SB Nation User Blog: royhobbs

Small questions for the locals

royhobbs — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 06:23:22 -0000

Hello Rays fans,

A wandering Braves fan here, continuing on the consummate baseball quest to visit every Major League park. If the flights look good, I find myself eyeballing the remote possibility of visiting Tropicana Field, on Thursday July 9th, as the Toronto Blue Jays visit your hometown Rays, for an afternoon game.

If all goes according to plan, I really do not have a whole lot of time to wander about Tampa and St. Petersburg aside from just the ball game, but I would just like ask just a couple of quick questions, that I'm hoping the locals can help me out with.

Taxis - from Tampa's airport to the Trop is showing about 26.1 miles. Would you folks suggest that I cab it, or just plunk down the cash to get a rental - basically initial estimates are showing that I'd be paying $50 for the 12-hour window I'd be looking at, for an economy car. I guess what would help is if anyone could spare some knowledge of if there are any storage lockers in Tampa's airport or not; if not, without question, the rental car will become necessity, as it would become my storage locker on wheels for the day.

Tickets - given the fact that it's a day game, would you folks suggest I just eat it at the box office, or does the Trop have a scalper scene that would afford me a good shot at getting a good seat for a nice price?

Park - I can read the fluff on tampabayrays.com, but I want to hear from you the locals, if there is truly anything at the Trop that I should make a must-see in my visit? Btw, I recall back when the devil was still around that Trop parking was free; I imagine with the nice run and influx of popularity that's proabably changed?

Food - I'm a bit of a foodie enthusiast when traveling, and I'm all about trying new and unique (read: big and strange) things that are mostly exclusive to your area. So here's the question - I've got one meal available; where in St. Petes/Tampa do you recommend? If it's any help to the kind of weirdo I am, I'm a fan of Man v. Food on the Travel Channel, and I like to try weird things out.

And that's really about it. Like I said, I don't have much more than an afternoon to spend in your fair city unfortunately, otherwise I'd be asking a lot more questions. Any help that any of you guys can provide will be greatly appreciated, and all feedback is welcome. So thank you in advance, and I look forward to the ideas and suggestions you guys have in store for me.

PS - if DRaysBay is interested, I can put together an unbiased, outsider's write-up about my experience at the Trop after the trip, if it occurs. In fact, I'm actually hitting up your AAA affiliates in Durham a day prior, so I could be sure to throw that in, as well.

Previous parks, with the help of local folks all around MLB cities: Great American Ball Park, Dodger Stadium, Angel Stadium, PETCO Park

The way we watch baseball on TV is distorted

royhobbs — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:37:46 -0000

The way we watch baseball on TV is distorted

An interesting article about the two different ways baseball is broadcast on television, and how drastic a simple 14-15 degrees in perspective can make to a single pitch. As demonstrated by an at-bat between Peter Moylan vs. Kevin Youkilis.

Lame Attempt at Humor: A correlation between the Braves and ABC's TGIF sitcoms

royhobbs — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:25:31 -0000

I'm bored at work, and when all other channels of self-entertainment runs dry, I tend to seek out the activities that I think will help consume my time efficiently, at the same time making me appear busy to those who walk by my little box and have to engage in the nosy glance at what I'm doing. So that means, writing.

I am in my late twenties, so most of this is going to be somewhat nostalgic for anyone who is similar, or older than I am. But in this day and age, who's to say that not everyone is going to be able to relate to the nerdy-savant-ism that I express from time to time.

Some of you might disagree with my analogies, and that's fine. Feel free to discuss - this IS something meant to be light-hearted and something to help us take our minds off of negative garbage, and to stop slamming the Braves, and more importantly, one another.

In 1988, the ABC network had Friday night programming, geared to aim towards families. By 1989, it was anointed as "TGIF - Thank Goodness It's Funny" I had a conversation with a friend of mine about how awesome 80-90s sitcoms were, and how they are non-existent today, and then it went towards TGIF, and being me, I somehow managed to segue the Braves, and which TGIF show they were, into this conversation. I am extending this conversation, to you guys.

Full House is... Doyle Alexander

Despite how successful Full House was at really putting TGIF on the map, with their vaunted 8:00PM EST lead-off time slot, the show was such a hit, that they couldn't remain on Fridays. Eventually, Full House was traded away to a different time slot, where the show flourished for six more seasons on various other time slots, mostly Tuesday or Thursday nights, where they could really capitalize on families being grounded at home, instead of the competitive Friday nights. But the departure of Full House would eventually lead to the rise of one of the key components of the successful run of TGIF...

