SB Nation User Blog: tominhawaii

Looking to Consolidate the Blazers Talent? Well Guess Who has the Highest +/-? Also Blazers vs. Grizzlies Game Preview

tominhawaii — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:43:31 -0000

Look, just like every other Blazers fan in the entire world, I cannot wait for Kevin Pritchard to do some talent consolidation. I am sick and tired of watching great talent and great potential rot on the Blazers bench. Bayless is one DNP-CD away from turning into a Sebastian Telfair clone, Rudy Fernandez is so desperate to impress the coach that he is chucking up crazy shots like he is Ron Artest when Artest goes into chucker mode. Dante Cunningham leads the Blazers In PER’s, has only gotten 6 minutes of playing time, and Nicolas Batum has not played a minute this season.

Let’s face it; the Blazers are one loss away from imploding. There is simply too much talent on the roster to seriously consider the Blazers a championship team. If you take a look at the Lakers roster, you can see that the Blazers have no one on the roster crappy enough to match up with Adam Morrison or Didier Ilunga-Mbenga. Championship rosters need D-League level talent for balance. Think about it; say the Blazers won it all this year, which Blazer would fans from other teams say, "I can’t believe THAT GUY got a ring?" You might say Juwan Howard, but that’s kind of stretch since he is not a bad guy and he has been in the league longer than the internet has existed.

So, now I know what you are thinking, how do we get more scrubs on the Blazers roster and who should the Blazers ship out? Well, you will be happy to know, that it absolutely cannot and must not be Travis Outlaw. Outlaw has a stellar +/- of +30, just one below LeBron James. Basically Outlaw has been playing at a LeBron James level this year while LaMarcus Aldridge has a +/- of +3. Aldridge’s +/ is so crappy that the NBA.com +/- page doe not even list comparable players. I had to look at individual team rosters to find a comparable player. Watch today’s Grizzlies game and keep an eye on Hamed Haddai, because he has the same +/- as Aldridge. They are basically the same player only Aldridge makes way more money.

Now, before I give you the consolidation trade to beat all other consolidation trades, let me share with you some more numbers that will blow your mind. I am sure you think that Andre Miller should be the starter, well guess which five Blazers combined have the best +/-?

I will give you a moment to guess.
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Feel free to write it down.
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It should only take you a minute.
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I am sure you already had an idea, so if you have it written down, I will proceed.

The top five player combination for +/- on the Blazers, and the five players who should be starting are: Joel Przybilla, Travis Outlaw, Martell Webster, Rudy Fernandez and Jerryd Bayless with a combined +/- of +16. The most recent starting five comes in second at +12.

I am pretty sure I just blew your mind. I know you are like me and you are thinking, "The Blazers would be 7-0 if Nate would have gone with P.O.W.F.B. from the start of the season." Well, let me break it down for you a little more.

The Blazers best four player combination is Steve Blake, Aldridge, Brandon Roy, and Greg Oden with a +/- of +23. The best three player combination is Blake, Roy, and Oden at +33, and the best two player combination is Blake and Roy at +34.

Now, you all can see that adjustments HAVE to be mad and a consolidation trade MUST happen soon. The consensus at Blazers Edge is that a backup banger is needed and we all agree after reading the data I just presented to you, that Aldridge is the most expendable.

The trade that ABSOLUTELY MUST HAPPEN on December 15th is a trade of Aldridge and Batum (who is out and will not help the Blazers win NOW) for Anderson Varejao (+/- of +46), J.J. Hickson (+/- of -23) and Coby Karl (+/- of 0). Varejao would easily step in to replace Aldridge, Hickson is a scrub backup banger, and Karl is the guy who would not deserve a ring when the Blazers win it all. If that trade were to happen, the Blazers would likely not lose another game this season.

I would love to read your thoughts, please discuss.

GAME PREVIEW: Blazers vs. Grizzlies

Dave did a fine preview on the mainpage, but I thought I should throw my hat into the ring and give it the old BEdge try. If there is one thing that is lacking at BlazersEdge, it is duplicate FanPosts.

Tonight, the red hot Portland Trail Blazers take on the douche cold Memphis Grizzlies. The Grizzlies are know for three things: they were once a proud franchise in Vancouver, Canada, they traded Pau Gasol to the Lakers for a handful of magic beans, and last year their incompetent GM, Chris Wallace, signed and played Darius Miles to throw a wrench into the Blazers offseason capspace plans and to get whatever luxury tax benefits his team would receive from Portland going over the cap.

