SB Nation User Blog: tominhawaii

Trade Drawer - 12/21/09 - Nate Robinson for Andre Miller

tominhawaii — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 16:32:55 -0000

Adrian Wojnarowski is reporting that Nate Robinson wants to be traded from the Knicks. The problem is that Nate is a Base Year Compensation player. Basically, that means that trades don't work with him in the ESPN trade machine and he can veto any trade.

As many of you may know, I hate Andre Miller at a level that is up there with the types of folks being held in Guantanamo Bay Detention Center, and now that I think about it, I hope the government has done a background check on Miller. He is definitely hiding something.

Now, I don't have an exact trade to propose but I think Nate Robinson ($4 million this year) plus filler (they have about $3.3 million in three trade exceptions too, not sure if those work) for Andre Miller ($6.7 million for 2 years) would not be awesome, but way better than having Miller on the roster. Robinson played with and is friends with Brandon Roy and his game is quite similar to Jerryd Bayless's game. Robinson would also be a great mentor Bayless and Mills.

After the trade the Blazers could go back to starting Blake and have Robinson back him up. Bayless has been playing well and should probably be backing up Roy at this point with all the injuries. What do you guys think? Be gentle with me because this is my first serious trade proposal.

Junk Drawer 12/20/09 - Rudolph, Santa and Reindeer Discrimination

tominhawaii — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 13:07:48 -0000

The other day I recorded Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and The Flight Before Christmas, which was coming on after Rudolph, because it had Norm Macdonald as one of the voices. Yesterday, I watched all of The Flight Before Christmas and most of Rudolph, and both were disturbing.

The Flight Before Christmas is about a young reindeer named Niko who lives with his mother and a squirrel who also acts as Nico's surrogate father. Niko does not know who his real father is, just that his mother took a ride with one of Santa’s reindeer who had his own sleigh on Christmas day, and then months later she had Niko. She did not know Niko's father's name, just that he worked for Santa.

Nico runs away to find his father and when he finally gets to the North Pole, he finds Santa's reindeer then asks them all at a bar if any of them hooked up on Christmas day with a female reindeer, and they all laugh and say something like, "Who hasn’t?" Then they have Niko prove he can fly by jumping off a cliff, he can’t fly so they save him from his fall and tell Nico that none of them are his father.

Other stuff happens, and he ends up flying, and then I believe it is Blitzen who admits to Niko that he is the father, but he was too scared to admit it. I’m not sure what the lesson was there and in the end Niko goes home to his mom and squirrel surrogate dad. The comments on IMDB kind of mirror my dismay.

Rudolph, the Red-Nosted Reindeer is just as bad. One of my favorite parts is when they find out about Rudolph’s nose and Santa says to Rudolph's father, "Donner, you should be ashamed of yourself." I found a webpage that explains it better than I can, here are the money quotes:

‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ is a cleverly constructed, thinly veiled story of society’s intolerance towards minority groups and the isolation and depression that these groups experience along with the forgiveness that must muster in order to persevere.

He goes on to talk about forgiveness:

Similarly, just fifty years ago blacks had to endure separate-but-equal water fountains and had to enter through the rear entry of many hotels and restaurants. Years later when black athletes started to more heavily populate the NFL and NBA leagues they suddenly had access to a world that once and still to some degree reject them.

Basically the story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is that if you are different, you have no use to society, until you can prove your worth. Right after watching Rudolph, I watched a show on the Ironman Triathlon and it touched me to see all the folks with disabilities proving that they belong. Well, everyone but this one guy who was missing a hand an a leg, he couldn't finish the marathon, I'm not sure where he belongs.

Poll

We belong to?

Junk Drawer 12/16 - Worst Andre Miller Day Ever

tominhawaii — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 15:50:02 -0000

Someone else should have made today's Junk Drawer. Because I came up with a lame topic.

I think we need to come up with a ranking system for trade rumors. In the past week all three Blazers point guard's names came up. The Bayless rumor was probably the worst. Andre Miller Day was a bust, and the Blake speculation that Ben linked on the front page looks like it was written to be a "Start Miller" FanPost on Blazers Edge.