Family Matters is... Greg Maddux

Despite the fact that Family Matters was airing right after Full House, it wasn't until after Full House left, and in 1991, Family Matters was given the all-important 8:00PM EST lead-off time slot. And for six years, Family Matters successfully led off TGIF with wholesome, loveable comedy, and in a suitable ironic twist, the craze known as Urkel-mania, with his brainy, nerdy appeal, much like the real Greg Maddux, endeared to fans all around the country. Eventually, even Family Matters grew too big for TGIF, and had to move on, where it turned in one more fine season of wholesome family programming before retiring.

Step by Step is... Tom Glavine

Never quite as popular as Family Matters, Step by Step never once got the opportunity to be THE #1 program in the rotation, but let's face it - without Step by Step, the block would never have been as big as it grew without it. To some degree, it filled the void left by Full House, by having a normal suburban home strewn upside down, by the zany but wholesome lovable antics of two single parents marrying and smashing two extended families together into one cohesive unit. The show was underrated as a whole, and was evidenced by how often it was bumped around in its impressive seven-year tenure on TGIF. But it went to show its versatility, as it was primarly an 8:30PM EST show, but had stints at the 9:00PM slot, and even once, a less-desirable 9:30PM slot. But it got the credit it deserved in the end, when, along with Family Matters, grew too big for TGIF, and had to be moved off to greener pastures.

Boy Meets World is... John Smoltz

The last one to the party, but much like the real John Smoltz, he was the last one to really go. Despite coming to fruition in the 1993-1994 season, Boy Meets World still rang off a similar seven seasons much like the two superstars above it did, and much like the real Smoltz, even had a stint where the show was clearly "injured," in 1997, and had to go to the back end of the rotation and close out TGIF at the 9:30PM EST time slot. But it came back, and with Family Matters and Step By Step gone, Boy Meets World anchored down the 8:30PM time slot all the way until the very end of TGIF (not including the second-attempt at it in the early 2002-era)

Clearly, despite their sporadic timelines, TGIF's biggest success were between 1993 and 1996, much like the Atlanta Braves. It should be of no surprise that all three shows, Family Matters, Step by Step, and Boy Meets World were all airing in that time period. But do you want further proof?

Hangin' With Mr. Cooper is... Steve Avery

Mr. Cooper was literally only around between the 1993-1996 seasons, as mentioned above. And as great as the Big Three most certainly were, the contributions of Mr. Cooper should not go unnoticed, in the 4th starter role.

I don't have the Nielsen ratings to back me up, but given the corresponding information I just shared with you, I'd be willing to bet that TGIF won the equivalent of a World Series in the world of television sitcoms in 1995, but with great admirable ratings and numbers also between 1993 and 1996, with streaky success without the victories in all the other years.

Enjoy your weeks everyone. Feel free to discuss, but let's keep the vulgarities and personal attacks down just a smidge.

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - AKA Rosterbate here, and only here.

royhobbs — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 12:46:32 -0000

How quickly we forget when not so aptly reminded anywhere on the front page. Okay, it's getting to the point again, since our beloved Braves are currently playing well below expectations, that the "THIS and ONLY THIS is how we're going to fix them" rosterbatory posts and hypotheses(es) are starting to over saturate the FanPosts section. Some ideas, better than others, but I'm not going to lie, many have my face hitting the desk like a cocaine addict.

Since the old one got bumped off the front page by picture posts and why Chipper Jones is great, let us try this again:

ROSTERBATE HERE AND ONLY HERE.

(rosterbate = "write out your own hypothetical fixes," to those not in the know)

I do not care if you write out your own 40-man rosters or hell, even organizational depth charts. Go nuts with the batting orders that have Adam Dunn batting lead-off, and Magglio Ordoñez whom we got for Freddie Freeman/Francoeur/Free cash batting clean-up. As long as it stays in here, you're okay. Just keep in mind that you are at the mercy of other TCers who may or may not agree with you and will certainly let you know when you're wrong in probably the most blunt, unplesasantly, bitingly true words they can pull from their literary repotoire. So if you don't like it when people disagree with you, either don't post, or get ready to defend, because people flagging trolls/inappropriate because of a discrepancy of opinion is getting really old now. And since so few people actually like to verbalize agreement with an opinion, utilize the rec buttons to show your quiet, anonymous support for a comment you like, so that the user who wrote the comment knows that they're not alone in their opinion.

