How about that local sports team?  I bet the Hawaii Bowl is going to be a fun game to watch.  I might go to the game.  It's probably going to be a high scoring game.

The daily Junk Drawer (JD) fanpost is the place for true off-topic conversation and people's random thoughts.. with a goal to foster community and people have really become a family here. So if you have a one-off thought, consider posting it here.

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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. — Oscar Wilde

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. — Ann Landers, advice columnist

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. — Ambrose Redmoon

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty. — Norm Crosby

I know everyone is depressed because Rich Cho gave Nate a horrible roster for this season and KP had a habit of drafting injury prone or gutless players.  If you're not contemplating jumping off one of the many bridges in Portland upon realizing the Blazers are the Cubs of the NBA, you should take the time to watch the Civil War.  I guess the SEC title game will be intriguing as well.

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More after the jump.

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So, my best mate and I were rapping over the 2010 FIBA World Championships.  He's from Australia and says after the NBA, that FIBA is the best competition in the world.  I said, that the Olympics was second best, and then probably the Spanish league before FIBA, and he said, "Get out of here." 

He says that a lot. 

So then I said, "Listen, BROTHER, I watch way more basketball than you."  Then he said, "You're a bloody wanker, mate." 

He says that a lot too.

So then I said, "What do you even know about international basketball?"  And then he said, "Come on, there are more NBA players in FIBA than in in those leagues."  So then I said, "Even the Olympics?"  And he said, "Well that don't count."

That's when I realized he was drunk, so I said, "Every team in the NBA could beat every FIBA team except team USA."  And he replied, "Get out of here, you blood wanker!" 

I told you he said those two phrases a lot.

Aloha Friends,

My name is tominhawaii and soon to be changed to LukeBabbittFTW.  I wanted to squeeze out a happy go lucky Junk Drawer before someone makes a depressing one.

Mahalo,

LBFTW

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90210 - That's today's date.  Bill Simmons pointed it out.  He says he's going to have a 90210 podcast today.  I plan on skipping that one.

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Waipahu is playing in a few minutes and youins area all 2 lazy to rite your own junk.  What is SO supposed to do? 

Child please!

You no I don't like riten a junk drawer when there is 1 of mine already there in the last 50 fanposts.

Child please!

It is pretty hard just writing crap to get to seventy five words.

This is my third attempt at 75.

Crap that was 71.

That should do it.

Child please!

Mortimer. Mor-ti-mer.
Hard-hearted harbinger of drawing.
Beautiful, bemuse-ed, bellicose baldy.
Un-trust… ing. Un-know… ing. Un-love… ed?
"He wants a drawing!"
He screamed into the night air like a fireman going to a window that has no fire… Except the passion of his heart.
He is lonely.
He’s really hard.
This poem… was stolen.

I stole that poem from "So I Married An Axe Murder."  It was a funny movie.

I was listening to the Dan Patrick Show podcast the other day and they were making fun Yankee’s slugger Mark Teixeira for missing two games for the birth of his third child with no complications. Then later, I was listening to the BS Report podcast and Bill Simmon’s friend Johnny, who is a die hard Yankees fan, made the same complaint.

Johnny’s biggest point of contention is that Teixeira makes $22.5 million per season. Johnny thought that if a player is being paid that much to play just 162 games per year, not counting playoffs, then they need to make every game a priority and missing just two games is unacceptable. At first I thought it was a bit harsh, and then after thinking about it a bit, I ended up agreeing with Johnny. And when you consider the NBA only plays 82 game, missing even a quarter of an NBA game, for a child’s birth is unacceptable.

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Today I am going stand up paddle boarding with some friends from Oregon.
I like stand up paddle boarding, it is ever so much fun.
Monday we are going kayaking for five outs.
Might make me tired, because I have to work, but I’ll be OK.
All I have to do is take a long nap the next day.
Y’all don’t need to hate, just because you’re stuck in the rainy pacific northwest.

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Have you ever made a mix-tape for the opposite sex?  If you answered yes, then that is sweet and you are probably a dork and old.  Seriously, who makes tapes?  I guess you could have made a mix-CD and you're not old, just dorky.

