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NCAA Tournament Announcer Pairings Set; We Rank Them Arbitrarily

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CBS has set the announcing duos for the NCAA Tournament, which tips off NEXT WEEK (!!!!). Here they are, ranked from best (aka "please, god, let these two call my game") to worst (aka "eh, this is bad, but at least it's not Mike Patrick-Dick Vitale"):

  1. Gus Johnson and Len Elmore. Best play-by-play man with perfectly adequate and not-annoying analyst.
  2. ↵
  3. Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery. Verne doesn't know what's going on half the time, but he's still somewhat likable and Raftery remains totally awesome.
  4. ↵
  5. Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas. Same rationale as previous pairing, but Bilas is still a notch below Raftery on the awesome scale.
  6. ↵
  7. Ian Eagle and Jim Spanarkel. Both are pretty good, neither is great.
  8. ↵
  9. Kevin Harlan and Dan Bonner. See: Previous.
  10. ↵
  11. Spero Dedes and Bob Wenzel. I'm not sure who you two are, but I know I don't dislike either of you.
  12. ↵
  13. Tim Brando and Mike Gminsk. Brando's fairly insufferable and the G-Man is just awkward. Sometimes in a likable way, sometimes in a press-mute way.
  14. ↵
  15. Jim Nantz and Clark Kellogg. CBS's No. 1 pair managed to get worse when they replaced Packer with Kellogg. 
  16. ↵

Again: These rankings are science and you simply cannot argue the validity of any of them. I dare you to try!