From the diaries. Joey's musing over at Straight Bangin' is a great example of how beautiful writing meshing sports and life has made clowns like Bill Simmons of the world increasingly irrelevant (at least for me). This is a classic must read post about Coach Wooden from a gracious Wolverine who is an honorary Bruin on BN. GO BRUINS. -N

NB: This diary entry can also be found at Straight Bangin', a website for hip-hop fans who like to hold Lloyd Carr accountable for his failures and freak out about the George Allens of the world. Please also note that the author of Straight Bangin' recommends spending as much time as possible on Bruins Nation. Oh, and beat USC in football again. Please. Michigan fans beg you.

My entire family is from the New York area, and most of it still lives in and around the City today. My parents' idea of a good time is traveling to freezing cold, remote destinations; a large majority of my family hates to fly; and before I went to Michigan, no one from my household had spent much time in the Midwest, or, really, any place else, save for Cape Cod. When put in one of many other ways: I have absolutely no connection to the University of California, Los Angeles. I haven't even been to California, and from what I can tell, all anyone in LA does is drive around, complain about traffic, talk on the phone, and get tan.

Despite this East Coast bias-driven lifestyle, I can't remember a time when I didn't love John Wooden, a man who's synonymous with UCLA. And this is simultaneously surprising and to be expected. Ostensibly, there is no reason why I should care about an old white man whom was most relevant before I was born, coached a team I don't care about, and I will never meet. But I'm also the same person who first heard the word "bullshit" because the Madison Square Garden crowd was raining it down upon Charles Barkley and the 76ers; the same person whose father calls him at work to administer quizzes such as naming the starting five from the UMass team that went to the Final Four with Marcus Camby; and the same person whose 8th-grade teacher was confounded by my compulsive need to recite basketball scores during morning meetings in class each day. Basketball has always been a conduit for so many facets of my life, so of course I love John Wooden. He's a mythic figure of the sport.

His appeal is understandable, overall, but somewhat more complicated for me. Famous for his Pyramid of Success, myriad maxims meant to impart lasting truths, and nurturing soul as much as for his ten NCAA titles in twelve years, Wooden is the ultimate basketball father figure. Regimented, thoughtful, observant, principled, and caring, Wooden offered a benign but serious discipline that has become legendary given the lasting impact he made on his players. It's the sort of role many men envision playing in the lives of their children, and it's no coincidence that Wooden is a venerated constellation in my father's sky, much as my father is one in my own. The wisdom imparted in reminders such as "be quick but don't hurry" and "failing to prepare is preparing to fail" is very much in the style of the knowledge that my dad has handed out over the years, with aphorisms aplenty. And that Wooden's conductive medium for morality and teaching was the same as one of my father's--I can't tell you how many memories of my time with him will forever include warm remembrances of basketball--only has strengthened the bond that both my dad and I have been able to project onto a basketball deity. We have never known John Wooden, but yet we both feel, on some level, that he has always spoken to and for us.

I understand that it's quite weird to experience such warmth for a remote figure, and it would be nearly disingenuous were there not substantial reasons behind it. But my genuine esteem for Wooden was reinforced last night as I watched HBO's documentary about Wooden's UCLA dynasty of 1964-1975. Though only an hour and general to the point of neglect at times, the movie is an engrossing synopsis of not just Wooden and his teams, but also of the larger social, political, and moral contexts that surrounded what everyone saw on the court. The common denominator among all of the players interviewed is their dedication to the basketball program's patriarch, and hearing such authentic love manifested in various ways only enhances Wooden. A formative experience in my literary career was reading a Kareem Abdul-Jabbar autobiography, so it was even more rewarding to hear from the players discussed in the book, many of whom have grown into quasi-legends thanks to the input of my father, a basketball romantic.

That a 25-year-old sees so much of his own father in a man he's never met, and accordingly reveres the stranger, is likely one of the most bizarre but compelling pieces of evidence one might find when attempting to demonstrate just how important John Wooden has been not just to basketball, but to society. For some of the more basic elements, I'd suggest checking out HBO's documentary.

Here is a suggestion: Go to London. That's what I did last week, and it was phenomenal--the sights, the beer, the odd spectacle of Americans running around a British grocery store trying to make Thanksgiving dinner. I recommend it highly.

It's also a nice remedy for the now annual post-OSU-loss hangover. Never has a Michigan football game left me so ambivalent, so let's take a walk...

I think the obvious takeaway from last weekend was that despite all of the rationalizations offered by the cockeyed optimists who populate the interwebs and represent themselves to be the true Michigan fans, there is no three-star substitute for five-star talent: Michigan's defensive-back recruiting failures were sadly on display against the Buckeyes. The Wolverines simply do not have the roster required to defend a well-run spread like the one that they've refined in Columbus. Justin King, Victor Harris, Taylor Mays, Jai Eugene, Myron Rolle, Antwine Perez, Nic Harris, A.J. Wallace, Darrin Walls--that's a lot of speed and ability that Michigan has recruited and failed to land in recent years. And when that happens, you're left with consolation prizes like Johnny Sears and Charles Stewart and Brandon Harrison and Morgan Trent defending wide receivers who are better at getting open than the DB's are at covering.

I thought that was the key difference in the game--Michigan's personnel didn't allow it to play the way that it needed to. Troy Smith was getting hit, and in the second half, the blitzes were limiting his time, but Smith wasn't sacked much and he always had options open because Michigan was covering receivers with linebackers and slow safeties or giving OSU wide receivers ten-yard cushions for fear of getting beaten deep. If Michigan has defensive backs who can run and cover better--even for literally two more seconds--then maybe Smith has less time, gets sacked more, and the OSU offense is forced to keep more blockers along the line.

Next year, when QBs are evading pressure in the backfield, screens aren't getting blown up as well, and running backs are getting to the second level more often, we'll see the ugly result of bad recruiting again, as the inadequate linebackers will be on full display. I hope you all savored David Harris and the healthy Prescott Burgess, because Chris Graham missing 75% of his tackles, John Thompson defending the pass, and everyone else (save for pass rusher Shawn Crable) looking inexperienced is not going to be all that pretty. I mean, what have you seen from Brandon Logan? What are you expecting from Cobrani Mixon and Quentin Patilla? Will the LBs ruin the team? Maybe/probably not, but when it faces an opponent like OSU--one with talent than can exploit a weakness and smart coaches who know what they're doing--you're going to wonder why Michigan didn't offer a scholarship to someone like Brian Cushing much earlier.

Also key was that Michigan played its worst defensive game of the year. Jim Tressel, his staff, and the OSU criminals deserve credit for their preparation and execution--they were better, and they were smart to spread out Michigan. But they didn't make Michigan miss tackles in the backfield; they didn't make Ryan Mundy run into Jamar Adams; they didn't make Shawn Crable go helmet to helmet on Troy Smith. (And for the record, Ryan Mundy has yet to play one good game at Michigan. Just an FYI.) Michigan's defense was not its usual self, in part thanks to the OSU scheme, but also in part thanks to unfortunate personnel, in part thanks to delayed adjustments, and in part thanks to generally poor play.

All of that said, Michigan only lost by three and was moving the ball well. As uncomfortable as I am with Mike DeBord's general football philosophy, and as disappointing as it is that watching a number of other teams makes it clear how absent creativity is on the Michigan coaching offensive staff, I must concede that in the year's big games, DeBord's schemes have worked well. Against OSU, the commitment to the pass on the opening drive meant that there was room to run, and Michigan did well enough to score five touchdowns and a field goal. Chad Henne has emerged as a quarterback in whom you can place your trust in a big game, and Mike Hart was getting 6 yards every time he touched the ball. Manningham and Arrington were both close to 100 yards receiving, and the ball was spread around nicely.

Unfortunately, some bad coaching, as always, hurt the Michigan offense in a game that was not at all about defense. For years, Michigan has been a bad short yardage team. Even against the Ball States of the world, Michigan fails to reliably convert on third-and-two or third-and-one. FOR YEARS. I don't know if it's strength training, technique, or emotion, but something is absent in this program if it can always spew rhetoric about commitment to the run and toughness and then come back, year after year, and regularly fail in the ground game or get the tough yards.

Against OSU, it was more of the same. Not only did Michigan fail to convert several important third downs when only a few yards or less was needed, but the inability led to bad play calling. At least twice on fourth-and-short near midfield, Michigan elected to punt rather than go for it. If that isn't an admission of your running game's shortcomings, and an error in coaching, I don't know what is: you can't stop the other team and only stand to net about 25 yards, and you're still going to punt? Pathetic. Nothing was worse, of course, then the third-and-one when Michigan tried to go deep to Manningham only to come back and...punt. I loved the impulse to take a shot deep, but at midfield with a yard to go, you gotta take two chances to fall forward once. Then go deep.

I don't want to pile on Lloyd or the play calling too much, though, because while those factors influenced the game's outcome, so too did the excellent of Troy Smith and the absence of the Michigan defense.

And so, really, I'd like to be madder than I am. Two years ago, I thought that Michigan quit in Columbus, and that was one of the most inexcusable performances I've ever seen, a horrible indictment of Lloyd Carr. Last year, I thought that the effects of conservative play calling and the cronyism that allowed Jim Herrmann to retain his job for so long were on display, and such obvious and avoidable misery was galling to the point that I actively hoped that Carr would be fired. This year? I am deeply saddened by the lost opportunity and another defeat at the hands of the Buckeyes, but I also don't think the coaching held the players back, that wholly poor execution doomed the team, or that the lesser team won. The majesty of this incarnation of The Game, the obvious superiority of the OSU coaches and Troy Smith, and the strong effort in defeat from Michigan all made this game somehow more tolerable.

