â†µJozy Altidore and Chas A. â†µLindbergh, Jr.: young, potential-laden lads kidnapped from their â†µhome by people whose grasp of English is poor, then hidden away for â†µmonths at a time. A nation waits with bated breath. Is he okay? Where â†µhas he gone? Is his first touch any better? â†µâ†µ
â†µFor Chas, the answers to these questions were "no," â†µ"about five miles from his home," and "uh… what?" â†µAbout two months after he disappeared, he was found dead by the â†µroadside. Jozy's faring better; his answers are "pretty much," â†µ"some place called Xerex," and "eh ... not really." He â†µwreaked his terrible vengeance on Spain in the Confederations Cup. But â†µthe threat of wasted potential still looms. With the World Cup coming up â†µnext year, nationwide panic -- nay, hysteria -- is certain if Altidore is not â†µrestored to his rightful place in someone's starting lineup. â†µâ†µ
â†µSo, please, Villareal, stay your hand and loan him to someplace that â†µwill play him. Otherwise the FBI will drag you into court, and probably â†µsentence you to swing. This country will not abide another Eddie â†µJohnson. â†µâ†µ
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