SB Nation User Blog: vj

Baltimore's all star game representative

vj — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 20:50:34 -0000

George Sherrill.

Where's Paul's exited announcement?

Jeff's edit:

Lemonade

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Lemonade is the collected urine from the animal known as a lemon. The urine is then mixed with sugar and consumed by humans as part of a ritualistic offering to Satan. Black people often drink lemonade in hopes of turning white like Michael Jackson. Excessive consumption is linked to lower immunity and Syphillis.

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1 The Back Story
2 How Kittens Made Lemonade
- 2.1 Results
3 Uses
- 3.1 See also

The Back Story

Lemonade's main use is fuel for the kittens in the Human vs. Kitten War. In 1939, at its height, the Kitten Mob of New Jersey, started underground lemonade factories and sold it on the black market to other potential kitten "hit teams". The lemonade would give them a temporary boost of power, similar to the rush humans get when they intake caffeine. They also occasionally received superpowers, such as invisibility, super-stealth mode, and an unnamed ability to crap their own body weight. In Soviet Russia they are developing a nationalistic propagana drink called Leninade which is being derived from its fuel for kittens. This drink when completed will have the exact same use as the fuel for kittens except for humans. Also due to the Russian Revesal will have humans become fuel for Leninade.

How Kittens Made Lemonade A common ingredient in kitten lemonade.

When lemonade was first discovered to aid kittens, they exploited it, much like cats would. Their first recipes included:

3 lemons
20 tablespoons of sugar
1 gallon of sperm
A pinch of Love
Fish semen (preferably the Pete Burns Lip variety)

Although recent mixtures have included multiple shots of vodka, uranium, and gasoline.

Results

At first kittens were reluctant to use lemonade as a fuel, because of the nasty side effects of X-treme diarrhea (X-treme is worse than the normal extreme). However, they found a solution to this little problem--sniffing black pepper. Since pepper causes one to sneeze, and the lemonade caused X-treme diarrhea, the two effects canceled out.

Since lemons have become harder to come by (thanks to the British middle class), kittens have started to turn to black market lemons, or the controversial new blue lemonade.

Uses

Lemonade is, first and foremost, used as a fuel for kittens. What kind of fuel, you may ask? Well, mainly it is used much like human Gatorade, but much more potent, giving increased speed, strength, intelligence, and sexual powers. Yet, some experts think this just may be a placebo effect.

The effects of the newer blue lemonade are still being researched, but due to the recently observed effect of head explosion in weak humans and dogs, blue lemonade is looking more like a potential weapon, than an energy drink.

Lemonade is also the common stereotype drink sold at kitty bars. It is also the official anabolic steroid of the New York Yankees, and Oprah Winfrey.

How to flirt with a ballgirl

vj — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 21:57:34 -0000

From SBN sister site Gaslampball.

http://www.gaslampball.com/story/2008/1/3/16727/56239

MLB No Longer Accepting New Players

vj — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:17:49 -0000

In a tersely worded press release Tuesday, Major League Baseball sent a strong message to the thousands of college, high-school, and Little League athletes who have voiced their desire to someday become professional baseball players: "You're too late."
[...]
In addition, the annual June amateur draft has been canceled, and players expected to take part in it have been asked to "look into other lines of work."

Source

Jeff Sullivan featured at Baseballanalysts.com

vj — Thu, 19 Jan 2006 19:44:23 -0000

Since Jeff seems to humble, here's a plug for his article over at the Baseballanalysts site:
"A Quantitative Approach to Studying Release Point Consistency" features the analysis by screenshots, that we are familiar with.

Here's the link:

http://baseballanalysts.com/archives/2006/01/a_quantitative_1.php

Baseball Payrolls

vj — Sat, 07 Jan 2006 20:53:36 -0000

Over at the PI, I saw this ap story:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/baseball/2010AP_BBO_Baseball_Final_Payrolls.html

Guess where the Mariners rank.

Interesting read

vj — Mon, 19 Dec 2005 20:51:01 -0000

http://cmdr-scott.blogspot.com/

Over at the management by baseball blog (which rocks, btw), Jeff Angus has an interesting take on the Everett signing.

Summary: As the Angels GM, Bavasi had success with Tony Phillips, a somewhat similar player in a similar situation

Leone becomes a Padre

vj — Fri, 04 Nov 2005 19:28:17 -0000

This might interest a few readers of this site...

here's the link to rotoworld:
http://www.rotoworld.com/content/playerpages/player_main.asp?sport=MLB&id=7370