And should you decide to go nuts and ignore this post and put up rosterbatory posts anyway, they will get deleted. Whether you get an explanation (warning) or not to why is completely up to whether or not if yondaime4, gondeee or myself feel like doing it. Rosterbatory comments in threads, if not properly justified or relevant also risk deletion without explanation.

In case I missed anything else, here are the previous rules, written by yondaime4:

So here is what will be done. If you post something that coudl easily be commented into another existing post (I.E. rosterbating) then I or royhobbs will summarily delete it and warn you. (Understand also that a warning isn't always us being a dick, sometimes I just use to inform you why I did something ebcause it gives you a message when you log on the site. So if I delete your post and warn you just understand that I am trying to keep things smooth and concise in the fanposts).

If you FanPost a sarcastic or insulting post that is directed at someone else, you are probably doing the same thing that we all get annoyed at them for so your post will be summarily deleted and you will be warned (probably in a dickish fashion).

If you post something without enough words and then use some stupid filler to make up 75 words then you shouldn't be posting in the first place. It isn't hard to put 75 words in a post. Hell each one of my paragraphs here probably has 75. So you know what will happen with these kinds of posts? They will be summarily deleted and you will be warned (in a dickish fashion).

I'm not trying to be a dick or anything, but let's face it - way more often than not, there are users who are voicing complaint over the incessant uneducated comments, arguing, and verbal stabs at other users. And yes, I'm aware that this is the internet, and this kind of behavior is largely unavoidable, but at least if it's acknowledged and disclaimed, nobody can really justifiably complain, when it's actually enforced.

Atlanta Braves - the Least Educated Team in Baseball

royhobbs — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 21:51:05 -0000

Atlanta Braves - the Least Educated Team in Baseball

So apparently out of ALL the MLB teams, the Atlanta Braves have the least amount of players/coaches that went to, let alone graduated from a U.S. four-year college or university.

But between the correlation between education and winning in baseball? The Oakland A's (surprise), whom have the largest amount of educated staff, followed by the Arizona Diamondbacks and Washington Nationals, are all the bottoms of their respective divisions. Inversely, the LA Dodgers and Texas Rangers are the least educated in their divisions, but are on top of them, in the more important W-L category.

Offense or Pitching? Which would you prefer?

royhobbs — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 16:09:38 -0000

Let's face it - the Braves can't seem to have both at the same time. Obviously, this year is a year of inept offense, but some good starting pitching. Previous years, we've been privy to some Braves teams that were capable of generating a good bit of runs, but had pitching staffs that either couldn't start, or couldn't close.

FOX really loves to drive home the notion that Pitching. Wins. Championships.

But the rules of baseball state that one team must have more runs than the other team in order to be declared the winner of that particular game. And the Braves haven't been very good at scoring any runs, despite how well the pitchers might be pitching.

So instead of mulling about how much the Braves stink right now, throwing in the towel, or being yet another Negative Nancy (believe me, I'm quite not enthused about the Braves right now either), I'm going to write about some numbers, and ask the subject lined question. What is your preference - better offense, or better pitching? Because right now, the Braves can't have the cake and expect to eat it too.

It's objective, but I'm going to throw out some numbers from the last four (wow, has it really been that long?) years, and see if that helps sway anyone reading in one direction or another.

2005 - the last year the Braves made the playoffs

Record: 90-72
Runs Scored: 769
Runs Allowed: 674
Leaned towards: Offensive season.

A career year by Andruw Jones and his 51 homers and 128 RBI was the big story, but 13 members of the Atlanta Braves contributed with at least 20 RBI. Eight of them had at least 40 RBI (Estrada had 39). The pitching was wildly inconsistent all year long, but surprise emergences of guys like Horacio Ramirez and Jorge Sosa, both of whom contributed 10+ wins helped the Braves make their last playoff appearance before being exposed. The Braves scored 95 more runs than they had allowed, but at 674 runs allowed, they did a pretty good job of keeping the opponents off the board too. Makes sense that they'd win a division with this kind of output.

2006 - end of an era

Record: 79-83
Runs Scored: 849
Runs Allowed: 805
Leaned towards: Offensive season.

