SB Nation User Blog: tasser10

Little Miss Tasser10!

tasser10 — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 22:42:15 -0000

Hello fellow Bruins!

Well, I am finally getting on to the site after a few days. Little Miss Tasser was born on Saturday, the Fourth of July, all 7lbs 5oz of her! She will very soon be indoctrinated in the Bruin way! I wish I could post pictures, but Mrs. Tasser has some kind of internet paranoia that prevents me from doing so. I can only tell you that her name starts with an "S" and ends in "ophia".

I look forward to watching a few UCLA football and basketball games with her! As soon as I get more than 35 consecutive minutes of sleep. Speaking of sleep, does anyone here need a king size bed? We're selling ours...we don't seem to use it anymore...

Take care and I will be back to offer my oh so insightful and conspiracy-minded comments soon!

Ed and Charles O'Bannon, on camera again

tasser10 — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:33:53 -0000

Ed and Charles O'Bannon, on camera again

Kris Johnson is interviewing. Couple of pretty funny lines by Ed!

UCLA men's tennis player Jake Fleming in coma

tasser10 — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 17:08:45 -0000

UCLA men's tennis player Jake Fleming in coma

Wishing Jake a full recovery, our thoughts are with you and your family.

U$C* reveals top 2 basketball coach candidates

tasser10 — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 16:27:37 -0000

After scouring the nation in search of a savior for their basketball program, U$C* decided it would be best to keep it in the trOJan family. They will have a tough time picking between these two highly qualified candidates for the head coaching position:

Will they go with the prodigal son who knows how to recruit and build a program

or will they go with the fighter with playing experience?

Sports fans await anxiously.

It's all on the OL

tasser10 — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 18:28:18 -0000

It's all on the OL

We've covered this at length, but it seems to be a key point (see link for the WSJ article in the post as well).

Adam Maya is a clown

tasser10 — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:09:33 -0000

If any of you ever had a doubt about who owns (literally and figuratively) the newspapers in SoCal, just look at this installment from Adam Maya in the OC Register. I will not link to it because I don't want him to get more traffic, I am sure you can figure out how to find it if you want to comment on his latest ass-clownery.

The title of his latest gem is "36 Trojan Football Players Who Could Start For UCLA".

What prompted this worthless garbage? An article from TWO MONTHS AGO, also in the OC Register, about Ten Bruins who could start for U$C.

Why does Adam feel the need to come to his team's defense? Everyone knows that U$C has stockpiled talent over the last few years. It's really not news if they could start at UCLA (dog bites man), but the fact that UCLA is getting more players who could play at U$C is a bit more newsworthy (man bites dog), isn't it? Those U$C players could probably start at a bunch of other schools (which makes you wonder why they're trOJies...$$$$). Getting pretty desperate with these articles, eh?

It's just that Adam forgets a major point, clearly illustrated by our own CRN: we could have gotten a lot more of U$C's recruits...if they could read or write.

Pretty soon, these players will realize what everyone else knows: that Cheatie recruits them so that they won't go to other schools...he has no interest in their future. And they'll start going to other teams.

Enjoy it while it lasts, Adam...hope you'll be wearing a helmet when the hammer falls.

Pete Carroll pimps out his players?

tasser10 — Wed, 27 May 2009 17:18:25 -0000

Pete Carroll pimps out his players?

I guess we had it wrong...they don't just pay their players just to play football...there's a marketing angle to it!

Petey gets called out!

tasser10 — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 18:19:12 -0000

Petey gets called out!

You gotta love it...U$C gets 11 players drafted to the NFL, and all it does is show how much Petey has underachieved! The Stanford game in the FanShot below is but one example...

Pete Carroll's Guide to Success

tasser10 — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 18:04:29 -0000

Bumped. Go Bruins. - M

Pete Carroll is eager to share his wisdom with you. He believes that the "philosophy" behind the trOJies' success in football can translate into the business world, so he is writing a book to share his thoughts. Here is a sampling of the various chapters:

- I. Character: always have one by your side

- II. Don't fight the law, OWN it!

- III. Regulations are for losers!

