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tehGrindCrusher

May 12, 2008 May 12, 2012 71 10235

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Battle Red Blog Thank You, Arian Foster

Rivers' exquisitely crafted note of gratitude to Wade Phillips gave us an idea. For the next several days, we'll periodically be posting entries thanking various people who had a hand in making the Texans' 2011 season as enjoyable as it was. The season's over, which blows, but there's a lot to appreciate, and it's a loooooong offseason, so let's do take a minute to say thank you.

Arian,

I know you're probably pretty tired from the long and grueling season you just finished, and I sure hope you're taking some well-deserved rest. In honor of the Texans' first ever playoff season, the BRB staff has decided to take turns thanking someone associated with the season. You know, just to let them know how much we appreciate them.

When it was my turn to choose someone to thank, I chose you. Seemed like a natural choice, after all, since you've been such a big part of the Texans' success this year (and one of the few bright spots last year).

Problem was, I had a hard time figuring out exactly what to thank you for. I mean, what single thing that you did this season was so awesome that it needed thanks? There are many reasons out there for thanking you. After the jump, I'm going to list them.

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91 comments  |  10 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Pride: (Bleary-Eyed) Thoughts On A Playoff Win

I'm a man!  I spell M, A child, N.

I generally don't have a lot of use for pride as an emotion. At least not pride in my own accomplishments. All it does is get in the way of fulfilling your objectives. You let your head swell with pride and the next thing you know you're living on the faded glory of past achievement. And who needs that?

Pride in other people's accomplishments, on the other hand, is (to me, anyway) more palatable. My sons took a few extra minutes to be nice to a new kid on the school bus a few days ago. I'm proud of them for that. My wife managed to parallel park the car in under five minutes last week. Super proud.

And so it goes without saying that, among the many positive emotions I felt this morning (yes, my watching the Texans involved getting up at 3:45 this morning) was pride. And not just in the Texans. Let's talk more about this after the jump.

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69 comments  |  19 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Thoughts On The Playoffs

I first started posting on BRB in May 2008. The community was a lot smaller in those days, but the insight, wit and self-deprecation that have been hallmarks of this blog have remained intact despite the community continuing to grow. One of my favorite comments from the early days was the time that I announced, with about six or seven minutes left in the game, that the Texans were going to beat the Colts. Minutes later the Rosencopter happened and I nearly slit my wrists.

Ahh, the good old days.

Now we find ourselves on the doorstep of something that will never happen again: our first playoff game. Win, and we will have the exact same number of playoff victories in our history as the Cowboys have in the same time period. Lose, and we're still not owned by Jerry Jones. In some ways, we've already won.

I know that you are all unbelievably pumped to watch the game this weekend. So am I. It's unfortunate that I have to watch this alone and can't share this experience with my fellow Houstonians, but that doesn't mean that I won't be rooting like hell for the Texans to win this weekend. It reminds me of the 2002 World Cup, which took place when I was living in the Caribbean. I woke up at some godawful time (I think it was 2:00 a.m.) to watch the U.S. play Portugal, and it was the hardest thing ever not to wake up my entire apartment complex when the U.S. won. That's going to be me this weekend.

I was going to try to write some kind of inspirational post for the occasion, but Vega beat me to it. If you haven't read his masterpiece, please do. It pretty much sums everything up and, if you weren't ready to run through a brick wall before, you will be after you read it. Like some of my fellow BRB writers, I have my playoff-related thoughts as well. Stick with me through the jump and I will share them with you.

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312 comments  |  22 recs | 

Battle Red Blog The All-Purpose Playoff De-Lurking Thread, Or: Let's Get To Know One Another A Little Better

Hi there. May I say that you look marvelous?