Andruw Jones had another superb season, anchoring the offense with 41 homers and 129 RBI, but Jeff Francoeur, despite his then-considered-paltry .742 OPS helped carry the offense with 29 homers and 103 RBI of his own. Adam LaRoche and Brian McCann exploded with 32 and 24 homers respectively while each driving in 90+ RBI. 10 Braves had at least 20 RBI (Todd Pratt, 19), and eight Braves cracked the 30+ RBI mark with Betemit and Langerhans just falling short with 29 and 28 a piece. Anyone remember that ridiculous stretch where the Braves hung like 75 runs on the Padres, Cardinals and Phillies? The Braves were scoring a lot and often, but the problem was that the pitching was allowing almost as many. Aside from Smoltz and the surprising Chuck James, the starting pitching was wildly inconsistent (even Huddy), and the bullpen was a disaster.

2007 - at least we finished above .500

Record: 84-78
Runs Scored: 810
Runs Allowed: 733
Leaned towards: Offensive season.

This was such a promising season. The Braves were still scoring a lot of runs, but the pitching was once again, poor beyond Smoltz and Hudson. Early on, the Braves were winning a lot of games by blowouts, but the problem was that they were getting blown out just as frequently. At the end of the year the Braves' record in blowout games (5+ run margin) was 24-20. Also keep in fact that 56 of the 87 run differential in scored/allowed was all Mark Teixeira. It was clear that if the Braves couldn't acquire starting pitching, they were going to go for a bigger gun to try and outslug their opponents. Unfortunately, this is a prime example of where their fine offense was knocked flat on its butt by the pitching that wins championships. And despite their pleasing above .500 season, it wasn't enough.

2008 - worst since '90

Record: 72-90
Runs Scored: 753
Runs Allowed: 768
Leaned towards: Pitching season, by default.

Barely, only because the Braves' pitching staff was demolished by injury far worse than it was in 2006, but the offense was outright pathetic. Losing Tim Hudson was devastating, and the whole Smoltz debacle was an awful way to see him limp through 2008. But the offense could not come through in any key situations, also evidenced by the abysmal 11-30 record in one-run games. Also this squad could never get the edge in any extra-inning scenario, evidenced by their 3-10 record in extra-inning games.

2009 - shouldn't we be better than this?

Current record: 30-34
Runs Scored: 268 (On pace for: 677)
Runs Allowed: 293 (On pace for: 741)
Currently leaned towards: Pitching season.

So prior to this season, the Braves went full head-on to put a big band-aid over the gaping gushing wound that was starting pitching, by acquiring Derek Lowe and Kenshin Kawakami, and making a trade for Javier Vazquez. That's fine and dandy, and combined with Jair Jurrjens and phenom Tommy Hanson, the starting rotation looks to be in decent shape. The offense, on the other hand is the new wound that is bleeding the team to death, as way too much stock was put into the faith that Jeff Francoeur would find out how to play good baseball again, Garret Anderson would be close to the median that he set in all those years out in Anaheim, and Jordan Schafer would be greatness out of the box. Neither of those hopes came to fruition, and the Braves are struggling to win ball games, because they can't score any runs to support the pitchers whom have pretty much been holding their end of the bargain and keeping the team close and most of the time going at least six innings.

If the Atlanta Braves continue playing like they are now, then a .460 winning% is all that should be expected, at best. The scary thing is that I do believe that pitching does win championships, and it's always evidenced when watching MLB playoffs, when a Carpenter, a Shields, a Francis or a Beckett just goes out there and makes potent offenses look like, well, the 2009 Braves. But if that's the case, then why do the last few seasons of non-playoff-caliber Braves baseball look so much better than what we're enduring now?

I think the reason why I'm so not enjoying this season is because when your team is down, then you have to hope that they can come back. Whereas when your team scores 8 runs a game, having to hope that they can just hold onto it, which seems safer, I'm guessing. To think that I'm thinking back to 2006, when the Braves would at least be in the lead when going into the 9th inning, even despite seeing guys like Chris Reitsma trotting out to go for the close, it just felt a lot more comforting knowing that we were in the lead.

Poll

So what do you think? What would you rather have?

An offense-heavy Braves squad

28 votes

A pitching-rich Braves squad

51 votes

79 votes | Poll has closed

Braves baseball from the Beach to Baltimore

royhobbs — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 14:42:27 -0000

Since I already used the TC group facepalm to tease upcoming stories and photographs, I'll have to say that if there's any other picture that sums up the group excursion, I would say it would have to be this one - cbwilk and I photobombing the Baltimore Oriole. The jerk actually had the audacity to shove me away, so the blur that is me, is me, forcibly making my way back into the photograph.

