SBNation.com User Blog: thestupidiscatching

The Jeckyll and Hyde Effect

thestupidiscatching — Thu, 23 May 2013 23:37:55 -0000

My name is Steve, and I am a Panthers addict.

It's nice to be among so many who understand what I am going through, here in this safe place.

Sometimes I feel so lonely. I can't talk to my fiancee about my addiction. She doesn't understand.

She doesn't know what it's like to wake up on a cold morning in January, sweating and shaking like a leaf, knowing that its going to be three months before the draft, and seven months before the start of training camp. She has never traded her favorite guitar - the one her parents gave her as a gift on her sixteenth birthday - for two upper-deck tickets to a pre-season game. She hasn't driven seven hours and stood in the scorching South Carolina sun for five hours just to get a linebacker coach's autograph on her raggedy, eight year-old, falling-apart-at-the-seams #51 jersey. And she never cried as she read a newspaper article saying that man had died, less than a year later.

She didn't have a noise complaint filed against her in 2003 when a little guy named Steve Smith hauled in a 69-yard touchdown pass, and she surely didn't have the cops called when she trashed a room at a Best Western in Pensacola, Florida two weeks later, as a kick sailed out of bounds with just over a minute left in the 4th quarter of the Super Bowl...

No, I can't talk about my addiction with my girlfriend, or anybody else in my close circle of friends and family. They just don't get it.

That is why Cat Scratch Reader is so important.

This is where I come when I need someone to understand my plight. And you all understand it so very well...

But something has changed recently, as another member pointed out in a comment earlier today. PanthersRoar mentioned that we are losing our way, bickering amongst ourselves and becoming divided, and he is right!

Threads are being derailed by long, non-sensical comment trains with weird cat photos and latent use of profanity. No one is paying their dues anymore, and BW is running around in his infamous chaps again. Noobs are waxing intellectual and playing armchair General Manager, and if Lamont Bryant doesn't make the Pro-Bowl this year I think someone may actually have an aneurism. I haven't seen a quality TopCat photo in weeks, and James has been reduced to writing articles about long-shot defensive tackles being switched to long-shot offensive tackles. TerribleMetaphorGuy has disappeared into the wilderness, Oldy is even more dolorous than usual, we all apparently hate some guy named Ivan for no reason I can discern other than the possibility that he is a viking (Not a Viking FAN, a real viking. I would never stoop so low to call anyone a Viking fan.), public rosterbation is running rampant, and I have even seen blurry pictures of PT sightings floating around the late-night threads...

It's a madhouse around here, apparently, and I am left wondering: "Where did we go wrong!?!"

I sat up into the wee hours of the last thirty minutes pondering this question, and after significant soul-searching I had an epiphany: It is the OFFSEASON. You know, that time of year when there is no real football news to keep us sated; when we dig through twelve-year old Combine numbers for over-the-hill free agents that we convince ourselves will be the final cog in the elusive World Champion machine; that time of year when Star Lotulelei is Haloti Ngata 2.0 and The Kraken is the result of a science experiment gone wonderfully wrong (see: John Randle in his prime getting bitten by a radioactive spider while simultaneously being shot by gamma-rays). This is that magically terrible time of year when we are all excited, angry, sad, bored, and a little bit hungry... And it is drawing to a close.

Take heart, my CSR brethren. Things will get better. We will weather this storm, as we always do. We will make it through the dog days of summer, and we will sweat it out in Spartanburg. We will watch as the roster gets whittled down and we will argue over every move Papa Getts makes. Our own roster here on CSR will suffer attrition, the threads will calm down, and the old hats will persevere. OTAs, training camp and the pre-season will come and they will pass, and then blessed September will arrive, and all in Pantherland will rejoice...

For one shining moment, our 2013 Carolina Panthers will be poised for a second glorious run as the Cardiac Cats, on their way to another Superb Owl. Every thread will brim with positivity and all will be right in the world. The bad times will fade in our memories, as they are wont to do, and even PanthersRoar will forget all about this turbulent time...

Until February, that is...

My name is Steve, and I am a Panthers addict.

It's nice to be among so many who understand what I am going through, here in this safe place.

Sometimes I feel so lonely. I can't talk to my fiancee about my addiction. She doesn't understand.

No, I can't talk about my addiction with my girlfriend, or anybody else in my close circle of friends and family. They just don't get it.

That is why Cat Scratch Reader is so important.

This is where I come when I need someone to understand my plight. And you all understand it so very well...

It's a madhouse around here, apparently, and I am left wondering: "Where did we go wrong!?!"

Until February, that is...

Poll

Which version of CSR do you prefer?

A Panthers Dream 53 Man Roster

thestupidiscatching — Sun, 19 May 2013 13:20:32 -0000

Inspired by Arealpanthersfan's earlier "Question for your Weekend" post, I found myself digging through old Panthers rosters and thought it would be fun to put together my "Dream 53" of all-time Panthers players.