Sadly, I think Michigan must admit that: 1) Tressel owns Carr; 2) OSU was better. If Henne doesn't overthrow Manningham, if OSU doesn't get two touchdown runs of over 50 yards, if Crable doesn't hit Smith--lots of things could have been different and altered the outcome. But let's not forget that Smith overthrew open receivers, that Adrian Arrington broke tackles, and that OSU gave away the ball twice for no reason. The breaks tend to even out, leaving you with a winner and a loser. And as has become the regular case, Carr and Michigan again lost to a team that maximizes its talent and always forces Michigan to adjust to what it's dictating.

OSU is likely going to play USC in January for the national title, and in some ways, that's fitting, because those are the two best programs in the sport right now. And that, more than a single game loss, is what really is troublesome.

I was proud of the Wolverines last weekend. I only wish that they had been better. Michigan must find a way.

Work ran a train on me this week, and thus, my blogging was again a little teh horrible. Sorry.

Anyway...It is finally here. Today is the kind of day that you spend a lifetime of love waiting for. Your love of Michigan; your love of Michigan football; your love of college football--today is what that is all about.

Al Pacino knows:

So now: Are you ready? I am. It's gonna be a great day.

Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue! Let's. Go. Blue!

Now that it's Ohio State week, Schembechler Hall feels that it is only right that we all attempt to better understand the psyche of the aliens in our midst: Buckeyes. All week, I will endeavor to help you, the public, understand what kind of sick, twisted, socially malignant people we are dealing with. Though behaviors such as hurling urine at strangers, cheering for the successful spelling of a simple word like "Ohio," glorifying the sousaphone, and getting paid by boosters to attend classes like Don't Get AIDS will never be relatable or palatable to actual humans, it is my hope that by Saturday, we all will have a better understanding of why these troglodytes act as they do.

In part two of this series, we examine Buckeye fan behavior...

One of the best ways to tell a Buckeye is through the behavior displayed when attempting to support the team. Thanks to the fact that Ohio is one collective pit and most Buckeyes live in underground caves, only surfacing for football games and court dates, your typical Ohio State Joke of a University supporter has not developed everyday life skills. This results in unfortunate choices like championing the sweater vest:

It also leads a typical fan to unfortunate indulgences of "creativity," such as this high-school-level editing project set to music that can only be described as bad. Were the creators of this video not so certain that they were being funny, this would seem much less lame:

Your typical Ohio schools are vocational in focus, emphasizing abilities like running from the police, saying "not guilty" and "this is the first time I've heard of it," and developing methods to launder booster money. This leaves many Buckeyes without an outlet for the limited literacy skills that they develop later in life, and like all cute children who pick up something new, they're eager to show off the range of their low-level ability.

This odd mix of absent social mores and deficient competencies can often result in unfortunate choices, such as urinating in places where they walk and fall down:

Now that it's Ohio State week, Schembechler Hall feels that it is only right that we all attempt to better understand the psyche of the aliens in our midst: Buckeyes. All week, I will endeavor to help you, the public, understand what kind of sick, twisted, socially malignant people we are dealing with. Though behaviors such as hurling urine at strangers, cheering for the successful spelling of a simple word like "Ohio," glorifying the sousaphone, and getting paid by boosters to attend classes like Don't Get AIDS will never be relatable or palatable to actual humans, it is my hope that by Saturday, we all will have a better understanding of why these troglodytes act as they do.

In part one of of this series, we will take it slow, first getting a sense of whom and what we're dealing with...

When pathetic Buckeyes aren't busy masturbating in the library...

...they're instead busy runing things like music and creativity. What follows is just pathetic, and among other things, it should lead us to question how the penal system in Ohio is being administered--how can all of these mentally challenged convicts have this kind of free time?

So while I was on hiatus, Michigan, like, played some football and stuff. A quick rundown:

Penn State: Every season, my friends and I choose one away game to attend, and this year, State College was our destination of choice. Here's what you need to know about State College, PA: it's in the middle of nowhere; it's really, really white, save for the mandatory smattering of Asians who matriculate at centers of higher learning throughout the United States; it's filled with mostly nice, completely paranoid college-football fans who either don't read and watch television much or just don't know how to assess football teams (you wouldn't believe how many fans insisted that a Nittany Lion win over Michigan would have sewn up a BCS berth); it seems to be a town long afflicted by identity theft, what with the constant need to remind everyone that "[Th]e[y] Are...Penn State," as though anyone cares or thinks that the cheer is good (it's not--it's basically the worst one in all of sports); and it is a place of moderate fun, far better than the affront to college towns known as "South Bend," but far worse than Madison, WI and even Eugene, OR.

As for the game, the big fear going in was that in the absence of Mario Manningham, the Michigan offense would become a boring, predictable, relatively inert one-dimensional abortion of football. It sort of looked that way early on as the teams traded punts, but Michigan emerged as a methodical unit that, thanks to a defense that killed two quarterbacks and completely neutered an already only semi-potent offense, was strangely effective despite the modest scoring effort. In typical Lloyd Carr fashion, a failure to get some first downs and a late Penn State TD led to some end-game anxiety, but PSU wasn't going the length of the field with a third-string QB against the UM defense.

Iowa: More of that Mike DeBord football vs. seemingly inferior opponents: run into stacked fronts, especially on first down; throw as though someone put a gun to your head and forced you to do so; avoid stretching the field because it would make it easier to run and because the only guy on your team who really can is hurt; and let the defense continue to be a god-body unit. The major melodrama of the week was the legal limbo of Adrian Arrington, as it was speculated that he might be held out--with Mario already a no-go, OMG!--due to an outstanding violation stemming from a domestic dispute. As it turned out, Adrian played, caught a bunch of balls, and may or may not have done something bad. He hasn't started, but has played significant snaps, for the past two weeks, so who knows?

Also notable was that the UM game appeared to be the functional end of the Iowa season, as the Hawkeyes defense looked fantastic in defeat...and the team then fell apart, losing to Northwestern (!) and Wisconsin at home. Not Kirk Ferentz's best work, but hardly a full repudiation of his reputation for great coaching. You go win 30 games in three years in Iowa City.

Northwestern: Just an ugly game, thanks to some mounting, nagging injuries; some execution errors; the Mike DeBord Make Our Fans Hate Us offense; and, oh by the way, the mid-Fall Midwest version of a monsoon--swirling winds, chilling rain falling sideways, and weather too warm for snow but just cold enough for everyone to be miserable. The offense looked as though it had regressed, but the defense was, again, fantastic. Surprise, surprise.

Ball State: A few years ago, this was going to be a bye week. But then the NCAA moved to a full-time 12-game schedule, major teams scrambled to find patsy opponents for one more home game, and Michigan wound up playing a MAC team during Week 10 of the season. They also treated it as a bye, anyway, playing the second-string defense for large swaths of the second half once going up 31-12. Mario Manningham was back, however Michigan stuck to the ground, mauling Ball State for more than 300 yards, with Mike Hart and Brandon Minor going over 100 yards. A lack of focus coupled with a lack of experience left the second-team defense vulnerable to a come back, and thus Ball State made it a close game, falling 34-26 thanks to Charles Stewart and Johhny Sears each surrendering long touchdowns before the real defense came back in for a somewhat enthused goal-line stand that kept Ball State from really threatening.

What it all meant:

• The big item is the offense. If you view this Michigan football season as a cohesive narrative whose conclusion will ultimately and directly draw upon what has and has not been seen so far, you have to be heartened by the Michigan offense that was "on display" during the middle month of the season. Just as it did against Central Michigan and Vanderbilt in the opening weeks of the year, Michigan did exactly what was required to beat its opponents, establishing the run--always its top priority--and little else, thereby "saving" wrinkles and special plays for an opponent like OSU. Personally, I find this method of offense to be abhorrent: it allows lesser teams to stay in games, it provides little margin for execution error, and it fails to fully seize upon advantages that might come with a superior level of talent. A DeBord proponent might point out that his system perfectly complements a dominant defense, but I'd point out that: a) to presuppose a stalwart defensive effort in every game is how UM has lost far too many games in the past; b) asking the defense to routinely rise up is a heavy burden, week after week; c) a team wastes chances to improve upon trouble areas and develop depth when it aims to just get by.
• Against Indiana, Michigan showed more formations and threw more on first down than it had in the preceding month, a welcomed divergence from the usual stretch-play left.
• Kevin Grady should either become a fullback or, like, get better. In recent weeks, he's looked like no better than the fourth-best RB (relative to Hart, Jackson, and Minor), and now almost halfway through his collegiate career, he can fairly be labeled as a disappointment. Reputed to be a powerful runner with nimble feet and good vision, Grady has shown little of any of those attributes as he runs into the line and regularly fumbles.
• If there is a better linebacker in the country than David Harris, I haven't seen him. Harris reads plays so well that he is regularly blowing up a run or snuffing out a screen; he's a sure tackler; and he has led by example so well this year.
• If Carson Butler could a) catch, b) not fumble, and c) not get called for a penalty at least once a game, he'd be the next Antonio Gates. He really runs well and has a way of getting open.

