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Every Miami Celebrity to Have Piece of Dolphins

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Marc Anthony is lining up to become a minority owner of the Dolphins, joining Gloria Estefan and Jimmy Buffett as part of the hydra-headed ownership team of 305 celebrities Dolphins' owner Stephen Ross has brought on board as part of his attempt to bring every celebrity ever prominently associated with America's malarial Babylon.
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↵This has Dolphins fans like Janie Campbell struggling to find some cover from the heaps of inbound ridicule headed for Dolphins fans everywhere.
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↵⇥But you're making it reeeeeal hard for Miami fans to survive amongst our pigskin brethren in the sports bars and fantasy leagues. After all, our stadium just got renamed for the piña colada of beers, our running back is demanding to be called "Errick" while passing out rubdowns, and our pants are teal. Throw us a bone, would you? Or, if this absolutely must continue, may we suggest Trick Daddy? At least he's got street cred. ↵
↵Oh, it's not bad yet. When full-time Miami resident David Caruso becomes the PA announcer, then it gets bad. Or maybe awesome. I can't decide. That's Ronnie Brown out of the Wildcat on the touchdown. Kitty has claws, New England. YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
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↵Okay, this part would work. Landshark Beer, no; David Caruso and the Who blasting after every TD, yes.↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.