Good evening.

Just over 40 days ago, on this site, from this chair, with this keyboard, I testified before God, Man and the Office of Independent Counsel my declaration of insolvency with you in this FanPost (please go and rec it now if you haven't already). I made accusations and indictments, including details about our private life, details no American citizen would ever want to know. Still, I must take complete responsibility for all my actions, both public and private. And that is why I am speaking to you now.

As you know, in the summer of 2008 Dan and I became friends...more than friends. We joined forces, kicked ass and took names.  We put our money where our mouths were.  We took turns shoving the others nose to the grindstone.  We let it all hang out. We literally got down with our bad selves. In short, our love blossomed. 

Then, rather recently I was asked questions about my relationship with Daniel T. Pollitt. While my answers were legally accurate, I did not volunteer information. Of course I was the one asking the questions to myself, so I sensed that I hadn't been completely forthcoming. I was suspicious of myself.  Indeed, I did have a relationship with Daniel T. Pollitt that was, in a word, beautiful. In fact, it was more than that. It constituted such a deep and meaningful connection and resulted in such unexpected personal growth on my part, for which I can only pray he too can share in, that my very soul has been refined and made better for having known him.

But 6 short weeks ago I told BCB a lie, I attempted to hide or destroy evidence and tried to take other unlawful action. I know that my public comments and my silence about this matter gave a false impression. I misled people, including even my wife. I deeply regret that. I can only tell you I was motivated by many factors. First, by a desire to get alot of rec's for my FanPost (please go and rec it now if you haven't already), because that makes me feel important. I was also very concerned about the broken Slurpee machine at the 7-11 down the street from my house. I go there about 3 times a week to get a Coke/Pina-Colada Slurpee after dinner. That doesn't really have anything to do with why I decided to break up with you Dan, but I was worried about how long I was going to have to go without a Slurpee.

In addition, I had real and serious concerns about how terrible this baseball team is this year.  It's had a genuinely negative effect on BCB as a whole, and well...I figured this could be something to get people talking. I didn't expect the reaction i got from some people.  Sue had an independent investigation conducted to dig up "dirt" on me.  This investigation moved from my staff and friends, then into my private life and now the investigation itself is under investigation by an new investigation which ballhawk is leading.

This has gone on too long, cost too much and hurt too many innocent people.

Now, this matter is between me, the two people I love most and all of you on BCB. I must put it right, and I am prepared to do whatever it takes to do so. Nothing is more important to me personally. But it is private, and I intend to reclaim what I set out to destroy. It's nobody's business but ours. It is time to stop the pursuit of personal destruction and the prying into private lives and get on with our BCB life.

Our online community has been distracted by this matter for too long, and I take my responsibility for my part in all of this. That is all I can do.

Now it is time -- in fact, it is past time to move on.

We have important work to do -- real opportunities to seize, real problems to solve, real contracts with NTCs to handout, real season tickets to cancel, and a pretend GM and manager to fire.

And so tonight, I ask you to turn away from the spectacle of the past 40 days, to repair the fabric of our SBNation, and to return our attention to all the challenges and all the promise of the next Cub's Game.

Thank you for reading. And good night.

PS - Dan, hold me.

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the interpersonal bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Harry Potter Books are created equal (dumb and awful), and that they are endowed by their Creator with uninteresting characters, that among these are Hemoine, Ron and Panthro. — That grown men can care so much about any of these stories or movies violates not only  the laws of God and Man, but also MAN LAW. Relationships which are instituted among Men, derive their bonds from the consent of each party, — That whenever any Form of Relationship becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Better Man to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Relationship, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Relationships long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Relationships, and to provide new Homeboys for their future LAN Parties. — Such has been the patient sufferance of this poster; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Bromance. The history of the present Vice Chancellor of Soup Club Daniel T. Pollitt is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over this poster. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused to stop wearing his Gryffindor Scarf to bed, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Girlfriend to go into private chat with me on the Yahoo Chat Rooms, even when it's of immediate and pressing importance, unless the chat is suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass the Gravy, both white and brown.

He has called together Soup Club meetings at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of bathrooms, for the sole purpose of fatiguing me into compliance with his measures.

He has dismissed my objections repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of my side of the bed and he's a cover hog.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to admit that his snoring wakes me up, whereby the sleep deprivation and fatigue render me incapable of beating him at GTA.

He has endeavoured to prevent the spraying of air freshener in certain instances whereby I am forced to engage my gag reflex.

He has obstructed the Administration of the Remote Control by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing fair and proper use.