I've never made a mix-tape or mix-CD except for two.  One was all breakup songs for a guy who was just dumped by his fiancee and the other was all songs about having sex that I made for a friend's son to take on prom.

If I was going to make a mix-CD for you folks, I would include these song:

Cut The Mustard - Mel Tillis and The Old Dog for Southern Oregon

I Can Only Imagine - Mercy Me for AK1984

All By Myself - Eric Carman for idoltime

Sour Time - Portishead for Mortimer

When It Don't Come Easy - Patty Griffin for Corvid

How Can I Not Love You - Joy Enriquez for Roybot

Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler for Dave

No More Cloudy Day - The Eagles for cloudydays (Not really fitting but thought it was funny because of his name)

The Crab Song - Faith No More for Honka Playboy

Informer - Snow for Ben

Mrs. Robinson - Simon & Garfunkel for Jorga

Take It Easy - The Eagles for annthefan

One Time - Justin Bieber for Dirty Socks

Tears Of A Clown - Smokey Robinson & The Miracles for 92wastheyear

Ballerina Girl - Lionel Richie for Claire

One Day - Matisyahu for jksnake99

Maggie May - Rod Stewart for Section323

I Want It That Way - Back Street Boys for Sammy

Du Hast - Rammstein for Norkstroll

Daydream Believer - Shonen Knife for broyposse

Evil Dead - The Musical for Name's Ash

99 Luft Ballons - Nena for EvilKaramazov

Smelly Cat - Friends for CatMan2

Keep The Car Running - Arcade Fire for DrivetheLane

Revenge Of The Nerds Song - Revenge Of The Nerds for Timmay! (Honorable Mention: 8-Bit Song)

Touch Of Grey - Grateful Dead for 22baylor

Tightrope - Janelle Monage for atomiccafe

Cream - Prince for Sexual Tyrannasaurus

Photograph - Def Leppard for dougall5505

Super Fart Song - Family Guy for fajunga

I'll keep adding songs.  It's 5:32 AM and there isn't a Junk Drawer up.  If I take much longer, someone will beat me to it.

Aloha KP,

This is Tom. You don’t know me and I don’t know you. I recently watched The Blind Side and I noticed that Sandra Bullock’s bootie has gotten much bigger than when she was in Love Potion No. 9. I don’t think her butt getting bigger is a bad thing, I kind of like it, do you? I wouldn’t mind spending an afternoon on her blind side.

I work the night shift, have you ever had to work the night shift? It is a really junky shift.

Did you see and hear Joe Biden drop an F-bomb yesterday to the president? After watching that Vice President mess up, I bet you’re glad you don’t have a second in command to screw things up for you.

My coworker stubbed her toe and her toenail split it right down the middle. She said it hurts and she doesn’t want to work out today. I called her a quitter and told her to suck it up.  She's going to work out now, because I motivated her.

They are showing tow-in surfing on the news. Have you ever seen that? Those son’s of birches are nuts.

I really like pizza, do you like pizza? To me, pizza is like sex, there is no such thing as bad pizza, just some pizza is better than other pizza.

My friend Mortimer saw you in an airport bar once. He said you were tall and a really good kisser. Ha ha, I’m just kidding about the kissing part, I was wondering if you were paying attention since you’ve had a lot on your mind these days.

Have you ever played gay chicken? I work with a former army guy who said the marines in Iraq play a lot of gay chicken.

Well, I guess I should wrap this up. Please write back if you can.

Your pal,

Tom

Breakfast cereals, lets discuss.

Americans like their cereals.  I looked on Wikipedia and they list almost 500 cereals.  I was raised poor white trash so I didn't have the opportunity to eat all those fancy serials like some unnamed elitist starting point guard. 

When my evil mother decided to splurge on us and buy a sugary cereal, she would buy the knock off brands with names like "Fruit-Ohs" or "Choco-Ohs" that came in a large plastic bag.   My brother or sister would always open the entire top of the bag, which made pouring the cereal into a bowl a pain in the neck. 

My mother normally bought Cornflakes.  I always hated that they got soggy fast and it was even worse when we would have to eat them with water instead of milk. 