Long time ago, before Tim elevated me to the masthead, I put up this FanPost as a way to get members of our growing fanbase better-acquainted with one another. Since that time, a lot has changed. The Texans have broken our hearts repeatedly, and in ever-increasingly soul-destroying ways. They've become successful and are now enjoying their first-ever playoff berth. And the BRB readership has continued to grow. Under the leadership of Tim, the masthead has changed a lot as well, adding a whole crew of writers as good as any on any blog of any kind anywhere. I definitely feel like the Laettner on this Dream Team.

Over at BRB-central we noticed that, inspired by the Texans' playoff run and Vega's remarkable bit of writing, quite a few lurkers have come out and declared their undying love for all things Texan. We think this is great and want to encourage it. Therefore, I have been commissioned to draft the latest version of the introduction thread. Interest in things Texan is at an all-time high, and we want to bring as many new members into the fold as possible. If you're a regular, occasional or first-time lurker, consider this your chance to proudly announce or re-announce yourself to the world. You are welcome here.

I'll go first after the jump.

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483 comments  |  4 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Thoughts on (Another) Loss, Gary Kubiak, and Officials

Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Pretend for a moment that you are a heavy smoker. You have tried to quit several times over the years but you just can't shake the habit. One day you go to the doctor and you get some bad news: you have lung cancer. The doctor tells you that they can save you, but they have to take out a lung. Naturally, you agree to this. You go to the hospital for the operation. They put you under and perform the surgery. When you wake up, however, the surgeon tells you that they have mistakenly taken out the wrong lung (don't laugh - it has happened before).

Naturally, you are shocked, and more than a little bit concerned because the doctor accidentally took out your good lung, leaving you with the cancerous one to keep you breathing. You weigh your options and decide to pursue a malpractice lawsuit. You go to court and explain what happened. The surgeon's defense? He says, Well, you should have known better than to smoke in the first place.

This is the best analogy I can find for the last Texans game. Want to find out why? Follow me across the jump... if you dare.

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127 comments  |  5 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Thoughts On A Loss, And On Bob McNair

Here is the rule to remember in the future, When anything tempts you to be bitter: not, "This is a misfortune" but "To bear this worthily is good fortune."

I will admit up front that I don't follow the gameday threads. Not, gentle readers, because I dislike you. And not, I wish to assure our corporate overlords, because I dislike our wonderful sponsors, without whom, yours truly Ashton Kutcher could not reap the rewards of SB Nation's largesse. No, the reason that I don't follow the gameday threads is that I watch my Texans via an internet stream (NFL GamePass, if you're wondering) which usually follows reality by about thirty seconds. Following the gameday threads, then, is like following a three-and-a-half hour spoiler. Not really worth it.

The unfortunate part about that is that I actually enjoy much of the instantaneous discussion and banter that goes back and forth on the threads. I really like the spontaneity, and when you are surrounded by wits such as the usual cast of characters around here, you can create a lot of fun. On the other hand, the gameday threads tend to become an exercise in hand-wringing and collective self-flogging that can bring a brother down from time to time. And who needs that when NFL games are already as cathartic as a Sophoclean tragedy?

The one advantage about this is that I can watch the games with a little more detachment. When Arian Foster fumbles on the first play from scrimmage, I get upset, but it is a lot easier to keep my emotions in check, especially since I watch games at home with no one else around. As a massively extraverted individual, I get energized in the presence of others, so watching games with people is often a bad idea, especially if we're losing, because I tend to lose control of my emotions. In essence, what I'm trying to say is that, because of the way I watch games, I feel like I can look at any given Texans game from a bit more of a neutral perspective than I otherwise might, considering I'm a total tragic when it comes to fandom.

So, with that in mind, why don't you all hit the jump for some perspective on the loss?

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95 comments  |  17 recs | 

Battle Red Blog BREAKING NEWS: Matt Schaub to IR, Texans Sign Kellen Clemens

Well, Texans fans, much like the news that the guy your girlfriend has been hanging out with all the time who she swears is "just a friend" is actually taking dirty liberties with her while you're at work, we now have confirmation that what we suspected regarding Matt Schaub all along is true.  He is banging your girlfriend.  Per your friendly four-letter network, your Houston Texans have officially put Matt Schaub on the IR.  To fill the void left by Schaub, the Texans have signed former Jet/Redskin Kellen Clemens to fill the roster spot.

