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Craig James to Run for Office: This Will End Well

The Onion proves that they’re the only ones who properly understand reality yet again by writing about the Adam James incident as it deserves to be written about: with zero respect for anyone involved:

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“At first I thought it sounded stupid, even kind of cruel, but I have to admit it worked like a charm. My head feels awesome, 100 percent,” said James, who was surprised to learn that during his recuperation Leach had been fired.

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Absurd is about to double up, however. Craig James, father of Adam James, ESPN announcer, and man behind the firing of two head football coaches now, is planning a run for the Texas Senate as a Republican. James has yet to solidly define his positions on the issues yet, though you should assume he’s against the harsh treatment of prisoners in wartime based on his son’s case.