I can't take credit for the concept of this post; it comes from the mind of one of the site's leaders, who thought it might be humorous / cathartic / massochistic / instructive. So here's what I've done: I've waded through miles of Cleveland.com comments in search of the most representative of Cleveland Sports Fan Idiocy. Given the usual high quality and astute commenting, you'd think I'd be searching for needles in large, sprawling haystacks, but NO: It was actually rather easy to find stupid comments. I've compiled some of my favorite, along with a quick take on why they're included. Have fun, grab the popcorn, and prepare to break the nearest bottle and stab yourself with it.

From maxx46:

False hope with every victory. Blow a kiss to Lee too. He's gone come September.

My take: This just might be the dumbest of all the comments I've read. It implies that we'll hold Lee through this trading deadline, even though we're deteremined to trade him now, and... waive him in September? Trade him the moment the season ends? This is awesome.

From whaticee:

Talent evaluators of the draft have been way off for many years. Look it up. The last good pick was Victor Martinez. Sadly those bad draft picks are now in the majors. From an all star at every poistion to no all stars at any position

My take: I did look it up, douchebag. Victor was signed as an amateur free agent in 1996. But I admire your confidence in the face of facts; clearly we have no stars at any position at all. 

From dawginutah, regarding Jensen Lewis getting yanked after walking the first two batters of the ninth with a 7-run lead:

It sounds like the poor guy is on Wedgie's sh!t list. That means he will be treated like Brandon Phillips & others Wedge disliked or didn't respect. So add Lewis to the long list of players who will one day excell elsewhere cause this sounds like just the beginning of that kind of treatment for Jensen. And who's to say Wedge wasn't at fault for pitching him more than one inning? Even tho' it wasn't a close situation why not bring in Wood for the ninth?

My take: Wow.

From dogdale:

Garko

does anyone realize he's on pace (actually a tad ahead) to match last ears RBI total? 90 in 495 / 30 in 159.

Why doesn't he play everyday? his numbers scream that with consistent starts he excels. Oh I guess we don't want him driving in too many runs....

My take: Until dogdale pointed it out, I didn't realize that management was trying to prevent the team from scoring runs. I was under the impression that being third in the AL in runs scored was a sign that the lineup has been productive. Clearly the ills of this season would have been remedied by more Ryan Garko!

From LariSpitler, following the DeRosa trade:

I ask why we start trading away players 1 month plus before trading deadline. This is how negotiations work, the closer you get to the deadline the more desperate teams are to get their players. . .We on the other hand trade them a month earlier. Time for Shapiro and Wedge to go. 

My take: I included this one because there are literally dozens of commenters who think it's obvious that waiting until the deadline trumps trading now. One even called for Shapiro to die (that comment was thankfully removed). 

From tdawg69, following the DeRosa trade:

Unbelievable! The only reason they would do this so early is to save $$ on his salary....

RP Mujica 2.95 ERA
SP Sabathia 3.55 ERA 78K's
RP Julian Tavarez 3.65ERA

My take: Yes, saving one month of DeRosa's salary was the only reason to trade him. Sharp analysis. I also like my buddy 69's list of Mujica (the obviously dominant bullpen force whom we just refused to keep because of his big contract), Sabathia (the guy who was begging us to offer him a discount contract just so he could sign here for life), and Tavarez (WTFBBQ?!) This is roughly like saying, "It's worth paying more in cap-and-trade because BOAT, SAUCER, McRIB SANDWICH AM I RIGHT?

From bbcoach:

Well how long are the Dolan's going to wait to tell Shapiro to get rid of Wedge, Willis and Shelton. Hopefully soon. The pitchers are not pitching and are not in the game. The hitters have no clue but to try going for the fences all the time (how about hitting to the opposite field, it is called situational hitting) and when you make a minor league lineup out what do you expect against real major leaguers.

My take: Please tell me the "bb" in your name stands for "basketball."

From indians75959:

NOT SOWERS,HE HAS BEEN A STIFF AND ALWAYS WILL BE.PLEASE LARRY DOLAN, GIVE THIS 59 YEAR OLD GUY A CHANCE TO PITCH IN SOWERS PLACE? PLEASE, I CAN DO THE SAME IF NOT BETTER AND SAVE YOU A TON OF MONEY, ISN'T THAT WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT WITH YOU?

My take: Gotta love the all-caps approach. Sowers has been a letdown, but some fans on cleveland.com have accused Wedge and Shapiro of "lying" to fans when Sowers pitches, because they just know that sending Sowers out there is an effort to lose.