Obviously, this isn't exactly a surprise.  Even if Schaub could somehow be healthy by the time the playoffs rolled around, he would be very rusty at exactly the time the team would need him to be sharp.  It sucks for Schaub, whom discerning readers might recall was a somewhat controversial pick-up when the Texans flipped first round picks and sent two second rounders to the Falcons to pick him up.  Now that he is at the helm of a team that is set to make a big run, he gets hurt.  As with the Mario Williams injury, it is a reminder of the cruelty of fate.

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139 comments  |  1 recs | 

Battle Red Blog The Bandwagon Revisited

You should have seen her in high school.

It wasn't that long ago that I drafted a post entitled Welcome to the Bandwagon.  The premise was that, because the Texans were finally looking like a winning team, (yeah, wow) the team would be attracting legions of new fans, many finding their way to this humble corner of the blogosphere.  Turns out that that post was a wee bit premature, to say the least.  We did draw some new fans, but I bet quite a few of them lacked the stomach for the drunken shopping cart ride that lay ahead and promptly abandoned ship.  

Nowadays, however, things are different.  We are better.  We are jinx-proof.  And we are about to be a playoff team.  

Which means more bandwagon fans.  After the jump, here are my thoughts on how we can be welcoming to our new cohorts.  Let's make like Wee Man and jump, shall we?

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138 comments  |  7 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Bacon, Bud Light and Vampires, or My Midseason Review of the Texans

Run to the bacon, Arian.

In some ways, it feels like an eternity since the season started all those (eight) weeks ago in Reliant.  And yet, in other ways it seems like the season only started yesterday.  This amazing compression of time is among both the best and the worst things about the circus that is the NFL.  We wait an eternity for the off- and preseason to end so that we can watch our team play real games, and then we wait what feels like an even longer time in between Sundays, micro-analyzing every single thing that happens during games while waiting for the following Sunday to shine on us and give another week's worth of fodder.  And yet, in hindsight, it seems like the season finishes in the blink of an eye.  Even last season, which seemed never-ending once the Texans turned on the fountain of suck, flew by in retrospect.  

So here we are, with half of our regular season games behind us.  Now is as good a time as any to take stock of what the Texans have accomplished, what they've done well, and what they've done poorly.  With that in mind, I'm going to take you all on a perilous journey through the last eight weeks and maybe we can find some clues about the riddle that is your Houston Texans' 2011 campaign.  So what are you waiting for?  Let's make like Dan Osman and hit the jump!

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232 comments  |  6 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Hello, My Name Is tehGrindCrusher, And I Like To Do Drawrings! Your Contribution Wanted!

Football is a violent sport.  But that doesn't mean that there is no art in football.  Why, not so long ago, MDCelo provided us with a glimpse into his artistic abilities with this spot-on Dada-ist reimagination of ESPN talking head Stuart Scott.  

Stu_scott_medium

via assets.sbnation.com

If Warhol taught us anything, it's that anything can be art, from a can of tomato soup to a ham of a TV personality.  With that in mind, I thought I'd scour the internets (or maybe the darkest corners of my twisted mind) to come up with some more examples of Texans or NFL-related art.  Let's hit the jump and browse through the gallery, shall we?

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22 comments  |  14 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Eww, Somebody Has An Inflection (Point)

Hey, Kerry.  Pull my finger.

With 12:45 left in the fourth quarter, the Texans clung onto a three point lead against the Dolphins.  The team hadn't executed particularly well in the red zone throughout the game, settling for two chip shot field goals early in the game.  Had the Texans punched it in during either or both of their early trips to the red zone, the game may have already been over for all intents and purposes.  However, this was not the case and the Texans faced an inflection point.  