The Miles signing is hailed by many Grizzlies fans as the greatest thing to happen to the franchise because Portland sent the now infamous e-mail to all GM’s regarding signing Miles, and because of that e-mail, people actually paid attention the Grizzlies. It was the greatest two weeks in Grizzlies history.

The Grizzlies roster is full of ball hogs and backups. Only two players have a positive +/-, Zach Randolph with a +11 and Trey Glider with a +2. The only other player worth mentioning is Mike Conley because he is friends with Oden, and because of that relationship; his name often comes up in trade speculations. The best way to describe the Grizzlies roster is a Cluster #$@*!

I cannot think of anything else worth mentioning about the pitiful Grizzlies, except that we can probably expect a lot of Outlaw’s family to be there, since they live relatively close in Mississippi.

The Blazes should dominate this game with a final score of 137-72.

Poll

Which do you prefer?

Junk Drawer - 10/24/09 - Go Ducks & Go Beavs

tominhawaii — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:00:39 -0000

I have made an effort this year to make fewer FanPosts, FanShots, and Junk Drawers, but I saw a need that had to be filled. The beautiful and talented galacticlove made a Junk Drawer just ten hours ago, and it already has close to 800 comments. The hamster in Southern Oregon's computer will not be able to generate enough energy to read the Junk Drawer once it reaches 1,000 comments. For Southern Oregon's sake, I made this one.

via www.uinotebook.com

Please talk about fantasy basketball in the other Junk Drawer and save this Junk Drawer for U of O and OSU games. They both should win handily. Sophia said on Facebook that both teams will lose today. She is wrong.

A quick reminder, Breast Cancer Awareness month is winding down. I recommend donating what you can to the American Cancer Society and/or BlazersEdge Night. (BlazersEdge night is not related, but figured it deserved a link.)

via www.cammyproductions.com (Warning, never ever, ever photo search for "breast cancer" when you mean to search for "breast cancer awareness.")

Poll

What is your favorite fruit size?

Grapes

4 votes

Strawberries

1 votes

Plums

1 votes

Peaches

10 votes

Apples

5 votes

Pears

2 votes

Oranges

9 votes

Grapefruit

7 votes

Mellons

15 votes

54 votes | Poll has closed

Junk Drawer, Thursday, October 15th, 2009

tominhawaii — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 09:39:35 -0000

Like most of you, I can't wait for this season to get over so we can really get into the draft. Follow me after the jump.

I just put seven jumps in this post to see what would happen.

I think nothing will happen. ~~(If preview means anything, then only one worked.)~~ (I've since published it and it didn't work. And they are all gone in this window I am typing in.)

Nbadraft.net has the Blazers picking 24th in the 2010 draft. Anyone excited about Michael Washington from Arkansas?

More like the 30th pick if you ask me.

The Zer's are going all the way this year baby. Woo Yeah!!! Go Blazers! Blazers Rule, Lakers Drool!

I'm watching Catwoman right now. I knew it was going to be bad when I rented it. I'm laughing at the parts that would make me mad if someone had told me it was a good movie. Do you ever watch movies that you know ahead of time are going to be bad and you watch them anyway?

I'm having trouble with Photobucket, so I can't make this picture any bigger. Do you like what this photo represents?

via farm4.static.flickr.com

What do you think of this video?

Another poll I thought of asking is, "If I told you a fence was electric, would you touch it anyway?" My answer would be "yes."

Poll

What is your favorite poll?

North Pole

7 votes

South Pole

0 votes

Pole Smokers

5 votes

Pol Pot

0 votes

Strippers Poles

18 votes

Gallup Polls

3 votes

This Poll

8 votes

Magnetic Poles

4 votes

Telephones

2 votes

Barber Poles

5 votes

52 votes | Poll has closed

Junk Drawer 9/28 - I Hate Christmas

tominhawaii — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 10:09:53 -0000

I hate Christmas. It is the worst holiday ever. I hate that is is in the winter. I hate that I have to fly to some cold place in an airport filled with jerks, on an airplane filled with sick people, to spend the day eating too much, and opening gifts that I don't want.

I hate spending the day with family when there is football and basketball on. I hate that I can't watch every game because of Christmas. I hate that I can't go to the Blazers game on Christmas because I have to spend that day with family.

I hate wasting vacation time on Christmas when I could use that time and money spent flying home, to do something fun.

I hate Christmas cards. I hate sending them and I hate getting one from someone that I forgot to send one too.

The same goes for Christmas gifts. It's no longer about giving someone something from the heart; it's about giving them something better than someone else gave them, or buying them exactly what they want because they'll just return your heartfelt crap.

