Here's an idea: trade Simpson and Caldwell for a good kicker and maybe a low draft pick. 

In my mind, Simpson and Caldwell are never going to be what we need them to be, a solid #1 and #2 duo.  I see Briscoe as a much better prospect than Simpson, and Shipley as a much better prospect than Caldwell. 

We have a bunch of receivers stockpiled behind the big 3 (Ocho, Bryant, Owens).  I say we bet on Briscoe and Shipley and even keep Jones and/or Cosby and we let Caldwell and Simpson be of better use in a trade.

If we've been so bold as to sign Owens, I say we match that boldness and trade away those two.

First, I need to get something off my back, F**K YOU MARVIN LEWIS.  We could've had one of the best drafts in a long time if it wasn't for our 5th round pick.  I don't care if this Otis whatshisface turns out to be the best O linemen in Bengal's history, as of now, it was the worst pick of the century.  What made it so bad is not only the guy we picked, but the guys we could've picked.  LARRY ASANTE, RESHAD JONES.  It is unforgivable to pass on two SOLID if not great safety picks in the mother fucking 5th round when safety was our second, if not first most pressing need in this draft.  I'm sorry for the bad words, but this is just too much.  Marvin Lewis is ridiculous sometimes.  We have absolutely no depth at safety.  We have two aging, injury prone starting safeties, with one so-so back up and another laughable back up.  It was one of the worst decicions I"ve ever seen made by not taking one of those two safeties.  Who cares if Otis whatshisface wasn't available in the 6th!  Who gives a f**k!!!  The guy is a P-R-O-J-E-C-T who is so obscure that even NFL.com doesn't have a height oR weight stat on him (according to walterfootball.com).  With that said, I do have to admit, it was a darn good draft, solid and smart (except for the 5th round).

Snoozefest picks:  Jermain Gresham and Geno Atkins

Intriguing picks: Brandon Ghee, Carlos Dunlap and Jordan Shipley

Unbearable-to-look-at-wanna-put-a-bullet-to-your-head-you-can't-believe-pick: Otis Hudson

Steal of the draft (for Bengals): Dezmon Briscoe

Irrelevant picks: Reggie Stephens and Roddrick Muckelroy 

1st. Jermain Gresham is going to be a monster for us, I think it was a very smart and solid pick.

2nd. Carlos Dunlap is a big question mark.  I personally wanted Terrance Cody, Chad Jones, or Everson Griffien (I could not believe he fell that far).

3rd.  Jordan Shipley.  At first I didn't agree.  Then I completely reversed my point of view.  We just picked up a better version of Wes Welker.

3rd A.  The only reason I like that pick is because he got invited to the draft's green room, so I assume he must be good.  Plus he had a late 1st to 2nd round status.

4th. Geno Atkins is also a big question mark a-la Carlos Dunlap though I have a feeling he's going to be a great rotation DT.

4th A.  Roddrick Muckelroy is also a solid yet wait-and-see kind of pick.  He should be a good back up.

5th.  F**K YOU MARVIN LEWIS.  What the f**k are you going to do when both of our starting safeties go down with injuries?  Ndukwe and Nelson, yeeeeyyy!!!

6th.  The steal of the draft.  This guy was a late 2nd to 3rd rounder.  SOLID possession receiver.  

7th.  If he provides solid back up duties I'll be satisfied.   

So in essence, fuck you Marvin Lewis for effectively ruining what could've been one of the best drafts in recent years.  Choosing Asante or Jones in the 5th would have been un-freaking believable.  All in all, solid draft.  B+

Ok B fans, I know the combine is not that important.  Maybe it affects the coaches view around 5%, the other 95% is pure college film.  But some players did raise some eyebrows.  Here is my new top 5 wish list for the Bengals.  I won't consider compensatory picks so these picks mean 1 for each round, duh.

1. Sean Weatherspoon, OLB

2. Reshad Jones, SS/FS

3. Jimmy Graham, TE

4. Andre Roberts, WR

5. Geno Atkins, DT

I'd be happy with this draft.