With basically a full quarter to play and only three points separating the teams, the game was essentially a toss up.  What happened next was a good indicator of just how much the team has improved since last year.  Want to walk hand-in-hand with me while we break down what happened?  Awesome.  Let's do like Cyril Raffaeli and flip across the jump.

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101 comments  |  5 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Football - Our Passion

We live in cynical times.  We live in dangerous times.  Normally we don’t talk about world events inside the bubble of BRB, and that suits me just fine.  I don’t need to puncture that bubble because this summer, forces beyond our control punctured that bubble for us.  In the past, no matter what we’ve had in our lives to put up with, we’ve always had the Texans and the NFL.  This year, it looked for a while that we might not have that.  Sure, we didn’t actually lose the season, and that’s fantastic.  For a time, though, it seemed like a real possibility.  

A long time ago, before I joined the BRB staff, I wrote a piece about how awesome the start of the football season was.  You can read a slightly updated version of it here.  I think all of that stuff still applies.  Football still is an amazing game, a journey from summer to winter, from the sickly-sweet heat of the Southeast in August to the bitter steel of frozen Northern gridiron in January.  It begins with hope and promise and ends, like my attempts at getting a date for the prom, in bitter disappointment for all but one team.  We hope that team will be the Texans.

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62 comments  |  5 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Something To Be Hopeful About--Offense Edition

Now, I know what you're thinking.  It's probably something along the lines of, "What?  Our offense needs something to be hopeful about?  Do you really agree with that weirdo who said that losing Vonta Leach was going to hurt the Texans' offense?"  

Most likely, actually, you're probably thinking something like, "Man, is there anything that isn't improved by adding bacon?"

But I digress.

One of the less-frustrating (but still frustrating) things about the Texans' season last year was the seeming ineffectiveness of the play action attack.  It seemed to take a step backwards after being fairly effective in 2009.  How many times did we see Matt Schaub fake a handoff to a running back, roll out on a naked bootleg with acres of space and have to wait and eventually throw it away because nobody was open?  While I haven't gone back and counted, the number of times this happened was higher than it ought to have been, considering the effectiveness of Arian Foster.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that our play action was more effective in 2009 when we had virtually no running game for much of the season than it was in 2010.  However, there is cause for optimism.  While preseason results are not good for forecasting how a team is going to perform in the upcoming year, I do believe that we can look at individual processes and use them as a barometer for specific parts of a team's performance.  In other words, a team's preseason win-loss record is meaningless as a forecasting tool, but if a team is successful or not in certain specific areas, I think it is fair to look at those things by themselves and make an educated guess about how well they might do these same things in the regular season.

To give you some specific examples, I would say that preseason performance will tell us a lot about our how well our defense pressures opposing quarterbacks, how poorly our special teams covers and how well we use play action.  We've talked a lot about the first two things, but I haven't seen too much discussion on the third item--play action.

Want to find out more?  Then make like Jeb Corliss and take a massive, insane jump with me.

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12 comments  |  1 recs | 

Battle Red Blog The Cushing Conundrum

I think we can all agree that a lot of electrons have been spent discussing the qualities of our defensive linemen and outside linebackers.  Let's be honest here: outside of Shaun Cody, we have the makings of a stellar set of players in these positions.  I'm not going to go on about them because I think we've all seen them in action and discussed them enough, although I reserve the right to make the occasional comment about them anyway.

What I'm going to do is pivot off of MDC's post about Cody and look at someone who will be a big piece of the puzzle, none other than Mr. BRAIN CRUSHING.  As noted before, one of the main areas to attack a Wade Phillips defense is the zone behind the NT.  Considering that our starting NT as of right now is Shaun Cody, our ILBs are going to have to work very hard to make sure that the opposing team doesn't gash us to death with draws, screens and plain old power runs up the middle.  

