SB Nation User Blog: rangerjae

I Like the White Sox: We're Going Streaking

rangerjae — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:25:22 -0000

Wow what a streak! Don't want to talk too much about it because...well you know.

A month ago we were talking about a shitty 3rd baseman with funny looking googles. We all were there to witness the resurgence of Gavin Floyd. We were worried about the "savior" coming into the game, and wondering why in God's name did Kenny get Pods on the team.

Now, things are different. We're kicking ass!!!!!!

It's an exciting to be a Sox fan for now. I say for now because if history has taught us anything about this team, don't expect great things 24/7. Perhps that can be grinder rule 232. Remember those days? The days of the Grinder Rules? Wasn't that a great time to be a Sox fan? Well, somebody pinch me, but I am feeling that feeling. Like the Sox can do some real damage.

Ofcourse this isn't 2005. This team obviously still has some real issues. But I was thinking about some other teams, and their issues. So come on we're not that bad. Here are some of the issues other teams are having.

TWINS-First of all, I hate them. There's their first issue. Not that that means anything, but who was on the cover of SI last week. That's right. One half of the dreaded M&M's as I like to call them, Joe Mauer and his ridicoulous sideburns. You're on the cover of SI pal. You know what that means, you're doomed. Injury coming around the corner buddy!!!

INDIANS-Here's a team that got swept by both Chicago teams. I am surprised the Indian still has a big smile on his face.

TIGERS-Maggs cut his hair, there has to be some kind of issue there.

YANKEES-You have Swisher on your team and the class clown act only goes so far. By August, Steinbrenner will get out of his hospital bed and strangle the little shit.

RAYS-Joe Madden didn't pick Ozzie to be on the All Star team. This means the AL will be the NL by 3 runs instead of 5. I guess that really doesn't have much to do with the Rays so sorry my bad on that one.

RANGERS-Those red uniforms of yours make people think that you are the Angels.

ANGELS-You have issues if you have a silly ass monkey as your team mascot when you are the Angels.

PADRES-Jake Peavy didn't leave your team for the White Sox. He left your team for the DL.

BLUE JAYS-You are holding onto a pitcher that wants to come to the White Sox, but he won't say it out loud. He has dreamed about being on the Sox since he became a "doctor." Let him go and you will feel better in the morning.

SEATTLE-Griffey can't save your asses, he didn't save ours last year. Oh wait we made the playoffs. Oh he didn't have anything to do with that, that's what I thought. (I have respect for him, and seeing him in a Sox uniform was fun, but he isn't a "kid" anymore)

NATIONALS-You can put Washington on your uniform but you still suck.

PIRATES-Some of their fans want to jump in the river when the balls go and not come back up until this team decides to stop trading away every piece of talent they have.

BRAVES-They're OK until the 5th inning of every 5th start.

A's-No more moneyball movie for you Billy Beane. They knew Swisher would be a topic so they scrapped it.

RED SOX-I can't think of any issues for this team. Other than they're in Boston and that they have the word Sox on their team when we all know that the only Sox in baseball are here in Chicago, unless you ask someone on ESPN.

DODGERS-Joe Torre is "so there."

METS-They suffer from Manuelidis. A disease our White Sox had until 2004. As you can see, we're somewhat better because of it.

CARDINALS-They acquired an ex-Cub, who is now injured.

CUBS-They decided on a few things. Have the Gatorade jugs instead of machines, keep a pharmacist on hand with plenty of antidepressants, figure out ways to inject HGH into average players so they can hit, and drink lots of vodka because the White Sox owned their ass last weekend.

I am sure I forgot a few so please discuss them at your leisure.

Bottom line, enjoy this stretch because when it comes to White Sox baseball, you never know what happens next.

I Like the White Sox: Happy Human is on to Something

rangerjae — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 11:25:52 -0000

Before we do this, props to Happy Human for her optimism:

aside from the Cubs series, the Sox interleague has gone like this:
L-W-W against the Brewers
L-W-W against the Reds

So now that the Sox have their first game loss against the Dodgers, does that mean that the next two games will be wins?

I guess so my lady.

What a series. What a week. The great Sox Coaster continues to thrill us fans on a daily basis. Perhaps the potential rookie of the year for the AL smoked a splif with the NL Rookie of the year recently. I mean did you see that throw yesterday. The game was won UNTIL that. What the hell Che? What happened? Are you losing your shit because it's your second year in the show buddy. You still haven't eaten anything? You will now because you will be most likely hanging with Soto smoking in the hallway.

