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ESPN's Director Of Programming Is Captain Planet

Climate change is happening (unfortunately, that is a controversial statement). That said, ESPN's Saturday coverage makes me want to drive a Hummer into a tree full of endangered woodland creatures. The Michigan-Kansas game, which the Jayhawks won 75-64, was designated the "Green Game," and a significant chunk of the game was spent prattling on and on and on about how we can all go green and save the environment and go green and save the environment and go green and save the environment.

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The broadcast was littered with ostensibly helpful hints, such as:

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WHOA THANKS FOR THE GREAT TIP Y'ALL. Couldn't this be accomplished with a couple of commercials, rather than by slapping superfluous graphics on the screen and cutting to sideline interviews with talking heads every thirty seconds? You know, a really good way to conserve energy is to turn off your television.