This puts a lot of responsibility in the hands of DeMeco Ryans, Xavier Adibi, Darryl Sharpton and Brian Cushing.  There are question marks surrounding all of these guys.  Can Ryans return to his pre-injury form?  Can Sharpton improve upon his solid rookie season?  Can Adibi play at something higher than a DIII level?  

To answer some questions about Cushing, I decided to review every play he made in the Niners game and see if I could project how he would play in the upcoming season.  I figured that since the third preseason game is the one that most closely resembles a regular season game, I was most likely to see Cushing play the way he would against Indy on September 11.  

The results, after you guys make like Sebastien Foucan and jump with me. (But first, seriously, click on that link.  It's sick.)

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107 comments  |  10 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Thinking About A Rookie Wage Scale

This is a real time demonstration of the current NFL rookie wage structure.

You've all no doubt read that there has been some positive movement of late on the new Collective Bargaining Agreement.  Obviously we all hope that the two sides will come to an agreement soon so that the business of the season can start.  There are a lot of unknowns right now, but let's assume for one moment that a new CBA will happen.  

One thing that seems fairly certain to happen, based on all the reporting I've read as part of a new agreement, is a rookie wage scale.  This could have a profound impact on how teams look at the draft.  Of course, we won't really know how draft strategy will change until we have a few post-CBA drafts under our belt.  But hey, it's the offseason, and a particularly slow one at that.  Why not pass the time engaged in idle guessing games about things that may not come to pass? 

With that in mind, why don't you all get on your toes and hop with me across the jump?  Mindless speculation awaits!

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26 comments  |  12 recs | 

Battle Red Blog How I Spent My Offseason, By Roger Goodell

I have the dreams every night.  The strange thing is, the things I remember the most vividly are the small details.  Like what we ate: Ramen Noodles.  Every time I see someone eating Ramen Noodles, it reminds me of my dreams in the weirdest ways.  I don't want to admit this, but I even went to a psychologist about my dreams.  They were that weird.  And once I saw the headshrinker, my dreams just got stranger and stranger.

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11 comments  |  9 recs | 

Battle Red Blog How I Spent My Offseason, by Roc Carmichael

Heidegger was a moron.  Simple as that.  I'm not just talking about his affiliations with National Socialism, although there is plenty of room for agreement on that simple premise.  That's not enough, however, for me to classify him as a moron.  A lot of otherwise intelligent people got roped into that particular scam, so I'm not going to give him demerits for that.

But Heidegger was still a moron.  How could one read Being and Time and come up with the opposite conclusion?  Even the most perfunctory treatment must lead the reader to this judgment.  I mean, even Husserl noted that the creation of the concept of dasein was primarily a distraction from the essential challenge posed by phenomenology and not much more than a glorified exercise in philosophical anthropology.  And don't get me started on the neo-Kantian critique.  It's just too trenchant to get into here.

I'm sure you're asking yourself, "What the hell is Carmichael talking about?"  Believe me, before the draft I wouldn't have been able to read the passages above, much less interpret them in light of the struggle to place human existence and consciousness in context with one another.  But a funny thing happened after the draft.  Once the Texans picked me, I realized I needed to get better to have a chance to compete.  Also, I got a call from Kareem Jackson.  He's tired of being Cushing's glory-hole partner and wanted to fob the job off on someone else.  I figured I needed to get smart in a hurry if I was going to convince Harris to do it.

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89 comments  |  11 recs | 

Advantage: players. A nice rundown from the best author that I've read on this issue, even if he writes for the four-letter.

about 1 year ago Alec-baldwin-glengarry-glen-ross-always-be-closing_tiny tehGrindCrusher 0 comments

Podium Cafe Tour of Qatar Pics

One of the nice things about being a sports fan in Qatar is that the Qataris pay a lot of money for big-time sporting events that fairly few people attend.  This means that the athletes have their guards down around the fans since they're not really swarmed.  Since I moved here I've brushed shoulders with Lee Westwood on his way from the 9th to the 10th tees at the Qatar Masters golf tournament, sat five feet away from Greg Gaultier and Karim Darwish during the Doha Classic squash tournament, sat fifteen feet away from Serena Williams at a tennis tournament and walked along the pit row of an unlimited hydroplane boat race.  