It's going to be tough to top the excellent fanpost cb wrote up, but I'll do my best. And it most certainly looks like people here could use a laugh or two, a distraction for a few minutes, or anything to help take their minds off of the abysmal baseball that our beloved Braves are playing right now. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, it doesn't look like it's going to get any better, what with six games with the Boston Red Sox, three games with the New York Yankees, three games with the Philadelphia Phillies, and a make-up game with the Chicago Cubs to boot, all coming after we're done in Cincinnati. I try not to tell people what they should be doing, but all I can really suggest is sit back, (try to) relax, and hold on to your butts, because it's June, and things might get a little bumpy around these parts.

Now before we begin, I must really warn you that this is going to be very photo-intensive, the largest photo post/travel story fanpost I've done yet. With two destinations covered here, that means twice the photos and words. I sure hope you have a high-speed connection...

Funny story is, it started with a friend and myself thinking about going to Miami to catch a game at Landshark (lol) Stadium, to see how empty of a park we could get in, opting for a Thursday afternoon day game to see the Marlins play either the Phillies or Cardinals, I can't remember at this point. And from there, we'd drive to St. Petersburg to see the Rays play against my friend's Natinals, and then we would both fly back to NOVA from there, and I would still continue on my plan to meet up with whichever brave TCers showed up to the Saturday O's/Braves game. Well, those plans kind of fell through, and I planned to just go up to Baltimore to catch multiple Interleague games.

"You should come," is what my roommate said to me one night while we were eating dinner. To Myrtle Beach, that is, as she was going for some convention of some sort. I had no interest in third-wheeling a convention of whatever capacity, but the light bulb went off in my head that this could be a perfect opportunity to see our High-A affiliates, the Myrtle Beach Pelicans at Coastal Field, another park I'd never been to. So just like that, I was headed to the beach, to see the tail end of a Pelicans homestand as they'd take on the Kinston Indians.

I arrived at the Beach a little later than I had hoped, but I was still in good spirits. My chances to possibly get some autographs from some of the more promising kids seemed dashed at that point, as I made a goal to set out for Jason Heyward, Freddie Freeman, and Cody Johnson. Oddly, I'm sure someone here knows, but Jason Heyward was not only not there, but his name was not even mentioned in the program anywhere. I knew he was nursing a sore oblique, but was that reason enough to striken his existence? Freeman was nowhere to be seen, but Cody Johnson was still on the field, and he was cool enough to autograph a baseball for me. I asked him how he felt about people comparing him to Adam Dunn, and he cooley responded "It's all good... Dunn's an awesome player... it's cool..."

lol at seeing a Pelicans Francoeur shirt. One of my chief goals of this excursion was to acquire a Myrtle Beach Pelicans ballcap. I have several Atlanta Braves hats already, and despite having gone to several of the minor league affiliates, I've never felt the need to get either a Richmond, Rome or Gwinnett ballcap - afterall, they're all still the Braves, use the same colors too. But the Pelicans - I swear, I sometimes think that pitchers' park aside, one of the main reasons the Pelicans exist is so that it subjects the kids to have to wear really gaudy colored uniforms and high socks, to try to humble them a little bit, to realize that not everything is glitz and glamor about pro ball.

Now I see Freddie Freeman, the first baseman of the future. I didn't realize just how tall he is, and he's kind of lanky too.

CJ Lee signing for young fans. I actually feel bad because I jumped the gun when I arrived at the park and called out "Jason" to him before seeing a number let alone the back of his jersey. He just lackidasically said "I'm not Jason," before walking back into the dugout. Whoops

Michael Broadway, Lee Hyde, and Michael Mehlich hanging out in RF prior to the game. In the distance is Erik Cordier warming up. Gotta love the mohawk Mehlich is sporting, I wonder what bet he must've lost to have to go that route?

A more panoramic shot of the Beach. All things considered, I really liked Coastal Field. It's easy to get to, the layout of the park is easy to maneuver and not cramped, and it's a nice, spacious minor league park. The Landshark Beach out in LF is cool; I just wish there was no private function going on there during the game, so I could've hung out there for an inning or so.

A shot of the second pitch of the game, as Erik Cordier pitches to Tim Fedroff.

Just my luck that I don't get to see Jason Heyward, but also Cody Johnson was taking the day off too from game play. Instead, here he is, taking first-base coach duties.