I resisted the urge to include a few superstars that blew through during the George Seifert debacle, (Reggie White, Eric Swann, etc.) as they were well past their primes and never really saw success while members of the team, but anyone else who pulled the blue and black over their pads was considered fair game.

via sportsblogunited.com

Some of the positions were pretty easy, because of the relative lack of turnover at the position over our short history as a franchise, but others were quite difficult. After playing around for a couple hours and fine tuning I believe my roster is ready, and I now submit it for your review, my CSR brethren. Now keep in mind, this is my list of the players I think would make the BEST roster under our existing scheme and coaching staff, i.e. vertical offense, 4-3 defense. Some rookies made the team based purely on potential, and all historical players will have a range of years listed beside them to signify their "prime" as Panthers. Finally, injuries were not taken into account for this exercise, which made players like Dan Morgan, Patrick Jeffers, and Jeff Otah infinitely more valuable.

So without further ado, here is the roster, along with a few notes for each position to clarify my thought process. Tell me, what do you think? Would you make any changes?

Carolina Panthers Dream 53

Offense

Quarterback

Cam Newton
Jake Delhomme
Steve Beuerlein

This wasn't too hard, because Jake's style of play would fit well into our current offense. He runs better than Kerry Collins and Beuerlein, and played that "gunslinger" style that fits well in a vertical offense. Beuerlein over Collins was iffy, because I think the offense is better suited to Collins' big-arm, where Beuerlein is more of a west-coast style quarterback. However, I gave the nod to Beuerlein because if our third-string QB is in there, I want someone who is cool-headed, accurate, and can manage the game well, not a guy that was a career 50% passer as a Panther.

Running back

Once again, not a lot of controversy here. J-Stew and Davis are pretty interchangeable style-wise, but the high hopes for Biakabatuka and Deshaun Foster never really panned out. Anthony Johnson would probably have to be my honorable mention, as he was the franchise's first 1,000 yard rusher and I just remember watching that little guy with the tinted visor lowering his head and pounding out four yard runs like nobody's business...

Fullback

No one else even close.

Wide receiver

Steve Smith
Muhsin Muhammad
Mark Carrier
Keyshawn Johnson
Patrick Jeffers
Brandon Lafell

This is the first position where I would anticipate some real discussion. Rocket Ismail was a favorite of mine when he was on the team, and his claim to fame was a several-year run as the "fastest man in the NFL", but he only eclipsed 1,000 yards for us once and was kind of a one-trick pony. Willie Green had a couple good seasons, and I remember Ricky Proehl and Donald Hayes fondly as well, but I gave Jeffers the nod over them all because of his size, hands, and fearlessness. Unfortunately, that fearlessness came with the scars to prove it, and injuries pushed him into an early retirement.

Tight end

Wesley Walls
Greg Olsen
Jeremy Shockey

One could make an argument for Kris Mangum as one of the longest tenured Panthers, due to his vastly superior blocking ability over all of those listed, but in this offense we need all the weapons we can get.

Left tackle

This one was tough. I remember Steussie being involved in a PED scandal after leaving the team, and almost went with Blake Brockermeyer for that reason, but then decided if this is a fantasy team, then the players' indiscretions must go away just as their injuries do.

Left guard

Here, I am going off potential. Mike Wahle would be the obvious choice behind Wharton if it was bassed off his career with the Packers, but his one Pro-Bowl berth as a Panther was more due to name recognition than production, and even that level of performance was never replicated. Amini struggled last season, but I started to see flashes late, and if he continues to improve I could definitely see him becoming a special player.

Center

Ryan Kalil
Jeff Mitchell

Honorable mention goes to Frank Garcia. Kalil and Mitchell are the obvious choices, but Garcia was quietly a very strong player for us. He was versatile, starting and playing well at both the center and guard positions, and I have always thought he was kind of overlooked as a Panther, and remember him fondly from those exciting early years in franchise history...

Right guard

Keydrick Vincent
Greg Skrepenak

Ok, I have to admit I never realized how much of a turnstile this position has been over the years. In eighteen seasons, there have been thirteen different starters. Only one player (Kevin Donnalley) has started more than two seasons, with a whopping three year run, and only four players have started two seasons (Piggy, Keydrick Vincent, Greg Skrepenak, and Tutan - wait for it - Reyes. We have groomed two quality players in Evan Mathis and Geoff Schwartz only to let them go elsewhere to shine, and of course we all remember the Bruce Nelson fiasco, *shudder*... Donnalley would have gotten the nod, but really, with the pickings as slim as they are, who cares? Hopefully Kugbila will work out and solidify the position for the next decade...