- IV. Be a Humanitarian: stand behind your criminal star

- V. Loyalty: the gift that you should keep on taking

- VI. A poodle a day keeps the media away

The centerpiece of the book will be, of course, Petey's Pyramid of Suck-cess:

It's already gotten pretty good reviews apparently, and there will be special sections written by guest writers:

- "Pete uses creativity in his football schemes, and it is an essential trait in the business world as well." Kenneth Lay, ex-CEO of Enron

- "When Pete is winning football games, he keeps his foot on the gas pedal. In finance, you must strike when the iron it hot." Richard Fuld, ex-Chairman of Lehman Brothers

- "Pete is a genius at recruiting talent, which is not much different than attracting capital." Bernie Madoff, ex-Chairman of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC

- "Pete knows how to get the best from you and is never shy about letting you take credit for his ideas." Michael Michaels, sports agent

Full Disclosure for Cheatey Petey's Comically Challenged Lawyers: this is a joke. Carroll writing a business book, however, is not.

UCLA in the NBA - Season stats

tasser10 — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:52:06 -0000

Here is the final installment of our Bruins' stats in the NBA. Overall, the averages are below the league averages, though obviously there are some standouts. Only 4 of our boys will be in the playoffs, (Farmar, Ariza, Afflalo and Hollins).

2008-2009				FG			3PT			FT			Rebs	Misc
Player	Team	G	Min	M	A	Pct	M	A	Pct	M	A	Pct	Tot	Ast	TO	Stl	Blk	PF	PPG
Jordan Farmar	LAL	65	18:18	2.5	6.3	39.1	0.8	2.3	33.6	0.7	1.2	58.4	1.8	2.4	1.3	0.9	0.2	1.6	6.4
Trevor Ariza	LAL	82	24:23	3.3	7.3	46.0	0.7	2.3	31.9	1.5	2.1	71.0	4.3	1.8	1.1	1.7	0.3	2.0	8.9
Baron Davis	LAC	66	34:36	5.5	14.8	37.0	1.5	5.1	30.2	2.5	3.2	75.7	3.7	7.7	3.0	1.7	0.5	3.0	14.9
Matt Barnes	PHO	77	27:00	3.7	8.8	42.3	1.5	4.4	34.3	1.3	1.8	74.3	5.5	2.8	1.7	0.7	0.3	2.7	10.2
Russell Westbrook	OKC	82	32:30	5.3	13.4	39.8	0.4	1.6	27.1	4.3	5.2	81.5	4.9	5.3	3.3	1.3	0.2	2.3	15.3
Earl Watson	OKC	68	26:06	2.6	6.7	38.4	0.3	1.3	23.5	1.2	1.6	75.5	2.7	5.8	2.3	0.7	0.2	2.0	6.6
LRMAM	MIL	82	25:48	2.8	6.0	46.2	0.0	0.1	0.0	1.7	2.3	72.9	5.9	1.1	1.2	1.1	0.6	2.5	7.2
Dan Gadzuric	MIL	67	14:00	1.8	3.6	48.0	0.0	0.0	0.0	0.6	1.0	54.4	3.8	0.6	0.6	0.5	0.6	2.4	4.0
Kevin Love	MIN	81	25:18	3.9	8.5	45.9	0.0	0.2	10.5	3.3	4.2	78.9	9.1	1.0	1.5	0.4	0.6	2.5	11.1
Jason Kapono	TOR	80	22:53	3.3	7.6	43.2	1.2	2.9	42.8	0.4	0.5	81.0	2.0	1.3	0.9	0.3	0.0	1.8	8.2
Ryan Hollins	CHA	18	10:11	1.1	1.9	54.3	0.0	0.0	0.0	1.4	2.2	66.7	2.0	0.2	0.6	0.2	0.9	1.9	3.6
	DAL	27	09:35	1.2	2.2	52.5	0.0	0.0	0.0	0.6	1.2	51.5	1.0	0.1	0.5	0.2	0.6	1.6	2.9
Arron Afflalo	DET	74	16:41	1.8	4.1	43.7	0.6	1.5	40.2	0.8	1.0	81.7	1.8	0.6	0.6	0.4	0.2	2.0	4.9
UCLA	NBA	869	23:42	3.2	7.6	43.4	0.6	1.8	23.6	1.7	2.2	72.8	4.1	2.6	1.5	0.8	0.4	2.2	8.7