Erik Cordier mid-pitch. He gave up only three hits in his four innings, but WALKS KILL led to the only run being scored in the entire game.

One thing that impressed me a lot about Coastal Field was how well-attended the park was. I know Myrtle Beach is a nice tourist destination, so they probably have their share of tourist attendees, and every now and there are season ticket holders, and then some die-hard fans like myself, but it was refreshing to see a nice and full-looking ballpark, even if it is minor league. I asked an attendant if this was the typical turnout, and he looked at me and laughed: "Son, it's because of the beer."

I looked at the two cups of Bud Light I was holding in each of my hands that I purchased for a dollar. It was Thirsty Thursday at the Beach, and all Bud/Bud lights were for a period of time, available for a dollar a cup. I guess it made sense. But oh well, I was enjoying some nice cold beer on a humid summer night, watching the kids play.

That is, until the skies darkened quicker than burning bread in a broken toaster. I knew rain was on the forecast, but the way the day was progressing, I thought at least an official game could have taken place. At the top of the 5th with the Pelicans down 1-0, the skies turned into this. I like the kid in the middle pointing at the sky as if Pujols or Galactus was going to emerge and cast down the fate of the world or something.

And just like that, the game went into a rain delay. Players on both teams quickly left the field, and went into their dugouts.

I have to give credit to the excellent grounds crew at Coastal Field. Play was suspended, the players removed from the field, and the tarp was on and unwrapped over the infield before the first drop of rain even fell from the skies. Just look at the intimidating clouds of Mother Nature here.

The players from the dugout watching the people in the crowd running for shelter. Except for me, who hung out by the dugout the entire time, despite some fat rain drops beginning to pelt me. I didn't particularly mind; I'd come this far, may as well try to enjoy myself and get some interesting pictures.

The rain delay wasn't that bad. I mean, I kind of stood around in the rain like Tim Robbins in the Shawshank Redemption, enjoying how refreshing the rain felt on a hot day, before making my way up into the bleachers where I hung out with these two attractive young girls for a few minutes, chatting about my travels, their choice of beers, where to get awesome park food, etc.

Mark Buerhle does the slip and slide, and gets fined $20,000. A fan at a major league park jumps the fence and does the slip and slide, he gets his ass kicked, thrown in jail, and likely banned from the park for life. At a minor league game? You get your slip and slide, get up, and get escorted without any physical contact off the field. Awesome.

Well, all good things must come to an end. I didn't stay for the entire delay, because it had gone on far longer than I was willing to wait by myself after the two cute chicks bolted, but apparently after 90 total minutes after stoppage, the game was called cancelled due to the rain. Regardless, I enjoyed my experience at the Beach, and if there's ever a reason to go to Myrtle Beach again, I'm all about seeing some more kids play ball.

A day later, I flew from Myrtle Beach (layover in Atlanta), to Northern Virginia where many of my family still live, and a few other activities planned before heading up to Baltimore. I ran in a 5K marathon with some friends on Saturday morning, and after food, and cleaning up, it was up to Baltimore for Interleague, and for the loosely planned TC Meetup. The best part was while I was driving up, the increasing amount of text messages I was receiving from bigjoe and Smoltz's Beard, which seemed to become more frequent with the amount of pre-game drinking they were doing.

Welcome to Baltimore. Some might think, based on my previous strong opinions about this cesspool, that I might have went looking for this kind of picture to help justify my claims, but I swear to Pujols that this just happened to be right in my face, on my way to Camden Yards.

Now as much as I loathe the city of Baltimore, I will say that I admittedly am a fan of Camden Yards. I've never been to the Trop, nor have I gone to old or new Yankee Stadium, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that yes, I think Camden Yards is the best park in the AL East. Fenway might be Fenway, but it's still an old, ratty, rusty tomb with over-priced, everything, from tickets, beer, merchandise, and food. Camden Yards might have less character, but it's certainly cleaner and nicer than Boston. And this place is my favorite part - Pickles Pub, right outside of Camden Yards' CF gates. Cheap food, and even cheaper beer ($1 Miller High Lifes and Rolling Rocks), and it's great place to mingle with fans of O's and away teams as well.

This is me, putting away one of my six pre-game Rolling Rocks and Miller High Lifes. The Failcoeur shirt was a huge hit from fans of both teams, and I must've managed to finagle out three or so more orders of shirts from those who felt that they needed one too.