Today I finally managed to get down to the Tour of Qatar.  While my blackberry camera chose to malfunction right when the racers crossed the line, I still managed to get a few other pictures.  If I was more of a stalker of a mind to, I probably could have gotten a ton of autographs.

Photos across the jump.

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31 comments  | 

Battle Red Blog An Open Letter to Bob McNair

I will kill Frank Bush with mindbullets.

Dear Bob,

I hope this letter finds you well.  How could you not be well?  You are, after all, richer than Croesus.  The family and I are doing well over here, although my kids are a little frisky of late and have this annoying tendency to blow snot rockets at each other during dinner.

Anyway.  Enough small talk.  Let's get down to brass tacks here.  I didn't really write you to tell you about my kids or how rich you are.  I wrote to you because I have this really good idea that just occurred to me that I really want to share with you.  It's about your favorite NFL team and mine, the Texans.  I really hope you hear me out on this idea, Bob, because I'm sure this idea could really make the team a lot better.  Are you ready?

Good.  Let's do like Scott Bakula and take a quantum leap across the jump and get to business.

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81 comments  |  10 recs | 

Podium Cafe O/T More NFL Smack Talk

As promised, and as referenced in Swells's earlier fanpost, I'm here to talk some smack.  Specifically, my Houston Texans managed to put a good old-fashioned beating on our archrivals, the Tennessee Titans.  The Texans won 20-0 and the game wasn't really that close.  It was the first shutout by the Texans in six years and only the second in franchise history.

However, I can't really rub it in too much because the Titans were coming off a week of extreme turmoil, losing their crybaby quarterback and - more importantly - discovering that their offensive coordinator had cancer and was to undergo immediate chemotherapy.  As a result, the Titans were forced to start a rookie qb, with predictable results. 

Nonetheless, after all the disappointments of the last few weeks, I'm thrilled with a victory, especially one over Bud Adams's army of darkness.


Oh, and Cortland Finnegan literally got his ass kicked by Andre Johnson.  Deservedly so, imo.

Cortland Finnegan and Andre Johnson brawl in Texans' 20-0 win (via perakfc123)


 

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Battle Red Blog Stop Me If You Think That You Have Heard This One Before

Oh hush your mouth.  How can you say I go about things the wrong way?  I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.

Here we are again.  It seems like just last week that I was evaluating Gary Kubiak's performance in light of my analysis from earlier in the season.  After last night's game (or this morning's game, if you live in GMT+3 like I do), the calls for his head are rising to the sky like horseflies from the stinking carcass that is the Texans' 2010 campaign.  

Exaggeration? Maybe so.  In fact, probably so.  But it shouldn't be.  Gary Kubiak is exactly what his record indicates: a .500 coach.  This is clearly a huge improvement over his predecessor, but after five seasons in charge in Houston, I think it's a fair question to ask whether or not Kubiak will ever be more than that.  After all, his record after 68 games at Reliant is 34-34.  Isn't this enough of a sample size to judge him by?  

I know a lot of us are pretty bummed out about this loss, but rather than doing anything rash and heading for the nearest bridge, tall building or freeway overpass, why don't you make your only jump of the day your move across the one below?

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80 comments  |  3 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Taking Stock: Gary Kubiak's Season So Far

 

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

-Kavafy

Before the season started, I wrote a thought-piece on Gary Kubiak that laid out exactly where I hoped Kubiak would lead the team.  Back then we were all jonesing for some football.  Football season is in full swing now, and we have a pretty decent sample size from which to judge Gary's performance so far, so now is as good a time as any to look at that piece in light of what has happened so far this season and maybe take a stab at what to expect for the remaining ten games.