An obvious problem that arose in the vaccuum left by my delinquency was the fall off of my public ballot disclosure. I write "public" because I mostly kept voting, although I sadly missed this week. Here's what the past three ballots have looked like:

Week of 10.23:

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Ohio State	25
2	Southern Cal	24
3	Michigan	23
4	West Virginia	22
5	Louisville	21
6	California	20
7	Texas	19
8	Clemson	18
9	Arkansas	17
10	Auburn	16
11	Florida	15
12	Tennessee	14
13	Wisconsin	13
14	Notre Dame	12
15	Boston College	11
16	Rutgers	10
17	LSU	9
18	Georgia Tech	8
19	Nebraska	7
20	Oklahoma	6
21	Boise State	5
22	Oregon	4
23	Wake Forest	3
24	Texas A&M	2
25	Missouri	1

Week of 10.30:

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Ohio State	--
2	Michigan	1
3	West Virginia	1
4	California	2
5	Arkansas	4
6	Auburn	4
7	Florida	4
8	Tennessee	4
9	Southern Cal	7
10	Texas	3
11	Louisville	6
12	Wisconsin	1
13	Rutgers	3
14	Boston College	1
15	Clemson	7
16	Notre Dame	2
17	LSU	--
18	Oklahoma	2
19	Boise State	2
20	Georgia Tech	2
21	Texas A&M	3
22	Washington State	4
23	Oregon	1
24	Wake Forest	1
25	Virginia Tech	1

Week of 11.06:

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Ohio State	25
2	Michigan	24
3	Texas	23
4	California	22
5	Arkansas	21
6	Auburn	20
7	Florida	19
8	Louisville	18
9	Southern Cal	17
10	Wisconsin	16
11	Rutgers	15
12	LSU	14
13	Tennessee	13
14	West Virginia	12
15	Boise State	11
16	Notre Dame	10
17	Oklahoma	9
18	Wake Forest	8
19	Boston College	7
20	Georgia Tech	6
21	Oregon	5
22	Oregon State	4
23	Brigham Young	3
24	Virginia Tech	2
25	Maryland	1

As you can see, the deltas are all effed up, so I apologize. I guess the biggest things to note:

• The most recent ballot reflects games through last Saturday, so for these purposes, Louisville was still undefeated.
  
• Texas made a big jump mostly because Colt McCoy is playing out of his mind; I am not sure if the SEC teams are that good or if they are just beating each other up; and no one else seems like an obvious choice for the top five, save for Cal, which remains there.
  
• Notre Dame has stayed in the same area for weeks because it plays no one and has lost to the only discernably good team it's played.
  
• I have been tempted to drop Michigan a number of times given how badly the offense has played in recent weeks, but I see no other team with a resume that argues for its ascendancy.

Oh, man. This is hard.

I'm sorry.

I'm really, really, really sorry.

I'm sorry for a lot: for not updating this site; for letting a vital stretch of the season go by; for letting you down. It sucks, it was shitty of me, and I'm sorry.

Where was I? Well, sort of everywhere. Since Memorial Day, it seems as though I can't ever go more than a week or two without taking a trip somewhere. And please don't read that as a complaint--traveling, like pimping, ain't easy but it sure is fun. This fall, the hectic schedule has taken me to Washington, to State College, to Ann Arbor, and to points in between. And when I am not traveling, I am hosting guests or working. And the problem with all of this is that when it comes up, it forces me to postpone so many other things--reading, laundry, socializing (er, other socializing), watching NBA League Pass, returning friends' phone calls--that blogging can be tough. Especially during the week, when my job has me working long hours and my schedule has me running around New York to dinners, movies, concerts, and whatever else we do here.

If blogging is so tough, why is Straight Bangin' relatively up to date? Another good question. SB is sort of like the internets equivalent of my childhood home--no matter what happens or where I go, it's always there for me. And that's an easy feeling. Updating SB still takes a lot of time, but it also has built-in advantages that, sadly, the Schembech can't match. On SB, I can churn out posts about the hip-hop I've been listening to all day on the subway and at work; I can post political screeds that I summon after spending time reading all manner of things; I can post self-indulgent, idiosyncratic lunacy, like why I hate open-toed shoes."

But this site is different. Here, I think I'm a little more self-conscious because I want to honor the mission of examining Michigan sports, I want to attempt to be fair in my treatment of the facts, and I want to provide content that is worthy of the BlogPoll. I may fail in all those endeavors, but they weigh on my mind when I sit down to compose something here. And accordingly, when I miss an update, or an event, or a game, the pressure to respond with something that not only compensates for the missed opportunity but also surpasses the quality of what it would have been can be discouraging. It can drive me away from the Schembech.

And that's what happened here. I got busy, I got careless, and it became harder and harder to come back. I'd walk down the block thinking about Alan Branch, but I'd be anxious about posting because I would have to own up to the guilt born of delinquency. I'd nervously watch Michigan hang on against Ball State and not even my alarm and frustration could conquer the fear of returning. This all must sound incredibly foolish and lame, but it's why we've gotten to this point.

But ultimately, as a real human being (and one who does this as a hobby), I realized that running from the problem--from the shame--was just making an eventual resumption that much harder to initiate. So I am here. Officially back. Sort of.

Two days ago, I promised a content explosion. Something I couldn't deliver upon thanks to work, a place where I stayed until very late. Well, that happened again yesterday, and the content explosion was delayed. Again. Until tonight/tomorrow. But we now have a plan. Below, please find a posting schedule to be followed in the immediate future that will help Schembechler get caught up and get right. It will be honored. That's my word.

Now please take me back. The kids have missed me. And deep down, I bet that you have to.

Again, I'm sorry. Coming soon to a Schembech near you:

• Friday: Ballot Returns: A blog ballot expose
• Saturday: The OMG Game Before THE GAME Indiana open-thread; Everyday Should Be Latter Day: The Last Michigan Month in Review
• Sunday: What We Talkin' About? Football?!: A Treatise on the State of the Game
• Monday: It's Great...to Be...a Michigan Wolverine: A Football Recruiting Primer
• Tuesday: Bounce Up Like Roundball: Michigan Basketball Is Here!

I AM SO SORRY. TONIGHT, CONTENT (AND ROMANTIC) EXPLOSION; MAJOR APOLOGY; MAJOR RE-UP.

GREAT SUCCESS.

This week's ballot is below. Analysis follows this evening.

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Ohio State	--
2	Florida	2
3	Southern Cal	--
4	Michigan	1
5	West Virginia	4
6	Louisville	1
7	Texas	3
8	Tennessee	3
9	California	8
10	Clemson	2
11	Oregon	3
12	Arkansas	14
13	Auburn	11
14	Notre Dame	--
15	Missouri	6
16	Iowa	2
17	Oklahoma	2
18	LSU	12
19	Georgia Tech	3
20	Virginia Tech	1
21	Georgia	8
22	Boise State	--
23	Rutgers	--
24	Wisconsin	--
25	Boston College	--

The Detroit News is reporting that Mario Manningham will undergo arthroscopic surgery to repair a partially torn meniscus and, potentially, a partially torn MCL.

Needless to say, he will not be available to play against Penn State, and likely not Iowa, either.

In his absence, Adrian Arrington is likely to emerge as Chad Henne's preferred WR target down the field--and it's all relative, meaning past the five-yard area close to the line of scrimmage that Steve Breaston loves--while this may give Breaston a chance to demonstrate that he can actually, like, so stuff as WR and not just as a RB set out toward the sidelines. It will also afford freshman Greg Mathews a chance to demonstrate the rumored ability that has earned him praise from coaches and teammates.

Strategically, Manningham's absence will likely make it hard for Michigan to stretch the field, and this, in turn, may make an already stout PSU run defense that much more imposing. If Michigan can't run, Michigan can't win. All season, the offense has been predicated on establishing the run and working off of that rhythm, using play action and the deep ball judiciously. With Lloyd Carr and Mike DeBord likely to call run many, many, MANY times (like, on 15 of 16 first downs, as they did at one point during the MSU game), sometimes against eight- and nine-man fronts (seriously, they're stubborn), the UM offensive line must be phenomenal. So, too, must Chad Henne, as his ability to complete shorter and intermediate routes to a number of players, not just his Italian-named down-field security blanket, will likely determine whether Michigan's most valuable player will become P Zoltan Mesko.

Unlike some, I think Michigan (and its fans) needs to be very concerned about this weekend's game. While Penn State is far from a great team, it is certainly composed of players who, collectively, can beat Michigan. PSU QB Anthony Morelli has not responded well to pressure and, generally, is not a Leinart-like weapon, but he's improved as the season has worn on, has a strong arm, can make a number of throws, and has talented receivers. RB Tony Hunt has gone for 100 yards in four-straight games, and PSU was able to run on OSU. A number of people have, but the OSU defense is not devoid of talent, so Michigan is not traveling to Happy Valley to take on the 1-AA All-Stars of Altoona. And, of course, the PSU defense has been strong against the run and mediocre against the pass, but that only helps Michigan to the extent that it can demonstrate a robust and creative passing offense in the absence of Manningham. I have my doubts, as there are still so many elements missing from the game plan.

Also to not be underestimated is emotion. Emotion may not wholly compensate for talent, but let's be real: PSU hasn't beaten Michigan in nearly a decade; the fans are paranoid to a disturbing extent and hate Michigan; Beaver Stadium is very loud, especially at night; Michigan pissed in PSU's undefeated cereal last year; and most important, this single game is the season for PSU. The team is already out of the top-25 and the national title hunt; it is obviously mediocre but dangerous. I'm sorry, but all of that matters, even if dreams of Michigan perfection are obscuring reason and fear of a Michigan failure isn't much fun. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail, and the Wolverines will fail this weekend if they don't fully respect the threat posed by a wounded but proud team playing at home in the most important game of the year against a team missing one of its most important weapons.

