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Oregon State Football Players Should Maybe Not Operate Vehicles Of Any Sort

Oregon State football is having either a fantastic or dreadful week in transit, depending on whether or not you're an Oregon State fan:

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Former Oregon State University football players, quarterback Lyle Moevao and linebacker Keaton Kristick, and defensive tackle Brennan Olander, a current team member, were charged Wednesday in the Benton County Circuit Court with felony unauthorized use of a vehicle [...] The vehicle is an OSU golf cart.
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Hilarious and informative (stealing a golf cart is a felony?), this is the sort of crime that can't be followed up with just any ordinary DUI. Having grown bored menacing Corvallis by land, the Beavers take next to the sea:

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Oregon St. quarterback Peter Lalich received a boating DUI Friday on Lake Shasta in northern California Friday, and was booked and even briefly jailed, according to a Shasta County Sheriff's Office incident report.
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Stay tuned to SBN's Building The Dam and find out whether, for their next trick, the Beavers are prepared to give the Georgia Bulldogs a run for their money in moped crime. (Signs point to "yes.")