â†µOf all our founding fathers, none is more annoyingly perfect than George Washington. He didn't crown himself king! He made brilliant decisions like crossing the Delaware and marrying rich! He never told a lie, and wore only the most powdery and lustrous of wigs! â†µâ†µ
â†µHe cheated on his wife, but he was so good at it his wife didn't care! â†µâ†µ
â†µThe logical college football corollary from the present? Tim Tebow, the non-drinking, steadily virtuous type who would be incalculably irritating if he weren't busy leading your team across icy rivers to certain victory. The rest of the SEC's in there, too, though my weak Revolutionary War history limits casting to three picks: â†µâ†µ
â†µHouston Nutt: Mad Anthony Wayne. Because he's insane. â†µâ†µ
â†µBobby Petrino: Benedict Arnold. â†µâ†µ
â†µNick Saban: Alexander Hamilton, because he's in charge of the cash as the SEC's filthiest of filthy rich coaches. â†µâ†µ
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