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Craig James Can Cover Big 12, Just Can't Talk About It

Picture for a moment: You are a sports network executive and one of your college football analysts is involved in an ongoing controversy involving a high-profile team in a certain conference. Would you (a) decide that maybe it's best to more carefully choose said analyst's assignments; or (b) allow said analyst to continue covering games in that conference, but with an order not to talk about the team whose coach he helped oust?

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If you answered (b),  you might have a future at ESPN. Quoth Norby Williamson, one of the Worldwide Leader's vice presidents:

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But if you are putting me on the spot right now and saying, "Am I confident from what I know of the situation, and from what Craig has told me on the investigation, and from what I have read and everything that I have done, am I confident that Craig James can do a Big 12 game where there is not an overarching issue regarding Texas Tech," at this time, yes, I am.

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This, of course, begs the question of how a Big 12 game might not have "an overarching issue regarding Texas Tech," given that every team in the South has to play Texas Tech once and every team competes with the Red Raiders for the conference championship.

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Play-by-play guy: "So, Craig, who do you think has a chance to win the Big 12 this year?"

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Craig James: "Well, you can never count out Texas or Oklahoma, and Nebraska won the North last year. And as a dark horse, you could always have -- um, you know, some other team."

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Play-by-play guy: "What do you think about the chances for Texas Te-- on second thought, let's get back to the game."

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No, this won't be awkward at all.