Given recent history, and Lloyd Carr's tendencies to--say it with me now--pucker pucker pucker up on the road, why would any Michigan fan feel so at ease with this weekend's game? We've seen what happens to Chad Henne when he doesn't have a go-to receiver whom he fully trusts--it's not pretty. What is Henne going to look like this weekend if Michigan can't move the ball on the ground and Mario isn't there as the six-points-now pressure-release valve? We'll learn a lot about the "new" Henne on Saturday.

Meanwhile: Get well soon, Mario. You're already missed. More than people are willing to say.

On the road in D.C., but please chime in during the game and I will holler tomorrow.

Much like I wrote last week, I must reiterate that for me, there has emerged a clear three-tier stratification system among teams receiving votes on my BlogPoll ballot: there's the top ten; the next ten; and five more teams of moderate distinction. There are arguably ten or so teams that qualify for inclusion in this lowest band, so the five present, though selected following serious thought, are not clearly superior to all other teams not ranked. On to the poll and its attendant information...

Games watched in part or full:

• Michigan vs. Minnesota - See here for thoughts.
  
• Auburn vs. South Carolina - One of those pollster conundrums: acquit Auburn for winning a conference road game or indict the Tigers for almost falling to a clearly inferior team?
  
• Alabama vs. Florida - I haven't enjoyed watching Alabama play football since Shaun Alexander and Freddie Milons lost in the Orange Bowl to Michigan. Can we just say that? Every year, it's the same boring-ass shit. Kudos to a Gators defense that looks like one of the best units in the country. And it will need to be against LSU and without Wynn. I still have questions about the Gator offense being able to move the ball in the clutch against a strong D. I guess we'll get an answer this week.
  
• The Ohio State Joke of a University vs. Iowa - Drew Tate: dangerous, gritty weapon or maddening interception bestower? Discuss. Also to discuss: Should Leon Hall cover Anthony Gonzalez or Ted Ginn? I vote for the former.
  
• Georgia Tech vs. Virginia Tech - November comes early in Blacksburg, as the defense fails and the team looks totally overwhelmed by an opponent that I didn't even think was all that good. Get ready to hear a lot about this game as Irish fans insufferably boast about returning to the BCS as the Golden Domers again get beaten by a team that isn't scared to join a conference and actually deserves to be there.

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Ohio State	--
2	Auburn	1
3	Southern Cal	1
4	Florida	--
5	Michigan	1
6	Louisiana State	1
7	Louisville	2
8	Oregon	3
9	West Virginia	4
10	Texas	2
11	Tennessee	5
12	Clemson	6
13	Georgia	3
14	Notre Dame	1
15	Oklahoma	2
16	Georgia Tech	10
17	Cal	2
18	Iowa	6
19	Virginia Tech	5
20	Wake Forest	1
21	Missouri	2
22	Boise State	2
23	Rutgers	1
24	Wisconsin	--
25	Boston College	1

Here's last week's ballot.

Poll notes:

• Auburn's problems with South Carolina seem much less worrisome than Southern Cal's problems with a Washington State team that Auburn destroyed.
  
• Really, what has West Virginia done? It drops, as I spend some time reassessing each team and trying to remain cognizant of resumes, not just reputations or history.
  
• Not so comfortable with Clemson and Georgia Tech making such big jumps, but which other teams have really stood out relative to the respective levels of competition that they have faced?
  
• Re: TCU--I was impressed by the nature of the Texas Tech win and caught up in how quaint it was to be ranking a non-BCS team so high. But Texas Tech isn't ranked, Texas A&M isn't good, and BYU is an unknown that lost to Boston College. Thus, the precipitous fall of the Horned Frogs. I'm human. Sorry.

Posted above is a little something called "Here's How You Win the Biletnikoff Award." It's a highlight reel from Michigan's epic comeback victory against Michigan State in 2004. You may still direct all notes of appreciation and admiration to Braylon Edwards.

The 2004 MSU-UM game was, of course, emblematic of both programs. Michigan allowed an inferior team to threaten it for far too long and only "opened up" its offense when it had too, backed into a proverbial corner and overcome by despair. Really it was a Lloyd Carr trademark--why ever test yourself in the depths of greatness when you can instead flounder about in the unrewarding shallows of good enough? It was also a showcase for Jim Herrmann's wildly ineffective defensive coordination. Thank God he got so many chances to solidify how inept he had become.

For Michigan State, that game, of course, was a notable contribution to an ever growing catalogue of dramatic collapses and shocking defeats, a canon of work already enhanced this season by the colossal failures at home against Notre Dame and Illinois. Year in, year out, the Spartans are reliably inconsistent and regular underachievers, rarely ever demonstrating the mental focus, emotional stability, and tactical execution required to ultimately mean anything. Ignoring the cheap ignominy of couch burning and rioting, when was the last time that the Spartans truly mattered?

As Michigan gears up for its showdown with reeling-but-dangerous Michigan State, the staff of Schembechler Hall wanted to invite Michigan sports talk radio host Mike Valenti, of 1270 WXYT-AM, to share some thoughts about this week's game. If you don't know Mike, please see here. He's...uh...passionate about Spartan football. Sadly, Mike turned us down, citing something about his voice and cutting us off with, "Shut up, I'm not finished" when we tried to reschedule. Instead, we're using this audio to extrapolate which factors Mike would have identified as the keys to a Spartan victory in the Big House.

Michigan can't eat pudding at halftime
Against Notre Dame, the Spartans were really hurt by the fact that at halftime, Charlie Weis, Fat Boy, was able to feed his team pudding. The creamy, gelatinous texture, combined with the rich, exciting flavor of vanilla, reenergized the Irish, giving them an emotional ferocity that overwhelmed Michigan State.

Sticking with semi-liquids, Michigan State cannot be allowed near applesauce.
Prior to the Notre Dame loss, Michigan State trainers stocked the Spartan locker room with applesauce, as Head Coach John L. Smith knew a guy at Mott's who could get him a good deal. It was a clear deviation from the lead paint chips that the Spartans usually have as a pre-game meal, but apples are said to keep doctors away, and Smith knew his team would need to stay healthy if it were going to beat a top-15 team. Sadly, Smith didn't read the packaging labels on the sauce carefully, and he missed the warning that poorly coached teams with quarterback who talk a lot of smack and then turn the ball over too much can easily choke on applesauce.

Apples? Like the ones that are too tart and make you pucker up?
Exactly. Michigan State can't pucker up. Too many guys who put on the uniform have been embarrassing such a proud program by failing to make plays and instead asking Drew Stanton to carry the program. Now, don't get it twisted: Drew is not Vince Young, and even he had help. But Drew is good, and Michigan State's other players can't sit, there, turn to the quarterback with a puppy-dog look, and say, "Help us! We don't know what to do." No more puckering up. And similarly, no kissing the air with a lead like 38-17 against Notre Dame or 34-17 against Michigan. Pucker, pucker, pucker!

Virile Michigan State fans must do their job, paying $75 and getting a bunch of old asses off their feet, cheering their asses off.
This one is simple--the fans have to do their job, because the team may not.

Michigan State can't mismanage the clock agaaihhhhn; fail to use its timeouts right agaaihhhhn; and allow opponents to get into halftime and make adjustments agaaihhhhn. With your foot on the pedal, you don't let up. John L. Smith needs to learn the effin' rules of football (there's likely a manual he can read) and remember that unlike the minutes he receives on something like a Cingular cell-phone plan, timeouts do not carry over. Michigan State needs to cut its opponent's throat real deep and watch the blood squirt all over; it can't let another team get into halftime and eat pudding (see above). Really, MSU might want to consider boarding shut the Michigan locker room once the teams emerge from the locker rooms before the game. That would make most pudding inaccessible and would make the implementation of adjustments challenging. But mostly, it's the thing about cutting and the thing about pudding.

PUT THE BEST 11 GUYS ON THE FIELD!
Javon Ringer, out for the season, will no longer be getting exclusive carries in the second half. *Phew*

Check the play calling
Where to start? First, if this week's game is played in monsoon-like conditions, what the hell would MSU use the shotgun formation for? It's not really fair to ask the players to run the option in Hurricane Katrina. So that's one thing to keep in mind. Second, Defensive Coordinator Chris Smeland should be calling the game remotely. He needs to get out of town, as his zero blitzes are ineffective, and his secondary plays with non-standard equipment on its feet that looks like dinghies. Also, all stupid-ass blitz packages must get "home," or else the Spartans could be in trouble.

Michigan State has to MAKE PLAYS!

Please take a moment to mourn the passing of one of the great names in the history of Michigan football: Mister Simpson is transferring.

Not all that happy to be buried on the depth chart behind Mike Hart, a should-be fullback, two freshmen, and a formerly apostate aspiring rapper, Simpson is transferring to Cincinnati, in his hometown.

If you'll recall, the transfer-paper gambit is something Lloyd Carr has been employing with increased frequency. Looks like the joke's on him, now. (Not really, though: seems like Simpson initiated this move.)

The upshot: One more scholarship is suddenly available for a doughy three-star offensive lineman that will excite zero recruitniks and probably live in West Quad. Or maybe a big-time wide receiver, as there are several out there that Michigan would like for this recruiting class. And that reminds me--Programming note: Recruiting update coming this week...

Michigan won back its Little Brown Jug this weekend, sometimes putting a beatdown on Minnesota in a 28-14 victory.

Overall, the Wolverines looked like a vintage Lloyd Carr-coached Michigan team--it was run-first all the way; play action fueled the passing game; the defense was pretty strong with some occasional lapses; Ryan Mundy was reliably out of position at conspicuous times; and the team was only spectacular when it had to be.