From fauxnuze:

Has the trend of when we have high expectatiouns = horrible team and low expectations = winners struck anyone yet? Whats up with that? High expectation cause WEDGE to CHOKE. Slow starts, choking down the stretch or worse (Boston)...I can imagine Wedges pregame comments. Hey guys, we HAVE to win THIS GAME! Someone has to hit a grand slam...whatever one says to totally freak someone. Dude is a minor league manager. That's all and thats it. He's prpoved it again and again

My take: I love the idea of Wedge running around frantically in the clubhouse shouting, "Someone has to hit a grandslam! Who's it going to be? Grady, GRAND SLAM! Start us off!"

From aebleone:

Hey, remember Ed Mujica who couldnt get anyone out for the Tribe? Well, he's pitched 32 innings for the Padres and has a 2.23 ERA and 30K's to only 9 BB's. Add him to the list of players such as Brandon Phillips,Jeremy Guthrie, and Ryan Ludwick that Wedge wasn't able to turn into Major League ballplayers but other teams have made into superstars! A couple more players on the Tribe's current roster heading that way include Josh Barfield and Trevor Crowe.

My take: Ed Mujica is a superstar! So is Guthrie! And Ludwick! And it's pretty easy to project that Barfield and Crowe will become superstars once the shackles of Wedge are removed.

From HardPanther:

The bullpen is absolute junk!
This is what Paul Dolan spent $81 mill on instead of keeping Millwood, CC and Bob Howry, back then.
Joe Smith was part of a Mets Bullpen that blew their division lead 2 years in a row. Why did Shapiro think that Smith would do any better here?

My take: The Indians have a magical hill of money that they just refuse to mine for studs such as Bob Howry.

Conclusions: Any time a team struggles, fans will be unhappy. That's fine. But the comments above are not exactly outliers in a sea of reasonable reaction. There is a deep, fundamental misunderstanding of how money works in this game. Jay and others have worked hard to elucidate the options that a team like Cleveland has when it comes to free agency, player retention, etc. And yet there remains a huge mountain to climb to help the average fan have even a basic understanding. 

I'm not Eric Wedge fan, but clearly fans are ascribing every problem with this team... Eh, what's the point? He's going to have to be fired, whether it's entirely fair or not. 

Finally, there is absolutely no appreciation for Choo, Shoppach, or even the strong seasons turned in for several years by Peralta. The fans are palpably angry at the team and management. READ THIS DOLAN

In order to get ready for game six, it's instructive to look at game five.

If you want to blast the Cavs for giving up big leads, they deserve equal credit for building big leads.

No Cavs fan wants to see a large lead erode, but that is the nature of pro basketball. Ebbs and flows are part of the game, and the Magic are a team that can stack massive piles of points together in a short time span. Turns out, the Cavs can do so as well.

We outscored Orlando 32-10 in the first 8 minutes. They outscored us by 30 (!) in the next 22 minutes. And we outscored them by 18 the rest of the way. If you want to whine about losing the lead, give this team the credit it deserves for going on significant runs of their own.

I love Barkley, but I have no idea what he was talking about.

The gameplan in the fourth quarter, according to Barkley, was to give it to LeBron at the top of the key and have him just improvise. That's easy to assume if you're only paying cursory attention, but there was one significant change -- nay, one significant adjustment at work here -- many of the possessions began with LeBron catching the ball with his back to the basket. For those of us who have been thirsting for such a scenario, we finally got it. And it paid off.

It's true that the offense moves much less and works more slowly in such a scenario, but three points about that: 1) It allows LeBron to back down smaller guards and get easier shots. 2) It obviously frees up other guards for wide open shots, which is hardly a problem. 3) I'm reasonably convinced it allows LeBron to rest. Seriously. He's not getting minutes off now, and he's understandably whipped. When he catches the ball at the top of the key or on the block, it's a moment to catch his breath. On one play, he caught the ball at the top of the circle, waited 13 seconds, and drained a jumper. Good result, bad possession, right? It's not ideal, granted, but if LeBron decides he's going to take a jumper, why not hold it, collect a breath, and shoot when he's settled? Guy needs to manufacture some kind of breather, and this offense doesn't seem to be nearly as grinding as Barkley makes it out to be. 

The TNT gang is also wrong about the need to foul Dwight Howard more often.