I think the ranking should be something like this:

Mindless Speculation

Spectulation

Researched Speculation

Made Up Rumor

Rumor

Official Rumor

I think Andre Miller Day was Mindless Speculation, the Bayless Rumor was Made Up, and the Blake stuff was Researched Speculation. I'm not sure if "ranking" is the correct term since something made up is probably worse than something someone came up with while playing with the trade machine.

If you don't like this topic, then what is your favorite John Cusack movie?

Poll

How long until Bayless is bald and shaves his head?

Trade Drawer 12-14-09

tominhawaii — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:44:47 -0000

Editors Note: This trade might not be legit, but the idea of getting rid of Bayless is 100% real. I'd trade him for a pair of old socks. It's the Trade Drawer, the Trade Drawer is like brainstorming, there are no bad ideas, and we should all be open to new avenues to get rid of Bayless. I really don't like Bayless.

Real Trade Update: Bayless for Barea

So, just like every Blazers fan in the entire word, I'm sick of Nate's mancrush on Bayless. Nate must be saving him for something. I think the best way I can avoid reading another post about Nate and Bayless is to trade Bayless off the roster.

Now, my trade won't be available until December 15, but I say we package Bayless, Batum, Fernandez, and Cunningham for Jarrett Jack. Jack makes, $5 million a year and those four Blazers make a combined $4,884,588.

The trade makes perfect sense. Bayless is a malcontent who is only good at doing a Ram-Man impersonation and barreling head first towards the basket in the hopes that the refs will bail him out. Batum is soft and purposely held off his surgery so he wouldn't have to play this year, and Rudy is always crying about "minutes." I like Cunningham, but I think trading him would really piss off the fans and that is pretty much my entire purpose of this trade drawer. Jack would really piss off the fans so obviously that's why I want him back.

Outgoing to the Raptors: Bayless, Batum, Fernandez, and Cunningham

Incoming to the Blazers: Jack

Bayless with Blake (Notice the clueless look on Jerryd's face)

via www.cartoonscrapbook.com

Rudy

via www.ddsite.com

Batum

via www.bustatoons.com

Cunningham

via www.ddsite.com

Jack with Blake

via images.fanpop.com

Junk Drawer 12/5/09 - Da Night Bafo Christmas

tominhawaii — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 16:19:40 -0000

Everyone must be scared to make a FanPost, so I had to step up and make today's Junk Drawer. I came to the conclusion well over a year ago that I jumped the shark on Blazers Edge. Now that I really hate Miller, everyone thinks I'm joking. It is lame to the extreme.

I got the poem that is after the jump in my e-mail yesterday.

“Da Night Bafo Christmas”

Was da night bafo’ Christmas, and all ova’ da place,
Not even da geckos was showin’ their face.

Da stockings was hangin’ on top da TV
(‘Cause no mo’ fireplace in Hawai’i)

Da kids stay all crashed, my old man too.
They leave all da work for you-know-who.

So me, I stay pickin’ up alla dea toys,
When – boom! – outside get only big noise!

I run to da window, I open ’em up,
I stick out my head and I yell, “Eh! Whassup?!”

And then, I no can ba-lieve what I seen!
Was so unreal, you know what I mean?

This fat haole guy get his reindeers in my yard!
And reindeers not housebroken, you know, as’ why hard!

But nemmind, this Christmas, so I cut ‘em some slack.
Plus, had uku pile presents pokin’ outta his sack!

So I wait ’till he pau tie up his reindeer,
Then I yell out da window, “Huui! Brah, ova hea!”

An’ I tell ’em first thing, when I open da door,
“Eh, Hemo your shoes! You going dirty my floor!”

He take off his boots, he tell, “You know who I am?”
I go, “Ho! From the smell, must be Mr. Toe Jam!”

He make mempachi eyes and he go, “Ho, ho, ho!”
By now, I stay thinking this guy kinda slow!

He look like my Tutu, but little less weight,
And his beard stay so white, mo’ white than shark bait!

He stay all in red, specially his nose,
And get reindeer spit on top his nice clothes!

But him, he no care; he just smile at me,
And he start fo’ put presents unda-neath da tree.