I have never been huge on sugary cereals.  Even in my youth, I preferred Raisin Bran or Grapenuts over Fruit Loops or Coco Pebbles.  These days I eat a lot of Honey Nut Cherrios because they take longer than other cereals to get soggy.

I should also mention Malt-O-Meal and Cream of Wheat.  I was never a big fan of those and these days I prefer grits.

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Aloha Mates,

This was originally a reply to a comment in a fanshot. Ha, just kidding.

It was just time for a new Junk Drawer and I found some cool links that might be fun for us to look through.

The Official 2009-10 Prediction Thread

I predicted 56 wins and this:

Lose game 7 at home

Because the Blazers don’t have a PG to guard Paul.

60 wins: What Will It Take?

I said this:

I think Miller replacing Sergio is probably worth two more wins.

Little did I know, Miller would cause 20 losses.

Hurryup09 is a freaking profit:

Only problem: inevitably, some things will go WORSE than last season, e.g., injuries. Maybe chemistry issues will finally raise their ugly head. Maybe Roy’s last minute magic will wane a bit.

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I was listening to the NBA Today podcast and he had his most hated and most loved teams.  I thought it seems like a swell idea for a Fanpost if I kicked it up a notch.  I would have mad it a stand alone Fanpost but it would have gotten junked up anyhow.

Here is the exercise:  Take your six favorite current NBA players and put them against your six least favorite current NBA players.  I've read lots of folks saying they hate Kobe and LeBron so it could be interesting.

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I was going to start a list of the most iconic internet videos and wanted to make sure I listed them all, so I Googled it and found a way better list than mine.

The 100 Most Iconic Internet Videos

It still seems like a good topic and I don't have to do any work.  Just follow that there link. Numa Numa is one of my favorites, just because of the eyebrow part.  Back Dorm Boys is also one of my favorites.  I am not sure I agree with their top 10.  although, I do like the list overall.

Figure skating stats.

Moore after the jump.

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Why I Do Not Like Andre Miller

By

TominHawaii

Prepared for Blazersedge

I called my mother the other day and I asked her if she remembers anything from March 19, 1976, and she said she did. According to my mother, on that day I screamed out, "*@^% You Andre!" then flipped duel birds towards the south. We were living in Vancouver, Washington at the time.

I have a lesbian friend named Mitch who went to the University of Utah and she does not shave her legs. Not shaving your legs is gross and another reason to not like Andre Miller.

When Andre Miller graduated from the University of Utah, he started working on a Master’s in Sociology. He never got it because he is a quitter. Vince Carter finished his degree after joining the NBA and yet another reason to not like Andre Miller.

Nine players from the 1999 NBA Draft have been All Stars. Wally Szczerbiak and/or Steve Francis are greater than Andre Miller, yet another reason to not like Andre Miller.

Andre Miller’s crappy play for Cleveland is probably why Cleveland has LeBron James, and yet another reason to not like Andre Miller.

Andre Miller was a Los Angeles Clipper and a Denver Nugget, two more reasons to not like Andre Miller.

Miller was traded to the Clippers for Darius Miles. Miles was then traded to the Blazers, so it is safe to say it is Miller’s fault Miles became a Blazers and another reason to not like Andre Miller.

Andre Miller was traded from Denver to Philadelphia for Allen Iverson. Iverson was a number one pick and an 11 time All Star. Iverson is way better than Miller and the Blazers could have had Iverson for cheap in the off season instead of Miller, and yet another reason to not like Andre Miller.

Did Andre Miller come up with the term "flaming bag pass" and tell it to Hollinger? I think so, which also means Miller was throwing a teammate under the bus. Throwing a teammate under the bus is another reason to not like Andre Miller.

Andre Miller is listed on Shamsports for character issues. The only other Blazer listed is Juwan Howard.

On October 10, 2009, Andre Miller complained to the national media about his playing time where he outright lied.

"If I was told right out when I had my meetings that I would be a backup, then I wouldn’t have come here," Miller told Yahoo! Sports this week.