So the bullpen was the unsung hero of the game. Hope Count is ready to go the distance today. He better be able to. We can't see a repeat performance of last Friday. He was good, but he needs to be better. The only guy that wasn't used in the pen yesterday was Gobble Gobble. He is a turkey. Big fat turkey that needs to be stuffed or traded. Whichever comes first.

I read Jim's article about the lovefest with the Dodgers that the PR department has. Good stuff. Perhaps we should blow up Camelback ranch and the Dodgers can go back to their little hole in Dodgertown, and we get Tucson Electric Park back. Then the D'backs and Jon Garland can do the electric slide out of that place. Why are we sharing with the Dodgers of all teams? Why is that considered a "premium" game? So we jack up prices because of the "Dodgers?" Come on, what's so great about them? No more Tommy Lasorda. No more Orel Hershiser (I am sure I misspelled his name), and Kurt Gibson. Who cares? So they are doing well for themselves. Manny suspended, or "rehabing". I think that should have been demoted to regular status based on that alone. Sure I loved when they swept the Cubs and hopefully we can follow them, and the leaders of our division in accomplishing that feat.

Cub fans? They are like ants. When there's is no food, they hide in the dark, but they all come running when cookie crumbs hit the floor. They all have their heads buried in the sand right now, but they'll come out beating their chests if they win a game or two at the cell. This will not happen my friends. Cub fans, you will be joining Soto in a kumbyah session with a hookah after the series this weekend.

Frank Thomas day coming to the cell. I can't wait. I am so there.

Sammy Sosa roiding. It took a Cub uniform to do it because he looked like Alexei when he was here.

Milton Bradley, you're a sorry ass bitch. If you are going to break a bat over your knee, follow through next time chump.

Lou Pinella RETIRE or better yet stay with the team and keep burying them

I think Maggs should grow his hair back to help us. He owes us that son of a bitch!!!! Damn Tigers. I wanted to see the CUbs beat them (God forgive me), but they couldn't even do that right? Someone needs to beat these guys. It will most likely have to be us. Game 163 is coming back! Southside Blackout is coming back! We will get home! And Justin Verlander you squirley little bitch, get ready, Q will be back to send your girlyman fastballs into the fan deck.

Yes I am pumped about todays game since i'm going and all. And the shots just keep on coming.

We can't sell the team off yet. We just beat the best team in baseball 2 out of 3 games. Lets crush the Cubs and keep the bats swinging baby!!!!

I Like the White Sox: Walking the Line

rangerjae — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 11:06:33 -0000

Scott Linebrink, you son of a bitch!!!!

You throw the ball over the plate, hopefully with fierce velocity, and wait for batter to swing, miss, repeat 3 times, and watch the batter walk to the dugout with his head down. Not lob softballs so people who are hitting .220 can send one into the stands. Not allow one of the most dangerous hitters in Tiger history to get to you. This guy was a closer once? Really. What did he do, close the doors of the Mcdonalds when he left? Are you freaking kidding me? Is he not well? He says no he feels great and refuses to answers anymore questions about the topic. Do you feel great about giving up what should have been a winnible game over the douchebags up north? Come on Scotty, we need to know you are well. As a professional player, you must answer 20 questions about your health. You know the rules you SOB!

Chris Getz, learn how to play second base better kid. At least your name isn't Andy Gonzales or Brent Lillibridge, so you know there is a positive vibe coming your way.

I have to say yesterdays lost was the hardest one to swallow. Not only because it was against the Cubs, but after the unbelivable pitching of Gavin Floyd and Johnny Danks, and the nice offensive plays for the last two days, all we are going to be thinking about is blowing a 4 run lead with 4 outs to go in the game. It felt to me once again that we were going in the right direction. We can only hope we can do some damage against the Reds in Cinci this weekend.

And once again, there's that question. Will the Sox be buying or selling? I think you have to be buying. 3rd base anyone? Would Beckham be better at second or can Alexei move to second if we pick up a quality third baseman?

I need to go back to Liney again. Why didn't he get the hook after the Lee HR? He should have. Why was Liney even in there? To regain confidence. I am so upset. We're stuck with this clown for 2 more years. Maybe I'm being too hard on the guy. But to blow a four run lead AGAINST THE CUBS. Now everyone in Boystown has come out of the closet with their Cubby Chubby waiting for some dude to come out of Dairy Queen. I meant to say Wrigleyville, but it's easy to get the two confused given the circumstances.

Cub fans didn't give a shit about the team anymore. They all were talking about stringing Lou up to a tree and setting it on fire. How they didn't care anymore. And then because they came back, now they're out on the streets signing their stupid ass anthem. We'll see what happens when Mark Derosa owns your sorry asses this weekend. Then where will you be? Back at Murphy's under the bar hiding because the offense took a shit again. Sox fans stick with their team, as long as no white flag trades take place.

