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Craig James to Run for Office: This Will End Well

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The Onion proves that they’re the only ones who properly understand reality yet again by writing about the Adam James incident as it deserves to be written about: with zero respect for anyone involved:

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“At first I thought it sounded stupid, even kind of cruel, but I have to admit it worked like a charm. My head feels awesome, 100 percent,” said James, who was surprised to learn that during his recuperation Leach had been fired.

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Absurd is about to double up, however. Craig James, father of Adam James, ESPN announcer, and man behind the firing of two head football coaches now, is planning a run for the Texas Senate as a Republican. James has yet to solidly define his positions on the issues yet, though you should assume he’s against the harsh treatment of prisoners in wartime based on his son’s case.