all weren't posting nude pictures or something, were you?...

Peter King say what?!

1

Peter King has us winning in week 2 against the Chargers. I'm not sure if this is a good thing. Here's what he has to say about the game: Too many nicked up Chargers. Shawne Merriman takes a seat till 2009, and now LaDainian Tomlinson joins Antonio Gates with a bum toe. The Broncos are new and improved. Jay Cutler is going to be really good. He's got two good tackles to protect him -- Ryan Clady and Ryan Harris. This game could go a long way toward establishing Denver as a contender.

FanPost
7

Al Davis Just Wants to Get Some

I was doing my Algebra yesterday while listening to MHR Radio when a thought occurred to me. Just as Guru was playing the Lane Kiffin interview, I came up with an analogy for Al Davis that the...

Apparently the Broncos have th 7th best fans in the league.

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ESPN ranked all the NFL fans from 1 through 32. They put the Steelers first, followed by the Packers, Browns, Eagles, and Chiefs. Umm, idiot much? Remember back in 1990 befor the Chiefs brought in Carl Peterson, when they were 2-14 every year and sold 12,000 tickets to home games? I don't, but my dad certainly does. Lectures everyone in sight about it, in fact. Putting Denver at 7 is a little low, but the number does have some significance with us, and we're ahead of the Raiders, who came in at #9, so I'm not all mad. I'd have to say Denver is in the top 5 at least, and I'd put them right behind the Packers at number two. I know, I know. But when your stadium has a bigger capacity than your town has residents and you've still been sold out for 60 years, you're doing something right. Everybody laugh at the Chargers for being #22, and the Cardinals, who came in last.

FanPost
5

Former Titan claimed by Broncos.

According to The Tennesean, former Titan Safety Calvin Lowry was claimed off waivers by the Denver Broncos. I'm a Broncos fan, and I'm coming over here from Mile High Report, and on behalf of the...

FanPost
2

Lynch making Patriots debut tonight.

So I just flipped to NFL Network, and the Patriots and their newly-acquired future Hall of Fame safety are playing the Bucs The game is taking place in Tampa, where he played the first ten years of...

HorvilTiki.com!!!!

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Need I say more? It got online 5 days ago, and has a link to MHR, but was made by some guy named panff.

FanPost
61

Does the Denver Post even care that the majority of its readers are Broncos fans?

 Ever since I joined this site, one of the most common things I've heard is that the blowhards at the Denver Post and Rocky Mountain News have probably the worst possible Broncos coverage in the...

FanPost
14

Jersey Numbers

A while back, I intended to write a blog about jersey numbers for my Myspace page, but then I realized that none of my friends use Myspace anymore and I hate Facebook, so I gave up on it. Yesterday...

FanPost
10

Nothing wrong with Nalen's knee.

Tom Nalen's MRI was just precautionary after all. After sitting out the last few practices with soreness in his left knee, on which he had anthroscopic surgery on June 6, His recent MRI revealed...

FanPost
14

John Lynch and the hall of fame

I think we all can agree that John Lynch will someday be in the hall of fame. He revolutionized the free safety position, was a vocal leader on all his teams, was a helluva playmaker on the field,...

FanPost
27

Should he stay or should he go, err, come back?

Now here is a topic that has been beaten to death and beyond over the last four months: Brett Favre's retirement. Is he really gone? Is he coming back? Where the Hell is Hattiesburg, Mississippi?...

FanPost
10

Disney, ESPN, to gobble up NFL Network?

According to si.com, ESPN, the mass-media mainstream corporate empire, is "in talks about a partnership" with the NFL Network, which is owned and operated by the NFL. Link In my opinion, if this...

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