Articles indicate that Nate told Miller in Las Vegas that he would be signed to be the backup. Miller did nothing to try to adjust to the team, instead he blamed McMillan and started a rumor calling Brandon Roy "selfish".  Blaming the coach and calling Roy "selfish" is another reason to not like Andre Miller.

Miller complained to the local media after a win. A serious loser move.

Miller yelled obscenities at the coach because he didn’t get to play in the 4th quarter. It made the national news and moved Miller from "serious loser" to "DB".

Andre Miller has the lowest 3 point percentage on the Blazers, he is in the bottom five in Defensive Rating, Total Rebound Percentage and Defensive Rebound Percentage. Of the active players, he leads the team in Turnovers per 36 minutes. In fact, when you look at his stats, he is pretty much next to Blake or Bayless on most of them. Proof that he is not much of an improvement and overpaid.  Being overpaid and not much better than Blake is another reason to not like Andre Miller.

Andre Miller is the highest paid active player on the Blazers roster and he has had 8 games where he scored 5 points or less and 32 games with 5 or fewer assists. A clear sign that Miller is not earning his paycheck and yet another reason to not like Andre Miller.

So, I haven't seen a fanpost starting with "so" in quite some time.  So, I decided to write this one.  You see, the old Junk Drawer keeps telling me there is a new comment and when I open the Junk Drawer, there is nothing new in there.

So, do you folks want to talk about the Blazers Dancers?  I used to think they were a nuisance but when they come back from commercial the camera seems to be focusing on the lovely and talented Taren, and all of a sudden, I think the Blazers Dancers are all right in my book.  Taren sure is swell, I like her so much more than Christel. 

So, what about the Junior Blazers Dancers?  Any self respecting fan with a daughter age 8-11 should have to turn in their fancard if they don't pressure their little girl to be a Junior Blazers Dancer.

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Our good friend Lets Blaze has Shavlik (Shav) Randolph on the phone and he is taking questions. He did this once before and it was a swell time.

Shav is a swell guy and people like him. Shavlik is 26 and he was born in Raleigh, North Carolina. He went to Duke and can bench a 2010 "Fat Boy" Harley. Shav can dunk and he is probably taller than you.

Best of luck Shav, you are swell.

American Idol starts today.  Now that this season is basically over and Nate is being stubborn and ignorant by starting Miller over Bayless, American Idol is all I have to look forward to.  The first week or two of the season is always the best and I actually know a few people who only watch the first couple of weeks of American Idol. 

This year, I hope a ginger wins.  I miss the good old days where I would write OT post about American Idol on non-game days.

The band Restless Heart sang the following lyrics about love but I think it also applies to the Blazers.

Why does it have to be wrong or right?
Why does it have to be one way or the other?
Won’t somebody please, please tell me.
Why does it have to be black or white?
Why do we have to hurt one to love another?
Oh, tell me why?
Why does it have to be?

Here is the wonderfully dated video.

So what's the deal with sports fans? Why does it always have to be one player or the other? 

Why did Sergio fans go after Blake?  Why did Bayless fans go after Sergio?  Why is the onus always on the other guy?

My hate for Miller has nothing to do with Blake.  I acknowledge that Miller is a better point guard than Blake, just a poor fit.  I do not care who is in place of Miller, as long as it is anyone else besides Miller. Yet whenever I express my displeasure with Miller, people drag Blake into the conversation.  The same goes for Bayless/Miller.  If you read the post-game thread there is a lot of Miller instead of Bayless banter.

And regarding free throws and the Miller in at the end instead of Bayless, had it been one of Blazersedge's least favorite players to miss that free throw with four seconds left, the loss would be his fault and not the refs or Nate's for miss-communicating the intentional miss of the second free throw.  Why can't it be everyone's fault?

Why is it a priority for Bayless to be in the game to develop when Blake is on the floor but not when Miller is on the floor? 

I seem to recall a lot of negativity towards Webster in the preseason because of the fear he could take away playing time from Batum, yet no one cared when Rudy took Batum's minutes last year.  Why does it gotta be like that?

via www.urinelle.biz

The other day I recorded Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and The Flight Before Christmas, which was coming on after Rudolph, because it had Norm Macdonald as one of the voices. Yesterday, I watched all of The Flight Before Christmas and most of Rudolph, and both were disturbing.