Speaking about Derosa? How would you guys like to see him in a Sox uniform. Yeah I think its a good idea too. Tank Indians tank!!!!

I am feeling good about our team TODAY. But how can your emotions about the Chicago White Sox not change? You never know how the scenarios are going to play out with this team. You never know what kind of move Kenny is going to do next. Perhaps we could all hope that Jim at Sox Machine is on to something. This made me laugh very much. All I can say is forget about yesterday. They will bounce back and we'll be happy again.

The see saw White Sox continue on, as well as our heart rates, and our antiacid supply.

Cheers.

I Like the White Sox: 10 Things to Do

rangerjae — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 17:16:12 -0000

Hello campers, sorry I have been gone on vacation to do part duex of this unauthorized column (hopefully you guys authorize it one day), but I was able to miss the Sox lose another tight game to the Tribe and lose 3 games to the Tigers. I guess the silver lining is the fact they went into the series 5 1/2 back and then left the series the same way. Many of my fellow Sox fans think that the time has come to "blow up" the team. Start trying to move who you can. Get ready for the future. Well, you see, I'm one of those Sox fans that live in fantasyland. I truly believe they have a shot at this thing. Perhaps, not the WS, but at least the division. I think they can make a real run after the Tigers and it would be nice to see the city of Detroit have one more disappointment besides their stupid shit Red Wings blow game 7 in "hockeytown!!!" I have ten things the Sox must do.

10. Keep sending Count to the fountain of youth
I don't know where this guy got it from, but he is in the middle of not allowing one run in 16 innings. This is not the same Contreras we saw from out of the gate in April. No no no. He must of have some Jamba Juice with a shot of Vitamin C. Or perhaps the Chevy Pride Crew helped him "man up." Either way, if he can continue with this stretch, we can expect to be doing pretty well come September.

9. Buy a plane ticket for Fields to Planet "Q"

Sure Josh Fields is an unpredictable, unreliable, POS. But if we put him in the shuttle and send him to whatever planet Q came from, he will come back a strong, chipper young man who we can count on. He is a lifetime 8 or 9 and will never match Joe Crede's glove, but he is what we have right now so we need to ride this thing out.

8. Find out where Carlos is in Planet "Q"

As we all know, Carlos Quentin has went on a trip and return with bubble gum on his head. How nice. Perhaps the thing to do is get him a pair of heelies to run the bases. This way he can let the wheels do the running for him. Perhaps, Harold Baines can push him to second hard enough where he won't have to do anything.

7. Give the kids some better targets.

Danks, Floyd, and Richard all have the signs of being the next generation of the rotation. We all know Gavin Floyds big balls have hair growing on them again. Richard is 50 50, but we need Johnny Danks to come through for us. I suggest a heater in the dugout and a baseball bat may be just the thing for him. After all, Buehrle's troubles came to an end after the poor heater took a beating.

6. Find some prostitutes for BA.

Is it just me, or does BA hit better when he has the honeys hounding him? Perhaps after a trip to Detroit and Milwaukee, some of the bleacher blondes can find him after we get done beating the shit out that team up north. Chicago does have better looking women. Just the ones on the north side are easier because they just don't know any better. It would take at least 12 dinners to hook up with HSA or any other White Sox fan. It would take 3 beers for a Cub fan.

5. Ramirez and Beckham should play catch more often.

This would be a great "Of Mice and Men" storyline. Alexei, the defector from Cuba who is in the SS position now plays catch every game with the so-called savior Beckham. They can talk about life and loosen up every day. Alexei has Count to help. What a story if Alexei helps Becks through his way in the big leagues.

4. Get Ozzie more sunflower seeds

He needs to spit them at opposing teams trying to steal bases. He would have better luck spitting them at runners that AJ throwing them out.

3. JD needs to run faster

Dude, seriously. Pick up the pace. Life is passing you by.

2. More plaques for Jim Thome.

We should put one in the dugout that says "real big guy played ball here."

1. And most importantly, don't stop believing.

The White Sox are a team if history has taught us anything, will keep you on the roller coaster through the rough turns and the easy hills. We fans must still believe in them no matter what.

Hope it was fun. Talk to you all soon.

And here's to hoping our beloved White Sox piss all over the friendly confines starting Tuesday and send Lou Pinella into a nursing home!!!

