But I’m now going to give you a mystery that has no answer that I can come up with.

The mystery is this:

How is it even remotely possible that the Kansas City Royals cleanup hitters — THEIR CLEANUP HITTERS — are hitting .211/.278/.301 this year? How? Seriously. How?

You probably saw this in the Baseball Reference Blog — and it boggles the mind. They list off what the cleanup hitters have done for all 30 teams. The Royals cleanup hitters are hitting 18 points worse than any other team, they are on-basing 19 points lower than any team, and they are slugging NINETY-EIGHT points lower than any team.

The Royals cleanup hitters are hitting worse than a replacement level catcher.

I’m going to repeat that but with italics:

The Royals cleanup hitters are hitting worse than a replacement level catcher.

Royals option 3B Alex Gordon to Omaha; activate RHP Kyle Farnsworth.

Bill Simmons has got Dayton Moore's back

No, I don't think [Soria's] out there. The only Royals that are out there that I've heard are Juan Cruz and Ron Mahay - at prices that are turning people off. Bannister to some extent. Willie Bloomquist, believe it or not. And they're listening on Teahen and Dejesus, but probably not much more than listening.

But the Royals, being the Royals, found they had a difficult choice. Sort of a cosmic choice, really.

Do you send down:

A) Luis Hernandez
or
B) Tony Pena Jr.

Philosophers have pondered this question right there with the chicken and the egg one. The correct answer, Aristotle said, is "You send down both." But Aristotle had a very weak understanding of the Royals minor league system.

This is are a TERRIBLE base-running team. No, seriously, terrible, horrible, one of the worst in memory. According to the Bill James base running numbers (which you will recall simply measure going first to third, second to home, first to home and various bases taken and baserunning mistakes), the Royals are a minus-74 base running team this year. MINUS-74 in only 75 games. No other team is even close (Padres are -39). In fact, the worst base-running team since 2002, when Bill and the guys started keeping this stat, is the 2003 Brewers, who were minus-91. The Royals might get there by the All-Star Break.

The buzz on the rumor mill is that the Royals are openly offering some veteran players in response to their disappointing season. Names making the rounds include David DeJesus, Mark Teahen, Kyle Davies, Brian Bannister and virtually all of their relievers.

"One of their guys told me they’re looking to deal," one scout from another organization said. "He said everyone except Greinke, (Joakim) Soria and Meche are available.

"He said they want to hold on to (Billy) Butler and (Alex) Gordon, but they’re willing to listen."

One Royals official confirmed interest from other clubs in Davies, who was recently optioned to Class AAA Omaha after a series of poor starts.

ESPN’s Peter Gammons linked Teahen to the Giants, Red Sox, Cubs, White Sox and Mets in a recent Twitter message. Interest in Teahen could grow because Mark DeRosa no longer is on the market after a trade Saturday from the Indians to the Cardinals.

Farnsworth is one of only three pitchers in baseball history — along with Ryne Duren and Oliver Perez — to strike out more than one batter per inning and have a below average ERA+. Farnsworth is the only one of the three to have a better than 2-to-1 strikeout to walk ratio.

TPJ to DL, L. Hernandez up

Juan Cruz and Kyle Farnsworth will likely get save chances in Soria's absence, so grab Cruz for saves, Farnsworth for blown saves.

The latest figures from Forbes magazine show the Royals made $9 million last season before adjustments and contend the franchise’s value increased $13 million to $314 million.

•Feb. 22, 2008: The Royals absolutely, definitely and undoubtedly will win the American League Central in 2008. These guys all have the ability — this isn’t just dream talk here.

And you know what? Maybe all of them will do it. You want to talk about why the Royals will win? Maybe all of them will do it. Wouldn’t that be fun?

•Feb. 17, 2007: A miracle season would be welcome, of course — hey, it’s baseball and the Royals could win the American League Central, I can’t go a year without saying that — but the good news is that this time around the Royals are not counting on miracles. They are trying, instead, to change the entire landscape of Kansas City baseball. It’s a big job. It looks as if they’re on the right track.

•April 3, 2006: It’s April, and we should dream. We can complain in July. And August.

•March 16, 2005: Could. Might. Possibly. These are the words that get a sports fan’s heart pumping. There are possibilities.

•Feb. 27, 2004: If you figure that a baseball team in a certain city has not made the playoffs in 18 years, and the football team next door has not made the Super Bowl in 34 years, and the NBA team left 18 years ago, and the average temperature in July is 90 only it feels like 121, and the average person in this city gets bitten by 293,382 mosquitoes each summer, well, I’m telling you, the odds are real, real good that the baseball team will win this year.

•Feb. 27, 2003: Nobody wants to say anything nice about the Royals right now. It isn’t chic. It isn’t cool. People will laugh. But it’s February. And every February, no matter what, I believe the Royals will win.

•Jan. 27, 2002: It’s the Royals’ turn now. They’ve got young pitching. This is the year when it comes together. The Royals are going to win the American League Central.

No, I don’t expect you to come along this time. I don’t expect you to fall for this again. It’s crazy. It’s absurd. It goes against all logic. But January is not for logic.

•Feb. 25, 2001: We’re looking for believers. True Blue Believers. Because this is the year. This is the year the Royals take Kansas City on that magical pennant-race ride. This is the year of three-run home runs and ninth-inning strikeouts and Kauffman Stadium jam-packed in September, most of the people wearing old Royals T-shirts that were buried in the bottom of a drawer somewhere. This is the year. Can you feel it?

•April 2, 2000: The Royals could win the World Series this year. There you go. I said it. And I’m not joking. I’m not being sarcastic. The Royals could win it all. It’s possible. There you go. There’s nothing wrong with believing it. Sure, it will take a few breaks. It definitely will take some breaks.

But then, maybe the Royals are owed a few breaks.

Five Prospects to Watch (KC Star)

JoePo talks to scouts

"It won’t necessarily help win games," he says. "But it will help the team in ways that will help win games next year, maybe. By selling more tickets, helping the image, getting more draft picks (to sign), maybe. So maybe it can help in that way."
- Zack Greinke

Chuck James non-tendered

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth meets the Royals

It was like that. Banny was mostly working fastball as he does when he’s successful, but his secondary pitches were generally not coming in the red-zone 84-85 mph range. Plus, it looked like Banny had a really good fastball. He got 11 swinging strikes, which is a lot for him, and most of those came on fastballs. He had his command too. I sent him a text after the game, and he wrote back to say: "Just had to let my Babip regress before I started dealing again."

Seriously, how can you not love this guy?

Jenn Sterger officially fired by Sports Illustrated