Hello Bengal fans.  I know it's way too early to say, but I thought I'd post my ideal first 4 picks of this upcoming draft.  Keep in mind that we have Senior Bowl coming up on Saturday, which is going to shift some analyst views on some players.  That, together with the upcoming NFL combine coming up late in February, is going to ultimately shift scout sentiment up to the draft at the end of April.  

I feel that this year, with the exception of a couple of positions, we are mostly going to draft for value, not need.  With that said, here is what I think we need in order of importance:

1. WR: If we don't give Palmer some weapons, we're never going to the Super Bowl.

2. S: Ndukwe and Crocker are O.K. but I'm not sure I want to make them my starters for years to come.  Roy is pretty good but his injury is in question.

3. TE: This is our weakest position in my mind but one that should be addressed via free agency.  Kelly's status is unknown and Coffman is a big question mark up to this point.

4. G: Williams is getting up there in age and I'm not sure Mathis or Livings are the answer.

Other areas of need not as imminent as the above that need attention are: K,DT, CB.

So here they are, my two cents for the 1st four picks of the draft.  

1. WR: Damian Williams, USC

2. S: Rashad Jones, Georgia

3. TE: Anthony Mccoy, USC

4. G: John Jerry, Ole Miss

Feel free to post you 1st four picks.

In the words of Marvin Lewis in a press conference I don't remember when: "You don't win games with passion, you win with execution."  Well let me tell you something Mr. Lewis, you are WRONG.  The lack of passion seen in his eyes is unbearable to watch.  The lack of emotion this guy displays is exactly what's made us an anemic and pathetic team ever since he came.  I'm not saying that before him we were any better, but start facing the facts Bengal fans, we will never, ever win a playoff game as long as Lewis is the head coach.

Have you ever seen a Marvin Lewis press conference?  Then you know what I'm talking about.  Have you ever seen him in the sideline after a bad play?  Then I think you know what I mean.  He is lifeless. 

What does Marvin bring to the team?  Leadership?  Technique?  Inspiration?  I think not so.  It's about time Mike Brown realizes that we're going nowhere fast, and we need to fire this douche bag.  Hey, he can be a great guy for the community, for his family, for his friends, heck, he can be a great guy for the players.  As far as being a HEAD COACH, he's terrible.  The guy should've stayed as a D coordinator, in Baltimore.  

It's time we move on.  I suggest hiring Zimmer as the head coach and looking for two new coordinators.  It's not just about execution Marvin, it's a matter of inspiring your players for them to execute accordingly, and for that, you're worthless.

By the way Chad Johnson, your time has passed, you suck.

RE-POST

“Cincinnati is probably going to go into New York and lay down for the Jets,” Steelers linebacker LaMarr Woodley yesterday told a Pittsburgh newspaper.

“The Bengals don’t want to see Pittsburgh in there … they know if we get into the playoffs we’re a dangerous team.”

Because Woodley’s comments have created a firestorm in Cincinnati and around the NFL, we wanted to take a deeper look at the linebacker’s motivations, so teams of college interns were deployed to research the player and his life.

Shockingly, it was learned Woodley suffers from Neurogastrodelusionalphrenia, an often deadly disease brought on by a rare, mutant artery connecting the colon and brain. "LaMarr has the worst case of Neurogastrodelusionalphrenia I've seen since Al Frankin," says Woodley's doctor.

“Basically, in layman’s terms, we call it Sh_t-For-Brains Disease but don’t quote me on that,” said Dr. Donald Donnelstool, a renowned Pittsburgh expert on the city’s rising cases of Neurogastrodelusionalphrenia.

Donnelstool’s other Neurogastrodelusionalphrenia patients include Hines Ward, Tiger Woods and NFL Network’s Rich Eisen.