I Like the White Sox: "I Don't Know is on Third" (First Pitch)

rangerjae — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:47:02 -0000

So I decided to do a weekly post on everything related to our favorite team, the Chicago White Sox. And I am not the "expert" as many people are around here. I just spit out my opinions (no matter how baseless) and we roll with it. I hope this is OK. So on with the show.

I was excited. I lost my shit. The Sox won 4 series in a row. Sure they may have gotten their clock cleaned 20-1 a few weeks ago, and Jake Peavy gave K-Dub a big FU, but 4 series in a row, including a sweep of the Royals! Grienke ERA skyrockets to 1.10 thanks to the Sox! Winning is fun! Shit yeah! Then a pitcher named Vin something or other stopped the train.

I can understand having difficulties against a pitcher you haven’t seen before, but every time the Sox get one, the lights go out. I was very scared and nervous about the game last night, until Pods got on base. Then I felt better. Too bad he had to stretch or something and got picked. After that, the train went into the dark tunnel. There was a chance of light but two mitt tush had to blow the candle out. It was lost and gone forever. Big win for the A’s and as luck would have it OC makes the final out on what could have been E-4.

Third base? WTF? Why when the Sox have a hole in their lineup, it turns into a pit. Crede, our clutch knight in shiny armor found a huge case of rust in the back leaves and ends up on all teams, those evil inhabitants of the terror dome up north, leaving us with Josh Fields. I thought he was on a great workout program with Joey Cora during the off season. What kind of workout program? Sweating to the freaking Oldies. Furthermore, out of all the numbers he could have picked, he takes number 7. Jerry Owens number. The number that is cursed forever. He could have taken 27, 77, even 107. Hell, there are no jerseys with 107. He could have been an originator. First jersey in baseball with three digits. This boy has no chance in getting seven more the way he’s been playing, but I guess we’ll leave the honeys to BA as usual. As far as two mitt tush goes, this is the shitbird we traded Swisher for. At least Swisher made us laugh once in a while in a ha ha way. Not a faux ha way like Wilson does. Jim over at Sox Machine pointed out, he has messed up 4 times out of 8 playing 3rd base. Perhaps he needs a new pair of goggles. Swimming goggles. Go take a swim in Lake Michigan my friend. Perhaps you can catch something in there. By the way, I think Jeff Cox can hit better than this clown. On a lighter note, watching the Cubs not only blow a no hitter but a 5-0 lead in 8th makes you feel better. Way to go Braves. I wonder if Vazquez was pitching and the Scrubs got 5 in the 5th. Don’t know and don’t care.

Any pitcher who doesn’t want to pitch on the White Sox is a stoner. Bottom line; we’re a contender for the division title. Which means 11 victories after that gets another WS. Peavy, stay in San Diego and pretend to be riding first class when you’re stuck in coach. Roy Oswalt, you’re still pissed we owned your ass in ’05, and you need to be a man and get over it. Stay in the juice box with your overpaid dinosaurs. They don’t deserve any of our pitchers, except the C&C rehab factory, and two mitt tush. Yes, he’s not a pitcher, but I don’t think I can stand seeing him in a Sox uniform for another day. How can we get rid of this guy? I don’t even think little league teams would want him. People who wear sport glasses are getting laser everywhere so they don’t even come close to looking like this bum. Sorry, got off topic. (I will do that a lot be warned.) If K-Dub is looking for a pitcher, K-Dub will get a pitcher. One who will be honored to come here and wear the uniform.

And last but not least, Frank Thomas. Should he come back? Yes. He can replace Walker as a hitting coach and bench player. I am all for originality. I am all for doing things different. Walker can be the Gatorade boy. He can keep the title, but we’ll have Frank teach people how to hit. This way, if we get into a fix, Frank can come to the plate and show people how to effectively strike out or hit a home run. It will be priceless. However he would have his work cut out for him when it comes to people like Lillibridge. After 5 minutes of trying to help this kid, the hurt would end up using him as a bat. In all seriousness, I think he should, like Griffey, finish his season with the team who he has spent the majority of his baseball life with. It’s the right thing to do. His number should be retired, but it shouldn’t be done at the cost of the team. We have the white, less dramatic version of Frank at DH right now. Either way, honor the man. Someone should have given him a phone call in 06. This is a great way to make up for it.

And having said that, remember to always call people and let them know you are going to shit on them because you have a better way of doing things. They will be upset, but you won’t have to call them an idiot afterwards.

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed.

Thomas coming back to south side?

rangerjae — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 12:10:44 -0000

So the Daily Herald reports in an article today that the White Sox may be reaching out to Frank Thomas about a possible last hurrah with our favorite baseball team. According to the article Thomas has been working out and looking to play for a major leauge team.