I hate Christmas shopping.

I hate Christmas traffic.

I hate how everyone is pissy around the holidays.

I hate Christmas carols.

I hate that Christmas crap comes out in the stores around Halloween.

I hate Christmas decorations.

I hate when idiots on either side say a Christmas tree is a religious symbol.

I do like that you can rearrange the letters in "Santa" to spell, "Satan."

Poll

Does Christmas suck?

Yes

22 votes

No, I love Christmas and the Lakers and Kobe and Shaq

25 votes

Undecided

14 votes

I don't celebrate Christmas

6 votes

67 votes | Poll has closed

Does Kevin Pritchard Know How to Bake a Cake?

tominhawaii — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:25:33 -0000

For over two years, Kevin Pritchard has told us that building the Trail Blazer’s team is a "process" and that it is similar to "baking a cake." Has anyone ever bothered to ask Pritchard if he has ever baked a cake? I personally do not know Pritchard that well, but I do not imagine he spends a lot of his free time in the kitchen.

I am not much of a cook, if I cannot make it into a sandwich or cook everything in one pan, because I hate doing dishes, then I do not bother. Baking on the other hand is a different story. I find it relaxing and although I do not bake very often, I am pretty good at it. Over my years of baking breads, cookies, cakes, and the like, the only thing I really messed up were some muffins. The recipe called for some berries and I used frozen berries with too much ice on them, which caused the muffins to come out so dense that many of them collapsed into themselves and became black holes. A few of the black holes muffins are now with the Grizzlies.

My wife is a great cook but has trouble baking because she likes to eyeball the ingredients. I, on the other hand, am kind of anal retentive and measure everything precisely. My wife is normally responsible for bringing in a cake to work for her coworker's birthdays, and I normally bake them for her. We even have a round cake caddy, so I normally bake the cakes in two nine inch pans and make a stacked cake.

If I am in a rush, I will bake a cake from a box mixed, but I prefer to mix and bake the cake from scratch. My favorite recipe is a Betty Crocker carrot cake. I follow the recipe almost exactly, except I do not include the walnuts, because it seems like there is always someone who is allergic to nuts.

A cake out of the box is very simple, just a few steps that involve preheating the oven, greasing the pan, mixing the box with an egg or two, some oil, and water. Then you bake the cake, take it out of the oven, let it cool, and then frost it.

Making a cake from scratch take a little more work, but it is not overwhelming. I will assume that when Pritchard uses the cake analogy, he is talking about a cake from scratch. Here is my bare bones explanation of baking a cake.

1. Find a recipe
2. Collect the ingredients
3. Preheat the oven
4. Grease and flour the cake pan or pans
5. Mix the cake ingredients
6. Pour the cake mix into a pan
7. Put the cake in the oven
8. Bake the cake for 30-45 minutes depending on the pans and other factors
9. Remove the cake from the oven and let it cool 10 minutes
10. Remove the cake from the pan and cool the cake on a wire rack
11. Mix the frosting ingredients
12. Frost the cake, if it is a double-decker cake, then frost one of the cakes round side up
13. With a double-decker, place the second cake on the frosted cake, round side down, then frost it as well
14. Decorate the cake

There you have it, fourteen steps that could easily be trimmed back to ten. Now that we all know about cake baking, it is time to ask the questions that really matter.

Does Kevin Pritchard have any experience baking a cake?
If the Blazers are a cake, what is the step they are currently on?
Regarding the last step of decorating the cake, is that winning a championship or winning multiple championships?
Is eating the cake a step, and if so, would that be the parade?
Is there a conspiracy in the media to cover up Pritchard’s poor cake baking skills?
Can Pritchard bake a cake that is worth eating?
Would the media eat the cake?

These are all questions that deserve answers and they also bring another question to light.

Why hasn’t the media address Pritchard’s baking ability?

All these questions deserve answers, yet the Portland media gave Pritchard a free pass at the last media day. Will one of them step up and ask the tough questions that need asked, or will they instead write another fluff piece on the fifteenth roster spot? I would like to read your thoughts on the matter.

Poll

Does Kevin Pritchard have experience baking a cake?

Yes

78 votes

No

54 votes

Undecided

73 votes

205 votes | Poll has closed

No Country for Old Junk 9-9-09

tominhawaii — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 08:40:13 -0000

My anonymous sources have given me information that implies that the 92's JD record may not be legit. The information is below.