How about we do some double-dutch and hop across the jump, mmmkay?

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75 comments  |  5 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Welcome To The Bandwagon

You may not know this, but your Houston Texans have just run out to the best start in franchise history.  Seriously.  I mean it.  Now that our team has started drinking from the well of awesome, we're bound to have a whole bunch of new fans around these parts.  Some of our newfound friends may not know too much about the Texans, and quite a few people may find BRB's unique culture a little hard to understand.  With you, the n00by, in mind, I've drafted the following helpful primer on how to act like you've been a fan the whole time.  Keep these simple steps in mind the next time you're talking to your friends, and everyone will think you've been in on the deal from Day One.

First off, it is crucial that any author who plans on writing below the jump make some kind of witty play on the word "jump" in the last sentence before the jump.  So, let's take the advice of that crowd of people chanting up at the suicidal guy on the window ledge of a building and get ready to...

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89 comments  |  18 recs | 

Battle Red Blog Matt Schaub Is Intangibly Awesome But Lacks A Guardian Ninja

I think it's great that teh Schaub is getting more recognition.  I mean, the guy deserves it.  In my mind, there's no doubt that he was a significant upgrade over Zoolander from the moment he stepped on the field.  Do you know how I know?  Because in his first game as a Texans starter, he managed to find Andre Johnson for a 77-yard touchdown pass.  It was, at the time, the longest pass play of 'Dre's career.  I'm not sure if David Carr could even see 77 yards.  It sure didn't seem like it.

So you can imagine my frustration when, given that it was completely obvious that Schaub was going to be good, people somehow started coming up with the lamest ways of criticizing him.  Now, I will allow that there are some valid criticisms of teh Schaub.  Off the top of my head, I can think of two:  He has a tendency to throw completely unnecessary interceptions from time to time and he could be better at moving around in the pocket.  

But there are two other criticisms of teh Schaub that drive me completely, utterly insane.  The first one is the old cherry that he is injury-prone and, because he has missed time due to injuries, he is soft.  I find this amazing, considering that Schaub's injuries have all come from hits that resulted in fines.  Like it's a sign of weakness that Jared Allen throws himself into your knee after the play is over.  Right.

Fortunately, Matt Schaub put this criticism to rest last year when he played through the entire season and shrugged off some injuries in the process.  The Redskins put him on the turf five times last time out and hurried him a bunch more; Schaub's reaction was to channel his inner berserker and throw for a few yards short of 500.  What a wuss.

What could possibly infuriate me more than this criticism?  Skip with me across the jump to find out.

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Battle Red Blog Xavier Adibi Needs To Be Big Time (And Frank Bush Needs To Bring The Horse Relish)

This weekend the Texans are going to be facing a team in transition.  A team that is learning to adapt to a new coach and philosophy on both sides of the ball.  On offense, the key will be how our o-line handles a 3-4 front, something that has troubled the team in the past (although usually because of a stud NT; who knows how Fat Albert is going to play).

On defense, however, I'm guessing we're going to use a lot less nickel and therefore we're going to see three linebackers on the field most of the time.  That means that Xavier Adibi is going to be on the field a lot.  Does this fill you with dread?  I have to admit that it kinda makes me a bit nervous.  

Let's talk about how I think the Texans should handle Adibi after David Lee Roth makes us jump.

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Battle Red Blog Amobi Eats Colts - I Have Proof

If you want to see how good Amobi looked, John over at Texans Bull Blog has taken the trouble to show us.  He's highlighted several plays that highlight just how good Amobi can be.  Sure, he was going up against a line that was held together with duct tape and bailing wire, but his burst was so quick at times that I don't think it would have mattered.  If he gets out of his stance that quickly, any o-lineman in the league is going to have his hands full with Amoeba.  On two of these plays, you have to rewind a few times just to prove to yourself that he wasn't offside - he was that quick.