I tell ‘em, "Eh, brah, no need make li’dat,
And watch where you step! You going ma-ke da cat!"

Then, out from his bag, he pull one brand new computah,
Choke video games, and one motorized scootah!

He try for fill up da Christmas socks too,
But had so much pukas, all da stuff went fall troo.

When he pau, I tell ’em, “Eh Santa, try wait!
I get plenty leftovahs, I go make you one plate!”

But he nevah like hang, he had so much fo’ do;
Gotta make all them small kids’ wishes come true.

So I wave ’em goodbye, and I flash ’em da shaka,
And I tell ’em, “Mele Kalikimaka!”

When he hear that, he stop…and I telling you true,
He go, “Garans ball-barans! Merry Christmas to you!”

Poll

I'm watching the UH/Wisconsin game tonight instead of the Blazers game. (I'll record the Blazers game.) If UH wins, they get to go to a bowl game and most likely will be the game here against the Warriors former coach June Jones, who now coaches SMU.

Wreckx'n Effect - Rump Shaker

5 votes

Kelis - Milkshake

1 votes

Yellow and blue make green

3 votes

Let's go 'Bow!

3 votes

Badgers, We don't need no stinking Badgers

2 votes

14 votes | Poll has closed

Junk Drawer 12/3/09 - Civil War

tominhawaii — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 09:52:59 -0000

It's the Civil War day. Check out this quote from Chris Dufresne of the LA Times.

It's Oregon State versus Oregon, at Autzen Stadium, with the winner going to the Jan. 1 Rose Bowl and the loser likely headed back to Corvallis.

It's cool to be a Duck fan. Most my teams suck or are mediocre. The Blazers, Mariners, and Seahawks sure try hard but we all know in our hearts that they'll never win anything. Now the Ducks are a different story. Being a Duck fan is pretty much like being a Yankee's, Lakers, or Jimmie Johnson fan. We just expect greatness. I sure am glad I'm not a Beavers fan.

via raincoaster.files.wordpress.com

via 1.bp.blogspot.com

Poll

Who you for?

Ducks

40 votes

Beavers

28 votes

68 votes | Poll has closed

I hate to say it: Start Miller

tominhawaii — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:47:59 -0000

I was going to make this a comment in a FanShot then realized it would be better as its own FanPost. Watching the fans leave with over four minutes to go in the fourth quarter yesterday, made me realize that I am finally ready to jump on the start Miller bandwagon. I do not think he should start because he is better than Blake. I am not saying Blake is better, just that I do not care if the better player starts. I also do not think, like most Blazers fans, that Miller should start because he makes more money than Miller.

I have taken into consideration all the whining for Miller to start and Dave’s idea of feeding the ball to Oden at the start of games, and figure starting Miller is worth the shot just to stop the whining and if they are feeding the ball to Oden, then Roy will not be controlling the ball and kicking it out to the point guard for a wide open three. Also, starting Miller will be one less thing the asinine Fire Nate camp will have to complain about.

Let us consider some truths regarding the Blazers and Miller:

Miller only plays hard when he starts
Miller is willing to go to the national media to complain about not starting
Miller told Greg he likes to get him the ball, so we might as well see if he’ll actually do it
Miller has more veteran experience
Miller is a fast break point guard and fast breaks give Blazers fans chubbies
Webster was crappy off the bench and he’s inconsistent as a starter, so maybe an inconsistent Miller starting is better than a crappy Miller off the bench
If Miller stops pouting because he’s starting, then maybe everyone on the rosters, in the media, and the fans will cheer up and stop pouting
Miller starting can’t be any worse than Blake starting
Maybe starting Miller will be a "shot in the arm" to get the team playing better

I was all for Miller coming off the bench when the Blazers had most of their players healthy, and I am all for benching Miller if Batum or Outlaw comes back. But right now the Blazers are starting slow and not playing defense, so even an All Star point guard off the bench wouldn’t help the Blazers win these games.

I propose starting Miller, Roy, Oden, Aldridge, and Websters, until Batum comes back. No more fiddling with the lineup unless there is an injury. Play Miller with Oden and the second unit as much as Nate can, then when Roy needs to take over, play either Blake or Fernandez at the point guard, because Miller can’t even hit the backboard from past the three point line.