09/09/09 This Day Will Live In Infamy

RE: Blazersedge Junk Drawer Record

Cablinasian Technology Center (CTC) has learned that 92wastheyear's record for Junk Drawer futility has been broken. The ambiguously named perpetrator has consistently stated that his Junk Drawer created on August 29th, 2008 holds the distinction as Least Commented Junk Drawer. Unfortunately for Mr. Wastheyear, he was upstaged by a literary genius of a higher order, EngineerScotty. Mr. Scotty managed to stump the entire Blazersedge community, creating a Junk Drawer only witnessed and commented in by the author and one other Blazersedge regular: annthefan of Parts Unknown, USA.

Annthefan's comment at the time seems to hint that she understood the historical significance of Mr. Scotty's Junk Drawer:

You are soooooooo misunderstood. 8^( Do you win?

While annthefan may have tried to conceal the record for 92wastheyear, the truth eventually came to the surface. Her intent in the matter is currently unknown, though CTC continues to search for clarity in the matter.

This landmark piece of literature was composed on March 22nd, 2009. CTC has determined through a thorough study of the Blazersedge FanPost archives that Mr. Scotty did indeed post the only Junk Drawer of the day, meaning that he broke no rules in his record-setting literary conquest. The research of this matter is meticulously noted in the bibliography.

This great heist of the Junk Drawer record was accomplished through a miraculous confluence of events. The futile Junk Drawer was posted to the site during the immensely-popular NCAA March Madness tournament. This meant that Mr. Scotty's Junk Drawer would be in direct competition with the Blazersedge March Madness Open Thread. This, combined with the late-season success of the Portland Trail Blazers and the fact that March 22nd, 2009 was a Sunday, made for a once-in-a-website opportunity.

Cablinasian
Founder
Cablinasian Technology Center

Works Cited
Wastheyear, 92. Junk Drawer 8-29. Blazersedge.com. 29 Aug 2008.

Scotty, Engineer. 3/22 KNUJ Reward--radio station prediction contest. Blazersedge.com. 22 Mar 2009.

FanPosts - Blazersedge - A site by Blazer fans, for Blazer fans. Blazersedge.com 22 Mar 2009.

Troll, Norsk. March 22 Madness Gameday Thread. Blazersedge.com 22 Mar 2009.

Contest Entry

tominhawaii — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 02:34:06 -0000

My Personal Greatest Blazer Moment

On Sunday, April 29th, 2001, just after watching Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal’s Lakers sweep the Portland Trail Blazers, on their way to their second of three championships in as many years, I went on a walk and reflected on the past year. Just a year before, my favorite team was one quarter away from the going to the NBA Finals and onto a probable NBA championship. I had to find out went wrong.

I contemplated the past season’s transactions. Was it the signing of Will Perdue that caused the downfall of the Blazers? What about the acquisition of Shawn Kemp, Dale Davis, or the loss of Brian Grant and Jermaine O’Neal? Should I blame Rod Strickland, who was signed in April? How could a team coached to 50 wins by Mike Dunleavy get swept in the playoff? I walked for miles, almost in a daze until I realized that it was not the coach’s fault, the player’s fault, or even the General Manager Bob Whitsitt’s fault. The real reason the Blazers imploded into the Jail Blazers, was me.

Some Background

On Sunday, June 4th, 2000, just after watching Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal’s Lakers defeat the Portland Trail Blazers, on their way to their first of three championships in as many years, I went on a walk and reflected on the past year. I was very upset over the Blazers collapse in the forth quarter. The defining play is the 48th greatest play in Playoff history. Who can forget Kobe making Scottie Pippen look like a department store door, as his gently slid out of Kobe’s way to an ally-oop dunk by Shaq? In case you forgot, here is the video. The play was so epic, that it was also made into an NBA "Where Amazing Happens" commercial.

While on my walk, I realized the players and coaches did everything they could. If I were going to blame anyone for the loss, I would have to blame the referees. Since there were no hard feelings with the team, I decided to send a thank you card to all the players. I wanted to thank them for an exciting season and wish them good luck the next year. I thought a card might lift their spirits and would rally them for the next season. I never sent the cards.

After the sweep in 2001, and on my walk, it hit me. I stopped dead in my tracks and dropped to my knees and began to weep. I realized that I cause the collapse. My failure to send thank you cards to all the players, was the one thing that could have unified the team and made them greater. Instead, the media and fans piled on, and the GM panicked.

After about an hour of crying, rocking back and forth, and holding myself, I got up and brushed myself off. I surveyed my surroundings and realized I was on the west side of town. I was living in Eugene at the time and I was on one of the many bike paths. I gathered myself and found the closest bar on West 11th.

