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Your World Cup Teams Translated For American Use

Hey you, Yanqui: if you need easy references for each World Cup team in 2010, go no further than this comparison of each team to an American reference in order to select the team you will root for or against in the World Cup.


The comparison of New Zealand to UNI in the Big Dance is inspired, as is the comparison of Philip Rivers to Cristiano Ronaldo, since putting the two in the same room with one mirror would result in one painting the walls with the other’s blood. Revision: Phillip Rivers would get up from his chair to start the slap fight, and Ronaldo would then dive to the floor looking for a penalty, and the fight would end with the two plucking each others eyebrows and discussing the finer points of proper bodywaxing.