Tip of the cap to Texans Bull Blog for putting this together.

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Battle Red Blog Colts @ Texans Insta-Analysis: Texans Rain Hellfire Down on Colts

The smoke is from the smoldering ash heap formerly known as Peyton Manning.

Well, that was something, wasn't it?

Before I go on to do my quick-and-dirty analysis, I'd like to give a shout out to Peyton Manning.  He is an absolute wizard on the football field, and if he didn't play for the Colts, we'd all be talking about how amazing he is.  

Now then.  On to the game.

If I had told you before this game that the magic crystal ball had revealed that Manning would throw for 400+ yards and three scores while teh Schaub only went for 107 (with Dre only going for 33 yards) I'm sure you would have rolled your eyes and said something like, "f&^%ing Texans" or "fire Kubiak" or something like that.

Funny how things turn out sometimes, innit?

Let the Daddy Mack take you across the jump.

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Battle Red Blog In Which I Slay A Straw Man


Or: Momentum Is Crap.

My fellow degenerates Texans fans, tonight I'd like to piggyback on bfd's post about the meaningfulness (or meaninglessness) of the preseason.  In fact, I might have actually written mine before he did, but I was trying to get the kid to sleep and "Star Trek" was on the TV and well, the next thing you know it's kinda late and that rat bastard has snuck one in right under my nose.  Jerk.

Anywho...today the imponderable I'd like to ponder is the notion of momentum.  You hear this term a lot in sports.  Like many other terms that sports media and fans like to throw around (intangibles and clutch come to mind) the definition of momentum tends to be somewhat fluid, probably, I suspect, to better fit whatever point the speaker is trying to make at the time.

If a team wins a couple of games in a row, they have momentum.  If a team wins all four of its preseason games, some might say it is carrying a certain amount of momentum into the regular season.  Except, of course, until they lose.  Momentum might be a great way to describe, say, a bowling ball rolling at an object, but it's probably not a good way to describe the behavior of a complex organism such as a football team as it bounces its way through the season.  Once the bowling ball runs out of momentum, it just stops and sits there. 

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Battle Red Blog Football: A Passion Play In Three Acts

Author's note: I wrote this as a FanPost last year but wanted to republish it as a front page story since, after all, football season is finally upon us. 

ACT I: THE GAME

It begins with earth.  A field of grass, cut to just a few inches above the ground.  Someone has marked out a rectangle on the field by drawing white lines on it, perhaps with paint or chalk.  The rectangle is further divided by a series of white lines that run across it at five yard intervals and then further marked with the addition of hashmarks and yardage numbers.  Perhaps there is a special logo in the endzone or at the field's middle.

What is interesting about this field is not the fact that men walk or run on it.  It is the fact that men put their hands on it and eventually their entire bodies will end up on it, face up, face down, alone or in a group.  A referee puts the ball on the field and some men will place a single hand on the grass.  The man who puts his hand on the ground in this way does not do so because he has fallen or seeks to stoop at an altar or a confessional booth.  No.  In this sense, the act of putting one's hand on the ground is nothing more than the coiling of a spring.  The creation of tension.  Sweat slides in single beads from the faces of these men, falling to the earth like a solitary drip from a faucet.  If it is cold, steam will jet from the mouths and noses of these men as if they were bulls charging.  Tension ratchets up until there is only one possible action - a controlled explosion of muscle, aggression and grunts aimed at the opponent, timed to coincide with the snapping of the ball.  That's what the hand on the ground means.

It doesn't matter where this field is.  What matters is the game that is played there.  Boys and men will come to this strip of earth to play there.  There might be twenty people in the stands (all parents), 20,000 or even 100,000.  The men on the field may notice the people in the stands, they may not.  They are playing the game.  The game could take place under the sun's glare or under a harsh flashbulb bath of lights illuminating the rectangle as though the gods were peering down from heaven at this collection of men engaged in controlled, violent battle for supremacy.

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