This season, these things don't feel as damning, though. Maybe it's because Michigan has controlled every game, making the mistakes appear to be less worthy of concern; maybe it's because the schedule suddenly seems more forgiving than it appeared a month ago; or maybe it's because from week to week and even half to half, some break downs seem to be getting fixed more quickly. Don't count me among the many all but giving Michigan 11 victories in advance of November 18th, but even I am having a hard time being my characteristically realistic/pessimistic self.

Some game notes:

• Chad Henne was The Man. The numbers are impressive enough--17-24, 284 yards, 3 TDs, no interceptions--but they don't tell the whole story. While there have been more important games in which Henne has played well--like last year's OSJU battle and the 2005 Rose Bowl--this past week's game may have been Henne's best performance as a Wolverine. From the opening play, he looked to be in total control of the offense. His play action fakes were crisp; he made multiple reads on plays when that strategic assessment was required; he froze safeties with his eyes; he stood in against the (very minimal) pressure; he rolled out nicely; and, what's most importantly, he was making nearly every throw perfectly. His passes down the middle to Arrington were perfect; his throws to Mario Manningham first for a touchdown and later for that long gain down to the Minnesota two-yard line were perfect. Sure, the sideline pass in the first half to Breaston was a little too far outside (although I can't imagine Henne thought Breaston would be that open), and he overthrew a couple of balls, but Henne was great. What a commanding performance.
  
  
• Michigan stopped only throwing to the sideline. And thank the fucking Lord; it was about time. For about, oh, I don't know, ever, Michigan's game plans asked Henne to throw lots of outs, sideline comebacks, fades, and four-yard dump-offs on third-and-much-more-than-four. Allegedly, Henne had a hard time throwing the ball over the middle due to problems with his reads, his touch, and his timing. I can't imagine that Breaston and Manningham's inability to catch slants inspires much confidence, either. But all of that seemed to wash away this weekend, as Henne regularly threw the ball down the middle of the field to a streaking Michigan wide receiver that Minnesota had no hope of covering. Super Mario again dropped a slant, so the sort passing game that exploits soft linebackers or puts the ball over a linebacker and in front of a safety is still not there, but any incremental improvement is welcomed.
• The offensive line protected passes well. And by that I mean, of course, that the pass protection was strong. It seemed as though Chad Henne was forced out of a rhythm and/or away from one of his primary intentions rarely. Henne has never been accused of struggling to find the guy he's meant to find when given the time, so the choice that Michigan's offensive line forced on Minnesota--you know, to give Henne time--wasn't so smart. I can't remember, but it also seemed as though Minnesota chose against consistently blitzing, likely because Arrington and Manningham were getting open all day while the running game got more than five yards per carry, and that might not have been so smart.
  
  It wasn't all peaches and sunshine for UM, though. Ruben Riley was again called for holding and there were a couple of times when Henne got flushed out of the pocket, one time when he was sacked. I would be much more upset with Riley were he not selflessly playing out of position, as he is a natural guard. Instead, it's easier to question Offensive Line Coach Andy Moeller and Strength and Conditioning Coach Uncle Rico Mike Gittleson--how is it that Michigan only has one healthy, capable offensive tackle? Where's the player development?
• Um, wasn't the pass rush supposed to be, like, good and stuff? Michigan sacked Brian Cupito zero times, and the Gopher QB seemed to have all the time he needed on most of his pass attempts. Michigan's failure to get to the quarterback wasn't wholly a failure of the defensive line, of course. Cupito made a lot of three- and five-step drops, occasionally lined up in the shotgun, and was getting rid of the ball quickly, all strategies employed to mitigate the usually fearsome Wolverine front four. But on a number of long passes, Michigan rushed four and even blitzed yet still couldn't get to Cupito. This was an area of concern, although the other 80% of the season suggests that the absent pass rush was an aberration.
  
  We should also note that against such a powerful running team like Minnesota, Michigan's defensive line was likely a little hesitant to get all up in that ass, lest it let the Gophers use delays and draws and counters and cutbacks and all that to exploit the aggressive move up field.
• Charles Stewart is a disaster. It's not nice to rip a kid, and I'm not saying that he's a bad person, undeserving of a scholarship, or worse than George Allen. But it has to be fair to criticize how a player goes about his assignments, no? I get on the coaches all the time, but they aren't the ones who are on the field getting lit up by any ol' dude with two legs and an inclination to accelerate. All night against the Gophers, whenever there was a big pass play or a missed tackle in the secondary, it looked like Stewart was reliably running into, falling into, or getting left out of the picture a second or so after the play. Morgan Trent needs to come back as soon as possible--broken bone in his hand and all--because Michigan State, Iowa, and Ohio State will run Stewart into Wolverine infamy.
• Michigan really needs a special teams coach. When Lloyd "shook up" his staff this offseason and made the bold decisions to elevate his defensive backs coach in lieu of retaining a guy who had failed over and over again while also booting his offensive coordinator in favor of his carpool buddy, he also beefed up the defensive coaching staff. Whereas last year's defensive staff consisted of a coordinator who also handled linebackers, a DBs coach, and a line coach, the latest incarnation of the Lloyd Carr Cronyism Lives Here Boys Club includes a line coach, a linebackers coach, a cornerbacks coach, and a seemingly god-body defensive coordinator who loves safeties.
  
  No Michigan fan can credibly complain about the defense--it is winning games, and the new staff has already proved its superiority. But adding an extra body to coach 'em up on defense meant that someone else had to get cut elsewhere, and that person was a special teams-dedicated coach. The result? Michigan never blocks punts; Michigan does a horrible job setting up punt and kick returns; and the kickoff coverage has been inconsistent. Those are the results of a program whose general attitude toward special teams seems to be that that phase of the game is just something to survive, not something that might ever actually win a game. And that's pathetic. Next off season, as he plows through his Disraeli biographies and trades rub-downs with Mike DeBord, Lloyd might consider taking a trip to an NFL team or a college where they know what to do on special teams so that Michigan can threaten its opponents in all three phases of the game.
  
  At least Zoltan Mesko is starting to look like the real deal.
• Mike Hart is too slow. Stop. Stop it. Stop it right now. Before you proceed to the comments section to bombard me with insults and angry "reminders" about Mike Hart's quality, know that I am fully aware of Hart's strengths. He's Mike Freakin' Hart: he always falls forward, he never goes down on contact, he doesn't lose fumbles, he plays well in big games, and he is the emotional engine that drives the team. I am not refuting or marginalizing any of that. Michigan is a markedly better team with him. So save your sanctimonious, self-congratulatory "Michigan Man" schtick for the homers on a message board.
  
  That said, there are some things that Mike Hart isn't, and one of those things is fast. He just doesn't have the speed to get outside or create truly big plays in the running game. The 54-yarder at the end of the game aside--which was completely out of the ordinary--he doesn't ever change a game with huge burst. Michigan may not need that if it can get 5.4 yards per carry, but speed in the backfield would be a tremendous improvement for this running game, as the zone scheme has not emerged as a system that allows Michigan, with its personnel, to attack the outside on the ground. It seems as though it would behoove the coaches to develop some plays that might maximize the burst of a kid like Minor or Brown, especially if they're gonna burn Brown's redshirt on 30 carries over the course of 12 games this season.
• Kevin Grady is a potentially great fullback. At least, I hope he is, because he's a mediocre running back. He doesn't have great vision, doesn't have great moves, and doesn't hit a hole especially quickly. He's a straight line runner with decent power and a maddening penchant for fumbling. That's a bad combination if you want to be an elite runner and can't even run a 4.5 (or even a 4.6?). If he worked on his blocking, and if the coaches would ever actually involve the fullback in the offense as more than just a body of mass with pads on, Grady seems like he'd be an ideal fullback, a true offensive weapon at a position that usually doesn't concern a defense. I'd especially like to see this happen sooner rather than later because Minor and Brown both might benefit from increased in-game reps if Grady were playing fullback. But that's not likely at all, and even if the potential does exist, we wouldn't see it until next year. *sigh*
• I am still not a Mike DeBord fan, but for one week we may have found detente. Look, Michigan still runs on too many first downs, still tips too many plays with its formations, and still can't do shit like punch it in to the end zone with a first down inside the five. But that said, the first three quarters on Saturday were a perfect example of methodical execution that builds on itself as success mounts. The early running success begot the play action; the play action begot more room at the line; and more room at the line begot easier going for the offense. Kudos to DeBord and the players for executing such a sound game plan. Now we need more variety in the formations and passing game. And I am still not sold on the zone-blocking scheme if the whole thing is basically just Mike Hart running right or left between the tackles. Good teams seem likely to stop this, and Wisconsin already showed that the Michigan offense is not likely to blow people out.
• Minnesota should be ashamed that it is still using the Metrodome. If you want to be in the Big Ten, get a football stadium already. I know that they're building one, but Jesus, what a joke. When the game started and ESPN spent a minute explaining that there was a "lip" on the field thanks to its use for baseball, I thought I was watching bush-league football. I also assumed that if Michigan lost, Lloyd, who never makes excuses, would have found his latest "explanation." At least it wasn't a crowned field.
• Ryan Mundy is not really...(wait for it)...good at football. He just gets lost in coverage too often, and much like Stewart, he is usually trailing a play, watching someone do something in front of, behind, or next to him. Nice guy, glad his career wasn't ended, and it's great that he doesn't have permanent nerve damage. But it doesn't say much about UM's other safeties that Mundy starts.

This has been a crazy week for me--too much work, too little posting. Sorry.

But my week, for all of its work-related stress and time-consuming assignments, is not possibly as bad as this guy's.