Pickles is kind of like a tailgate, without being too rednecky. There are many street merchants peddling awesome grilled food for a fraction of ballpark costs, and this is the Italian sausage ($5), slathered in peppers and onions that I heartily consumed to help soak up the mounting beer quantities prior to even entering the park.

When I get tipsy, pictures like these happen. Whatever, who am I kidding, I'm an ass-man, but being a little drunk certainly removed any apprehension at taking pictures of the local talent. I'm sure sdp will enjoy this shot more than anyone else.

I would've stayed at Pickles longer, but nature was calling something fierce, and the seal demanded to be broken. I took a glimpse at the packed house that the inside of Pickles was, and decided that it was probably best if I ditched my friends at the pub, and headed into Camden, where there were sure to be more readily available, let alone cleaner facilities to take care of business. Besides, I suppose it was time to be fashionably late to meet up with my fellow TCers.

It didn't take long to find Smoltz's Beard, because he is the only guy I'd know who would be wearing a collared shirt underneath his Braves t-shirt, and I made sure to point that out to him. I asked "where's Joe," since I knew they were hanging out prior, and then I turned around to the nearest drink stand, and there he was, getting his umpteenth drink of the afternoon.

No, these weren't fellow TCers (I think), but I certainly wish they were. It was beginning to turn into one gigantic sausage-fest out in RF, and something of the fairer-sex would've been nice to have in our ranks. C'mon, who wants to be the token (My Boys) girl to hang out with the boys that we all secretly lust over but won't make a move out of respect for the entire group?

The obvious reason why these gals probably weren't TCers is because when I showed them the FAILCOEUR, the one with the Braves shirt huffly turned heel and got the hell out of dodge, with her Francoeur #7 shirt quickly disappearing from my sight. Haha, I've pissed off my share of women before, but this one was amusing to me. Oops

So yeah, there was a baseball game going on the whole time. Here is your god now Matt Wieters, striking out to Kenshin Kawakami. KK became victim to a typical KK game, where he surrendered early runs before settling down, and despite throwing a bajillion pitches, still did alright. Thankfully the Braves captured the lead while KK was still on record, because KK, might like Javier Vazquez is probably going to lose his (crap) with all the inept efforts at earning wins due to the anemic-at-times offense.

Oh yes, there was a lot of Francoeur heckling. We collectively agreed that we could say nothing until he did something detrimental, and in his first AB, he flew out, and its like the gates of hell disentigrated. Here's a picture of my Myrtle Beach hat with Francoeur in the RF distance, and I was yelling all sorts of esoteric, locals-only kind of knowledge, that I was really hoping he'd hear. I must disclaim (again) that I do not hate Jeff Francoeur the person, but Jeff Francoeur the player, I'm not too fond of. Anything he does positive, is a bonus, but I'm convinced the Braves would be better off without him in the future.

After another inept inning of offense, bigjoe needs a refill, and Beard is right there with him this time around. I had to drive back to Virginia after the game, so I had to cut myself off earlier than they did, which kind of sucked, but I'd rather not get pulled over on I-95 like Sidney Ponson.

Here's a nice shot of the park from my RF perspective. Also keep notice that there ARE MEN ON BASE in this picture, and would prove to be the best inning of Braves baseball for the entire trip.

It was right around this time that our little group was joined by the most interesting character of the entire day (shown above). I think CB hit the nail on the head, and drove it through the plank with how spot-on he was with the description of this guy:

Think of Shipwreck from G.I. Joe mashed with the gay sailor from The Village People, mixed with a leopard. And he says "cocksucker" a lot. The guy was brutal; he's the dude at the party who doesn't get the hint that you don't want to talk to him, even though you walk away every time he comes near you.

Please note the leopard spot tattoos on his left calf. And the Crocs, those gawd-awful crocs. Also notice the way bigjoe is leaning away from this guy. For some reason, he had a particular fondness for bigjoe, and if I remember correctly bought him a beer at one point.

I think he did buy bigjoe a beer, because the look on bigjoe's face here is "shit, this guy bought me a beer now i have to stay here and listen to him ramble on about cocksuckers and dudes switching seats with girls so that he couldn't sit next to their girls." Also notice the leopard trim around the collar of his . . . I can't even describe the 90s skater/punk vest with the lame patches embroidered on it. This guy was golden.