Right tackle

Chris Terry
Jeff Otah

When I think about the right tackle position and the Panthers, an old Diamond Rio song comes to mind...
"I try not to think about what might have been, 'cause that was then, and we have taken different roads..."
Chris Terry was our first pick in the decimated 1999 class, where we had given up our first, third, and fifth in the acquisition of Sean Gilbert from the Washington Redskins. After four tumultuous seasons, the talented but troubled Terry moved on to the greener pastures of Seattle, but he never really lived up to his potential, and had several bouts with alcohol-related off-field issues.
The Panthers' brass thought so highly of Jeff Otah in 2008 that they traded back into the first round for him. For one bright, shining season Hurney looked like a genius. The Panthers rolled to a 12-4 record and first round bye on the back of D-Will's career year, and the dominantly mauling Otah was a huge part of that success. I think we all know what happened from there...

Defense

Left defensive-end

Julius Peppers
Charles Johnson

Noone else even in the discussion. Reggie White (R.I.P.) was a shadow of his former self in his one season with us.

Nose tackle

Kris was an insane talent, and Star has the potential to be as good. As an interesting aside, go look at Pro-Football-Reference's page for Greg Kragen, the Panthers' nose tackle from 1995-1997. I don't know if it is right, but it has him listed as 263 lbs. (wut) and playing the nose his entire career. In Denver, he had a couple 100+ tackle seasons. Weird...

Under tackle

Brentson Buckner

Believe it or not, though Sean Gilbert was widely despised by Panther faithful due to his acquisition cost, his numbers were far and above any other under tackle we've ever had not named Brentson. Hopefully KK will justify his draft position, and in a few years we can officially wipe the Sean Gilbert debacle from our consciousness altogether...

Right defensive-end

Ruck held it down for a long time, and hopefully the Kraken will do the same.

Strongside linebacker

Thomas Davis
Mark Fields

This one was hard. Technically, Kevin Greene played sam his entire career, but in a 4-3 defense he would need to play the will to utilize his strength (pass rushing) and mask his weakness (coverage). Pre-injury, TD played the sam and did well, so I swapped him back so we could get our most prolific group on the team together. Mark Fields was just a stud, and his miracle story was one of the best Panthers storylines ever. Fast, great in coverage and a consummate pro, Fields wasn't with us very long but left a huge impression.

Middle linebacker

Man. This position was the toughest so far. I am in the camp that believes Luke Kuechly has the potential to be the next Urlacher, so even though he is very young I had to include him. Minus consideration of injuries, Dan Morgan was dominant. He had the talent for Canton, but a skull made of eggshell. Beason rounds out the top three, because how could I leave him off the list? He has the most hardware of any Panthers mike, and with good reason. To look at this roster and realize I have to put players like Sam Mills and Michael Barrow on the "honorable mention" list is a little surreal. For the record, Mills is my all-time favorite Panther. Rest in peace, Sam, and keep pounding!!!

Weakside linebacker

Kevin Greene
Will Witherspoon

Greg Lloyd was unfortunately washed up by the time he got here, and Lamar Lathon was near the end of his career as well. Lathon and Greene as "Salt-and-Pepper" was epic, and one of my favorite Panthers stories to date, but Lamar only really gave us one great year. Greene is still 4th on the Panthers' all-time sacks list, and only one and a half short of Big Money even though he only played three seasons in Carolina. Not to mention he was 34 years old when he ARRIVED in Charlotte. Witherspoon was a very solid linebacker for the Panthers' most successful three year stretch to date, but chased the money to St. Louis after his rookie deal ended...

Cornerback

Chris Gamble
Eric Davis
Doug Evans
Ken Lucas
Richard Marshall

Pickings have been slim here. I can't see how anyone else could be seriously considered. Manning and Munnerlyn, maybe, but I just can't do it...

Free safety

Wow. Just, wow.
Honorable mention: Eugene Robinson, mostly for sticking around in the city where he finished his career and providing local coverage for the games now.

Strong Safety

Mike Minter
Chris Harris

If you ask a true Panthers fan for a short list of his/her all-time favorite Panthers, I can pretty much guarantee Minter makes the list. Never a ball-hawk, the man was an outspoken leader for the team and would absolutely lay the wood if you dared to cross the middle. It is no surprise that since he retired, the secondary has had a vacuum in leadership which was only briefly filled by Chris Harris, and has subsequently suffered through mediocrity...

Kicker

Need I bother?

Punter

Todd Sauerbrun

I have to say, I loved Todd Sauerbrun. Dude was insane, and without a doubt could boot the ball a mile. And man did he say some funny stuff!

Specialist

Michael Bates

I would have loved to carry Winslow Oliver on the roster as well, as he has been our most prolific punt returner to date, but there is no one else I would cut in his favor, so Smitty would have to carry that burden in this scenario. Perish the thought...

Well, there you go, folks! Tell me what you think of my first real attempt at writing a piece for the site, and of course feedback on my list is welcome! I would hate to think I have forgotten to mention anyone!