It’s estimated only 0.0000005 percent worldwide are born with Neurogastrodelusionalphrenia, but strangely nearly 20 percent of people spelling their names LaMarr have it, as well as 50 percent of those living in and around the city of Pittsburgh.

“Yeah, LaMarr’s Neurogastrodelusionalphrenia used to pop up a lot as a kid,” said Woodley’s mother, Bertha Woodley.

“He’d say the local pee wee football champions were afraid to play his team. The champions were good, always went 10-0. LaMarr’s team was mostly 0-10 and never scored any points. And they lost to girls, too,” she added.

An eight-year-old Woodley once said of his Fighing Ducklings pee wee team, “Everybody knows we’re dangerous, once we get into the playoffs no matter how we played this season.” That year the Fighting Ducklings were 0-10, even losing 45-0 to the team’s little cheerleaders.

Woodley’s girlfriend MazzyMay Murdock has seen the player’s condition worsen over the years. “It goes way beyond LaMarr thinking other people are afraid of him and the Steelers,” Murdock admitted. “He’s now crapping his pants in public. It’s so bad that I’m smoking again.”

While to date no Hollywood stars are representing the Neurogastrodelusionalphrenia cause, reportedly The Jackson 4 are under consideration.

Well, we got our ass kicked today.  Boohoo.  We played crappy football, and I could feel our fear before the game even started.  Our players went out there nervous and indecisive.  I saw missed tackles, missed throws, missed blocks, missed...everything.   We got outplayed, "outcoached," "outbattled," out-everything.  They were tougher, meaner, faster, smarter, etc etc etc etc...  Our penalties were pathetic.  Our quarterback was even more pathetic.  Our offensive game plan was pathetic.  Our coach was pathetic going for the field goal instead of the touchdown.  Our D was mediocre except for some great plays in the secondary.  Our kicker was horrible.  Our punter was even worse.  So, what's left?  Hoping to win in San Diego, but more importantly, looking at the bigger picture.

via dafiffloor.files.wordpress.com

We need to start looking beyond this season and stop being so anxious about this one.  Of course we want to get to the playoffs (which it's almost impossible not to achieve this season), of course we want to get to the Superbowl, and of course we want to win every game by 30 or more points.  But here is the reality.  We're not quite there yet.  We are going north, but we haven't gotten there.  We're a couple of years from possibly winning a couple of Championships.  We're a couple of years from possibly becoming a dynasty.  You see teams like the Patriots, the Colts, and yes, the stinking Steelers, and they've been much better their championship years than we are this year.  Loses like today's hurt, but you know what, they're extremely necessary if we ever want to become a championship team.  Today's game was so rich in experience, with not that much at stake, that we should all consider this as a valuable lesson, not as a disastrous loss.  I know many don't look at it so devastating, but it definitely feels like it.  My liver gets a beating after loses like this.  My throat too.  So after digesting this terrible feeling, I'll try to look at the upside:

Rey Maualuga is a great example of what our D's identity is at this point.  It is a young and promising defense for years to come.  We are one of the youngest teams in the league, and our D is very close to becoming elite for time to come, we just need to mature.  Rey is one of those players that's going to get better with time.  He's potential is huge, and he will anchor our D for a long time.  Of course he took bad angles today, of course he had missed tackles today, but hey, the guy is a monster.

Our corners are now elite in the eyes of most of us.  Those guys can play lights out, and the best thing is that they are young, young, and young.

Ced Benson seems to be our feature back for many years.  He's quick, fast, and powerful.  With the O line gaining expierience, and possible another big time addition to it (maybe a guard in the second round), we should be set.

With that said, we should be able to fix our problems if we draft correctly and if we fire Bob Bratkowski at the end of this season.  We need a prime time receiver, a prime time safety, and another prime time D tackle which we should all get at this upcoming draft.  With that, we will be a much better team next year, and the year after, and we should be a team to be reckoned for many years to come.  So Bengal fans, take a breather, hope for the best this year, but more importantly, look at the bigger picture.