AND HE WOULDN'T LEAVE US ALONE. (Also notice the studden wristband he's wearing) Bigjoe is clearly drunk, and beginning to think he's funny, but CB doesn't look nearly as enthused.

It was around this time that the Braves had the bases loaded on a rattled Rich Hill, and who comes up? Given the circumstances obviously it means Jeff Francoeur. We collectively sighed, fully expecting the rally-killing GIDP, and I took this picture to reflect just how quickly he fell into an 0-2 cound like we haven't seen that before.

And then something amazing happened - Jeff Francoeur crushes a ball out into left-center, which bounces on the ground and pops over the fence - ground rule double, two runs score. By the end of the 4th, the Braves have taken the 4-2 lead, and all of us TCers are going ballistic, and screaming and goading the local fans, who are all throwing their hands up in the air, and groaning in exasperation. A shift supervisor materializes to tell us to stop throwing things over the wall, when nothing went over the wall, but it was clear that she just wanted to come over and sass us for being Braves fans. No matter, it was the single greatest inning of the entire day.

The next three innings were nothing short of awesome. The Braves were holding their lead like champs, and we the TC faithful felt good about our chances of holding off the O's. The best part was watching O's fans like this concede the game, and begin their walk of shame back through the mean streets of Baltimore. Around the 6th, bigjoe mysteriously disappeared, and many of us, tired of standing, went up into the deserted seats high above RF.

With the typically reliable Eric O'Flaherty on the mound in the 7th, things were looking good. O'Flaherty, then I was guessing Acosta and then Soriano/Gonzalez, and we would be a bunch of happy TCers. But then another strange thing happened. O's players were getting hits, and taking first-to-third baserunning on subsequent hits. EOF was hanging pitches, and the O's were capitalizing. What was going on? After EOF gave up his first run, Bobby had no choice to go to the pen, and bring in Peter Moylan. And then what seemed like the longest inning of our lives, Bobby rode Moylan until he got ONE out, but that one out came at the cost of about five or six runs, before Bobby pulled him in favor of Acosta, who was able to get the last out, as well as nail down the 8th, but at that point, it was all best described in the picture above.

CB and bigjoe, in the very real agony of a Braves collapse. Let's face it, we've all seen how we can react via text during open threads whenever the Braves squander a lead or collapse like they did that night, but it's most certainly something else seeing it in person.

Either bigjoe is doing some P90X, or maybe he's had a little too much to drink during the span of the morning, afternoon, and evening. The worst part about the last few innings was the weak heckling that some lame, possibly homosexual O's fans were directing towards our group that wasn't even worth dignifying with response. What was going on on the field was nothing we haven't seen before - the Braves going quietly without any real fight, except for amazingly enough, yet another Jeff Francoeur hit, which brought him to a respectable 3/4 on the night.

I can't decide which picture best describes the aftermath, so I'll let you the viewer decide on your own.

Despite the outcome of the game, I would have to say that it was a fun experience as a whole. Much like last year, a whole lot more people said they'd show, but were nowhere to be seen, so I wasn't the least bit surprised that it was just the five of us. Hey, that's two better than 2008's attempt. Had a blast with these fellow Mom's-basement dwelling losers, regardless. Can't make anyone do anything they don't want to, but I'd love to meet more TCers in the future; we're not so bad in person, and we most certainly don't throw around the numbers like we do at the Chop.

BALTIMORE, Md – Anonymous Talking Choppers express their disdain for the Atlanta Braves, after s...

royhobbs — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 17:59:27 -0000

BALTIMORE, Md – Anonymous Talking Choppers express their disdain for the Atlanta Braves, after suffering through a 7th inning bullpen implosion, which led to the Braves losing to the Orioles, 8-4.

Further sordid stories and/or pictures to appear in coming days when the nagging concept of life calms down a little bit.

Are Escobar and the next generation killing the Braves?

royhobbs — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 13:44:37 -0000

Are Escobar and the next generation killing the Braves?

Sure, most of his statistical backup is batting average, and one of the four mentioned players has already been demoted, but it does get some wheels moving in the recent frustrated claims that Escobar or Johnson might be traded.

Jordan Schafer out for up to two weeks

royhobbs — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 18:52:51 -0000

Jordan Schafer out for up to two weeks

Well, the hand injury finally did him in. "Deep bone bruise" is the official diagnosis. This could be great news, if you take it from the perspective that once this nagging injury heals up, Schafer could back to resembling the player we all loved during ST and the first three games of the season.