Here is my letter to the NBA Board of Governors, that I'll start emailing to the folks on Aykis' contact list that can be found here. I am posting it here in case anyone else wishes to do the same. Any thoughts on things I should add, subtract, or fix are much appreciated.

Continue reading this post »

Okay folks. I'm going to begin the newest Asinine Offseason Thread with my own offseason idea, based on popular opinion around StR as of late. The Kings are gonna get a Rudy!

Continue reading this post »

It seems that asinine threads are popping up with the writers just hoping for boob pictures. Apparently I have created a giant big chested monster. For that I apologize.

But, no time to dwell. We need to get back to the task at hand: coming up with random offseason moves for our beloved Kings. So far this summer we've said hello to new friends Samuel Dalembert, DeMarcus Cousins, and Hassan Whiteside. We've also said goodbye to the much beloved, yet highly feared connoisseur of pancakes, Jon Brockman. So it's time for you to come up with your own ideas for the team.

Earlier this week Ziller said "The world is not your trade machine." Obviously, some of us disagree. Use this thread to tell Ziller to suck it!

I shouldn't have to explain this anymore but apparently I do: If you have an idea for an offseason move such as a trade or free agent signing, post it here. If your "FanPost" (notice the quotes) would be better served as a comment somewhere else, post it here. If your "FanPost" is barely long enough to meet the 75 word requirement, post it here (and yes, I get the irony, fuckers). If you think LPA might murda U 4 how bad UR grammer and speling is, post it heer!

I know most of us StR vets are tired of some of the noobs that tend to not follow the preferred FanPosting protocol. We all probably wish we could replace the noobs with some boobs, which would make things much more enjoyable, probably even for StR's team mom, LPA. However, there's no magical button that can automatically turn a crappy post into something like this:

via www.thevancouverite.com

Believe me, I've tried. A lot.

Continue reading this post »

Have I taught you nothing Sactown Royalty? There's been like 4 posts in the past week about how we should trade for Courtney Lee. Seriously? Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have him in a Kings uni but we don't need so many fan posts dedicated to a third stringer who doesn't actually play for us, do we? And Gerald Green? You're kidding right? So when it comes to ideas you have for the Kings' front office this offseason, please feel free to post it here. Ziller hardly does any work around here anymore anyway, I hate for his time to be wasted closing crappy posts.

Okay folks... this shit is getting ridiculous. Not every little idea is cut out to be a FanPost. No one wants to see a thread dedicated to each potential summer acquisition that can be summed up like so: "So and So is a free agent this summer. Wouldn't he look great in a Kings uniform? What do you think?" or "Should we try to trade for so and so? I hear he's available. He'd make a great fit!" We especially don't need these when Ziller's already posted like 9 Free Agent Threads today alone. But who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. If I am then Ziller or Section can feel free to smite me. But on the off chance that I'm right, let's put an end to this madness.

Not all of these posts cut it. I'm sorry, but it's true. That doesn't mean don't try. It just means we need to try a little harder, be a little more original. If you want to see some great FanPosts look at the sidebar under "Recommended FanPosts." There's plenty of examples of how this shit is done. I also highly recommend just about any of these. In now way am I trying to discourage anyone from posting. Not at all. I just want to encourage the best posting possible. So this thread is for random asinine ideas. Post here if your idea is shorter and you have trouble fleshing it out in more than 75 words. We call this BPS (Bizarro Pookey Syndrome). 

Don't take this as me trying to be a dick. Do or do not, there is no try... remember?