He has made microwave pizzas in the microwave and left the the little silver "crisping tray" behind in the microwave for future users of the microwave to dispose of. Also he leaves any extra cooking time on the timer and doesn't clear it so the clock shows.

He has erected a multitude of dirty sock piles in the bathroom and banana peels in the kitchen sink, and sent hither swarms of fruit flies to harass me and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Coldplay CDs.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power. (Ok not really, but I like the way this sounded.)

He has combined with others (shoemile) to subject me to a chorus of mockery for watching Hee Haw.

For overreacting when I forget to pay the Netflix bill:

For protecting the instant queue, by giving me a wedgie if I try and add anything from the "Romantic Comedies" category:

For turning off the hot water when I'm trying to shave:

For imposing Coldplay on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Beef Jerky:

For transporting us beyond the allowable range of my ankle monitor:

For taking away our Cheetos.

For wearing MY Mork from Ork suspenders, and declaring himself invested with power to "walk around half naked in front of you mom when she comes over because this is my house too dammit."

He has plundered my stash of Mars Bars, ravaged the Easy Mac, burnt toast in the toaster and never once cleaned out the crumb tray, and destroyed the lives most of my online character in The Sims 3.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized union.

In every stage of these Oppressions I have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: My repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be my brother from another mother.

I must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold him, as I hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

I, therefore, Santoswoodenlegs, in General Flippancy, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of my intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these SBNations, solemnly publish and declare, That this individual poster is, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent, that I am Absolved from all Allegiance to dtpollitt, and that all political, personal, financial and online connection between us, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as a Free and Independent poster, I have full Power to levy Fanposts, conclude Fanshots, contract Alliances, establish joint accounts with Hammer, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent posters may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, I mutually pledge to take back all of the above if the Cubs win 3 games in a row this year.

— Santoswoodenlegs

Why? Because some of us didn't grow up listening to music on AM Radio.

I, hate games with rain and crappy weather,
And I, I hate leav'n bases loaded too...boo hoo
And I don't like small players that are "gritty", no, no
And I, I, I, hate the slow lazy ones too!

And I, hate that I'm Bleeding Cubbie Blue!
...Bleeding Cubbie Blue!

And I, don't like a thing about this roster,
And I, I hate our GM's guts too boo hoo
And I, don't like the way we run the bases, no, no
Cause I, I, I, think lacking hustle is dumb too.

And I, get sick when we ground out, I, can't stand when we strike out,
I, hate that I'm Bleeding Cubbie Blue!
Bleeding Cubbie Blue,
Bleeding Cubbie Blue,
Bleeding Cubbie Blue!

Ledge jumper, Kool-Aid Drinker what are you?
Do you like Quade? Is he a younger bald Lou?
And when you think it's time to throw in the towel,
Prepare to hear how there's still time, TELL'EM AL!

I don't really care about the payrolls
unless we spend $400 million on Pujols!

One thing that I don't mind is Starlin
I don't mind the errors, heck I even like Darwin.
I know, you know, everybody knows!
Hill is gonna start, so get well Soto
You think it's sad, and that's too bad,
Cause I'm havin a ball hatin logging onto Bleeding Cubbie Blue!

Bleeding Cubbie Blue, Bleeding Cubbie...
I, get sick when we ground out...
I, can't stand when we strike out...
I, hate that I'm Bleeding Cubbie... Blue! Haha...

The Original Song...it's still awesome

I know what you're all thinking..."HE CAN'T BE SERIOUS."  Well guess what?  I'm dead serious.  My Hill Hate is well documented.  I was against him getting a new contract with a raise.  I was against him making the team out of ST.  I've pretty much been 100% anti-Koyie Hill.  I'm here to say that I  was WRONG. 

After seeing what kind of offensive batter Carlos Pena has been over the course of the last 20 something games, I've been less than impressed.  The guy isn't just "in a slump", he's in a black hole of suck at the plate. The guy isn't even getting contact on pitches that look hittable.  We're told ad-nauseum that he'll eventually start hitting.  This is known as "method acting".  We're told over and over how all kinds of thing are "going to happen eventually" about this organization.  I had already chalked up 2011 as a tread water season for this club, and I have yet to see anything to change that perception.  In fact, so far in this young baseball season, everything that was supposed to be our strength (pitching) has been our weakness.  So in my opinion, it's time to give Pena a nice long sting on the DL to get whatever injury (mental or physical) is affecting him with the bat taken care of.  What is it really going to hurt?  In that interim period, I call for Mr. Koyie Hill to get the bulk of the starts at first base.  