REPOST

December 11, 2009 – As Steelers’ playoff hopes essentially died Thursday in Cleveland, Pittsburgh-area officials were quick to report an expected bump to its local economy, as millions of jobless Steelers fans will soon return to vacated drive-thru jobs.

“Our economy is built around the fast-food drive-thru industry,” said Pittsburgh Chamber of Commerce president Black Lungston. “Each year millions of Steelers fans leave their drive-thru jobs to blog 20 hours a day about the Steelers.”  

According to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, nearly 92 percent of all Pittsburgh drive-thru positions have gone unfilled since the first 2009 pre-season game.

Byron Krunk, known on NFL blogs as 2-4-Da-Thumb, and who still owns the blogosphere record for most usage of the word “Bungles” (27,546,712), is already looking to the 2010 season.

“No way I’m going back to Wendy’s,” Krunk said. “No F---ing way. Sure, I had a highly challenging job there, but we can’t give Cincinnati one moment’s peace. They Bungles. Bungles suck, Bungles blow, Bungles bite me, Bungles eat me, Bungles are Bungles!” Krunk spent 12 years as drive-thru trainee at a Pittsburgh-area ButtyBurger.

Pittsburgh resident Spike Turner sees it differently. “Sure, I’m a Steelers fan and hate to see them lose ... but having to park and actually go inside for a burger? Hell no, me and my family just stay home. Oh yeah, Bungles suck, Bungles blow.”

Google Search spokesperson Terri Gradshaw said her company each year must reinforce server capacity due to heavy keyword traffic coming from Pittsburgh zip codes.

“When the Steelers get eliminated,” Gradshaw said, “we start seeing heavy blog use of keywords like Bungles, Bungles suck, Bungles blow, Bungles bite me, Bungles eat me, Bungles are Bungles ... even some ‘Bungles are dumbherds’, but we think they mean ‘dumbheads.’ They’re bad spellers in Pittsburgh.”

When informed of the Steelers loss, the Pittsburgh Fast-Food Drive-Thru Association said, “Bungles suck, Bungles blow, Bungles bite me, Bungles eat me, Bungles are Bungles ... Bungles are dumbherds.

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via one4theotherthumb.com

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o and, 

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Three major things have made us the team we are now.  What team are we?  I don't know, but we've beaten a few good teams, and our record doesn't lie.  These three things have contributed to where we are now.

Continue reading this post »

The poor ol lowly Bengals beat your team.  It must be embarrassing for Steeler nation to blow such a comfortable game at the end like that.  Look at it however you want to look at it: Limas Sweed dropped the pass, Tomlin played conservative, etc etc etc.  Fluke or not fluke, the puny little Bengals beat your mighty Shitsburgh Steelers.  I've never felt pitty for anybody until today.  As I mentioned before in this blog site, the tide was about to turn, today.  So long mighty Steelers.  Hope you enjoy your loss.  Forget about the playoffs now, just go back to the drawing board and start from scratch, because if the Bungles beat you, then who can't?  Keep your heads up you arrogant pricks.  Oh how sweet this is.

With deadlines coming up, I thought I'd take a gander at the final 53 man roster on this controversial Bengals team.  I'll present the roster in a depth chart configuration.

POSITION                        1ST                          2ND                          3RD                          4TH                        5TH

QB                                 PALMER              O'SULLIVAN               PALMER

RB                                 BENSON                   SCOTT                  LEONARD

FB                                 JOHNSON                    FUI

TE*                                 UTECHT                 COATS                   COFFMAN

WR                                    85                         HENRY                    COLES                    CALDWELL              SIMPSON                                                                                                                                                                            COSBY