Poll

Which is worse?

An 11 year starting GUARD in the NBA and 4 years of college who never learned to hit a corner 3

115 votes

A 7 year mediocre starting guard who is often inconsistent

204 votes

319 votes | Poll has closed

Junk Drawer 11/22/09 - Your Greatest Fear

tominhawaii — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 15:20:41 -0000

What's your greatest fear?

Are you frightened that the Blazers will never win a championship while you are alive?

Are you scared of heights?

I know a lady who is afraid of clowns.

My biggest fear is being a 1,000 feet under water and a megalodon or some other ancient sea creature is stalking me, and I don't have enough oxygen to wait it out, and I can't escape to the surface because I'll get the bends. The though of that happening keeps me up at night.

I also have frequent nightmares of getting punched in the butt hole. If you've ever been punched there, then you know how bad it hurts. Usually my nightmare involves me either getting punched there or taking a knee to the sphincter, and then I spend the next half hour in the fetal position holding my taint. Sometimes the nightmare involves an evil person trying to get information out of me and they threaten me with a sphincter punch. I never crack, but the stress leading up to the sphincter punch is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Oregon Ducks Cheerleader Katelynn Johnson Injured After Being Hit With A Bottle

Poll

We got two weeks of guys arguing about the Civil War in the Junk Drawer. Who you got?

Ducks

28 votes

Beavers

22 votes

I don't care

21 votes

71 votes | Poll has closed

Looking to Consolidate the Blazers Talent? Well Guess Who has the Highest +/-? Also Blazers vs. Grizzlies Game Preview

tominhawaii — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:43:31 -0000

Look, just like every other Blazers fan in the entire world, I cannot wait for Kevin Pritchard to do some talent consolidation. I am sick and tired of watching great talent and great potential rot on the Blazers bench. Bayless is one DNP-CD away from turning into a Sebastian Telfair clone, Rudy Fernandez is so desperate to impress the coach that he is chucking up crazy shots like he is Ron Artest when Artest goes into chucker mode. Dante Cunningham leads the Blazers In PER’s, has only gotten 6 minutes of playing time, and Nicolas Batum has not played a minute this season.

Let’s face it; the Blazers are one loss away from imploding. There is simply too much talent on the roster to seriously consider the Blazers a championship team. If you take a look at the Lakers roster, you can see that the Blazers have no one on the roster crappy enough to match up with Adam Morrison or Didier Ilunga-Mbenga. Championship rosters need D-League level talent for balance. Think about it; say the Blazers won it all this year, which Blazer would fans from other teams say, "I can’t believe THAT GUY got a ring?" You might say Juwan Howard, but that’s kind of stretch since he is not a bad guy and he has been in the league longer than the internet has existed.

So, now I know what you are thinking, how do we get more scrubs on the Blazers roster and who should the Blazers ship out? Well, you will be happy to know, that it absolutely cannot and must not be Travis Outlaw. Outlaw has a stellar +/- of +30, just one below LeBron James. Basically Outlaw has been playing at a LeBron James level this year while LaMarcus Aldridge has a +/- of +3. Aldridge’s +/ is so crappy that the NBA.com +/- page doe not even list comparable players. I had to look at individual team rosters to find a comparable player. Watch today’s Grizzlies game and keep an eye on Hamed Haddai, because he has the same +/- as Aldridge. They are basically the same player only Aldridge makes way more money.

Now, before I give you the consolidation trade to beat all other consolidation trades, let me share with you some more numbers that will blow your mind. I am sure you think that Andre Miller should be the starter, well guess which five Blazers combined have the best +/-?

I will give you a moment to guess.
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Feel free to write it down.
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It should only take you a minute.
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I am sure you already had an idea, so if you have it written down, I will proceed.

The top five player combination for +/- on the Blazers, and the five players who should be starting are: Joel Przybilla, Travis Outlaw, Martell Webster, Rudy Fernandez and Jerryd Bayless with a combined +/- of +16. The most recent starting five comes in second at +12.

