SB Nation User Blog: tk

Offday Truths, Ads Edition

tk — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 03:17:37 -0000

The Giants on the radio are one of the great joys in life. I think we can all agree on that.

But the ads? The ads. It's enough to make me shut it off sometimes when the Hellmouths of Anaheim-Los Angeles are beating us anyway and 2/3 of the broadcast is commercials.

Here are some from the hall of shame:

• Frat-Rat Wasteoid. "Potato chips come in a cylinder. Energy drinks come in a cylinder. Sperm donors come in a cylinder. Cylinders are my friend!!"

• Door Number Three. "Are you a dickless wonder with a t-top Mustang, a sexually submissive CEO in a Beamer, or a minivan-driving soccer mom who eventually will throw down with one of the drum majors just after the kids graduate from high school? WHAT'S DRIVING YOU?"

• Dennis the Menace, Revisited. "Ohhhh. You're Lisa Stevens from Wells Fargo Bank. My dad said you'll drop trou for an autographed bat!" "Kids say the darndest things!"

• Mars-Venus. "Girls want beach vacations, garden hoses, and pretty, pretty appliances. We menfolk only want to save a dime. It doesn't matter what product this is for. It applies across the board."

• Gam-Anon. "If you win on a lottery ticket, you'll have not just a few thousand bucks but also the miraculous ability to play a decent piece of hair metal and get mad hookers and blow. Always play responsibly!"

• Brokeback Brewery. "Herrre in the Rrrocky Mount'ns, where for some reason we all tawk like we're from Texiss, we combine mule piss and acid runoff and call it 'bear.' Coors sponsorship, I wish I could quit you."

• ADD Generation. "As if you don't get enough overstimulation listening to these ridiculous ads atwhichtheytalkfivethousandwordsasecond, follow KNBR on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Bing, Geocities and Livejournal! Becausesportsmovesfast! Muchfasterthanyoucouldhearitontheradio orwatchitonTV! We're so hard for social media we're going to push it even though it's going to make us obsolete!"

You're up!

Post-Meetup Fun Chatter

tk — Mon, 04 May 2009 03:38:31 -0000

So great to come out to the park and see everyone who made it to the Baby Giants.

I didn't bring my camera, so I can provide neither photographic evidence nor witty comments, but highlights were:

-The background to the "jcb = RAGE" story that I never did hear the beginning to.

-Fist-bumping jcb's kid and fawning over his baby, much to the alarm of my husband.

-Hatching plots, too late, to introduce said husband as the user SneakToBetterSeats.

-Talking wine-barrel potatoes and hot 40-something managers, not with the same person (I don't think ...).

-Meeting Kevin, who did such a great job of organizing this whole thing. Kudos! More of this please. Also, I liked your write-ups.

-Merkin and his girlfriend's AMAZING matching heckling voices, about one octave apart but equal in volume.

-E-Me's and my matching *~*~*VINTAGE*~*~* <--LOOK! (oops, eBay moment) McChrons t-shirts. Grant's right, the official printed ones fade like crazy. I suggest you go with CafePress, as mine is still doing well, even though my dog peed on it two years ago. Bleach and All Free & Clear fixed that right up. Is my dog a Dodgers fan?? Help.

-The food. I think it was better than at Mays Field, though maybe that's because it was free with the ticket.

-Seeing the Baron, obvy.

-Oh ... baseball? Alderson is scary good! And we won! And the big Giants won too! Which thanks to the miracle of modern technology, we got to keep an eye on!

So, in short, lovely to meet you all and thanks again a million times to BruteSentiment for setting this up. Hope to see everyone again soon!

Jim Rome shows seeking writers

tk — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 17:06:35 -0000

Jim Rome shows seeking writers

Thought I'd pimp this here, as we have such awesome sports writers. But are you "willing to grind"?

Postgame 4/11 -- what did he say?

tk — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 21:12:20 -0000

So here's how this dialogue went last night ...

Broadcasters: Taking the piss over Dave and Kruk agreeing with each other all postgame ...

Dave: That was a great broadcast tonight, Kuip.

Kruk: Thank you, Dave ...

Kuip: [unintelligible]

All three: Giggling like schoolgirls

Dave: It is kind of cold in here.

Kruk: I just don't have anything to say to that.

All three: Giggling like schoolgirls on Pez.

Kruk: Smooth, I can't believe you said that.

... So what did he say?!