LT                                    WHIT               

LG                                LIVINGS                  SHIRLEY

C                                   COOK                       LUIGS

RG                               WILLIAMS               KOOISTRA

RT                                COLLINS                    SMITH

SS                              WILLIAMS                  NDUKWE             NELSON

FS                             CROCKER                   WHITE

RCB                             HALL                         TRENT

LCB                             JOSEPH                    JONES

LDE                           GAETHERS                FANENE

RDE                              ODOM                    JOHNSON            RUCKER

LDT                               PEKO                       MOORE

RDT                               SIMS                      JOHNSON

OLB                          MAUALUGA                 JEANTY

MLB                            JONES                        HODGE

OLB                             RIVERS                       SKUTA

LS                               ST. LOUIS

P                                   HUBER

K                                 GRAHAM

*UTECHT IS UNCERTAIN BECAUSE OF CONCUSSION

I give the nudge to Jeremi Johnson because of seniority.  I think Pressley gets cut on a numbers game.

Clinton Mcdonald might be banged up to make the roster, Moore was drafted first by the Bengals which I think is a plus.

Nelson will be able to play corner in some situations.

Shirley bumps Mathis off of the roster because they think he has a lot of potential.

Dorsey is too much like Scott, and they clearly prefer Scott.  Leonard gives another dimension to the running game.

Henry gets 2nd receiver over Coles, Henry's having a better offseason.

Your thoughts.

As pre season continues, there are certain things starting to unravel before our eyes.  I think it's somewhat unfair to judge a player with only a few months of training camp and only a hunful of real opportunities in pre season games.  Typically, players need at least a year of experience before they start to show their true abilities.  But that's the way the cookie crumbles.  Rookies have to make the best out of their few opportunities.

Continue reading this post »

I know it's too early to tell, but given last night's performance, I can see three players that might be huge this season. 

First off, Chase Coffman.  Not only are the other two tight ends likely to not play this season (Kelly is out for sure), but he seems like a beast all on his own.  Palmer is going to make him one of his favorite receivers.  And if he learns to block, he might be our next Tony Gonzalez. 

Second, Brian Leonard.  The guy is big, fast, and hits like a truck.  He's going to be huge on third downs and short yardage plays.  I hope that Scott can contribute a lot with his outside speed though.

Third.  Michael Johnson.  Everyone is praising his athletic ability.  He might have double digit sacks this year if they play him sufficiently.

Honorable mention:

I don't know why but Freddie Brown seems to be a tough, reliable receiver.  He's not a burner and he's not huge in size, but I have a hunch that if he makes the team, he'll contribute sooner or later to this team.

I love Scott and Lucky's vision as well as their excellent catching abilities.  Either one would be excellent 3rd down backs.  Leonard and the FB (I'd prefer either Fui or Pressley) can be our short yardage backs.  Kenny and De De should pack their bags and pray to make another team's roster.  I like De De's elusiveness but I'd have to question his toughness and durability to keep him in our roster.  What d' ya guys think?

via prod.static.bengals.clubs.nfl.com

Is it the hot-shot-celebrity reliable Jones?

via prod.static.bengals.clubs.nfl.com

Or the hard hitting rookie?

via prod.static.bengals.clubs.nfl.com

My ideal situation would be starting Dhani Jones so that Rey Maualuga can learn from a pro.  Though I wouldn't be surprised if Zimmer starts Rey at MLB from day 1.  The kid played in a pro style defense down at USC. He should be ready for the NFL pretty soon.

I wold love to see non-stop motor Mcdonald in this year's DT rotation. I would then have to assume that Jason Shirley would leave. That would make for:

1. Peko

2. Tank

3. Sims

4. Mcdonald

Peko and Sims are run stuffers while the other two are penetrators.

via prod.static.bengals.clubs.nfl.com

Throw MJ in the mix and I can tell you right now we will get at least twice as much sacks this season. Hell of a DT rotation.

I know Smith was drafted with the idea of being the starting LT for the Bengals.  I don't see that happening.  Everybody knows that he is a much better run blocker than pass blocker.  My thinking is that he will follow in "highway 71's" footsteps and be a superb run blocking right tackle.  I would give LT to Collins, he proved he is more than capable of handling Palmer's blindside.  Withworth is clearly better suited for LG.