The Flight Before Christmas is about a young reindeer named Niko who lives with his mother and a squirrel who also acts as Nico's surrogate father. Niko does not know who his real father is, just that his mother took a ride with one of Santa’s reindeer who had his own sleigh on Christmas day, and then months later she had Niko. She did not know Niko's father's name, just that he worked for Santa.

Nico runs away to find his father and when he finally gets to the North Pole, he finds Santa's reindeer then asks them all at a bar if any of them hooked up on Christmas day with a female reindeer, and they all laugh and say something like, "Who hasn’t?" Then they have Niko prove he can fly by jumping off a cliff, he can’t fly so they save him from his fall and tell Nico that none of them are his father.

Other stuff happens, and he ends up flying, and then I believe it is Blitzen who admits to Niko that he is the father, but he was too scared to admit it. I’m not sure what the lesson was there and in the end Niko goes home to his mom and squirrel surrogate dad. The comments on IMDB kind of mirror my dismay.

Rudolph, the Red-Nosted Reindeer is just as bad. One of my favorite parts is when they find out about Rudolph’s nose and Santa says to Rudolph's father, "Donner, you should be ashamed of yourself." I found a webpage that explains it better than I can, here are the money quotes:

‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ is a cleverly constructed, thinly veiled story of society’s intolerance towards minority groups and the isolation and depression that these groups experience along with the forgiveness that must muster in order to persevere.

He goes on to talk about forgiveness:

Similarly, just fifty years ago blacks had to endure separate-but-equal water fountains and had to enter through the rear entry of many hotels and restaurants. Years later when black athletes started to more heavily populate the NFL and NBA leagues they suddenly had access to a world that once and still to some degree reject them.

Basically the story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is that if you are different, you have no use to society, until you can prove your worth. Right after watching Rudolph, I watched a show on the Ironman Triathlon and it touched me to see all the folks with disabilities proving that they belong.  Well, everyone but this one guy who was missing a hand an a leg, he couldn't finish the marathon, I'm not sure where he belongs. 

Someone else should have made today's Junk Drawer.  Because I came up with a lame topic.

I think we need to come up with a ranking system for trade rumors.  In the past week all three Blazers point guard's names came up.  The Bayless rumor was probably the worst.  Andre Miller Day was a bust, and the Blake speculation that Ben linked on the front page looks like it was written to be a "Start Miller" FanPost on Blazers Edge.

I think the ranking should be something like this:

Mindless Speculation

Spectulation

Researched Speculation

Made Up Rumor

Rumor

Official Rumor

I think Andre Miller Day was Mindless Speculation, the Bayless Rumor was Made Up, and the Blake stuff was Researched Speculation.  I'm not sure if "ranking" is the correct term since something made up is probably worse than something someone came up with while playing with the trade machine.

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Everyone must be scared to make a FanPost, so I had to step up and make today's Junk Drawer.  I came to the conclusion well over a year ago that I jumped the shark on Blazers Edge.  Now that I really hate Miller, everyone thinks I'm joking.  It is lame to the extreme. 

I got the poem that is after the jump in my e-mail yesterday.

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It's the Civil War day.  Check out this quote from Chris Dufresne of the LA Times.

It's Oregon State versus Oregon, at Autzen Stadium, with the winner going to the Jan. 1 Rose Bowl and the loser likely headed back to Corvallis.

It's cool to be a Duck fan.  Most my teams suck or are mediocre.  The Blazers, Mariners, and Seahawks sure try hard but we all know in our hearts that they'll never win anything.  Now the Ducks are a different story.  Being a Duck fan is pretty much like being a Yankee's, Lakers, or Jimmie Johnson fan.  We just expect greatness.  I sure am glad I'm not a Beavers fan.

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What's your greatest fear?

Are you frightened that the Blazers will never win a championship while you are alive?

Are you scared of heights?

I know a lady who is afraid of clowns.