What follows, honestly, is fifteen minutes of excruciating pain that you will not be able to stop listening to. It is so simultaneously amazing and horrifying that you may become momentarily paralyzed. NOTHING can possibly prepare you for this, inarguably the greatest on-air meltdown in the history of life. Really, this is FUCKING CRAZY. (It gets really good/bad after about four minutes, but you need to hear the whole thing.)

If you see WXYT-AM's Mike Valenti on the street: 1) remove ALL college football paraphernalia IMMEDIATELY; 2) Give him a hug.

Click the link for audio, or "save as" to download the clip.

Download: MELTDOWN!

(HT: House Rock Built)

Below is my BlogPoll ballot for this week. The games that I watched were few, as I was in Ann Arbor to watch Ron English's brilliant defense put another beatdown on another helpless opponent. More analysis and impressions to come later. Now, the ballot:

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Ohio State	--
2	Southern Cal	--
3	Auburn	--
4	Florida	1
5	West Virginia	1
6	Michigan	1
7	Louisiana State	1
8	Texas	1
9	Louisville	1
10	Georgia	4
11	Oregon	1
12	Iowa	1
13	TCU	1
14	Virginia Tech	1
15	Notre Dame	2
16	Tennessee	--
17	Oklahoma	--
18	Clemson	7
19	Cal	--
20	Boise State	1
21	Wake Forest	5
22	Rutgers	--
23	Missouri	3
24	Wisconsin	1
25	Washington	1

I suppose that the delta figures tell the story, but here's last week's ballot, to be safe.

Some notes about this week ballot:

• Ohio State is not a clear-cut number one team. As discussed last week, there are a handful of additional teams that could all claim to be college football's best, notably Auburn, USC, Florida, West Virginia, and Michigan, though maybe not in that order. The Buckeyes didn't look so great at home, in the rain, but that second condition makes it hard to drop them for getting the job done against a decent team. That said, don't count me among the ESPN-indoctrinated many who assume that OSU is the only choice for a first-place vote. Thankfully, Iowa is going to help us get more clarity on this issue by Saturday night.
• Relatively speaking, West Virginia was slowed down, and that gave me just a modicum of doubt.
• Georgia got punished for struggling against a crappy team. Notre Dame got punished for again looking helpless on defense.
• There are three distinct groupings in the poll: the top ten, the next ten, and the bottom five. With a few exceptions--no way that Clemson jumps Iowa right now given the weak ACC--the next ten and the bottomr five could each be rearranged fairly easily, so the order is not nearly as important as the rankings band into which the teams fall. Obviously, Oregon beating Oklahoma and Tennessee beating Cal help to inform the ballot's order, but this is still a work in progress as the conference schedules start to test teams.
• Clemson moved up after easily getting the job done against UNC and looking like it's really coming together. Put another way, among the teams now behind the Tigers, who can make a strong claim that it deserves to be placed ahead of them?

This gets posted super early this week because I will be in Southeast Michigan through Sunday, so posting and blog maintenance will be light.

Consider this a repository for any and all UM-related thoughts between now and Sunday evening.

It's been a minute since the last BlogPoll Roundtable, and thankfully, Michigan blogger extraordinaire Dave at Maize n Brew has come through with a new batch of questions. To the roundtable we go...

1. It's only the third week of the season and we've already seen some highly ranked favorites drop out of national championship contention. Preseason favorite Cal dropped to #21 after a loss and a pair of underwhelming victories. Who's your pick as the next NC contender to take a fall?
As usual, Paul Wall Westerdawg came correct and picked out Michigan, noting that the 10/14 night game at Penn State might be a "Lloyd Carr special." Similarly, any Michigan fan with an ounce of sense and/or historical perspective has to be somewhat wary of just about every game on the schedule between now and October 28th, when Michigan hosts a pretty crappy Northwestern team. Wisconsin, at Minnesota, Michigan State, at Penn State, and Iowa may not be an SEC gauntlet of death, but it's an unquestionably treacherous schedule. Were those five games broken up by Indiana, Northwestern, and Ball State, they'd still be difficult; but taken as a block, they are daunting. Sure, after last weekend, Michigan looks like it should be favored in each of those matchups, but let's not kid ourselves and pretend that UM lives up to expectations from week to week.

Picking out an SEC contender is almost too easy, as Florida, Georgia, LSU, Tennessee, and Auburn may well beat each other up, but of that top group (not so fast, Vols), Georgia, with its freshman QB, seems most likely to struggle. Especially since the Bulldogs rarely seem to win in Jacksonville and the Gator defense looks great.

And if old reliables Michigan and an SEC team to be named later aren't doing it for you, how about Iowa? The Hawkeyes look to be one Drew Tate injury away from falling apart and still have to deal with Ohio State and Michigan.

2. By that same token there are several schools hanging around without a loss that all of a sudden look like surprise contenders. There are also a few one loss teams with a legit shot at getting back into it. Looking at the rankings who's the team no one's talking about with the best shot at crashing the party?
If accuracy is among our most important goals, the last part of this question makes the query a difficult one to satisfy. With its emerging defense, explosive offense, and Troy Smith, Ohio State looks to have a two-game season left: at Iowa, vs. Michigan; with its own strong defense, wunderkind 8th-year junior quarterback, Pac-10 schedule, important games at home, and Dwayne Jarrett, USC looks like it will have few tests before January; and with the Big East, though improving, still being the Big East, both West Virginia and Louisville basically only have each other. These four teams, all undefeated, appear to have the easiest paths to blemish-free living. But we're all talking about them.

Ditto with LSU, an obvious choice, in the abstract, as the one-loss team with the best chance of remaining in the national title picture, thanks to its obvious talent and great defense. The catch for the Bayou Bengals, of course, is that we don't live and play in the abstract; we live and play in reality, a place where Auburn needs to lose twice and LSU needs to win out for LSU to even get to the SEC title game. People are talking about this team, too.

Since its home loss to the Buckeyes, few people seem to be all that concerned with a Texas team still ranked in the top ten. Thanks to playing in the mediocre-as-always Big XII, the Longhorns have a great chance to win out if they can beat an Oklahoma team that doesn't defend the run, tackles relatively poorly, and might have left its mind on the same "crowned" field that ruined Lloyd Carr's dreams in 2003. Unless, of course, OU's president writes to Myles Brand requesting that the season be cancelled and that the Sooners be selected as national champions to compensate them for the pain and suffering caused by last weekend's poor officiating and even worse defense and special teams. It's only fair, you guys.

3. Every team has their quicksand away game. You know. That place you should win but somehow find ways to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory or at least scare the &*%^ out of you every year. Did you know that over the last 21 years Kentucky hasn't won once in Knoxville? Where is your team's yearly sandtrap?
Wherever there is an excuse to be found.

Right away, let's just agree that South Bend and Columbus are bad choices because: a) UM isn't supposed to win in those pits of awfulness; 2) and maybe this is just exhibit aa, but those teams are usually good. Notre Dame, of course, still hasn't returned to whatever glory it once had, and it has been a pretty mediocre program for about a decade, but those Irish teams would still beat UM in Indiana, so really, UM might be passed the most easily identified quicksand.

But to posit this as a conclusive answer is to neglect an important hallmark of the Lloyd Carr era. "Michigan doesn't make excuses" is what we're always told as the team and its leadership proceed to make excuses: officiating, clock (mis)management, crowned fields, pre-game dog-aided searches--you name it. It's always something with the Wolverines. Why live up to the talent, and why devise aggressive game plans, when you can instead "play it safe" and complain about it afterwards when things don't work out?

And so the real quicksand is Life's Inherent Unpredictability. Damn you, life! When you employ a football philosophy that, undeterred by failure, regularly allows for little margin of error, your most persistent tormenter is the wickedness of life's undulations. The thinking goes like this: once you have the lead, there is no need to continue to play aggressive football. If you just pack it in, grind out the tough yards, play stout defense, and punt well, you should have no problems because the opponent will just succumb, relenting to your logic and abandoning any hope for change. Never mind that you can't reliably get the tough yards, don't regularly play stout defense in crunch time, and are not known for your virtuosity in the kicking game. The opponent will never exploit these vulnerabilities and nothing unforeseen will ever occur. And besides, if any of that stuff actually happens, you can always blame a failure to execute or one of a number of variables.

4. Now that you've looked into the darkest place in your football soul, free Escalades aside, turn and look into your crystal ball. Conference play is either just starting or a single game in. Based on what you've seen so far, give the order of finish in your conference, and if you've got a Conference Championship game tell us who the winner will be. Independents must predict the remainder of their schedule. The results your predictions will be held against you at the end of the season.

1. Ohio State
   
2. Michigan
   
3. Iowa
   
4. Wisconsin
   
5. Michigan State
   
6. Penn State
   
7. Minnesota
   
8. Purdue
   
9. Indiana
   
10. Northwestern
    
11. Illinoise (like Ron would say it)

5. In keeping with the spirit of Maize n Brew, name your beverage of choice on game days and why. It need not be alcoholic, as there are some of us who choose not to imbibe on game day. Further, it need not be limited to a single brand/type/category. If you enjoy drinking PBR and Kraft Turkey Gravy at the same time (which I have personally witnessed), please, elaborate. Finally, if you should feel so inclined, and this is not a requirement, add an anecdote involving said beverage choice.
Bud Light. Moderate but not unpleasant taste + thin consistency + priced to move + readily available = Good times.

More seriously, I love me some Yuengling, a Pennsylvania lager that has a fine taste and was introduced to me in a sporting context, so it will forever have a football connotation, deserved or otherwise.

