SB Nation User Blog: shenanigans

I think it's time to blow this 'Roy' experiment up.

shenanigans — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:29:18 -0000

It's pretty clear to me that this thing has run its' course. This team has gotten as far as it's going to go with the personnel on the roster. We don't want to have another episode like the 80's where we're in the playoffs every year with no shot to win anything. Blow it up.

We've all discussed how fragile and selfish Roy has been this year and I think we've had just about enough. He does all this whining about how he needs to find a 'comfort zone' to maximize what he gives the team. It's just like what happened last year. What happened then? We won only 54 games before getting effectively swept in our first playoff series in anyone's time with the team.

Not good enough. He's clearly peaked and so have the Blazers.

Don't get me started on the other players on this team. There are players in this league that have better averages than every other player on this team. I think we bring them all over and this team explodes. Charlie Villenueva is averaging more points than LaMarcus is; get him in here. Al Jefferson is averaging more than Oden; get him in here. Kobe is averaging more than Rudy; excuses are what makes for losers. These are the kind of players that will lead us into the future.

The future. FEW...CHUR!

The only guys on this team that are living up to their pay grade are Dante and Bayless. It is clear that if Nate weren't such an inferior coach then these guys would be leading us to the promised land, much like Sergio last year and Jack the year before. We saw what happened to those guys, run out of town by a former point guard jealous of their mad games. Instead we got run off to Europe by an awful Houston team with a slow center and a missing 2 guard. Put these fine fellows in the starting lineup and you are guaranteed an 9 game winning streak.

The team is too old, too set in their ways to change now. Almost all of them can drink legally now; their livers are certainly on a downward spiral. You can tell they are on the downside of their careers because they all keep getting hurt. The Spurs have more longevity than us right now. I think I actually saw Nic chasing a Geritol with an Ensure. Followed by a shot of absinthe. These guys just don't care anymore!!!

It's time. Time to waive the coaching staff, starting five, first three bench players and the usher's dog. Insert B-Rex and Inferno into the starting lineup. Go get juggernauts like Charlie V and Al Jefferson and stop making excuses for not being able to pick up Kobe. While you're at it go open a new checking account. I hear you can get a free bobblehead of a washed up player if you do.

Poll

Which player is the most washed up?

Roy (when does he stop whining, like never!!)

36 votes

Aldridge (Rasheed Wallace he is not)

9 votes

Oden (His IQ is higher than his field goal %, what is that?)

10 votes

Nic (Seriously; Geritol, then Ensure, then absinthe)

15 votes

Rudy (The Spanish Armada is just a dinghy without the strong one)

6 votes

Outlaw (Only old people learn to go left before getting injured)

29 votes

Oh, don't even get me started on ______ (fill in below)!!!

31 votes

136 votes | Poll has closed

Here's something I bought/ made for my buddy's birthday. Kinda proud of it like any good geek...

shenanigans — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 15:26:47 -0000

Here's something I bought/ made for my buddy's birthday. Kinda proud of it like any good geek oughta be.

Just for the record, fanshot interface is no fun.

Section 323. See you Friday. We will probably add some color to these. I think the new L*ker...

shenanigans — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 00:24:38 -0000

Section 323. See you Friday.

We will probably add some color to these. I think the new L*ker colors may be pink and lavender. We'll see.

Holy cow, I caught a T-Shirt!!!

shenanigans — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 16:41:52 -0000

I have long found it amusing watching people that have paid anywhere from 20 to 300+ dollars fight for a 10 dollar shirt like starved alligators over a scrap of steak. Today, I find it even more amusing.

It was the middle of the 4th quarter when the stunt team came out with all their fancy shirt-chucking equipment. My daughter and I were sitting in section 323. Were I by myself I wouldn't even bother standing for the thing, but my daughter was with me so I had her stand up with her sign and we joined together in our version of the 'chuck it here' dance. As the 3 guys with the super sling-shot set up to bloody some poor sap's nose with a t-shirt I thought, "They're gonna shoot that right at us." Then they released it. At first I thought that it was going slightly to my right, but as it soared over the 200 level seats it started to curve back around my direction and right at my face.

I have long had a minor phobia that I would be at a sporting event with an item coming right for me and I would choke. I would fumble it away, or run down a small child, or maybe just let it leave an imprint on my face. It felt like it was in the air for about a minute and a half, but when it reached my hands, I held onto it like Jerry Rice in the endzone (you know... without the defense, or it really being all that hard as it turned out). I turned to my daughter to try to hand it to her; she had a big smile on her face, but wasn't ready to take it as she was still fumbling with her sign. I held onto it and started to dig in to see what kind of merch it really was.

I have no illusions about where these t-shirts come from. I know that they are sent out to give advertisers a reason to give the Blazers money. I just always thought that there would be some Blazer related item on the free stuff.

Nope.

via i342.photobucket.com

Just a Subway t-shirt. As my buddy at the game said, "Just goes to show you, no matter how low your expectations are, you can still be disappointed."

Still, I got an amusing story out of the deal, so you can't beat that. :)

Is Sergio an enforcer?

shenanigans — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 02:54:09 -0000

I was at the PTB/GSW game last night and I swear that I saw Sergio take down Corey Maggette in the first half. I think I have a vague recollection of Sergio taking down someone else in the past. There was no replay so I wasn't able to verify that I saw it right. Anyone else recall this occurance? Is Sergio a tough guy? A dirty player? Or did I simply misinterpret the whole exchange?