I am pretty sure I just blew your mind. I know you are like me and you are thinking, "The Blazers would be 7-0 if Nate would have gone with P.O.W.F.B. from the start of the season." Well, let me break it down for you a little more.

The Blazers best four player combination is Steve Blake, Aldridge, Brandon Roy, and Greg Oden with a +/- of +23. The best three player combination is Blake, Roy, and Oden at +33, and the best two player combination is Blake and Roy at +34.

Now, you all can see that adjustments HAVE to be mad and a consolidation trade MUST happen soon. The consensus at Blazers Edge is that a backup banger is needed and we all agree after reading the data I just presented to you, that Aldridge is the most expendable.

The trade that ABSOLUTELY MUST HAPPEN on December 15th is a trade of Aldridge and Batum (who is out and will not help the Blazers win NOW) for Anderson Varejao (+/- of +46), J.J. Hickson (+/- of -23) and Coby Karl (+/- of 0). Varejao would easily step in to replace Aldridge, Hickson is a scrub backup banger, and Karl is the guy who would not deserve a ring when the Blazers win it all. If that trade were to happen, the Blazers would likely not lose another game this season.

I would love to read your thoughts, please discuss.

GAME PREVIEW: Blazers vs. Grizzlies

Dave did a fine preview on the mainpage, but I thought I should throw my hat into the ring and give it the old BEdge try. If there is one thing that is lacking at BlazersEdge, it is duplicate FanPosts.

Tonight, the red hot Portland Trail Blazers take on the douche cold Memphis Grizzlies. The Grizzlies are know for three things: they were once a proud franchise in Vancouver, Canada, they traded Pau Gasol to the Lakers for a handful of magic beans, and last year their incompetent GM, Chris Wallace, signed and played Darius Miles to throw a wrench into the Blazers offseason capspace plans and to get whatever luxury tax benefits his team would receive from Portland going over the cap.

The Miles signing is hailed by many Grizzlies fans as the greatest thing to happen to the franchise because Portland sent the now infamous e-mail to all GM’s regarding signing Miles, and because of that e-mail, people actually paid attention the Grizzlies. It was the greatest two weeks in Grizzlies history.

The Grizzlies roster is full of ball hogs and backups. Only two players have a positive +/-, Zach Randolph with a +11 and Trey Glider with a +2. The only other player worth mentioning is Mike Conley because he is friends with Oden, and because of that relationship; his name often comes up in trade speculations. The best way to describe the Grizzlies roster is a Cluster #$@*!

I cannot think of anything else worth mentioning about the pitiful Grizzlies, except that we can probably expect a lot of Outlaw’s family to be there, since they live relatively close in Mississippi.

The Blazes should dominate this game with a final score of 137-72.

Poll

Which do you prefer?

Consolidation FanPosts

25 votes

Consolidated FanPosts

103 votes

128 votes | Poll has closed

Junk Drawer - 10/24/09 - Go Ducks & Go Beavs

tominhawaii — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:00:39 -0000

I have made an effort this year to make fewer FanPosts, FanShots, and Junk Drawers, but I saw a need that had to be filled. The beautiful and talented galacticlove made a Junk Drawer just ten hours ago, and it already has close to 800 comments. The hamster in Southern Oregon's computer will not be able to generate enough energy to read the Junk Drawer once it reaches 1,000 comments. For Southern Oregon's sake, I made this one.

via www.uinotebook.com

Please talk about fantasy basketball in the other Junk Drawer and save this Junk Drawer for U of O and OSU games. They both should win handily. Sophia said on Facebook that both teams will lose today. She is wrong.

A quick reminder, Breast Cancer Awareness month is winding down. I recommend donating what you can to the American Cancer Society and/or BlazersEdge Night. (BlazersEdge night is not related, but figured it deserved a link.)

via www.cammyproductions.com (Warning, never ever, ever photo search for "breast cancer" when you mean to search for "breast cancer awareness.")

Poll

What is your favorite fruit size?

Grapes

4 votes

Strawberries

1 votes

Plums

1 votes

Peaches

10 votes

Apples

5 votes

Pears

2 votes

Oranges

9 votes

Grapefruit

7 votes

Mellons

15 votes

54 votes | Poll has closed