Hill's presence on the team has been rationalized because of his experience with the pitching staff, they like him, he's like a coach on the bench....playing him at first base gives the team a second "coach" on the field.  Our new pitching coach...whatever his name is, hasn't seemed to be able to do much to keep this staff pitching effectively.  Hill is just a few yards away from the mound at any time during the game.  He's a switch hitter, bat him anywhere...hell...he can't do worse than Pena was doing.  Of course when Pena comes back Hill can take his old spot on the bench back, but for the forseeable future...I want him playing first.

Commence to tear my idea apart now.

Bud Selig considers his options on Manny Ramirez possibly being elected to the All-Star Game.

via i228.photobucket.com

You can almost hear the wheels turning in his head.

Manny getting so many votes for the AS game has forced Commissioner <strike>Senile</strike> Selig to consider what options he has.  I don't see a rational one whereby he could stop Manny from being elected. There are no existing rules against him playing in an All-Star game, and if no rainouts happen between now and  then,  he will have served his 50 game suspension and be back on July 3rd, a full week before the AS game. I can only imagine Bud using the "Best Interests of the Game" card, but that would really look bad. Of couse, looking bad has never stopped Bud Selig from doing <em>anything</em>. Good luck Bud.

 Alright, while I personally think Lou will continue to have a significant career in the Majors, I am concerned about him being the type of manager that gives his favorite players too much leeway. I've stated here before how Lou can make really strange decisions, but I don't think Lou will ever see Theriot as the disaster at SS as some of us do. This may have more to do with Lou's expectations of him at the plate and his above average offense, but his bat will never make up for the terrible mistakes in the field and on the basepaths. (I wouldn't dare say this to Lou's face - so, to whoever is reading this, please don't listen to me because I don't have a "trained eye", do you think Lou has a trained eye?).

 Anyway, having said that, I think that maybe if he is still allowing Theriot to remian at SS after this next start, he needs to have his blood pressue medication changed at the very least and maybe even given shock therapy and have his contract bought out.. I would put Trammell in as manager, who I have much more confidence in knowing what it takes to be a ML SS and I imagine Alan could shake things up and would be a good motivator as well.

 Not at all saying this after four games and is in no way a knee jerk reaction, but even the staunchest Lou fan must admit his propensity to allow relievers to fail over and over and still stick with them while ignoring the same thing on defense with postion player is maddening. Other managers make the adjustments needed on defense and so far what Ive seen from him in the ST and the regular season and today, I don't see any signs of him making an adjustment as his double swithes look just as ridiculous as last year.

 Who would you put in the manager's spot if Lou continues his struggles in the dougout?

by lemon20pie on Apr 7, 2009 2:24 AM PDT 272 comments, 24 new

 Alright, while I personally think Lilly will continue to have a significant career in the Majors, I am concerned about him being the type of pitcher that gives up too many HRs. I've stated here before how Lilly can make women pregnant just by throwing his curveball, but I don't think Lilly will ever get moved out of the 9th spot in the lineup. This may have more to do with Lou's expectations of him at the plate and his unorthodox swing, which doesn't allow him to stay back on anything off speed and away and when he does hit the pitch, it's nothing but a weak groundball to SS (I wouldn't dare say this to Lilly's face - so, to whoever is reading this, please don't listen to me because I don't have a "trained eye", do you think Lou has a trained eye?).

 Anyway, having said that, I think that maybe if he is still struggling after his next start, he needs to be moved down in the rotation at the very least and maybe even put in the bullpen. I would put Heilman in the 3rd starter's spot, who I have much more confidence in to keep the ball in the ballpark and I imagine Lou would too, who could shake things up and would be a good bunter as well.

 Not at all saying this after one game and is in no way a knee jerk reaction, but even the staunchest Lilly fan must admit his struggles in the playoffs recently and it's due to batters making the adjustment to him and so far what Ive seen from him in the WBC, ST and last night, I don't see any signs of him making an adjustment as his gopherballs look exactly the same as last year.

 Who would you put in the 3rd starter's spot if Lilly continues his struggles on the mound?

hy can't we win a ballbame?

Our GM blames a loss on the crowd....

Dempster was a putz, and our defense was crap...

I can't watch one more game like that.



And they boot, boot boot all the ground balls...

Even Lou deserves some of the blame...

Now it's 8,9,10 decades of suck...

Won't they...eeeeease...myyyy paaaain?



Let's punch some nuns!

There, I feel a little better now.