As one might have expected, last weekend's slate of college football produced results that challenged the prevailing BlogPoll power structure. And just like the Oklahoma-Oregon (non-)game, this week's ballot will likely be somewhat controversial; fueled by speculation and overreaction; and ultimately meaningless when it comes time to select a national champion (oh snap!).

Last week's ballot is here.

Beatdowns watched:
Michigan vs. Notre Dame
Maryland vs. West Virginia (partially)

Defensive drills watched:
LSU vs. Auburn

Falls from grace watched:
Miami (FL) vs. Louisville

Travashamockeries watched:
Oklahoma vs. Oregon

Entirely-expected-but-nonetheless-still-staggering acts of nepotism watched:
Clemson vs. Florida State

Games watched:
Florida vs. Tennessee
Nebraska vs. USC

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Ohio State	--
2	Southern Cal	--
3	Auburn	--
4	West Virginia	1
5	Florida	3
6	Georgia	1
7	Michigan	12
8	Louisiana State	4
9	Texas	--
10	Louisville	3
11	Iowa	1
12	Oregon	1
13	Notre Dame	7
14	TCU	6
15	Virginia Tech	3
16	Tennessee	6
17	Oklahoma	1
18	Boston College	3
19	Cal	4
20	Arizona State	6
21	Boise State	3
22	Rutgers	3
23	Wisconsin	3
24	UCLA	2
25	Clemson	1

Some notes about the ballot:

• Ohio State remains #1 given the generally high level at which it has performed and the impressive road dominance in Austin. But, with Michigan's win in South Bend, Florida's win in Knoxville, and Auburn's win over a legitimate top-ten team, there are suddenly a handful of impressive triumphs that all argue for consideration as the season's "best win." Discuss...
  
  
• There is a legitimate argument to be made for Auburn to be ranked higher, as it has dominated the dominatable and completely shut down an LSU offense with plenty of talent. I mean, Russell, alone, is a walking freak of nature--he can flick a football fifty yards. Probably one of the most intriguing players I can ever remember, mostly because he seems to have so little personality and yet is such a physical anomaly. (Were this ESPN, I'd likely have to say something crazy like, "The Bayou Bengals have more offensive talent than the Detroit Lions. That's a fact!" Right, dunny?)
  
  But I am left to wonder about the potency of its own offense, and USC--with its own stellar, fast defense and more sophisticated passing game--would be a pretty good match up. Thus, I don't know that the Trojans merit a step down on the ballot.
  
  
• While the Florida defense just looks lights-out fast and really, really good, the offense continues to be a little underwhelming. I don't fully trust Leak; the running game seems to be fueled almost exclusively by DeShawn Wynn using a spin move more than I do on PlayStation; the offensive line has some alarming moments of weakness; and before the snap, there is always a lot of running around in the backfield that ultimately results in nothing. Why does it seem like the Gators run five plays over and over again? And by the way, I don't want to go too far out on a limb, here, but when Tim Tebow is in the game, I bet you that he's running up the middle. I know: crazy, right?
  
  Unrelated: Brandon James might be the scariest special teams player that I have seen in a long time. My God!
  
  
• Georgia is probably now primed for a fall thanks to its freshman QB and remaining SEC schedule, but if it continues to play such dominant defense and special teams, it can stay in my top ten for a while. And using the transitive property, the Bulldogs look pretty good given the beatdown that they administered to a seemingly competitive UAB team.
  
  
• Michigan makes the week's biggest jump following its coming-out party in South Bend. The defense looks aggressive and smart; the offense can run the ball and stretch the field. I'd like to see UM use more of the field in the passing game, and the Conservative Carr tendencies poked through on offense at the beginning of each half, but overall, not much to dislike about the Wolverines right now. If the team stays motivated and aggressive, hard to think it won't be 6-0 heading into Happy Valley on 10/14, and possibly 7-0 when it comes home to play Iowa. If it makes it out of those games unscathed, I like the chances that Michigan will travel to Columbus for another 1 vs. 2 match-up to end the season. That is A LOT of contingencies, though. And it's only been three games.
  
  
• LSU stays in the top ten. No question.
  
  
• Oregon and Iowa flip flop because the Oregon run defense is not good and the undefeated record shouldn't excuse that.
  
  
• TCU moves way up because: 1) everyone else seems pretty indistinguishable right now; 2) holding Texas Tech to 3 points is pretty remarkable. Who else has done that during the Mike Leach era?
  
  
• Regarding Oklahoma: Yes, it got screwed. Those calls were atrocious and embarrassing. But the ensuing histrionics are a complete abortion of decency and affront to college athletics. Maybe the Oklahoma President should spend more time making the school a top-notch center of learning and adhering to the rules and less time writing absurd letters and making crazy threats. Read Pat Forde. Also, officiating is a part of sports. It sucks, but that's life. Find something better to do with your time, Sooners. Start by playing defense and beating Texas.
  
  
• For the rest of the ballot, I basically threw darts. FSU, Miami, and Georgia Tech drop out because I don't really think any of them are all that good and other teams have made stronger cases that they deserve to be ranked. Nebraska drops because it looked pretty overmatched on Saturday and it really hasn't done anything else of distinction.
  
  
• Arizona State, Cal, UCLA, and Wisconsin should all sort themselves out this weekend.
  
  

Victory looked like this on Saturday:

The scoring...

...the offense...

...the defense:

Or, if you prefer something more cinematic and infinitely more dorky (and, to be honest, I sort of do), I suggest this rendering of Michigan as the Empire striking back.

You know what else victory looks like? This sort of lunacy on ND Nation, home to what can only be described as "a bunch of babies":

I generally don't like Notre Dame fans, although that is an enmity accompanied by respect. Notre Dame fans appreciate the history and pageantry of college football. They aren't obnoxious; they don't make trips to South Bend seem like you're visiting Rikers Island (South Bend is plenty horrible as it is); and they tend to know their football. I can't stand the program, the media obsession with a school that has done nothing remarkable in decades, or the delusional self-satisfaction and self-aggrandizement that most Domers seem to harbor. That all blows, but at least Notre Dame fans represent themselves as human beings. Unlike the Napoleonic troglodytes from Columbus who are univerally reviled across the college football spectrum for always misbehaving, caring little for rules, desecrating the majesty of the sport, and being generally insufferable.

However, when the message board zealots start posting stuff like this, that respect is hard to salvage amidst the countervailing emotions.

And finally, Sports Illustrated: While I would never be presumptuous enough to assume that you would put Michigan on the cover of your magazine just for beating Notre Dame, it seems as though we have entered into a remarkably unremarkable portion of the sports calendar. Sure, this is a fun time--football is in full swing, NBA training camps open in a few weeks, the Ryder Cup is popping off this weekend--but little of the extraordinary can be found. As a result, you, SI might be inclined to feature a college football story, especialy since last weekend was roundly hailed as such an exemplary moment in college football. I am OK with this though, but please refrain from featuring any Michigan players on the cover. You can put one there if Michigan beats Ohio State or if it wins the National Championship. That would be great. But not this week. We don't need that right now. If you must feature the beatdown that the Wolverines put on Notre Dame, how about something else instead:



Or (look at the guy immediately to Breaston's right):

No analysis right now. Just elation!

Carr outcoached Weis; Ron English is the truth; Henne played well; Mario is #1 (literally); and this was the most enjoyable day of Michigan football in a long, long time.

Go Blue!

Today is the day of redemption...

I am not from Los Angeles, have never spent time in Los Angeles, and know very little about Los Angeles save for the basics: the air is shitty, the traffic is shitty, and you can run into a celebrity at any moment. Thus, I don't know if Scott Wolf, a USC beat writer, or his newspaper, the Los Angeles Daily News, are worthy of respect. Given the considerable gap in national prestige between the Los Angeles Times and the Daily News, I'd imagine that the latter is sort of like the New York Post, a newspaper that can't contend in the rarefied air of elite journalism and instead opts for lowbrow mass appeal and a good sports section. And given this alarming AP Top 25 ballot from Wolf, it appears as though he isn't exactly a sports-writing legend in the making.

Look at this thing:

1. West Virginia
   
2. Ohio State
   
3. Auburn
   
4. LSU
   
5. Florida State
   
6. Michigan
   
7. Florida
   
8. USC
   
9. Notre Dame
   
10. Miami
    
11. Iowa
    
12. Georgia
    
13. Virginia Tech
    
14. Oklahoma
    
15. Tennessee
    
16. Nebraska
    
17. Texas
    
18. Oregon
    
19. Louisville
    
20. Texas A&M
    
21. Boston College
    
22. TCU
    
23. Penn State
    
24. UCLA
    
25. Alabama

Let us consider all that seems wrong with these choices:

• 
  
• While I have no qualms with West Virginia being ranked in or around the top 5, I don't understand how any voter can place it above Ohio State, which has beaten a top-10 team on the road.
• He has no-offense-playing FSU at #5, and we-lost-at-home-to-them Miami at #10.
• He has a Michigan team that probably lacks balance and has a number of issues that are fairly apparent to even casual observers ranked ahead of Notre Dame, which has a more impressive resume; and teams like USC and Tennessee, each of which already has a much better win than a home defeat of Vandy or Central Michigan
• He has dropped Texas, which moved the ball on but lost to the leading national championship contender, behind a team like Iowa, which, Tate or no Tate, just struggled to get by Syracuse, arguably the worst BCS-conference team in the country.
  