The bar was a crappy country bar and I ordered a beer and a shot of Wild Turkey. The bartender said I looked troubled and I replied, "Leave the bottle." After I finished the bottle, the bartender cut me off and told me he was calling me a cab. I paid my tab, and told him, "You don’t know how I feel. I let them all down." Then I stumbled out into the street.

I stopped in a Dairy Mart and bought a 64 oz Old English 800. The guy behind the counter did not bother or care that I was already inebriated. I walked out of the store and back down the bike path to my home. Along the way I stopped under a tree and started drinking.

About halfway through my 64 oz, three men came upon me. One was wearing a leather jacket and the other two were wearing camouflage jackets. They were all three homeless. One was named Tommyknocker, another The Apache Kid, and the third was Clarence. I shared my 64 oz with them and gave Clarence some money to go get some more beer. The Apache Kid shared a marijuana cigarette with me that I later found out was laced with PCP. We drank late into the morning and at some point I passed out.

The next morning, I awoke to the sound of a woman screaming. I looked around and had no idea where I was. I was on a grassy bank of a little creek, completely naked, and a nutria rat was licking something that looked like peanut butter off my genitals. I had no idea what was going on, only that the woman was screaming because of me and I was probably in the Amazon Canal. I grabbed an empty 24 pack of Icehouse beer, ripped it in half to cover myself, and started running. It did not take me long to realize I was close to my friend's house so I ran straight there.

My friend let me take a shower and loaned me some clothes. We walked back to where I woke up and found my wallet with my ID in it, but my credit cards and cash were gone. There was also no sign of my clothes or of my homeless friends. A few weeks later, I drove past Clarence wearing my pants and he was with Tommyknocker who was wearing my shoes. I did not bother to stop because I really did not want my clothes after homeless guys wore them.

After canceling all my credit cards, I went on another walk and tried to think of how I could make amends to the Blazers for causing their collapse. I decided on Monday, April 30th, 2001 that from that day forward I would follow the Blazer faithfully forever. I told myself that they could sign a rapist, get caught doing drugs, punch a teammate, dog fight, or carry a gun onto a plane and I would still love them. Upon hindsight, I realized I might have been a little two specific, because all of those things ended up happening. I am thankful that I did not list murder as well.

So, my personal greatest Blazers moment was the day after the Blazers were swept from the playoffs by the Los Angeles Lakers. It was the day I realized, nay, I vowed, to love the Blazers unconditionally for the rest of my life. It is a decision I have never regretted.

Junk Drawer - 7/19/09

tominhawaii — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 12:37:39 -0000

I found that cool optical illusion here. Here are some more optical illusions. I really don't have anything creative to say. I just wanted to start a new Junk Drawer because the last one was full.

The other day I introduced myself to a woman and told her my name was "Gus." About five minutes later I introduced myself to someone else and said my name was "Tom." The first woman heard my second introduction, and got really angry with me and made me feel uncomfortable. She was lame.

Poll

What is the best nickname for Jerryd Bayless?

J Bay Bay, because the Blazers are my favorite team

18 votes

B Rex or Rex, because I love cancer and John Canzano and I don't support the troops

23 votes

J Bay, because I also like Jason Bay

8 votes

Other, because I think I'm better than you

31 votes

80 votes | Poll has closed

Junk Drawer 7/7/09 - Ugly Clothes

tominhawaii — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 12:50:55 -0000

I'm watching a replay of yesterday's Courtside and Wendell Maxey has on an ugly shirt. He also has a neat Oden article on his webthingy.

My wife hates it when I wear my Red Green shirt. I think it's funny and she is just being mean. I used to watch Red Green all the time. That show is funny.

via www.redgreenshop.com

Do you have an ugly shirt that you like and no one else seems to care for?

Poll

What is grosser than gross?

Lima Beans

16 votes

Meecrob

8 votes

Dinuguan

10 votes

34 votes | Poll has closed

Junk Drawer 7/3 - Why signing Hedo means we'll have to trade Batum?

tominhawaii — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:16:39 -0000

Corvid had a neat comment in another thread.

I don’t think homo sapiens are wired to deal with uncertainty very well. One of the the things I love about this time of year is seeing how different people respond to the suspense. Some people step back and and get superanalytical; some put their faith in their fearless leader; some strive to uncover every piece of information and solve the puzzle; and yes, some go nuts. It makes for very interesting reading.

What kind of person on you?

Poll

Do you like crust?

Yes

118 votes

No

24 votes

Undecided

19 votes

Pizza crust but not bread crust

56 votes

217 votes | Poll has closed