We got winners, we got losers

8th inning chokers and boozers

And we got Hughes, we got Santo

We got Goodman's "Go Cubs, Go!"

And the girls in the bleachers are hot, if you know what I mean

 

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this team

 

We got catchers, we got pitchers

We even got some belly itchers

And we got hustlers, sometimes loafers

A brand new field, so no gophers

And the veterans aren't as old as they may seem

 

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this team

 

[Chorus:]

 

I love this team

They're my kind of guys

I love watchin' them play baseball

Brings a tear right to my eyes

It ain't a dream, the best I've seen

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this team

 

I've seen shortstops, we got highlights

Our Beanballs can start fights 

And we got power, lot's of homers

And "The Wonder Hamster" is a misnomer 

Cause he looks benign but deep down he's really mean

 

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this team

Yes I do

 

I like Big Z (I like Big Z)

I like Rich Harden (I like Rich Harden)

I like Ted Lilly tagging up

to take a catcher out now and then

 

I love this team

They're my kind of guys

I love watchin' them play baseball

Brings a tear right to my eyes

It ain't a dream, the best I've seen

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this team

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this team

 

We got Derrek and a big Wood man

An old manager and real good fans

We got Aramis and he hits big flys

And Dempster is a wise-guy

If you win the game he'll get ya with shaving cream

 

Reason number 672 why

 

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this team

Play it on out boys

Octobers almost here

Got to take it on home

 

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this team

I just love it

 

Al's recap today gave me just enough inspiration to whip this up...call me stupid.

To catch some of you up if you didn't see my first fanpost about this...

My friend from church (Joni) has a 19 year old son (Drew) in the Army who was injured in Iraq several weeks ago when the car in front of his armored vehicle hit an IED.  Drew was manning the .50cal gun on top of the vehicle and was the only one seriously injured.  He suffered massive trauma to the left side of his face, both eye orbits were broken as well as his jaw and upper pallet.

The good news is that Drew has been discharged from the hospital.  He and his father are staying in a hotel near Walter Reed for the next couple of weeks because the ENT still needs to do a couple more procedures and wants to monitor his healing. The bad news is that Drew will most likely never regain the sight in his left eye.  The surgeons have told him that the force of the explosion severed the optic nerve to that eye.  Drew has some lingering trouble with the muscles in his right eye.  The explosion tore the muscles that control eye movement in both of this eyes, his vision in his right eye is pretty good, but he has some trouble keeping the eyelid open and some tracking problems.  The ENT and vision therapist have told him that with therapy and time he should regain most or all of the function in the right eye.

Drew is in good spirits, and his biggest disappointment has been that he cannot rejoin his unit.  Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers for Drew and his family.  I'll keep you posted in case of any other big developments.

I received some good and bad news about a friend's son this week.  He was injured in Iraq by an IED (bad news), but has been flown back to Walter Reed and is doing OK and his injuries will not be life threatening (good news). 

The preliminary information I've recieved from his mom---

Drew was manning the gun on an MRAP vehicle when the vehicle in front of them exploded.  All of his wounds were to the face, not the head, but most of the bones in his face are broken. He may lose some or all of his vision in his left eye and his sinuses are full of shrapnel.  He cannot speak (tubes down his throat), but is communicating with doctors and by touch (squeezing hands).  He has been moved out of ICU and is expected to be released in the next 2 weeks after some surgeries to remove more shrapnel. 

Our Church is praying for Drew and his family...any prayers from you guys would be appreciated. Thanks Everyone.

Cleveland Spiders@ Chicago Cubs

Thursday, Aug 7, 2008, 1:20 PM CDT Wrigley Field

Crazy Schmit vs Bob HowrySunny.

Sunny. Winds blowing out to center field at 10-15 m.p.h. Game Time temperature: Around 85.

The sun is out and shining brightly today, and temperatures are perfect for a day baseball game. Let's enjoy this extra game and have some fun!

Continue reading this post »

Please do not post any comments about Ryan Theriot in this FanPost. This FanPost exists only as a place to conduct a poll about Ryan Theriot. 

For better or for worse...Lou is using him as our everyday SS.  You may use any and all "statistics" you can find to form you opinion of Ryan Theriot.  You may also ignore any and all "statictics" you want in order to form your opinion of Ryan Theriot.  The poll is only your opinion of Ryan Theriot as a baseball player.  Offense and defense are the two sides of the coin you should use in judging him. 

Again, please refrain from posting comments. We have had enough discussion about the pros and cons of Ryan Theriot as a hitter and defender to last until MDBNIU admits he may have made a mistake about Kerry Wood as a closer.