Now of course, everyone is entitled to his own opinion, and some of the supposed errors I've cited above are issues of judgment for which there is no obvious correct answer. However, I think one can make a fairly convincing argument in favor of each criticism, and I don't think that the countervailing cases in support of Wolf's choices are as strong.

But yet, this man and his faulty or just absent logic directly influence who will win the national championship.

Brian is a golden god.

I am not one to capriciously introduce religion into sports discourse, but I just want to point out that I find it highly unlikely that of all the weeks that this non-Catholic could have gotten sick, it just coincidentally happened to be during this one that I would contract a raging case of avian flu. Beating Charlie Weis and his band of exalted skill positioners is hard enough; Jesus is just not fair.

• This week's BlogPoll is out. I won my award. Again. And not on purpose.
  
• For all the shit I give Lloyd, stories like this--truly heartbreaking--remind me that the man really does care about his players. Transfer papers and all. And that's important.
  
• Nice UM-ND preview up at MGoBlog and The House Rock Built.
• Gully?

Below is the BlogPoll ballot I shall submit this week. Some loose thoughts follow the rankings. Don't forget that I approach my vote as though it were a power ranking--who wins on a neutral field? That's the question that informs my choices.

Last week's ballot is here.

Please note that the "Delta" column tracks a team's movement from week to week. There are supposed to be shiny green and red arrows alongside the numbers, but my remedial HTML skills are effing me right now, so we must use the more traditional and uglier plus and minus system.

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Ohio State	+ 3
2	Southern Cal	- 1
3	Auburn	- 1
4	Louisiana State	+ 1
5	West Virginia	+ 1
6	Notre Dame	+ 3
7	Georgia	+ 4
8	Florida	+ 2
9	Texas	- 6
10	Tennessee	- 3
11	Oregon	+ 1
12	Iowa	- 4
13	Louisville	+ 4
14	Florida State	- 1
15	Miami (Florida)	- 1
16	Oklahoma	--
17	Nebraska	+ 1
18	Virginia Tech	- 3
19	Michigan	--
20	TCU	--
21	Boston College	+ 5
22	Georgia Tech	+ 1
23	Cal	+ 1
24	Boise State	+ 2
25	Rutgers	+ 1

Dropped Out: Clemson (#21), Fresno State (#22), Northwestern (#25).

- Ohio State has locked up the top spot on this ballot following what is likely the most impressive win of the young season. Given how Iowa struggled with Syracuse--and yes, Drew Tate was out, but come on--it looks like OSU has an excellent chance to go undefeated.

- Southern Cal and Auburn each move down to make room for OSU while LSU and West Virginia benefit from Texas's fall.

- Not really sure what to make of Notre Dame. Seems as though the defense is legit, although Georgia Tech and PSU aren't exactly machine-like in their offensive precision. I have fewer questions about the Irish offense, but still, #6 feels a little high. If Notre Dame beats Michigan by controlling the UM defensive line and shutting down the running game, this position will make a lot more sense to me.

- Georgia has been impressive. Well, parts of Georgia have been impressive. Stafford struggled and Tereshinski is an unknown, but the strength of this team was always going to be the running game and the defense. If one of the quarterbacks can merely serve as a proverbial "game manager" and protect the football, Georgia could again be a legitimate SEC contender.

- Texas is tough to place. The 24 points surrendered is slightly misleading, as those two turnovers gave OSU good field position, and the Buckeyes only ran for 79 yards. But, the pass coverage obviously has some issues, and Troy Smith had a lot of time on his hands. The running game chewed up a decent defense, although that's two weeks in row that someone has run on the Buckeyes. Seems the 'Horns will be alright; they're too talented not to be.

- Iowa looked horrible, but Tate was out and Manson threw 4 interceptions. Can't yet say if that was just a bad day or not, so for now, the Hawkeyes get some benefit of the doubt.

- After this week, there will likely be a lot of movement in the poll, as some real, challenging games pop off. This is a good thing, because I don't really know what to do with FSU and Miami, and have nowhere else to put them right now.

- Michigan goes nowhere until it either beats a good team or shows me more in the passing game. It occurs to me that Michigan is sort of like some other teams ranked ahead of it (good defense, strong running game, still developing passing game = Georgia, Texas), however both have looked more impressive against at least one real opponent while neither is coached by Lloyd Carr. That may seem like lazy, spiteful insight, but I honestly do not believe that the Michigan coaching staff would prepare this current roster well enough to beat the 18 teams ranked ahead of it. There are still too many questions.

- 20-25 is all fairly subjective. Ballots don't need to be finalized until 10 AM on Wednesday, so if there's a glaring omission, please make the case and I will consider it.

- I was tempted to leave Fresno in the rankings, but there are other teams that warrant inclusion. Northwestern will likely not get ranked again this season, so consider that my version of Spurrier's annual Duke vote.

Some notes from a weekend of games watched, either partially or entirely, and not watched, denoted with asterisks:

Clemson vs. Boston College - I mean, really, Clemson? Again? Always with the disappointing, would-seem-improbable-were-they-not-involving-a-team-named-"Clemson" losses. Why is this team the same every year? What's next, Tommy Bowden will be on the hot seat and then miraculously beat his father? Seriously, Groundhog Day.

Gotta give credit to B.C. for taking advantage of good fortune (that interception-catch -controversy overturn, for instance) while acknowledging that Clemson, as is its wont, was sloppy (kick coverage anyone?).

Penn State vs. Notre Dame - I was already skeptical about Penn State back in early July, so count me among the seemingly few who didn't think that this was going to be a good game or a "big" game. Big games, of course, require two teams of distinction.

This game was 41-3 through 48 minutes, and only after that did Penn State pick up 172 of its 383 yards of total offense on the way to two touchdowns that meant nothing. Notre Dame's offense looked like the unit that all of the pundits were expecting as they spent the offseason all but inventing words of praise to shower on the Irish. Brady Quinn was poised and efficient, and the Irish had four touchdown drives of 45 yards or more. The Notre Dame defense also appeared to be a truly formidable unit, not just the beneficiaries of Chan Gailey's ineptitude and Reggie Ball's maddening inconsistency.

Most discouraging for Michigan fans and the scores of Notre Dame haters, the Irish appeared to be precise and disciplined in their execution, training and thinking that inherently bestow confidence upon teams in possession of the two. Michigan rarely appears to play with this air of emotional superiority, instead regularly teetering on top of some fulcrum that allows one to see both the pit of despair and the valley of the sublime. While some would argue that amorphous commodities like "swagger" are imagined or inconsequential, at best, college football is undeniably a sport with a component of emotion, one that seems to regularly manifest itself in outcomes. Notre Dame, as it was last year, appears to again be positioned to wield this advantage in a tangible way, whether it be a daring play call or something like, oh, passing over the middle or down the field.

Ohio State Joke of a University vs. Texas - The following inmates will receive extra special treatment (i.e., a carton of cigs) this week: Troy Smith, the offensive line, whichever C.O. convinced Texas OC Greg Robinson to stop running the ball. Those were the keys to the game, no? It seemed like the Buckeyes, despite a defense that forced two key turnovers and defended the passing game well, were having a difficult time stopping the run, as Selvin Young and Jamaal Charles were carving up the field. Yet, Colt McCoy threw 32 passes and Texas seemed to move away from a discernable rhythm every time it almost happened upon one.

Smith and the Buckeye offensive line were also impressive, playing with composure and routinely making the Ohio State passing game a true weapon, not just a function of desperation.

Suddenly, I have a few questions about Texas, notably if it can consistently move the ball through the air, if it can reliably defend the pass while generating a pass rush with its front four, and whether Mack Brown is going to start being Mack Brown again. Of course, against most of its schedule, none of this will matter.

Oregon vs. Fresno State - First of all, I like the Oregon uniforms. That shade of green and the white are a sharp combination. Second, I really like Dennis Dixon, who doesn't make too many mistakes and really can whip the ball around. If Jaison Williams didn't drop some key passes, Oregon might not have been in such a tough fourth-quarter circumstance, relying on a trick-play field goal for a touchdown with the score tied at 24 with just 5 minutes left.

An area of concern for the Ducks was the rush defense, which surrendered 206 yards and has to deal with Adrian Peterson next weekend. But for now, consider me on the Ducks bandwagon given a better-than expected pass defense and an offense that looks balanced and well led by Dixon.

Auburn vs. Mississippi State - I didn't watch all of this game, but every time I turned it on, Mississippi State was getting its ass kicked by the Auburn defense. Auburn doesn't pwn the world in recruiting like USC, and it isn't a staple of the top five, but it just consistently develops guys who are fundamentally sound. An increasingly impressive program.

Arizona vs. LSU - Am I the only person who thinks that while it may not be a seductive display of aesthetic elegance, the Auburn-LSU game might be the best matchup of the season? I cannot wait for this game.

I also thought that with Tutumama and the Mind of Stoops defense, Arizona would be able to stay within two touchdowns. Maybe not so much...

Virginia Tech vs. North Carolina - North Carolina QB Joe Dailey was the most valuable Hokie.

Akron vs. NC State* - Chuck Amato, update your resume.

New Hampshire vs. Northwestern* - What happened? I hold my sister, a Wildcat, responsible.

Troy vs. Florida State* - This is an appeal to my BlogPoll brethren: Please do not vote Florida State into the top ten this week. While there are a paucity of teams with what appear to be so few questions that they should confine the Seminoles--owners of a strong defense and what might eventually seem like an impressive road win--to a poll position that begins with the number "2," Florida State has done little to distinguish itself as an elite team so far. The running game is pathetic, the offensive scheme appears to be clueless, and the 'Noles were two late interceptions away from being upset by Troy.