Kenny Smith and Reggie Miller went on and on about the need to hammer Howard every time he catches the ball. They are apparently unaware of the whole "six fouls and you're out" thing. It's new, of course.

Really, Z and Varejao both fouled out, and Andy has had 2 fouls in the first quarter in the past three games. If we adopt their plan, we'd lose our two best big men by the third quarter. The other option would be to play the weaker big men more often. I'd suggest getting Joe Smith more minutes, but he's so svelte that I'm not sure he could hammer Howard hard enough to stop him.

(Note: I'm not suggesting that we not foul Howard at all; I'm suggesting the the D against him has been appropriate the past several games).

As others have said: Varejao's flops aren't selling.

Andy played a nice game, but the days of multiple charges are seemingly over. And I can't blame the refs. I love Andy's hustle, but if I were a fan of an opposing team, he would drive me nuts. Can't cry wolf that often. But I think he gets this, and is adjusting.

Joe Smith should see a few more minutes.

Is he in the doghouse or something?

Let's get real about some things. Moreover, let's talk about actual facts, instead of inventing them. Facts do not oppose reality if we're thinking clearly.

First, there are some awesome Magic fans contributing here; they're courteous, passionate, and observant. It's cool to see, and if the Magic finish us off, we'll wish them well.

Second, there are rude, ignorant Magic fans polluting these boards. Sadly, some Cleveland fans have jumped on board with their "arguments." So the next time someone says something like the following, you'll know how to respond.

"The Magic just have more weapons than the Cavs and we saw it in game four."

Game four was one of the biggest outliers we could have possibly seen, for two main reasons: 3-point shooting and Rafer Alston. Game four did not demonstrate that the Magic is a better team; it demonstrated that occasionally a monkey can write Shakespeare.

Start with Alston. You probably know that he's not an all-star. But did you know that, in the past decade, he's one of the five worst shooters in the league with several hundred starts?

That's right. He's one of the *worst shooters in all of basketball.* He's not a "streak shooter," as some have said. Unless you count the streaks of paint he chips off the front and back iron. Not only that, but he's unsavvy enough on offense to take one shot every three minutes -- a hefty ratio for a dreadful shooter.

Fun fact: One of the closest statistical comparisons to Alston comes in the form of former Cav Larry Hughes. Cavs fans, did anyone think of Larry Hughes as a weapon? A streak shooter? An outside threat?

Alston's numbers:

Career: 38.6% FG, 35.4% 3P, 72.9% FT
2009 Playoffs, pre-Cavs: 38.6% FG, 33.3% 3P, 66.7% FT
This series: 44.6% FG, 43.4% 3P, 100% FT

This is THE GUY you want taking a ton of shots. Luckily, he's obliging. Sadly for us, he's caught the streak of his life.  This does not mean the Magic have better weapons.

"The Cavs' defense is obviously over-rated. Just look at this series!"

We've already discussed the outlier that is Alston. Now let's talk about Dwight Howard's free throws, which have gotten a lot of attention.

Season: 59.4%
Series vs. Boston: 54.3%
Series vs. Cleveland: 71.5%

For a guy averaging 10 free throws per game, that's a dramatic improvement. But would it have really made a difference?

Probably. In game three, which was a two-possession game inside the last two minutes, Howard would have connected on 3 fewer points if he simply matched his season average. In game four - and we all know how tight that was - he would have scored 2 fewer.

Now, how about Rashard Lewis, hottest shooter alive?

Season FG: 43.9%
Series FG: 55.5%
Season 3P: 39.7%
Series 3P: 57.8%

After game one it was clear we had to make adjustments. Did they work?

Game 2: 6-15 FGs
Game 3: 5-8 FGs
Game 4: 5-9 FGs

We smothered Lewis in game two with excellent rotational defense. Then something extraordinary happened: Take a look at his field goal attempts in games three and four.

Do you know the last time this season that Lewis played at least 40 minutes in a game and attempted fewer than 10 shots? Never. It did not happen.

Do you know the last time this season that Lewis attempted fewer than 10 shots in a "full" game? March 15th.

If you want to say that Mike Brown didn't make adjustments, I will have a hard time believing you.

I found myself scratching my head at this exchange (watch the video) between a reporter -- not Paul Hoynes -- and Ryan Garko:

Reporter: "When you look back at last year, do you see any big difference adjustment (sic) that you made post-All Star break versus before?"

