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The Enumerative: Greatest Sporting Sweaters

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Welcome to our incredibly innovative feature, The Enumerative. ↵Because lists are awesome, plus effective time killers, in this space ↵we'll provide a top five based loosely on something that has recently ↵occurred in the sporting world.
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Every gentleman of substance and style must in his possession have a sweater. This is a truth universally recognized, as the sweater helps maintain warmth without being overly bulky, helps form a gentleman's silhouette when fitted to the wearer, and makes one especially cuddly with the ladies on cold nights. ↵

↵The sweater also has a real place in sport. As the weather turns cold, men of fortitude continue to travel into the great outdoors at their leisure, not letting the wind, rain, or bite of a cold breeze affect them. A sweater is handy for blunting the effects of the cold while also helping one make a statement that while you do want chapped nipples from being outside all the time, you also do not want to sacrifice style for comfort. ↵

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↵We sing the praises of the sweater as used by some of sport's finest cashmere-loving citizens below, and examine the unique ways used. ↵

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↵5. The Tressel Sweatervest. The formal-ish yet go-with-everything accessory that lets you know Jim Tressel wants to stay warm and preppy, but is ready at a second's notice to roll up the sleeves and do some hard work. Accessorize with an American flag pin unless you are a total commie. ↵

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↵4. The Federer Banana Parfait Cardigan. Classy, a nod to tennis greats past, well-knit, and the exact colors of banana pudding with Nilla Wafers in it. All of these are great things, especially the banana pudding part, because it is 5:00, and we'd kill someone for a bowl of pudding about right now. Also an appropriate match to Federer's unbeatably bland but powerful style of tennis. ↵

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↵3. The Pink Knightmare. It was for a good cause, but if you want to see the equivalent of a dog dressed up in a Halloween costume it really does not like at all, opt for the Bobby Knight Pink Knightmare. ↵

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↵2. The Larry Brown Experience Sweater. Larry Brown bought this sweater to teach Jazzercise or begin his career as a magician. Thank goodness he opted for basketball instead, because there's probably more wherever these came from, and that wherever is almost certainly "Gallagher's Closet." ↵

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↵1. The Jamarcus Russell Soul Cozy. Sweater? Parasitic lifeform attached to its host? Exotic body armor? The world will never know exactly what this is, but Russell's astonishing Soul Cozy sweater worn to the 2006 BCS title game needs no explanation besides the screaming and pointing you are undoubtedly doing just looking at it right now. WARNING: exposures of longer than 30 seconds to the naked eye will result in TOTAL insanity. ↵

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↵(Editor's note: We'd be remiss if we did not mention the fine ladies sherpa sweater worn to Sunday's Eagles game by Pat Burrell of the Phillies. It was really the inspiration for this entire post.) ↵

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.