soco
Feb 14, 2008 Nov 10, 2009 67 16943
Born on the side of a volcano in 1927, soco was considered a savant from the start. Although both parents were killed less than a week later in a freak tiger wrestling accident, soco would go on to lead a relatively normal childhood in the care of his grandparents at the Humdinger Academy of Arts and Sciences, where he excelled not only in classes of judo, theoretical physics and 17th century French literature, but also became the captain of the full-contact chess team.
Upon completion of his education in 1945, soco rejected a post at the Department of Defense, instead dedicating the next few years of his life exploring the hidden glaciers of the Amazon, which were later recounted in his bestselling and Pulitzer Prize winning memoir, "Slow Ice, Warm Hearts." Sometime during this time of exploration and self-evaluation, soco stumbled upon technology the world was not yet ready to face, and was locked in stasis for the next sixty years.
After emerging from the mixolydian plane, as it would be named in soco's groundbreaking and Nobel Prize winning research later in 2006, he spent a year vacationing and meditating with monks high up in Taihang Mountains.
In 2008 soco befriended a semi-smart bear and walked the North American continent, planting banana trees and becoming folk legends. If one listens carefully in any small town in Canada, the US, Mexico, or any of the small pockets in between, the "Ballad of soco and Bear, a Song in 5 Cantos" can be heard. The "Ballad" recounts how the duo successfully fought off a hungry swarm of trilobites newly reanimated by the evil Dr. Dooreleeno, as well as teaching the small town of Cuauhtémoc how to love again, amongst other heroic deeds. The "Ballad of soco and Bear, a Song in 5 Cantos" is due to be made into a Hollywood movie, set to be released summer of 2010.
Though soco's life can't be summed up in a short bio, he's always willing to share stories about fighting hyper intelligent aardvarks or research on the indigenous giant slugs of Madagascar.
Any interest in more details of soco's life can be directed to the Soco Occupational College of Obdurancy, or the Soco Institute. Both are leading educators and researchers of xenoarcheology, cat psychology, awesomeness, and fresh beats.
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