My biggest fear is being a 1,000 feet under water and a megalodon or some other ancient sea creature is stalking me, and I don't have enough oxygen to wait it out, and I can't escape to the surface because I'll get the bends.  The though of that happening keeps me up at night.

I also have frequent nightmares of getting punched in the butt hole.  If you've ever been punched there, then you know how bad it hurts.  Usually my nightmare involves me either getting punched there or taking a knee to the sphincter, and then I spend the next half hour in the fetal position holding my taint.  Sometimes the nightmare involves an evil person trying to get information out of me and they threaten me with a sphincter punch.  I never crack, but the stress leading up to the sphincter punch is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

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Look, just like every other Blazers fan in the entire world, I cannot wait for Kevin Pritchard to do some talent consolidation. I am sick and tired of watching great talent and great potential rot on the Blazers bench. Bayless is one DNP-CD away from turning into a Sebastian Telfair clone, Rudy Fernandez is so desperate to impress the coach that he is chucking up crazy shots like he is Ron Artest when Artest goes into chucker mode. Dante Cunningham leads the Blazers In PER’s, has only gotten 6 minutes of playing time, and Nicolas Batum has not played a minute this season.

Let’s face it; the Blazers are one loss away from imploding. There is simply too much talent on the roster to seriously consider the Blazers a championship team. If you take a look at the Lakers roster, you can see that the Blazers have no one on the roster crappy enough to match up with Adam Morrison or Didier Ilunga-Mbenga. Championship rosters need D-League level talent for balance. Think about it; say the Blazers won it all this year, which Blazer would fans from other teams say, "I can’t believe THAT GUY got a ring?" You might say Juwan Howard, but that’s kind of stretch since he is not a bad guy and he has been in the league longer than the internet has existed.

So, now I know what you are thinking, how do we get more scrubs on the Blazers roster and who should the Blazers ship out? Well, you will be happy to know, that it absolutely cannot and must not be Travis Outlaw. Outlaw has a stellar +/- of +30, just one below LeBron James. Basically Outlaw has been playing at a LeBron James level this year while LaMarcus Aldridge has a +/- of +3. Aldridge’s +/ is so crappy that the NBA.com +/- page doe not even list comparable players. I had to look at individual team rosters to find a comparable player. Watch today’s Grizzlies game and keep an eye on Hamed Haddai, because he has the same +/- as Aldridge. They are basically the same player only Aldridge makes way more money.

Now, before I give you the consolidation trade to beat all other consolidation trades, let me share with you some more numbers that will blow your mind. I am sure you think that Andre Miller should be the starter, well guess which five Blazers combined have the best +/-?

I will give you a moment to guess.
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Feel free to write it down.
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It should only take you a minute.
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I am sure you already had an idea, so if you have it written down, I will proceed.

The top five player combination for +/- on the Blazers, and the five players who should be starting are: Joel Przybilla, Travis Outlaw, Martell Webster, Rudy Fernandez and Jerryd Bayless with a combined +/- of +16. The most recent starting five comes in second at +12.

I am pretty sure I just blew your mind. I know you are like me and you are thinking, "The Blazers would be 7-0 if Nate would have gone with P.O.W.F.B. from the start of the season." Well, let me break it down for you a little more.

The Blazers best four player combination is Steve Blake, Aldridge, Brandon Roy, and Greg Oden with a +/- of +23. The best three player combination is Blake, Roy, and Oden at +33, and the best two player combination is Blake and Roy at +34.

Now, you all can see that adjustments HAVE to be mad and a consolidation trade MUST happen soon. The consensus at Blazers Edge is that a backup banger is needed and we all agree after reading the data I just presented to you, that Aldridge is the most expendable.

The trade that ABSOLUTELY MUST HAPPEN on December 15th is a trade of Aldridge and Batum (who is out and will not help the Blazers win NOW) for Anderson Varejao (+/- of +46), J.J. Hickson (+/- of -23) and Coby Karl (+/- of 0). Varejao would easily step in to replace Aldridge, Hickson is a scrub backup banger, and Karl is the guy who would not deserve a ring when the Blazers win it all. If that trade were to happen, the Blazers would likely not lose another game this season.

I would love to read your thoughts, please discuss.

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