clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Who Doesn't Want to Spend Five Hours in a Deer Stand with Phil Fulmer?

New, comment
Mr. Fulmer, are you... challenging wildlife to a fight?

Phillip Fulmer has barbecue sauce on his shirt time on his hands these days, what with the unceremonious departure from the Tennessee football proram and all. Fortunately for you, the state of Tennessee, and really all of America, he's also a longtiime hunter, and when it comes to time-consuming habits, nothing touches hunting. Well, that or World of Warcraft, but we're pretty sure Fulmer doesn't much cotton to these computers today.

Given all that, Tennesseeans will soon see Fulmer on their television again (and, if the Lane Kiffin Era turns into the car wreck we're expecting, wanting him back), this time promoting the Tennessee Wildlife Federation and a worthwhile program:

⇥⇥Tennessee hunters can expect to be seeing a lot of the former Tennessee football coach in the weeks and months ahead as he takes on the role of sportsman and spokesman for the Tennessee Wildlife Federation and the Hunters For the Hungry Program. [...]⇥⇥

⇥⇥Fulmer ended up working with TWF after a conversation the organization's Chad Whittenburg had with him and broadcaster Doug Mathews. Whittenburg told Mathews he was looking for a spokesman, one coach recommended the other and Fulmer didn't hesitate to lend his name to not only the Hunter's For the Hungry Program but one of the state's oldest conservation organizations.⇥⇥


⇥⇥Hunter's For the Hungry takes venison donated by hunters and distributes it to families in need across the state. Since 1998 more than 360,000 pounds of meat have been donated, enough for 1.5 million meals.⇥⇥

As connoisseurs ourselves, we will freely point out that anybody who limits a meal to less than a quarter pound of venison is no friend of ours. But we're not here to argue numbers.

No, the real story is that Phil Fulmer looks spectacularly hilarious in hunter's gear, like the misshapen, multicolored globs that Play-Doh becomes after children play with it for years. He doesn't have pancake butt, he has pancake everything.

And though we've never met Mr. Fulmer and thus can't personally testify to his countenance, we have known enough college football coaches to know that they're some of the least tolerable men on the planet. Perhaps some may be normal, even mature when the cameras aren't on, but these men are exceptions. No, this is an industry that attracts and promotes Ron Zooks and Tim Brewsters; if Fulmer's even half the self-sure blowhard, we'll be trying to swallow the duck call and end the agony before sunrise.


This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.