The current state of sportswriting may be a sad land of humorless gasbags wallowing in sanctimony and false outrage, but fortunately Twitter is here, and may make all of them obsolete. ↵
↵This can happen if and only if all athletes are as obsessive and open as John Daly, who has somwewhere around 1,137 responses to users on his Twitter feed, a long stream of answers to the common folk about his lap band surgery, his undying passion for white cheese popcorn and chocolate peanut butter cup blizzards, fashion tips, cake, and the occasional jokes about frog/pig sex. ↵
↵Topic one: the lap band. While it has inhibited his favorite pasttime ... ↵
↵↵⇥@AndyHeyes87 really not a guiness guy especially with this lap band doesn't go down ↵↵
↵It hasn't stopped him from fantasizing about food constantly on the feed... ↵
↵↵⇥@BanjoJones loved fried bologna sandwiches as a kid ↵⇥↵↵⇥i really miss my mama lou's chocolate gravy & buscuits over here in the mornin ↵⇥
↵⇥↵⇥Anyone out there have any connections with FRITO LAY? ↵⇥
↵⇥↵⇥I AM CRAVING FRITO LAYS "SMART FOOD" WHITE CHEDDAR POPCORN ↵⇥
↵⇥↵⇥@secherd frito lay man white cheddar popcorn try it and youre hooked ↵⇥
↵⇥↵⇥oh and BTW i'm in SPAIN & it's my Birthday -- i do LOVE CAKE ↵⇥@MrBusinessGolf im hopin,,problem is gotta chew it up real good. Jaws get tired when you got a real man's steak ↵⇥
↵
↵....and even though it has him tweeting constantly about white cheddar popcorn and the goodness of the Olive Garden (he's a regular at the one in Clearwater, Florida), it had to be done: ↵
↵↵⇥@GilletteSilver hell had to do something my belly was gettin in the putters way. ↵↵
↵Daly will seemingly reply to anyone who asks him a question, meaning you can bypass superb sportswriting questions like "How did losing make you feel?" and "Is it easy being John Daly" and ask him the questions you really want to know, like when he's going to grow back his mullet. ↵
↵↵⇥@Peter_Rski friends want my mullet back thoughts ↵↵
↵The answer? He has to bring one other thing back first, and then we'll talk about the Arkansas Neck Protector: ↵
↵↵⇥not sure about bringing mullet back? im bringin sexy back ↵↵
↵Help kill off the dying carcass of journalism by following Daly's feed here. ↵
↵This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.