Garko: "Yeah, yeah. I went home at the All-Star break and kind of watched a lot of film, and I just saw a couple -- mechanically I had too much movement, a little bit of a push. I kind of just worked myself out of it, did everything I could to get rid of that. And I really worked hard on it this offseason, so hopefully it'll just go away."

I am not a scout, but even still, I'm not sure what the heck he's talking about. But the bigger problem, I thought, was that this reporter has swallowed the idea that Garko came out and busted loose after the All-Star break. He figured it out! It makes for an easy story.

Readers of LGT and the Annual know that this simply isn't true. However, I recall reading comments around here that Garko went nuts over the last two weeks against junk pitching (wish I could find a link to those comments, but that's the idea I've gotten). So I spent this morning digging through the numbers to figure out what was fact and what was fiction. My apologies if this has all been done before in detail.

CLAIM: Ryan Garko figured things out at the All-Star break and came out a different player.

VERDICT: Fiction. Garko posted a .715 OPS in July after the break, His OPS rose to .770 in August but his SLG remained right at .400. And for the first two weeks of September, Garko posted on OPS of .601 in 32 at bats without a single extra base hit (he seems to go long stretches without driving the ball a lick).

So, from the first game back after the break until mid-September, Garko posted an OPS of .697.

Then, in his final 12 games, Garko slugged .878, posted an OBP of .533, and raised his season OPS 59 points. (!)

CLAIM: Ryan Garko feasted on September call-ups and junk pitchers down the stretch.

VERDICT: Fiction, and this surprised me. Starters over the final 12 included Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, John Danks, Mark Buerhle, Justin Verlander, Francisco Liriano, The Cobra, Dontrelle Willis, Brian Bannister, and Robinson Tejeda. Only Tejeda has not been a major league regular.

Those starters compiled a combined ERA of 4.30 with a combined WHIP of 1.33. That's hardly bottom-of-the-barrel stuff. Garko was mashing against a strong group of starters (though some were certainly having down years), and several teams were in the playoff hunt.

CLAIM: Ryan Garko worked all throughout the second half to get rid of that "little push," and he finally did so in mid-September. Now it's championship time!

VERDICT: Who the heck knows. I have to doubt it. But at least his hot stretch run came against legit opponents, and regardless, he's not likely to have long to get into the groove in 2009.

**My apologies for this post, which is purely cathartic and selfish on my part. I am feeling strangely emotional and proud. I will not do this every day.

He's fortunate to enjoy good health today. He certainly shouldn't be playing two 7-inning games a day in Cleveland Indians Fantasy Camp. My father had a devastating stroke when I was 12; doctors were stunned when he demonstrated some muscle memory in the later months. He felt strong until age 61, when heart problems forced him onto beta blockers and made us all a little nervous.

So why the hell not? Why not, at 64, go to Fantasy Camp in Goodyear? What's the worst that could happen? My father was, after all, a pretty studly athlete back in the day. The Pittsburgh Pirates invited him to camp as a southpaw starter after he backed up his 84-mph heat with a lot of wicked junk at Miami Ohio. Sure, he never even played a minor league game, but dude could ball.

Needless to say I've been puking with consternation for about five months. He's been tossing, then throwing, then pitching. He's been hitting in 80-mph cages. All he wanted to do was pitch one game and deliver one solid single. The rest would be gravy. But I've been worried his heart would give him trouble, or he'd pull a muscle on the first play. It's a sick kind of role reversal.

He called tonight to recap the first of four straight double-headers.

"I'm Oh-For-Goodyear," he said. "My arm is dead. I can not throw a baseball thirty feet."

There was dead silence on the line as I searched for the right words. Finally I asked, "What position did you play?"

"I caught," he said. Then he laughed. "My managers were thrilled I can catch. You remember Brook Jacoby and Jeff Manto."

The Indians had found my father a left-handed catcher's mitt and he spent the day rolling the ball back to the mound. As he relayed this story I died inside a little. The best trainers in baseball are there and they can not give life to his arm. They've told him he's badly damaged his ulnar nerve. He will not pitch this week.

I was scared to ask how he performed in the batter's box. He answered with the raw excitement of a child.

"It was fantastic. I started off with a weak groundball to first because I was way out in front of a 75 mile-per-hour fastball." He paused and laughed with some satisfaction. "If I had an arm I could pitch circles around these guys."

I smiled and fought back my first tear.

"I struck out a couple times and then got hot. I hit two line drives right to second base. Real atom balls. My last at bat we were down two with two on, and I hit the first pitch a mile to right field. I thought it was an easy double, even for me. But the right fielder was playing on the warning track and he actually had to come IN one step to catch it."