Please enlighten me.

Poll

Who is Sergio Rodriguez?

The Baddest Man Since Leeroy Brown

17 votes

The Baddest Man Since Leeroy Jenkins

14 votes

He is who we thought he was!!! (Mild mannered guard)

21 votes

Just some dude that gets caught in collisions.

25 votes

Trade bait

24 votes

A drinking game waiting to happen.

14 votes

115 votes | Poll has closed

Chill, we're 9-6. Scratch that; we're 10-6.

shenanigans — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 01:02:52 -0000

So, last nights win was about the ugliest thing since since Medusa. Not to mention that we have had many lousy performances against bad teams. I mean really bad performances that make you wonder if the Blazers might get themselves back into the lottery.

But it was a win, and we're 9-6.

And LaMarcus has been shooting like a one armed rifleman for the better part of the season. He looks like a kid in a Toys'r'us that just realized that he's lost his parents with the ball in his hands lately. Is he a bust now?

His D is still solid, and we're still 9-6.

Plus GO has shown flashes of Shaq, Robinson, Mark Eaton, and Manute Bol- sometimes all in the same game. I mean I've never seen a guy look so dominant and lost at the same time. I don't know if he is ever going to get it together.

But somehow the team keeps scrapping out wins, and we're 9-6.

I'm really uncomfortable with the inconsistency in our offense and our reliance on guys that aren't always able to produce. I'm sure that there is somebody in the league we can get RIGHT NOW that can ease our reliance on these guys. Rudy's been shooting terribly lately. Outlaw, ohmygoodnessdon'tgetmestartedonOutlaw. Even the aforementioned Aldridge is struggling in ways we've never seen before.

Yeah but we have 3 Rookies getting serious time, none of whom have played more than about 3 games a week at any given time, an injured starting small forward, and a team that - for the first time - is getting a good effort from every team on almost every night. We also have played 9 of 15 games on the road, all of our losses have come on the road against good teams (except Golden State) and we've stolen some from good teams on the road.

And we're still 9-6. With all that room for improvement. I think we're OK.

So, chill and enjoy the ride. I know I will.

The life of an EC

shenanigans — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:40:35 -0000

Rebuilding GM: BRING OUT YER DEAD! BRING OUT YER DEAD!

KP: Here's one.

GM: That'll be 9 pents.

Raef LaFrentz: I'm not dead!

GM: What's that?

KP: Nothing, here's your 9 pents.

RL: I'M NOT DEAD!!

GM: Hey, he says he's not dead.

KP: Yes, he is.

RL: NO, I'M NOT!!

GM: He isn't!

KP: Well he will be soon, his contracts almost up.

RL: I'M GETTING BETTER!

KP(To Raef) : No your not, your game'll be stone dead in a moment.

GM: I can't take 'im like that, it's against regulations.

RL: I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE REBUILDING TEAM!!

KP: Oh, don't be such a baby.

GM: I can't take him.

RL: I feel fine.

KP (To GM): Well, do us a favor.

GM: I can't.

KP: Well, can you hang around a minute, he won't be long.

GM: Nah, I've got to swing by the Pacers, they've lost 9 today.

KP: Well when's your next run?

GM: Thursday.

RL: I THINK I'LL GO POST UP!!

KP (To Raef): Your not fooling anyone you know. (To GM) Look, isn't there something you can do?

RL: I FEEL HAPPY, I FEEL HAPPY, I FEEL HAPPY.........

(THWAP!!!)

KP: Thanks a lot.

GM: That's my job, see you Thursday then.

KP: Right, right.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grbSQ6O6kbs

Unfortunately, this probably would have been more appropriate to post during the Daruis saga, but the timing of how I use other peoples humor has never been as good as I'd like.

Ducks #2 BABYYYYYYYY

shenanigans — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 23:34:26 -0000

In case you weren't watching, the Buckeyes won't be the #1 team in the nation next week, which means the Ducks ought to move right on up to two. (fingers crossed) National championship path cleared. Now take care of business boys!!!!!!!!!!!

Mejia Praises Pritchard

shenanigans — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 05:29:15 -0000

Here's a story!

http://cbs.sportsline.com/nba/story/10406427

"Kevin Pritchard should be the league's top executive this season, even though the odds are now probably good that he won't be. Top draft pick Greg Oden won't play this season, and, because Danny Ainge secured his job by landing Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, he'll probably get the award for reviving the Celtics. That being said, the job Pritchard has done attempting to turn the Portland Trail Blazers around has been remarkable."

Mejia goes on to explain what all of us already know. What was really bad, now is really good.

Odens dogs name is McLovin

shenanigans — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 19:39:12 -0000

Oden posted on his blog again that he has a new dog and the name is Charles Barkley McLovin. Sweet.

http://www.yardbarker.com/gregoden

If I were to pose a 300 minimum limit question I suppose it would be about what is the coolest, or dumbest thing you have bought that had Blazers all over it. Mine is that I am thinking of commissioning a bass guitar in the shape of the Blazers logo.