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satyricrash

  • joined Feb 13, 2008
  • last login Jul 28, 2014
  • posts 17
  • comments 34216

While camping in the woods with his friends, he became so annoyed by the repeated sounds of wildlife around him that he shouted "Cool It!" into the woods, silencing every animal in the vicinity. "Let's see Tarzan do that," he mused to himself as he settled into sleep.

A Fan Of...

  • MLB San Francisco Giants
  • Golf Livan Hernandez
User Blog

Hey, I'm probably going to be too busy being busy at game time, so here's a WIN NOW for the home...

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Win-now-041312

Hey, I'm probably going to be too busy being busy at game time, so here's a WIN NOW for the home opener on Friday. Someone post it in the GDT for me, s'il vous plait? Someone good, not some dumb n00b. xoxo SATYRICRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Classical: The Passion of Chris Lincecum

"By Seth Kolloen Tim Lincecum was a month away from becoming the 10th overall pick in the 2006 amateur draft when I started a story about him for a regional lifestyle magazine based in Seattle. The magazine was not in the habit of publishing features about college pitchers, but I had convinced my editor that Lincecum was not only an exceptional college pitcher, but a fascinating story. Tim’s father, Chris, I told her, was a former minor league pitcher and Boeing engineer, who had developed his son’s unorthodox throwing motion according to aerodynamic principles. Although I didn’t know it at the time, this was completely false. But it was still a good story..." MORE
FanPost
25

OT: WIN NOW 2011: GOLDSQUID

Well what do you know, here are all these tremendously popular dumb WIN NOW rally images from this just completed San Francisco Giants base-ball season. There are a whopping SIXTY-FIVE (how is that...

Daisy Barringer: I'LL TRY ANYTHING ONCE - DRESSING LIKE LADY GAGA AT A BASEBALL GAME

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"When this non-famous person showed up to a baseball game in a Giants' jersey, fishnet stockings, and very little else, I didn't expect to be bullied." ...READ MORE... *One of my favorite funny bloggers, Daisy Barringer.

Happy Birthday, Mr Mays! (You read MCC, right??) People don't just write songs for NOBODIES!

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Happy Birthday, Mr Mays! (You read MCC, right??) People don't just write songs for NOBODIES!

Bam-Bam's odyssey is truly out of this world

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Bam-Bam's odyssey is truly out of this world Meulens' journey spans from Curacao to Giants to outer space By Jenifer Langosch 05/04/11 10:00 AM ET [SNIP] With the requisites taken care of, a few final questions were in order for the 43-year-old baseball lifer from Curacao. Asked about what he was most proud in his career, Meulens took his time. His answer was thoughtful. "There are a few things you have to put in line," he began. "Being the first Major Leaguer off our island is at the top of the list. Winning the world championship, obviously, is right there with it. Being an Olympian was huge. Participating in the World Baseball Classic. Those are all firsts." The answer flowed as expected. Until Meulens continued ... "And now, I've been chosen to go to space." Pardon me? "Yes," Meulens said. "I'll go to space, check it out." ENTIRE STORY

"It's time for Major League Baseball to right its wrong!"

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The next Judy St*ffes?? damning excerpt: Officially, 3,000 miles separate San Francisco and Collar City. National League officials and the Giants have attempted to distance themselves further than that from the Collar City. Hey, who can blame them? I wouldn’t want to admit that I illegally moved — some historians say strong armed, others say blatantly stole — America’s Pastime from the home of Uncle Sam Wilson. What’s more un-American than that? [snip] The best the City of Troy can hope for is possibly the San Francisco Giants allowing the World Series trophy to be displayed in the Collar City for a few days. The Record has sent a letter to The Giants and the Major League Baseball Commissioner’s Office asking for such a request. Hey, if Major League Baseball can get artifacts from Texas to Albany International Airport and a subsequent drive to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown 16 hous after the final out, it can certainly send a trophy — which belongs in Troy — to the Collar City to be viewed for a few days.

FanPost
71

OT: WIN NOW: The 2010th Inning

Hey N00BS, I "used to" make these images before "each" game and posted in the GDT (back before you ruined it) called WIN NOW, and the story is too long to go into on how they even started, but it...

With a Bow Tie and a Glove, the No. 1 Giant Relishes His Seat

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"With a Bow Tie and a Glove, the No. 1 Giant Relishes His Seat" NY TIMES profile on Bill Neukom from 07/15/10 My apologies if this has been posted in a pre- or post-game thread, as it is from yesterday. Standard background puff piece. A little bit on the South Bay territory right controversy, Nuekom's involvement in Democratic Party politics, and Microsoft.etc. Here's a fun quote! "The organization did not have a plan after Bonds,"

...And Then He Threw A Battery At Her

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Man Purposely Vomited On Girl At Phils Game PHILADELPHIA (CBS 3) - Police arrested a Cherry Hill man after he was accused of intentionally vomiting on a young girl at the Phillies game Wednesday evening. The young girl's father, trying to give his daughters an unforgettable night at the ballpark, ended up getting a memory he wishes he could forget. [...MORE...]
FanPost
66

American Experience: Win Now

WIN NOW was a series of photographs by acclaimed photographer Alfred Eisenstaedt taken during the 1940s for use in the War effort.  Though the photographs were very popular with the G.I.s in...

I stumbled over this today and it's over a week old and was surprised no one had posted this up to...

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I stumbled over this today and it's over a week old and was surprised no one had posted this up to McC yet, seeing that it's about both the Giants AND food. (Legally, hot dogs are food.)

FanPost
8

Way OT: Google/Gmail Gimpy?

Hey is anyone else having like really slow-to-unusable Google and Gmail the past couple of days? I tried to Google "Slow Google" (!!) but the query just timed out. What's the big idea?

Scott Eyre: Hero

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Upon seeing Selig in the Phillies' clubhouse following the postponement of Game 5 due to rain, a Phillies pitcher looked at him and said: "That fucking guy. I wouldn't let him supervise one of my shits."

Above, the New York Mets and their uniform tribute for their version of Latin Heritage night. Th...

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Capt.b644df352dd04e468e98343c1e04953d.braves_mets_baseball_nyff103

Above, the New York Mets and their uniform tribute for their version of Latin Heritage night. Though it's great that more teams are doing this, I think the Mets could have at least tried instead of just slapping a "Los" on the front. I dunno, I like GIGANTES the best. (Kiss ass.)

FanPost
5

Yard Work Season Preview

Yard Work is a baseball satire site, occasionally dishing out some funny stuff. You know, like when something is technically funny but you don't, like, laugh or anything? Like Oscar Wilde or a...

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