I laughed with him. "That guy had no business playing that deep with you in the box."

"None! But what a day. I said hello to Pat Tabler for you. He looks exactly the same."

"Blonde permed mullet?"

"Well, no mullet. On my last hit, Cory Snyder jumped up and yelled, 'Good wood!' That was pretty cool."

Joe Azcue is helping my father with catching drills for the week. He's spent time with Max Alvis, Bob Feller, Mike Hargrove, Len Barker, Scott Bailes, and Dave Burba. Oh, and Rick Manning. He confirmed that Rick Manning does indeed love him some Rick Manning. But the organization is filled with class, the full panoply of which is on display in Goodyear.

Every one of the six fields carries the exact dimensions of Progressive Field. The 68-degree sunshine feels like baseball heaven. But as I laughed I couldn't help but wish so badly that my father's arm would quiet down for one game. One inning, even. He has worked so hard -- not to impress the young hotshots, but to find out if the glories of youth can still manifest in the autumn of his life.

He skipped the early dinner to take a 55-degree ice bath. I asked how he was feeling.

"So good. And also like I've been in a 10-hour fight, and I didn't fare so well. I can't wait to get up tomorrow."

My 64-year old father leaves on Saturday for Indians Fantasy Camp in Arizona. Naturally, I'm a bit concerned that he'll pull his hammy on the first sprint.

Does anyone have a relative or friend who has been to camp? Or, perhaps you've been to fantasy camp yourself.

I'm proud of my dad. He's had some health issues in the past several years and this has been on his bucket list. He was drafted by the Pittsburgh Pirates as a southpaw pitcher out of college but went overseas to serve and never played. He's worked his tail off to get into shape. I've hit the batting cages with him and I've watched him get the old hook back. But he'll be the oldest player on the field.

I'm worrying like he's MY son. I hope someone will talk me off the ledge.

"Um, Mark, does it suck to just let another awesome player walk away?"

"Mark, did you think about trying to trade for Thome or Manny or Sexson or Albert Belle?"

"Hi Mark, Paul Hoynes here.  Have you seen my wallet?  I can't find the damn thing."

Yep, it's dreadful.  It's practically soul-crushing to try to endure garbage like that.  And we know that Paul and Sheldon are going to ask the lowest-common-demoronator questions, but who let Kevin Keane in?  Is this a big practical joke or something?

"Mark, why don't you just trade Grady now, cause obviously you hate Cleveland fans, right?"

During the press conference thread, several posters debated the idea of trying to get credentialed for that kind of event.  I'd say it's easier than most people realize, but there are longer-term effects to consider.

First, creativity can help if you really want to get in.  I wanted to ask Bruce Arena some questions during the World Cup qualifying run in 2001 so I fudged my way into the press room.  Ended up as the only American asking questions in Spanish to Mexico's manager.  Heh.

But I'd guess that the Tribe runs a little tighter ship.  So if you wanted to get in, you'd have to establish a long-term media interest.  And that would bring us back to whether we even want LGT to become that kind of outfit.

Jay has, of course, addressed this issue before.  LGT is a very different animal, and I give Jay some credit for sort-of defending the Sheldons of the world (though he and I disagree to some extent; I'm much more demanding, deadlines or not).  But I think it's likely that if the LGT community -- more specifically, Jay and Ryan -- decided they truly wanted to become part of the credentialed media for events like this, they could do it.  But once that first credential arrives, things change.  Expectations change for the site, and the role of the site changes.

The real solution to the credentialed press' shenanigans is probably not to alter the nature of sites like LGT (though I'm open to the idea, and I've already advocated for traditional media to cut new trails by hiring the best bloggers).  But the easiest way to get better questions is for the traditional media to perceive a problem and make changes.  That doesn't happen, though, unless there is a considerably large outcry, and we all know that the bottom feeders at cleveland.com aren't upset with Hoynes, they're upset with Shapiro and Dolan.

Bottom line, I guess, is that while it sucks, it's not likely to change.  And even if you wanted to elbow your way in on behalf of LGT, you'd have to be willing to see some real changes here first.

"Last question, Mark.  Why trade for a guy who isn't PROVEN to be an All-Star?  You're trading a Cy Young!  You have to get PROVEN RESULTS THAT CAN BE, LIKE, PROVEN!  I'M BILL LIVINGSTON AND I AM SO PISSED!"