Perplexed in Peninsula

New levels of Tomko stalkination

tk — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:15:57 -0000

New levels of Tomko stalkination

So I was doing my usual semidaily Brett Tomko google-stalk. (Are there any news stories? Any new blog posts mentioning him? Any new PHOTOS, por dios?) And I came across the photo linked in my post. I peered at the t-shirt. Deep Three, huh?

I emailed Deep Three basketball apparel with the photo link and said I was looking for one of those t-shirts and did they have any (because it wasn't on their main retail site)?

They wrote back saying it was an old tee but that they looked in a conference bin and found two and did I want one?

OF COURSE I WANT ONE!

So yeah. I have Brett Tomko's t-shirt winging its way toward me in the mail. Well, not exactly the same one he had on in the picture, more's the pity. But, closer than before.

Pathetic, me? NEVAH HAPPEN.

Dog Days today

tk — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 16:50:38 -0000

Is anyone going to Dog Days today?

JD and Charley-dog and I will be there, in the bleachers. Section 141 row 25 seats 4--6 -- or rather, two of those and one lap -- anyway, if anyone's coming and wants to meet the Long Dog, come and say hey!

We've been hovering around the Dog Days games for four years and always said "next year we'll have a dog and we'll go!" Now we finally get to. We aren't going to do the parade around the warning track though -- I would love to, but it's going to be too early and I don't want to have to bail out of the game early.

JD suggests that if Zito stinks up the joint, everyone gets to set their dogs on him.

via farm4.static.flickr.com

"There has to be some bizarre three-way trade in the works where the Brewers will pay the Giants a...

tk — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 20:00:50 -0000

"There has to be some bizarre three-way trade in the works where the Brewers will pay the Giants a lot of money to send Barry Zito to the Cubs."

--Mr. TK, 8/2/08

Rockies cameraman whacked by popup on TV

tk — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 19:20:20 -0000

You guessed it, my dad got beaned in the top of the head by a flying ball. He saw through his viewfinder Garrett Atkins coming at him, closer and closer, and he was thinking, Wow, I sure am getting a great shot of Atkins ... and then WHUMP ... ball -> head. He got lucky because he was wearing one of those thick headsets and the ball bounced off the one inch of padding on the headset rather than right off his head. He is OK, no goose egg, no headache, no concussion (we think). But he's having weird nerve stuff going on in his leg. I'm going to make him go to the doctor on Monday if it's not gone (as much as I can make him do anything from SF when he's in Denver ...).

Apparently this clip has been played a bunch in Florida and Denver and he might have even gotten on ESPN but he's not sure. The announcers mentioned my dad also happened to be a Vietnam vet, its being a patriotic holiday and all.

So if anyone saw that, that's my daddy, forever putting himself on the line for his country, whether in Nam or the American pastime.

Auigh

tk — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 05:13:21 -0000

Just a nice, cranky night on which to update the McCoven on the state of the TK. It ain't too good. After my surgery on May 27, which didn't work out, I went steadily into a weird decline, culminating in an emergency operation on June 20 due to a perforated colon. They had to take the whole thing out, bring me in in an ambulance, worst pain I've ever been in etc. etc. During the night of the 20th/morning of the 21st I was on 8 hours' worth of painkillers each hour, with nothing really working until they cut me open and got the whole infection/whatever out.

Three days later was my first wedding anniversary. I don't think I was coherent for it.

Now I've been in the hospital since the 20th, will probably be in till at least next week and then go home and am afraid the same type of thing will happen again. There's still at least one more surgery to go but we're trying to hold off for six months on it because the healing from this one is so difficult. However if we have to do it sooner I guess we will.

It's always depressing to write these things down. But I know you guys don't mind too much or if you do you will ignore it. I'm pretty sick of medical ish right now and would just as soon be a brain in a jar. Where I can still listen to the Giants. Incongruously beating the A's 11-1. Anyway I miss all of you, I listen to the broadcast every day, but I don't usually have the brains to post anymore due to all the drugz0rs. Hopefully things will even out soon. I dream of that night in April when I went to the game and had those garlic fries. I thought I was doing sort of average then, but that's the picture of health compared to me now. To conclude I will quote our Baron: "Get back up." One step at a time, and all that. Thanks for the support as usual.

This is seriously jacked up

tk — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 00:57:46 -0000

This is seriously jacked up

Bud Selig gets pregnant with someone's manbabies if you choose the right adventure.