Frank Thomas, despite his attitude and occasional quirkiness, is one the best players in to wear a White Sox uniform. His contributions to this team must never be forgotten. Tthe face of the franchise for the 90's and he even contributed to the championship season with the amount of home runs he hit. (Let's face it, with the exception of Marte and Visciano, everyone did) Although he went down with the injury, he launched the ball many times. Number 35 is sure to be retired in the next couple years, and this is what's right.

On the other hand, if the Big Hurt comes back here, what the hell do you do with him? I don't think he can play 1B, even in a bench capacity. However, I don't think he's humble enough to play on the bench. There are no spots left. It would be nice to have another big bat in the lineup for now considering we don't know how much longer Q will be done, but what can you do?

I think the comment Ozzie said does sum up this whole situation quite nicely

"If we try to do something for him, he might get offended, like, 'I'm not ready to quit, I still want to play.' That's why the White Sox have to be careful about what they want to do, what they say, and let Frank make the first decision."

But can he truly be used, and do we need our baseline clogged with another big bat who can't run while we are in the middle of a dog fight for the Central.

What do you guys think? Would you welcome Big Frank 35 back and if yes, what do you do with him?

Poll

Should the Sox sign Frank Thomas?

Yes

77 votes

No

84 votes

161 votes | Poll has closed

Staring into the Eyes of Death

rangerjae — Wed, 27 May 2009 11:08:48 -0000

Well fellow Hawks fans, you have heard it all. The Hawks are done. After what happened Sunday, there is no way they come back from that. Detroit is too talented of a team. They have too much experience. The Hawks can't rely on Huet to goaltend. Blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Yes we heard this before. We heard it in the beginning of the season. Someone said we wouldn't make the playoffs. Someone said the Canucks would finish us. Blah blah blah.

One thing I can truly say is despite what I saw Sunday, this is a team that will not quit. This team knows its win or go home, and lives for the pressure. So I say to the scum of Detroliet, you guys better bring all you have. I hope that your two stars are still on the bench so the Hawks can take advantage this time. I hope Habi comes back. Most of all I want to see our Hawks play with controled aggression. Use it when it counts, not because you're pissed off over a bad call. Joey Q, keep your cool today.

Most importantly, lets go win this thing and two more after that. Beat the odds, make that stoner Barry Melrose choke on his words. Show all the experts that their words do not back up the intelligence. It's time once again for the Hawks to shock the world, as 3 games are all that is needed to get to the cup, but one game is needed to survive.

Thanks!

The outing on Friday

rangerjae — Wed, 20 May 2009 12:18:41 -0000

I would have to say this has been one of the most disastrous seasons I have ever witnessed in my 20 years of a White Sox fan.

However, there is still a chance to turn it all around. After all it is only May and as Larry said, our record was around this point last year and look how that turned out.

I believe the outing on Friday will be the surge of a comeback!!! We will be part of history. We will watch our beloved White Sox turn the page. They will take the Pirates and treat them like the NL Central bitches they are, and it will be target practice for the other set of clowns in that division who we will show are the top dogs in this city.

We might be clumsy now. We might be a little young. But with time and patience (and more send offs to minor league Charlotte) this team will rise again. And we will lead the charge at the South Side Sox outing.

I was feeling really bad about the Hawks yesterday so I needed to write something positive, no matter how much fiction is involved in it. But I was happy to see the Sox score more than 3 runs for once. Thanks and I am excited about Friday and hope to meet you all then.

Mike

PS They could really do much better. Like Ozzie said, can't get much worse.

Jason Taylor News?

rangerjae — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 17:00:25 -0000

Hey guys. Hope everyone is well as we are all getting pumped up for the season. Very excited about Pat White and Vontae Davis.

Was wondering if anyone has heard anything on the Jason Taylor front? Anything new that I haven't heard yet. Matty anyone talking to you about this? new rumors

I really am afraid NE is going to snatch him and that will not only sadden me, but I will be full of rage!!!!

Thanks

''Well, if I do, I want it to be in a White Sox uniform. I grew up as a White Sox fan. That was...

rangerjae — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 12:57:10 -0000

''Well, if I do, I want it to be in a White Sox uniform. I grew up as a White Sox fan. That was my favorite team, I apologize to the Cubs fans for saying this, but you don't have control when you are 6, 7 years old of your feelings. Your feelings are with the team you see as a child. For me, it was the White Sox.''-Carlos Zambrano was asked can he see himself playing on another team other than the useless bastards up north.

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/deluca/1480030,CST-SPT-deluca17.article